is it me, or does it seem like everything i post on facebook just goes back in my face like some sort of doomsday device? i mean seriously. i get dumped by my fiance, say everythings fine, but it really isnt. yes, theres the intitial fiegned super overness about me. the strong energized bs that usually happens when stupid shit happens for no apparent reason other then it really fucking wants to mess up someones day.
especially on christmas. boy oh boy. has this devolved into a forced, robotic, photo op to show just how much gooder (fuck you. i used it. its a word.) we were then the rest of us. crammed into a badly angle shoot, the plastic smiles on our faces revealing nothing of the stupid contempt we each feel about different aspects of everything, and the fake laughter and claps of happiness that go along with it.
the people in the frame go through the gifting process with little to no emotion, and sooner or later, someone always fucking snaps like a frost bitten candy cane dropped off the sky scraper. the filming stops, the bitch fest flag flies, and its pretty much open season from then on.
once again, boy oh boy. christmas is fun.
after the dust settles, the camera repositioned, and the fake happiness plastered back onto the almost tightly controlled actions, the play begins yet again. one person knowsjust how fake the whole thing is and wishes for a time where stupid comments would just be kept to themselves during the festivities.
another person, finding everything back into their little corner of order, is truly happy. the third person, sits like a bump on a log trying to figure out several different ways to secretly fuck this thing up for the first person. yay. this is getting good.
hence the bringing up of facebook posts. wow! old shit no one cares about being brought, kicking and screaming, into a place no one really wants to talk about it, on a day where THERE WILL BE HAPPINESS where we like it or not! lmao. this is the truest depiction of what life can be a lot like at times.
and then it jut hits the fan, the one person tries defending himself, while the other two people just ram him down, stating that they shouldnt be getting calls from people wondering whats going through that persons mind.
after a while, things are calm, not like the first time though, theres a stupid underlying tremor boiling. the first person can feel its rapid rise. the second person casually mentions it with a hint of glee, like a older brother ratting out its younger for a casual thing said.
this is fun. really, no where on this planet is there anyone having more fun on christmas then me. not because i use the word fun like its intentional use, but because the word fun, literally translates in Fucking Unholy Nuts. let me reiterate that for stupid people everywhere.
you see it? because, normally, id blow off the whole “how dare you post your own thoughts on FB where were connected” bit. really, i would. but the whole relationship bit is still a wee bit sour, raw, and stretched beyond the point of not giving a crap. shit gets raised, fans start blowing, and the person simply stands out of the way, only to be pushed back into it.
look, im not looking for trouble. im done with trouble, its primarily the reason i try as much as possible to stand in the fucking house, or in my room. its not because im being antisocial, nooooo no no no! its simply to remove the problem area out of the equation, so that everyone else can feel like they can stop walking on eggshells!
the problem area, being me, who just seems to make everything worse for wear, by simply talking about whats on my mind. thats about it. talking, writing, or recording and posting… whatso n my mind. yep. thats why everyone looks at me like im some sort of freak of literary nature because i dont hold bback, and they dont like that!
not one bit. so they either scheme or plot or plan something that to outsiders seems like any normal situation, but in reality, is designed specifically to trigger a unavoidable response from me that opens up a small area of attack, and then they go for it. not out of sheer planning, but simply because i chose to open my mouth and let the dogs fly!
mwa ha ha! evil sociological genius at word! EVERYBODY ELSE WINS! ONLY I LOSE! CONSTANTLY! sometimes i think to myself, “morgan, youre just going about your life in the almost same way that many people do, that really arent afraid to let loose. why do people not like you!?”
and my only reply to that thought is this. “people are fucking idiots if they dont allow themselves to speak their mind in a country that proudly touts freedom of speech.”
but im getting off topic here. really i am. the focus being:
“they see me rollin’
oh yeah, to top it off, any kind of conoling talk that tries to happen afterwards, instantly, without much fear of treading hard on thin ice, becomes “you hurt us because of what you posted, you annoying jackass, how dare you.”
thats pretty much it. christmas – (post break up stress X stress relief) + interesting gifting videos = F.U.N