the stronger the coffee, the better my aim.

Folks, it has been my newest and most fun pleasure at annoucning the branches of my blog tree which each have their own unique thoughts on many subjects. Some more pronounced than others, but unique all the same.

But before we get into this loving confection of hate inspired dribble which would make Mr. Anderson Cooper take off his black shirt in shame and indignity, let’s reflect on perhaps the one topic that everyone else except me is talking about.

Slick is old hat.
Unfashionable.
Wrong in every light that is not florecent.
Why?
He’s an utter dingbat.
Lets never speak of him again.

Folks, S have sought long and hard to reach every facet of the world, even if it might be just for only a few seconds. Now I realize that some of the things I’ve said or written have been a little off kilter, then again, its nothing like News of the World’s phone hacking suicide note in their final edition. Like it or not, these guys have… Oh, I’m not sorry, had, been in the Rags buznitch for more than some of us have been alive. Simply scathing by on whatever meal ticket happened to flash her crotch jungle at the cameras.

Oh happy days.

Look, outside of the fact that 268 people lost their jobs in what the idiots thought was a secure position, they deserved to get the axe in the public eye. More than deserve it for hacking into a dead girl’s cell and fucking with a investigation. Life goes on people, and since the rotted to the core british rag mags are already rotted to the core of their core, we don’t have to worry about missing the old fuckers pages. Frankly, I don’t give a damned about them, and surprisingly, neither do the ravenous papers that dared called themselves rivals.

I’m just saying.

Recently, I linked every blog I have to feedburner to get some hits out there in net land, and to be honest, I love what I’m seeing. India and Australia, keep kicking ass, Africa needs to get in there, or you’ll miss some distracting news. Mainly cause there really isn’t any to be read, I just like the feeling that the land of the spitting camels paying attention to something other than the stupid insane chaos going on over there.

I realize that not EVERY square inch of the birthplace of humanity is filled with fake princes, jungle living gangs, crushing poverty, and the aids virus, but come on Africa, you have got to get with the program! Your approval rating means shit, your seat in the UN is nothing more than Britians holding space for backed up orders of fish and chips, and someone in the translation booths swearing in languages you haven’t even heeard of.

Kudos on the potential aids cure, hope it goes well for you.

Middle East, you confused, seemingly interesting place that is somehow less dangerous for white dudes in tanktops than Mexico… what can I say? Nothing. Thats what I’ll say.

Britain, Europe, and Scottland, play nice or I’m calling all your parents. Ireland, stop drinking so much damned beer, I looked in the fridge and where the fuck is my Miller!?

Out of love for the world, I do plan on flipping someone off, and that flipping of the bird goes to douchebag owner…. former owner, of News of the World. You know that first issue of the NoW? I’m wiping my ass with it.

ONTO MATTERS a little bit more important than whatevers going on in the world. A kindly old message to Slick:

1. When you have your interns gf in the car and their telling you how they met, don’t cut her off midstory to talk about your ‘habit’ making the rest of the conversation about what you want it to be about.

2. When palling around with your intern, always remember that the joke might’ve been funny the first 10 times, but after a while, it gets old faster the a fruit fly.

3. Getting mad at your intern because he’s a chipper person is stupid.

4. When your intern makes does something to help your relationship, don’t treat him like crap because he did so.

5. Paying your intern for the work he does is a good idea, as is giving him positive feedback on any ideas he has on raising money.

6. Eating potstickers and watching American Dad, while enjoyable, kills productivity really fast.

7. The most important thing I learned from interning for Slick was that if you text someone really loudly, it usually doesn’t work.

Though its been a month of two since the canning, THANK FUCKING GOD, I like to remind myself of why I quit working for him. Also, never visit a site run by a dude who broke his own phone while trying to fix it. Simple truth folks, nothing more.

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