im excited for some reason…not because i tried searching up nude pics of a certain someone….not you christina, lol….but mainly to keep myself occupied from the fact that well….i get bored easily. and the slight fact that the wayns brothers have temporarily made me excited…because they made alvin and the chipmunks ugly little motherfuckers in there upcoming movie…aptly and correctly titled, disaster movie. now let me you now in on off a little secret public knowledge out there…. i dont know what the hell im going to write next. brb…need more coffee!!!!!!
ok im back…as i was saying before… i saw watched a bad porn that made bambi look decent…because disneys an emo little bastard “i dont like the jews so im going to freeze my head until they get wiped away !” yep… im thinking walt disney was a nicer version of hitler. at least disney had the balls to animate his thoughts on the world. “ill spread my hatred through out the world in a speacail secret way! ill invent pinochio! as well as dumbo and pete! good ol pete. that furry bastard.”
look folks, i hate hitler as much as the next guy, and i have friends that are jewish, so….what? its my blog… i write what i want to. lol. anyways, i could compare hitler to the likes of martha stewart, donald trump, rosie o donnel, neil patrick harris, amy whinhouse, the whining bitch on youtube. “oh my god! my marriage is going down the tubes! well! might as well spread false gossip about my marriage on youtube abd gain a hatred filled audience thatll mae the city of detroit lok like its utah.!”, but not because they tried to kill off a part of us… nooooooo. let me elaborate! hehehhehehhehehehhe.
donald trump kills off the balding or bald poeple desire to get a tupee, amywhine house kills off little girls wishes to drink and get laid when they grow up, martha stewart kills off the part of us that makes sense. “its a good thing!” yeah, and so is getting you stomach pumped full of glass and fire ants. but you dont see emo people going that far to get attention do you…. oh wait…yes you do…clay akon…anyways, rosie o donnel kills off the part of us that wants to watch the veiw…. actualy that show does that for us. because im in such a lovly, loving mood today, i might as well include a bunch more of the social screw ups in hollywood, and point out there varios flaws….george…fucking…clooney.
ok, the thing about clooney is this. hes perfect, he is a god of being sexy, he is the epitome of what human civilizations should look up to. i can just imagine christians and jews of the distant future figuring out the link between jesus and clooney right now. “soooo….this book says that in the year 1999 the dark lord will rise to power once again? hey look! oceans thirteen is on again! wait a minute…SON OF A BITCH! GEORGE CLOONEY IS THE DARK LORD! QUICK! SWITCH IT TO SOMETHING USELESS AND STUPID! TURN IT TO NBC! WE MIGHT CATCH THE LAST FIVE MINUTES OF JOEY!”
spin offs are fun to poke at. next we have a famous ass kicking jet fighter piloting slightly gay scientologist, who…just might save the world again from keanu reeves. “there is no spooning tonight….and that makes me sad.” “join scientology! im gay!” “i am the one!” and just for kicks and giggles…. well throw in sly just for the fuck of it. “I AM THE LAW!” no….sly…you are the stutter and misunderstood prince of people that cant speak right. do you have pauly shore on your mountian of a shoulder? because hes the weasel, and your the law, and neos the one, and tom cruise is gay. i think theres a connection here somewhere. but i just cant find it.
meanwhile, over is rosie o donnels fat ass, the husband from “rosan” is eating he way to an early heart attack. “would you like an after dinner mint?” because we would love to see three fat as hell people try to fuck to techno music….actualy i just threw up because of that thought and the world is a darker place for it alltogether. more honestly then the dark lord sauron and voldemorts little pedo game of hide the wand in the boy, as well as put the ring on the finger….these rape jokes doing anything for ya? if not… we should hang out more. to be honest, i think mccain should star in the next highlander movie if they ever decide to bring the series back from hell where it belongs. “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!” should be his campaign slogan with a picture of him standing over george bushes decaptiated body whilst lightning funnles out his ass from just how fucking old he is. yep, mccains age is older then the plot of ten million bc. because he loves him some mastadon ribs.
