i know this is a tired subject and everyones had there way with this thing but…. balloon boy…. hes going down…. actually, not balloon boy, but balloon boys dad. what kind of money grubbing self centered bastard makes the whole damned us think that his kids in danger? i mean really? is it that hard to kinda see where things might not work out for the best? um lets see here: balloon, tv stars, wife swap (more like wife slap if you ask me) helium, and the media.
soundsl ike a good ol fashioned hoedown to me! lets just let cps decide how best to handle the mishandling of the whole fiasco? in my opinion, the dad should be…. ah hell, that not what im mad at… not by al ong shot. you want to know what really ticks me the fuck off?beaty pageants. more like self confidence issues on the part of these parents. for the longesttime now, ive had to worry about the mental state of the parents of these poor children. who better then to create the next generation of self depreciating bitches who reject nice guys then the parents, who by the way, lack any kinda of moral compass. i mena, just look at the damage that has been done to miss california and her special term “backwards marriage” wow…. yeah my thoughts exactly.
the media now a days loves a good celebrity beat down, especially when its between a pissy fat reality starlet from atlanta, and some douche apologize on tv to his daughter. the thing about this explosive disaster area, is the very fucking simple fact, that you do NOT call a skinny black ghetto woman with her own realty show, especially if shes from atlanta, fat. now, if you do happen to do it, make sure that you have plenty of people watching with camcorders so that way, when her jerry curled nappy do catches fire from the amount of heat your gonna be taking, to point and LAUGH.
now its been some time since… hold on, let me check the current omg section on yahoo… i know theres gotta be something…. john… and bitch… i mean kate. to me, the new version of a family realty show, has to be the one with the bulldog like dad and the mom who, by some miracle of existence, still has a vagina that the whole oakland raiders can go into or come out of. it all depends on how fast they go. i can just imagine it now, kate, far flung divorcee…. oh yes… that fucking youtube divorcee… who by some blatant irritant to the american public decides to rant and rave about “WHOA IS FUCKING ME! MY EX TRIED TO OVER TURN THE PRENUPTUAL AGREEMENT! AND FAILED! I FEEL BETRAYED… heres an idea, im going to go rant on youtube about it!”
the youtube divorcee, nay, anyone in particular who has the gal bladder and stomach, to whine and bitch on youtube about how their lives are soooooo much more painful because their british, and its not proper, and “oh ive got to go drink some piss blood poor tea!” well, excuse the fuck out of me your royal tamponess. since when did it become al ogical step to berate someone behind their back and then claim unfair play when he tried to turn over the prenup? hes not your husband anymore, hes his own man, if he wants to overturn the prenup with out having your ugly wrinkled ass bitch at him, then thats his business.
latley i havent been doing many youtube videos, though id absolutley love to go on a video spreee blasting the crap out of the fat guy who gets pissed easily because his chicken wasnt served to him AT A FUCKING WALMART! fucking assmuncher! thats a brilliant plan master cheif!
so for those of you who want to scar your children for the rest of their natural lives, just do the following: force them into situations where fat people are always complaining about why their lives suck, and more to the point, WHERE THE FUCK THEIR HAPPY MEALS ARE!?there arent very many oppertunities to get something golden on film… you know, like family moments, summer vacations, trips to grandmas, setting yourself on fire because the devil told you to do so? so why not take yourselves of the inelligent list at club life, and check yourself into the fucking insane asylum because apparently, thats where hollywood is heading.
im not one to complain (oh yes the fuck i am) about problems that arent my own, but since when did getting a happy meal, or even more to the annerexic point, getting something that tasted good ever become a crime? im a thin guy, and when i want to munch down on some good ol fashioned ground up cow between two paltry servings of wet fried wheat… i have to check the serving size on the menu because i would want to upset the FTA or the food tyrants of america, to think i was being unpatriotic. in fact, i think ill commit some FTA treason and wolf down a whole fucking box of cheetos because i fucking deserve that shit, and THIS IS FUCKING AMERICA DAMMIT!
so what have we possibly learned from all this:
1. beauty pageants are for the sad depressed parents who couldnt find a way to fullfill their dreams, so they took their mountain sized hairdos and the four year olds, and became tyrants of the stage. “remember, smile!”
2. JOHN AND KATES UGLY DIVORCE, IS NOT AS UGLY AS THE SKINNY UGLY AND FAT RETARDS IN “really disturbed housewives of atlanta” cause we all know that when it comes to top notch class, atlanta black women have got just enough to call the bumps on their chests breasts. lets just call them implants. their all flat chested she bitches from hell anyways. i mena, come on! look at the size of those fucking fake bright pink finger nails lashonda, tawniqua, and rashell have on!!!
3. the balloon boys parents are fucking brain damaged storm chasers whove had their heads stuck in the land of oz for far too long to realize that maybe having their kids near somethign that would in fact cause a stir, and have media draw their gaze towards the attention starved step children of a second rate reality show… justm ight not be the greatest thing ever.
4. kanye west is the king of douches, and brian “swine flu” q, is the shemale attention stealers bitch. nuff said.
5. angry fat people in a walmart mcdonalds are fucking funny when they done get their chicken strips.
6. the FDA are kinda like ralph lauren when it comes to food. everythings ok until someone gains a pound. and then their fired.
so until the next time i feel the simple need to spill my guts and annoy the crap out of several people, i bid you all adue, and highly encourage those that enjoyedm y rant to spread the link to this page aroudn. also, subscibing to my blog is a good thing as well.