Alright my little hob nobbers… lets light this shindig on fire with the power of youth!

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Since this blog is PRETTY MUCH written while on a coffee ride of fucking hell, I might as well spill the beano on everything that crosses my mind! I was thinking about what special move set Mr. Bean would have, but then I realized how UTTERLY fucked up that concept was since I was obviously overlooking the fact that I had lost focus on the blog novella core point.

Which, was the creative aspect of it all. I think somewhere in chapters 4 or 5 I just kinda exploded with creativity, I was flinging weird assed moves left and right. And that got me thinking about how much weirder it would be if Mr. Bean was totally like “rainbow fart monkey surprise!” OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I MEAN, HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU top something like that!?

imagine, youre just standing there, and this mugger comes up behind you and whispers something like that. He’d be all, “rainbow fart monkey surprise cake!” and then he’d beat the crap out of you while you were comprehending something like that.

Its pure genius I tell you. That’s why I love writing the series so much because I get to really push the limits of what types of insanity I can unleash in there.

Speaking of insanity, I’ve been trying like crazy to get my blog contributor numbers up. Now obviously I don’t think of any of them like that, they each have their weird little uniqueness about the way they write that just kind of really hits the nail on the head. I know, I know… I could be doing better things with my time. Then again, why should I?

… I can’t believe I just wrote that! I cannot believe that… Yes I can believe it. Why? Because when your minds going four thousand miles a fucking minute, theres not much to consider in all the blender of monkeys… wow. and here comes the crazy… like two minutes ago.

Okay. Lately, I’ve been holding something back from you all! And that’s just not cool of me at all. I love you all, but there are some of you that just scare the shite out of me. I don’t mean to point out eyes or pick noses, but let’s face it. Sometimes the past just pops up, slaps your mouth with a tuna, and sings “Wild Willies Wet Wonderful Wobble Works”

I don’t even know what the shite to say anymore. It’s like a demented version of Tiny Tim going fucking nuts inside my head, DEMANDING HIS JELLY PUDDING! And I keep telling him, “NO! ITS EITHER JELLY, OR PUDDING! NOT F’DUCKING BOTH!” And then he wishes me a merry Christmas and then I tell him to stop mooning the shiny faced Hollywood bathhouse people. Because let’s face it, they don’t like it anymore then I do. And I don’t. But that whole thing was just a piff of my imagination getting out of hand.

Ah Slick, Slick, Slick…. Where and what the shillings can we say about everyone’s favorite cupcake box repairman turned red wagon racer? Nothing. There’s nothing to be said because Slick’s just not important anymore. Is it true that while certain parties outside of my current knowledge allege to have called him a psychopathic manipulating little football kisser…

Who knows? Because that wasn’t me, it was certain parties that are outside of my current sphere of knowledge. But at the same time, who really knows anymore?

I KNOW! No I don’t know I know what other seem to think I know… but didn’t realize I knew till they told me I know what they thought they knew first before they know. They knew what I know they know! This means that they know everything I didn’t know plus a little that I did know before knowing that no one knows what they knew to begin with! And that made the people who knew they knew they know that I know they knew, very mad because they know I know that they knew something first. And before that, some other person told me they know I know they knew that he knew they know. But no one really knows anything that they knew previously, or people would’ve known to know that I knew they know!

So how could people who claim to know knew!? It’s just a series of people knowing things others did or didn’t know or thought they knew!

Ah mysteries… who knew!?

I bet there’s a person out there trying to read, cursing himself up and fucking down the damned road. Not because we actually thought he knew something. I AM NOT GETTING IN THAT CYCLE OF THOUGHT AGAIN! It’s all really distracting from the news.

Wait… What? Speaking of the news, this whole Anthony case of the drowning baby is kinda off. I mean, on one hand, you have to try and believe a chronic liar’s innocence may be nothing more thatn a far-fetched polotical grab at a moment of political power! Or it could simply be Anthony Wieners wiener winning the wiener eating contest. Wow, I get back into the habit really quickly don’t I?

 The truth of any matter is that we try and not bug others too much. And then we have the British press, who make their EVERY FUCKING WAKING GOD DAMNED MOMENTS DESIRE TO PISS PEOPLE OFF IN NEW AND DESIRABLY LESS TOLERABLE WAYS! Why must they go so far!? Don’t they realize their just a bunch of failed rugby players with less mass in their crotches than Paris Hilton’s music video!?

Oh, did I go too far!? NO I DID NOT! The mass in Paris Hiltons crotch needs to be investigated! And if I find out that she has another compartment where she stores her army of demented tiny dogs with huge eyes, someone’s getting a mean spirited but well-wishing birthday card in the mail! TAKE THE EFFING CARD AND HAVE A HAPPY EFFING BIRTHDAY! MAY ALL YOUR EFFING WISHES COME TRUE!

True Blood is back and so is Big Brother. What they really need to do is combine Vamps and realty shows/mass media stalkers, and have a bit of fun! Yeah… and my mind is slowly going to shit because all this thinking is giving me a headache! But, did you know that within the mighty torrential maddening storm of my thoughts that there was always a straight line of thought in each of these paragraphs!?

I’ll give you a shiny wood nickel if you can figure out what it is.

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