tom arnolds a fucking pussy and bob sagets got less enthusiasm then a rino getting a boob job from some drunk guy behind the liquor store. back in real life, i think theres a big chance that the dorikame saga will be fucking huge!!!! i loved writing the first book, there was so much energy put into it that we couldnt blame gray davis or tom arnold. because toms thoughts gather electricity from the stupidity of his brain. you know its a dark day when god gets into an accident. im talking not of clooney this time but of morgan freeman. apparently the little bugger got hit by a car and is in serios condition from the briuses that amy whinehouse gave him. what too soon?
momma mia, i hate you. if there was ever a musical that lead to the answer of the ultimate question “where did hillbillies migrate from?” it turns out, they migrated from italy in the 1940’s made up histories for the varios instances of inbreeding, impotence, prince charles look alikes and that fact that world war 1 was started from the deformed dickhed who was kiiled. you heard right. prince archduke ferdinand was a freak of incest, hillbilly technology at the time, and mccains genes. yes mccains was alive back there, and in his late 10,000’s.
where by we go back to hitler and his stupid ways of getting back at the jews for beating him in hopscotch when he was four years old. little hitler! lol. “he vas a goot german…then he grew up, and became a vunditten sociopath whithe the likes the world had never seen!” lol…we alll like making fun of retarded people. speaking of which, goerge bush is attempting to make his mark in history, already had…just not a good one, by pulling the troops out of iraq. cause he doesnt want to get one uped by the black guy. yes you heard right. now normally, i would say what the fuck to this bullshit. and i will. what the fuck.
you know what…this has been a revivng experience for me. normally i oculdnt get this stuff out of my head even if i wanted to. but much like a bad bratinny experience, itll just keep happening again and show the show the monster of all vaginas in a shot that shot the world to its core and invented the term “a vagina turned me gay.” in both sense of the term folks. in the sense of the term.
i havent been able to vent like this in a while so im pretty stoked that i made it this far into the entry with out having to rely on a anna nicole smith joke…oh shit, never mind. the fact that still remains a mystery thus far in the circle of life to me is this. i dont care who the dead womans babies father is, i just want to know the specifics. who was she? why should i care? and why does showtime keep aring her bad porno special everynight at 1 in the morning? and whats there thinking on that matter? “we should air her nude special to the masterbating public at night to honor her memory!” no….no. what your doing is proving that airing pornos of dead people while they were still alive, when they are now really dead, is provoking more and more necropheliacs to come out into the open. you caple…and fucking disturbed. and you want to know the sad thing? im not able to put this on youtube….fucking hell.
speaking of which…youtube! lovely little place that it is….full of such wonder and excitment, as well as family values, such as the ever popular “lets poke the drunk passed out chick in the vagina with a sharp pointy thing and see if she reacts, then well do it again and put it on camera!” or the more popular: “how to gang up on a chick in our grandmothers home and beat the sense out of her, then wait till she wakes up, and do it again! yay me.” fucking doctor phil.
i will never watch docotr phil again because of that, i know that this is all old news and everything, much like the clan of pedophles on that one ranch in texas… jehovas whoeritnesses was it? yeah i think it was, or the mighty and all powerfull miss america trip up, or the ranting of a pissed off german kid….but i dont really see the point in helping out stupid people. its called survival of the fittest for a reason. and now the wii has done to american fat people what the betty ford clinics have done for clitorises all over the wolrd, it has made them piss blood for the next five years at how ever growing cute monster games can make fat people thinner, and thin people anorexic. “i cant eat anything today because i want to be as then as a toothpick!” fuck and you.
