this blog is brought to you by giuness stout. the only beer with a plastic ball in the can, that might give you better head. wait am inute what? ok folks, been a hwile since i did one of these so let us see where this takes us. much like last nights episode of south park, i do beleive the beer has lost its head. speaking of lost… i recently read up on the series, and ofund that it has more twists and turns then ojs trail mixed with pauly shores sense of humour calling himself the weasel. why does he exist again?
well, im not saying im done iwth myspace, im certainly keeping my profile, too much work has gone into it and im not about to sign off anytime soon. as ive stated before much like john kerrys sense of humour, ive been sucked away by online gaming and im more adicted to it then rachel rays really bad hosting abilities. of course that doesnt exclude the following analogies. like chis tucker trying to say one sentence with out sounding like someone took his nads trapped them inside the bad animatronic jaws bot and set it to jet setter mode. like bud wienstien winning the national jump or die cup, like brittany spears freaking out over her self inflicted hair suicide and blaming it on al gore who blames it on global warming who blames on el ninyo, who in turn blames it on lewis black who is the root of all evil.
but im not here to get wasted write embarrassing things about myself like the fact im not going bald. ha! you thought i was going to say something really revealing about myself but i idnt. i fooled you like i did john wayne when he was looking for his cowboy hat. i never met john wayne. ahh thats the stuff. there is just way too much stuff on my mind… but since im drinking at the moment i might as well let the cat out of the bag like the almost non existent meaning of the oscars. “hey, heres a little golden ego stroker for doing what you do every day! enjoy you self centered african baby nabbing egoless self inflicting suicidaly attention craving crackheads! we love you all and your sense of ridiculos taste. morons.”
sorry… did that come out of me? yes it didnt. i tell you, if not for the fact that some aussies selling his life on ebay then i wouldve thought that the world hadnt gone insane and went the way of the olson twins and paris hilton visiting the rhab clinic and throwing up there pills because they were over 13 grams. im sorry these just arent maing any sense. but i like them so fuck off. lol. life with out menaing is like watching two strippers play basketball while taking a toxicolgy exam on a fat man mans head. it just didnt get any better then that. of ocurse now that i can relate to those that are more addicted to the thrill of pwning some poor noob online then actualy fucking there girlfriend, i can rip on the online commity by pissing them off in the worst way possible. by drinking beer laying down the smackdown and syaing the following:
you poor sons of bitches. i pity you like i pity the fact that alec baldwin has to live with the fact that his brother gets embarrassed more time then a nudist nun. i cant beleive that we spend all our time online playing a game that actually invites us to beleive that wre actually taking place in tron by taking out the main cpu then reorganizing it to the point where ever martha stewarts sense of decor would be mesed up to the point… breathe… where she thinks blue is the new red. yeah and weight watchers was made to make fat and thin people feel giulty about themselves.
look, i dont want to insult anyone, brians got less luck then a homeless bum fighting in the ufc while drunk and on crack…. but to be honest, im not really feeling the love at thisp oint, the love needs to be felt… and squeezed at times of stress. do you think that women with overly large breasts give themselves black eyes? yes i dont. meanwhile i connection fades in and out more times then a bad scene from employee of the month, because dane cook with his powers of shooting speghetti out of his fingers can kiss my hairy red ass. danes cool. but other then that ive learned a great amount of knowlege in game and as well as having created my best character yet, ive become quite adept at whooping that blue whistle ass. blue whistles are giant chickens that you beat the hell out of more times then that one chick that bobby brown uses as a punching bag. i think i would make a good writer for family guy.
well im done for this rant. i rate it a G for family values, crackwhores, midlly enterning failues at sexual advances, and danny devito. because you can pay him an ickel to say anyhting strange.
for the ghosts of halls there is but one thing to do, call upon the spirits of fat russian and persian people to slap them on the back while wearing niothing but a towlett to cover theo ne place no one really cares about, there forheads. my god you guys have dirty minds.