The Marines revenge on a medic who gave him crabs.

“Ok, so, like, my girlfriend, Tracy, you know the one, the one with the Zergina? Yeah! That one, totally! Ok, so, anyways, like, she bought this cute little toy, which, OMG, totally ripped her apart!”

This is never a conversation you want your friends to have about you. especially after you thought using a Zerg Larvae as a sex toy was a great idea. No. It was not. Instead, your new infested ‘Zergina’ as it were, simply spreads filth and disease to whichever soldier decides to tread into its toothy, pulsating, growling and beady eyed hole.

Not like it was any different before, but still. It could’ve been avoided.

So remember folks, use a condom before ever use any thing that remotely resembles a Zerg, in ANY fashion, and stick it in a place where even though it Might have been enjoyable… is now nothing more than a place where even if ten thousand Ghosts called in nuclear strikes, and threw in a few psionic storms to boot, it would simply still be the worst smelling place in the Korpulu sector.

Condoms: protecting you from things worse then the back fat on your grandmas legs in the universe. Especially when that sex toy evolves into a raging Ultralisk who now knows the full and limitless terror of smelling like rotting fish, right as you’re using it. Tracy.

(Ad paid for by Tracy’s ex-boyfriend Carl, p.s. I want my CDs back.)

Posted via web from Short shit SC stories deemed

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