through much thought and deliberation of concience mind and that of the unconcios, we are able to se what can and cannot happen in reality, since reality is everything that we perceice physicaly and mentaly, then this blows up a whole section for us to rip up so to speak. back to my original theory as it was. nonsensicla as it may be. andj ust for a bit of sparring practice, i do apologize if i have offended you with my previos comments.
i have devised a simple and enjoyable theory about somethings that make somesense to most. lets talk of matter of the heart. at first, i was happeir then anything to go out on a limb to try and make a relationship work, then over time i became a bit tired of the game that earlier relationships became for me and the girl i was with at the time. soon i became distant from the game of love, and didnt want anything to do with it. but it all became apparent that i was not ready to just give up on love just yet. for a woman of spectacular similarity to the one i had seen in a dream when i was fourteen had made herself visible by means of classroom interaction. myself not really wanting to go about flitting my idiotic flirting attempts made no effort what so ever to talk to her. i just as much assumed that she had a boyfriend and was perfectly content with the circle of friends that she had.
i later realised, only after a small error of judgment on my part, that i was in fact falling harder and faster for this woman then any other in the past, and that i was only able to watch in the background as my thoughts took over and i did things i wasnt ready to deal with the conciquence of. through varios deterrents by friends of hers and…eventualy the deans of the college and my own attempts i was able to over come my mind and dark thoughts and retake controll of myself, and had to rebuild the respect i had lost from the horrifying ordeal. though i must admit something here and now. that i have not escaped without scratch or scar.
now with a new interest in the midst, i fear the same might happen all over again, that i would betray the trust i have worked so hard to gain by acting on the feelings presented to her, though we have become friends, i must be careful in the ways that i aproach her.
my theory is this, like bacteria to anti bacteria if you will, repeated exposure over time to any deterrent can force the subject or subject matter for that matter to evolve or change direction to better itself. though when a new entity or person is introduced, the subject will have learned from previos experience and have grown in time as well to either accept or reject that person in tis own ways.
in retro spect…things are going to get….a little bit interesting in the following weeks. wouldnt you say?