man oh man! welcome to enigmatts rants, im enigmatt and the little girl winking at the camera will tell you that she sees russia from her tea house. of course it relies mostle on the hubbles inability to see galaxys upclose with out raping the national budget. whyed we put a man on the moon for? golkf? why dont i beleive that? oh yeah, lol… its because every time bush opens his mouth, obama and mccain argue over stupid crap that would make lisa marree cry in her sleep while micheal jackson banged the cub scouts of america. jesus jiuce anyone?
so by this point youve got to be asking yourself this one extremely important question… because the world of polotics is just too fucking funy for eddie murphy to get it on with baby doll t shirts whil masterbating to doogey housers l’life on the road’. ”WHERE HAVE ALL THE COOKIES GONE?” yes thats right folks, for every ten dollars you give to me, ill not only not give it to charity, but ill spend it on porn.
myspace…this really chaps my ass, because i usually do these things on myspace and not word press. but ever since the google virus hit, and if you dont know what that s, then your more clueless then a half sober lionel richie beating the crap out of a metal pipe with his head. the google virus is a pain in myspaces butt. not only because it just turns your ass over to google, but it also messes up you hard drive like a little bitch. the fact that millions of teens everywhere are going to have fits of rage with wich the likes preschool teachers have never seen before because of this, is more then enough reason to just let them try to login. lol. mua ha ha… evil i am.
the vice presidential debates were more interesting to watch then a more brutal version of the three stogges marathon. ony because i was completely expecting palin to just fuck the whole thing up with her saying of “dont ya know?” “you betcha!” “i have respect for your argument” heres something i never really expected to happen though. in the last half of the debate, it went from two people intelligently attacking each other jugulars to..well… two slightly less intelligent people attacking each others jugulars. like we really needed another reminder of how fucked up they made indiana jones. they just raped his ass, over and over and over and over again. ALIENS DONT BELONG IN INDIANA JONES DAMNINt!!!!!!!
speaking of which, the presidential debates were a little less entertaining to watch then a bad porno being shot with crack heads shanking eah other in the pussys with rabid weasels. yeah… it was that bad. all in all the more hilerous versions were on cnn. that little line was just the most entertaining part of the whole thing. mccain spoke, line go down, obama speak, line go up! LOL! folks i hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but doesnt anybody NOT pay attention to the incredibly inept ranking of the stock market? or do we just like seeing marketeers run around screaming things like “OH MY FUCKING GOD WERE ALL GONNA DIE LIKE A BAD MOVIE REMAKE OF SOMETHING MORE HORRENDOUS THEN SEEING JOAN RIVERS ON TV!!!!!!” and that my friends is a fate wosre then death. because joan rivers will eat your childrens feet, then make them dance forever in a pit of broken glass made of discarded botox syringes.
to really see the horror of the new google virus, you have to get inside steve irwins head, then promptly run out screaming something the lines of ” FUCK THIS SHIT! IM WATCHING JOEY!” because folks, the inside of steve irwins head is nothing more then beastiality tapes, with him screwing a gecko and being the bitch in the relationship. in fact, i think i can hear him doing his chihuahua. i was asleep last night and amidst the fainting music that constantly complimented the rabid monkey balls, that constantly hammered away at the cheese bunkers mineral deposits. i was whisked away to a magical place where the only punishment in the world was getting sodomized by a blue whales dick in the ear. and most people dont live through something like that.
i found out that while perusing the dick cheney esque friend shooting videos, that humans as a whole are nothing more then god fearing idiots with rifles in our hands, waiting to be shot in the head by the god fearing idiot with a rifle in his hands, who happened to be standing right next to us telling us that his problem was firing the damned thing. like we really needed help figuring that out. there were far more sinister problems in the road to recovery, and im going to rant about that next. the road to fucking recovery. because she is hot and i would fuck her in the ass with the head of a baseball bat.
the raod to revorey in the econic crisis isnt merly something that the national debt wont decrease or reverse with. in fact, the national debt is a jewish reminder that we fucked over the britains when we declared ourselves tax exempt from there tea smacking ways, and formed our own little crackden in the world. the road to revery is merely a stepping stone to a world where black and whites and asian and arabs can get together for a nice game of “who the fuck killed the president this time?” because as we all know, bush needs to be attacked in the head with a five foot dildo and called a stupid mother fucker for getting a movie made about him and dick cheney having lunch together. can you fucking imagine that? bush and cheney eating lunch? I CANT BELEIVE THEY EAT LUNCH!!!!!!!
IF ANYTHING I COULDNT IMAGINE ANYONE with more gall or idiosy making a movie about one of the worst presidents in the united states. nay mr. bush, not only the states, the fucking world. because life itself cant be explained when youve got your head in other countrys asses. and maybe thats just what this country needs, another head to ass president who thinks he knows what the flying fuck hes doing. of course this can only be alleviated by the fact that more shows from the sixties are getting a face lift that would have mellissa richars screaming in fits of rage as well as physical shame. im sorry darling, but theres only so much plastic surgery you can do to that vagina of yours. and whatever you do, dont add fake eyes.