this is going more to the point of insanity making videos games of movies, and horrifyingly stupid movies out of videogames. i mean…COME ON! HOW MANY TIMES DO WE ACTUALLY NEED TO SEE THESE HOORIBLE B RATED MOVIES TO GET THEP OINT! JUST ADVERTISE THE DAMNED GAME ALREADY! meanwhile sony has officialy dropped the price of the ps3 to $400….meaning that people who get wellfare checks in the mail can now enjoy current game systems. i swwerve to god….lol. im not drunk this time, its amazing! but i swerve to god, that everytime i see a parent come into a video game store and ask for a sega game for the fucking genesis it makes me want to get up, walk over to the parent, and point them in the direction of florida. cause them being really old fecking tech like that, is like lindsey lohan spreading the gospel in her song “i fucked ever truck driver in the world while writing this song!” stupid fucking old tech, outdated systems, obsolete technology that can be pretty much outmatched by the pure and unadulterated systems of tommorow…
im sorry folks, i just have a lot on my mind, so lets see what we covered her so far in this monster of all blogs. cleberty screw ups, hitler, nude pics of a certain someone, bad porno, horrible movie to game and game to movie franchises, the guy from rosan getting lost inside rosie o donnels fat ass, obese threesomes, transvestites…i mean tomcruise, the old systems and christina. lol. im good….im damned good. lol. meanwhile theres still more to go andl ittle time to go for in this thing of mine. zrii. i want to talk about zrii… its a fun little place, where life can chase… where enemies become friends, when bitterness ends, this is my place…because tonight, god is a dj.
lol…love that song… ive recently been doing less videos then i normally would. mainly because i found out that contrary to popular beleif, the devil didnt go to goergia in hopes getting another soul… he went there to get analy fisted by a cement truck. lol. i love it to death. this music is the shit! has anyone seen the new freecreditreport.com commercials? the guys actually happy in them, and that made all the emo people kill themselves right there. i recently did a bunch of stupid comments to sxephil, for those of you that dont know who he is, hes a guy on youtube that makes more sense then i do, and actually has some pretty damned funny shit on his channel. but i can t think of anything really bad about him other then he occaisionally putsh imself down. well whatever, i have better things to do then worry about internet celebrities and there varios screw ups. chris fucking crocker for one, love the guy to death for the shit he has to put up with, and the fact that it has driven him to his current level of success, buit i got a few words of advice for him.
dude, seriosly, if you want to make more veiwers tune in to you, then go outside into the world everyonce in a while, venture out in the daylight and get a tan…that and get some fucking muscles. lift weights, get into shape, and start looking like the typical guy….or not. apparently he likes to be the bitch in the relationship. like i said before, love the guy, but hes got problems.
thats all im saying for the guy. dont want him to start irrigating the cropcircles for fish eggs. where the fuck did that come from? brb…need more coffee….lets see what us in the world can i talk about? other then the fact ive been getting way the hell more dreams with kim in them then id like….or is it candice with kims voice… idunno… but the fact of the matter is that ive been having em. maybe im finally starting to accept what happened for what its all worth. i mean thinking about alot…not all the time mind you has lead me into some pretty deep insight about everything that going on into the world right now…or at least some of the world as it must have been.
but id rather not get into that at the moment because some things are left in the past and buried. not delving into what could have been or getting all lovy dovey on you all. but she is a very attractive women…like they say, once you truely fall in love with a woman, youll never truelly forget them. but with kim…im starting to tear up ow because of the effect shes had on my life. i got to say that im pretty impressed with it all. looking back on how i used to be versus who i am right now, she forced me to open up in areas i never thought possible. but i got over the little monkey and now im better off for it. and i have sarah to thank for that as well, although it boroke my heart terribly when we stopped talking, it was a good thing, because then i moved on to another interest at the time as well. heena, ill not og into too much of this i promise you. but as unlikely as it must seem, thel ittle darling did have an effect on me as well. thanks to those three wonderful women, im better off for the most part. dont think ive forgotten about you chritina, lol.
back to making fun of varios aspects of our lives like mitt romney and his magical underpants becoming mccains runnning mate while obama is still leaving us in the dark about who hes going to have there as well. it turns out that hes going to keep us in the dark about this…or he might not choose a running mate at all. the guys got more charisma then mccains and mitt put together…together they form the equivelant of john kerry, old, not funny, and might kick the bucket at anytime…which come to think about it, if mccain does win with mitt as his running mate, dies in office, then we would have a mormon as president…and i dont think that anyone wants that. plus of how unpopular he was in the primaries… i mean the guy got last place across the board except for utah… he was right up there in utah…. but more to the point, i think that obama beleives that he can win by himself… laughable but ill go with him on this point.
