OMFG! Real life super heroes!? In NYC no less…. fucking Stan Lee.

Ok, I just read the most epic article about real life super heroes, in New York, and I’m not making this shit up. There are fucking crime fighters, besides the cops, in good ol NYC. The only place crime fighters ever seem to show up. Why? Who the fuck really knows at this point in juncter. Maybe it’s because of the way the media, and Hollywood in general perhaps… maybe Fox News, but let’s face it, they are literally the Legion Of Doom in the swamp with that Darth Vader helment thingy.

Here is the link to the article, but I might as well add them to potential characters to make cameos in my blog story where anything literally does and frequently is happening. Trust me on this. Anyways, I also wanted to look at Societies… I just spent the last two minutes figuring out how to spell that fucking word… need to add more screwed up types to our alreayd rich and fucking stoned mixing pot of delusional Human beings. Not that I’m complaining.

Maybe it’s because we feel that as a country, a patriotic, pedophilic priest protecting country, that if there is a need for it, we’ve otta fill it up like a porn stars mouth gets filled with…. cream. Yes cream, let’s not over think that last sentence. But maybe it’s because of movies like X-men, Spiderman, Sesame street, and Kick Ass apparently, that we believe we can actually do these kinds of things, with out actually hurting ourselves in the long run. Or maybe it’s simply because reality shows have taken over our very perception of how things are supposed to be. This says nothing of course, for when the TV execs plan on making a reality show about the camera guys that shoot reality shows. I mean, this could be something interesting, really ground breaking! Imagine the drama:

“Dwayne totally messed up that shot, and I was like, totally going to beat him down for it.”

Yeah, getting back to crime fighters. Look, I’m not complaining against them, although let’s be honest, there are going to be super villians that might spawn up because of this whole trend. Seriously, who wouldn’t enjoy that kind of attention. Hell, we already have movies about billionaire mechs, teen angst ridden vamps with glitter make up, emo batmen, jiuced up spider bite victims, and now, stupid teens getting famous on youtube for getting their own asses handed to them.

Life sure is getting interesting.

But let’s be serious for a moment. Don’t they realize that if they don’t protect their identy, that if they reveal their real names, the people they’re fighting against will FB up their families and friends and go after them? Don’t they realize that the police, who are already under staffed and over worked, will go after them as well for Vigilantism? There were only a few people I saw in that article I linked above that actually had masks. Masks are a good thing, they protect our real faces from crime causing creators… and now I sound like the guy from SuperFriends.

Mean while, Morgan’s left testicle became itchy, it was a problem! So he scratched that itch!

Yeah, I know, these people feel strongly about the crime going down in their places of residence (Fucking New York! Come on, Kentucky, give us a moonshine swiggin super hero that beats up people who have sex before marriage!)  So they want to do something about it. Im not enthused about the bright colors though. Although who knows, in a few years time we might have a Justice Leage of our own. Maybe the dude known as Dark Gaurdian doesn’t mind revealing his face, because then criminals will know not to fuck up his Starbucks order.

It happens,  AND THAT SHIT IS A FUCKING CRIME! I ORDERED A DAMNED LATTED WITH CREAM, AND NO FROTH! I GOT FUCKING FROTH! FROTH! I HATE FROTH!

Or maybe criminals will wise up and the smart ones will become Villians to these Heroes, and then Russel, everybodies favorite bulldog looking boss, will take them down one by one. Kinda like Wilson Fisk and a truck full of donuts.  Maybe they’ll evolve, mutate, and use their powers to commit even more horrendous crimes then just selling heroine on the street corner.

If people like Dark Gaurdian start squeezing these people down, then won’t that mean that criminals will just resort to Joker like tactics and start offing people left and right just to preserve their right to prosper illegally? Won’t this mean that Stan Lee will have in effect become to proprieter of real life super heroes? And won’t the Si Fi channel regret ever making the show “Who wants to be a super hero?” because let me tell you something:

One day, these people will take down the wrong person in an alley, and the next day, they’ll read about the ringleader killing off a member of their family for revenge. First there will only be small scale crimes, drug sellers killing off people in their turf, gangs members doing more drive bys, and people getting stuck with aides. Fucking aides with their damned Blackberrys and their snide looking sun glasses.

And then they will get gradually bigger and bigger until these people need to step up their game to the next level. There will be Politicians against this, there will be newspapers rallying against these people, who only want to do good in their neck of the woods. I think the best thing these real life crime fighters can do, is get together and pool their resources and buy a place to live together and make the first ever branch of crime fighters, that aren’t police, or Hitler book reading Militias.

I hope they remember the old Uncle Ben saying “With great power, comes still greater responsibility.”

Fucking New York. Why the fuck are they so damned lucky? The High Desert needs some fucking super heroes.

Posted via web from The mind of Morgan James Gavin

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