some interesting thoughts

I have this theory about… well, everything. The theory states that the butterfly effect (Something that starts off as a small gesture having a much broader effect as time goes on) not only changes events, but also chains them together. I know it’s not a very solid theory, nor very well founded… but I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the very nature of the universe. I guess that’s just me being too random… or maybe not.

Truth is, I can’t very well pin point the nexus of everything that’s happened to me in the last ten years. So many things depending on so many little factors or nuances that normally I’d have missed. I don’t really think there is a point to this, but I guess that I do owe you at least one long winded rant, speckled with trace amounts of what is fact, or what is fiction.

 In truth I’m simply lost in my own mind. Not too lost in this torrential storm of thoughts, memories, feelings, and other things that I can’t put two and two together. But just enough to where I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Or maybe it isn’t… who knows anymore Dad. The simple truth is, is that the simple truth, when magnified to see what makes it so simple, isn’t very simple at all. I think Humans in general just seem to lump the very things they don’t understand together, and see what comes out.

I have been very successful at this I think. lumping things together that might’ve been a good idea at the time, then realizing the penultimate truth that Humans in general, or what we think is in general, are some sort of freaky misunderstanding that continues to live despite all odds (which in my opinion, is a very good thing.) At this point, if you are still reading, not confused by what I’m trying to get at, and somewhat amused by my thoughts, I congratulate you. If not… yeppers, that’s just my mind  at work.

 I have all these interesting theories about life, or advancements in technology, or medicine, or even of what we could learn about ourselves, had we the proper technology to do so.

But these thoughts are nothing more than maybe ten or twelve seconds at most, or even a tenth of that. I try not to dwell on things that I need to dwell on, and I also seem to dwell on things that I don’t need to dwell on. It makes for some very interesting inner dialogues, I’ll tell you that much.

Three months. I’m having second thoughts about sending this, partly because I know that if I send this, then a torrent of other things will happen that I won’t know about, and sooner or later it would come back to me (as it should). But I also want to send this because I have so many thoughts I want to share with you, so many different things that might give you an idea, even in the least what kinds of things I’ve been up to, how I’ve grown, what I’ve had to deal with and what not.

The head ache never goes away, it’s always there between both of my brain lobes, right in the middle, almost like a tiny pressure pushing outwards. I like to believe that it’s just stress or some other explanation that I can’t really think of. At the same time, I think it’s something that I hope it’s not. Cause that would kinda suck, and I still have a lot of work to do in my lifetime before my light bulb burns out on me.

The problem with whats going on mentally with me (Not depressed, also, if you’ve continued reading to this point, grab yourself a cookie. Or something else that you highly enjoy snacking on. Or just give the dog a good scratch behind the ears.). I dream the most fascinating dreams that simply blow my mind, while I can remember them. Dreams that help me better under who I am under all this intelligence, bravado, and anything else that I can’t think of.

I’ll close with this, and share this with my ‘lil brothers and sisters if you want. It’s not really a requirement, but I think it would be nice. once again, up to you. Of all the memories of us spending time together, the one that is at the top of the pile, is the one where we’re fishing together, and I caught that one fish… I can’t seem to remember what its called. Or was called as is the case with past/present/future tense. I think that was my favorite.

I miss you Dad, I miss everyone. (Once again, not depressed). I Should’ve kept this thing a little shorter… must be something like two or three pages… maybe a page and half… never mind, probably just went to two with this last sentence.

Love you Dad and love you my ‘lil siblings. Be good to each other.

Posted via web from The Smiling Dr. 3 Arms thoughts

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