much like michael jackson gets blamed for fucking every little boy under the age of backstreet boys… i think obama….yeah bad call on the joke…lets get it over with then…will win this one. i mean the medias pulling out all the stops in trying ot make him look like an asshole, what with all the one black guy two white gals deal going on as well as the…the….what fuck…i just watched it last night…the whole phalic object thing going on… it just doesnt make any sense at all. this country needs a swift kick in the ass. i dont know about yall, but i think its high time a democrat…thats black…and has a serios chance of going into the oval office….HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!! I JUST GOT AN IDEA WHO HE SHOULD PICK FOR A RUNNING MATE!!!! bill fucking clinton…. wouldnt that piss hilary off so much though? lol.ying at the thought of it all though…. bill and obama, smoking a blunt, hitting all the intern ass in the world. i mean, think about it for a second, who else then bill would make the perfect running mate for obama? no fucking shit, both of em just fucking piss and shit charisma, have a wonderfull speaking ability, and would totaly out match….no…not bill clinton…morgan freeman! obama and god as his running mate! closley stalked by amywhinehouse, brittanyspears, martha stewart, nbcs joey, and of course, donald trumps wig. anf running the last place would be the almighty of evil orphan aducting, friend shooters, dick cheney. may his scowling face remind us all of walt disneys racist ass.
sorry, didnt mean to screw the world there, but with everything thats been happening in the world lately, it wouldnt surpriseme much…hey this tastes almost like a veggy burger… i love those!!!! flava beans boiled in water for eight hours and ranch dressing combines are the fucking shit. this product has my endorsement. mua ha ha ha ha! i just screwed the flava bean industry big time! im so evil. not as evil as dick cheney though. that friend shooting, whore killing, donald trump raping, monkey tail pulling, bush cock sucking, mother fucking, rooster egg of all thats unholy baster. lol…. i just called dick cheney a unholy turkey baster. lol, thats got to be with worlds worst jokes ive just written this far.
ok, now that ive gotten the ritza mitza bar mitzva out of the way, “you may now break the glas carefully wrapped in the tissue thin napkin and potentielly slice your foot off, giving your husband another reason to go through the prom agency and fuck ever single prom queen in the world. wow sex has been a major figure in this thing hasnt it? im getting really really nervous, because anytime i write a blog this big, it somehow gets deleted and im more pissed at myself for going through the paces and writing something so big that even amywhineouse couldnt suck it off. lol.
now that ive pretty much plowed through my inventory of insults, thanks, premonitions, wishes, fantasys, midgets wailing on eachother with socks for with the tears of prenant emo drama queens, lol….. im evil. i think ill finally close this on a more positive note. im pregnant. lol… kidding, im a guy after all. we cant get pregnant unless were a transvestite woman who changed herself into a guy but kept her repruductive organs, went to a gay bar and screwed a dude there, got pregnant, broadcasted it on the local news, got disproven and was primarily shot in the face by dick cheney, amy whinehouse and charles trippy. because they are the axis of evil, lol.
ill close this off with a special note to my best buddies, blake frazee and christina zombrano…YESH! I GOT THE SPELLING RIGHT! anyway…here it is!
my buddies, i love you both like you were my brother and sister, weve been through hell and back, one moreso then the other, and you helped me in your own ways, and given me substance to mylife, i dont know where id be with out youtwo and ive become a better person because of it. dont think im simply saying you two are the only ones whove helped me become the man i am today, there are others, like mom and dad and scott…somehow, but hes helped me out along the way. but im saying that you two are the biggest contributers to everything, i know that i dont really get more on a personal level with you blake all the time, but your more like the borther i wish i had then anyone else. as well as my actual borther and everything…
and christina? love you too, with out your antics to help cheer me up when i was down i mightve gone insane and done something stupid…like appear on dancing with the stars. shudder…… lol. but you have helped me out on more then one occasion and given me some insight on a lot of things. i cant that you both enough for all the wonderful times weve had together and i hope there are many more to come. i hope that i cna have a chance to tell you in person so that way i can get everything straightened out on the whole puppylove thing, still confused on that part.
well my little blogstalkers and blog buddies alike, i hope that this festive top knotch feast of the mind has satified your hunger for my insane at times thought, so until next time my bloggermaroos! arivaderche! and salute!