oi vey do i have a lot on my mind, but know me, i will probably to get to maybe one or two of them at most. alright, well, here goes.
have you ever found yourself wondering the major what ifs? like what i got my life together? what if i had shown a bit more back bone? what if my damned dog didnt fart all the fucking time while im writing a blog? its always something to note that no matter what choices i make in my life, i might be stuck in the same situation, forced to endure the same thing day after day after day, in a never ending cycle of “oh fuck not this thing again?”
well it just so happens thats what im in at the moment. i tried everything i could think of to break up the monotony of it all. writing, singing, jamming with random people, flirting, having sex, getting a girlfriend, and trying to become famous on youtube. yeah like thatll ever happen, lol.
i guess when it all comes down to it, there are a nessicity of things that i will always have want for. like my own place, a steady job, and a desperate need to get rid of any and all anxiety about writing things that may or may not piss people off, as well as another lack of caring to follow through on something. no folks im not drunk, just not caring at the moment.
although i must say this, and im never sure why i do this, nor will it ever really make a bunch of sense to me why in gods green and brown with a splash of blue earth, do i put myself through the same hell over and over again, just to end up with the same result. am i insane? am i boring? am i a god of sex?
the answers to those three great questions will always be maybe, never, and always. why? because like ever other hot blooded american guy, i will most of the time when im alone, be standing at attention, desperatley trying to figure out the greatest question of them all.
what is my actual purpose in life?
and for those long time readers who have stuck with me from the beginning of my blog, witnessed my semi insane side through the dark times of kim, toiling through the dramas and the unexpected plots of sarah and heena, and the slight slide towards comepletely fucking out of my gourd during my drunken raves. i have this to say.
the prodigal son hath returneth.
and why of all things do i say it like that? well folks, lets be honest with ourselves here. im not getting any younger and like memorizing a script, the only real way to get through the nervousness of asking women if they would like to have lunch with you, is to just fucking ask.
im well aware of my situation and much to the displeasure of bill, I WILL NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. nor do i plan to, so shut the fuck up yourself butterball, because i will say whatever the fuck comes to my mind to get that oh so precious reaction from people. why?
i am completely unsatisfied with my life, and rather then bitch and complain about it, i will just ride the gravy train to insanesville while eating a bowl of pork rinds.
and you all realize that while there are bits and peices of fluff, there is a very very real messege here. what that messege is? find it out for yourselves.