and im going off the rails of this crazy train!

Folks, I am pleased to be back in the international spotlight… however small it may be at the moment. I want to take a minute and talk about change for a minute, change is a very important part of the countries life style, and i know Australia’s going to get a little pissed at me for mentioning their origins, but hey, you have to aknowledge the ugly truth sooner or later. Just look at China and the old woman running it.

Autralia, as many of you may or may not know, started out as a prison colony for people who did stupid crimes, like eat bread, flip off a powdered wig, and so on. The expedition was led by Captain James Cook, who by all acounts, I thought was a more frilly verion of Captain Hook. SMEE!

Anyways, these people were from Britain orginally, and after a few generations of wierd evolution, Australia was born. And naturally, it hates Britian with a passion that can only be matched in a single word:

Bugger off.

Okay, I lied, two words. The point is that good ol Aussie, land of five billion things that might kill you out of boredom, has grown from something unrecognizable, into a place that’s a little bit more recognizable. Mainly because of Uluru, the big, pretty, red rock in the middle of the desert.

Africa, take notes, and start burrying those damned mummies, I’m tired of tripping over them.

Mipples.
Mummy nipples. Why did I write that? It doesn’t matter. Look, we’re all afraid of change, but the States president, Obama, yes I’m an idiot for assumming you didn’t know that already, brought change with him. It turned out into a horrid debacle of something more recognizable than good ol Aussie.

We brought the Muppet Babies into existence, and now we have to take them out.

Of Las Vegas.

What was I going on about? Who knows, let’s just enjoy the thought process here a bit shall we? Now lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and most likely, that line of thinking has brought me into the realization that there isn’t a point. That’s a point to there being no point. Because there’s no point, that point doesn’t mean its not a point’s antipoint. Confused? Good, you’re meant to be.

The reason I bring up points and change and god knows what else is that we as a species must start working together instead of against each other. No, I’m not talking about the damned U.N, because if we wanted to get world peace out of those fucking ballerinas, we would’ve gotten it already.

No, the change I’m talking about comes from the average person, oppressed or not. You all remember the women driving incident that popped up? That’s what I’m talking about, we need to slowly change the way we do things.

“But its too hard”

Really Middle East? And fighting for thousands of years wasn’t? Now’s the time to let go of old hatreds, mend the fence of friendship and get on with our lives. The Middle East is the only thing thats preventing us from gaining world peace. I’m not a polotical analyst, and fuck you prats who think I’m trying to be one, I’m simply saying that the rest of the worlds like a line of drunk people at a rock concert, waiting to use the only porta potty, and the Middle East is in there with a butthole slammed shut and ten pounds of char broiled, deep fried, violent gas inducing constipation. And their making us wait.

“Why should I? The government will tell us what to do!”

Stupid sheeple. Stupid, stupid sheeple. Mainly China. Yes China, the volkswagon being driven by a tiny old woman with no booster seat. The silent, polite, refugee beating, most made fun of place on the face of the planet. I’m sure you all have your own problems to deal with, such as over population, media, web, and personal censorship, and basically a mafia like persona. Gotta love them. It’s no wonder why you guys are all over the place, your in the right lane driving for the left, and then your speeding in a slow lane. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

You guys and gals need to find out the proper wages to be paid because you guys are paying five hundred bucks for A FUCKING CANDY BAR!

“But-“

Shut hte fuck up.
Grow the fuck up.
Get over yourselves planet Earth.

If we keep letting idiots in shiny suits tell us what to do, then what are we really living for?

Yes, there are fun things to do, fun places to go, and lots, and lots, and LOTS of weird kinky sex to be had by people who are into that sort of thing. But seriously, we’ve been around for a few thousand years in first gear, I think it’s time we upshifted to fourth and get this party started.

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