oh dont hate me just yet… now hate me.

okay, for those of yo utuned in, im fucking hyper. i wish i were getting some ass, but thats besides the point entirely. for those that are following this blog outside of the usual methods, i am single again. no longer attatched to the daft and bewildered eyes of some slightly dick pokerish woman, nor a emotionally drained man,free at last, free at last, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY free at last!

but can we REALLY call what ive been in for the last 6 months a relationship? can we really? in certain aspects, yes. we can. but in other aspects, and follow the bouncing ball on this one folks, because lets face it, poking my dick every once in a while and then doing it again after i told her not to, and not really GOING anywhere as such. yes we did hang out at the joneses, eat a few meals outside the complex, and go square dancing. twice. but that was the extent of our relationship to be honest. it was either travel troubles, worrying about being outside the complex after dark, or some other reason which at this point, i am ENTIRELY too lazy to get into.

folks, i mean this with the greatest respect a guy can have for a exgirlfriend at this point. this last relationship tops the list of crappy relationships ive had in my life. yes. we did have fun, we did make some memories, and in most cases, we DID, past tense, love each other. 

but as with everything good and gooey in the world, we fought a lot. argued, debated, she wanted my attention when it was directed at something much more important, like oh say, getting little ones calmed down for the night. and best yet, and ive been REALLY patient with this one, she is constantly on her phone talking with a friend who, according to her, doesnt have any friends. except the one calling her. 

now, this is a rant. im frustrated, this is the internets where freedom of speech is a valuable thing and i should not be afraid to use it to vent my frustrations the only way i know how. so suck it.

the ting was, it was starting to fall apart LONG before i noticed it was falling apart. like three months into the relationship. right after the jon/christie drama, she started nit picking me about my job. according to her, it’s not a REAL job. what is a REAL job? sign waving? texting all day? trying to balance the level of crazeh that slaps your mind sore every waking moment of your life?

im a published writer. 
i shoot, edit and produce videos.
i am head of three companies, one of which was founded by the joneses.
if anything, SHE needs to get a real job, stop bitching about how shes worried about money and learn to fly out of the fucking nest instead of relying so much on the charity of others.

am i pissed? yes. you couldn’t tell already? im super pissed. the night it happened, i wanted to write, the next night same hting. it HAS taken me THREE/3/TRES daysto write this fucking thing, thats how pissed i am about this whole thing.

the horrid thing about it? I thought it was going to work, that eventually something was going to change, either through her volition, or my own. but nothing. nothing changed, nothing grew, it was a relationship dud.

It was pretty much a rerun of the same episode relationship wise, and im not throwing all the blame on her,  it was partly my fault for not trying hard enough or some other bullshit like that to help shred myself to at least give her a fighting chance.

the juan thing was the straw that broke the camels back though. we worked SO FUCKING HARD ON THAT SON OF A BITCH! We gift wrapped that asshat for them in the disks, so her family, after stating they wanted in, backs the fuck out after i give them the evidence which makes me question why the fuck were doing this shit, if NOTHING EVER GETS DONE!

At least tell me the reasons why youre backing out, dont just push the job back onto me without much a reason. and to top it off, jess thinks that praying going to help change juans behaviour. its not. melissa and i tried to tell her that, explain to her in a way that made sense, but no. something got through, but it was fucking guttersniped.

the thing i REALLY dont get about the women i get into relationships with is this, the ones that ARE visibly interested in me, I pass them over, admittedly with the most insane reasoning that maybe i’ll find a better packaged one out there. only to find out that the better packaged ones are the deluxe models with a few screws loose.

is that being a fair and unbiased view point? fuck no it isnt, this isnt a news blog, im venting my fucking frustrations here, you expect fair and unbiased, go watching fucking fox news where they lie out their fucking asses to help the republican party with whatever they need help with.

the point of the matter is that the relationship was sick, weak, and it needed to be killed off at some point. do i feel guilty because of what the effects might be on her, a little guilty. but on the other hand, fuck it. i need to look out for my own sanity first and foremost, and if shits not working out, and im not talking about getting it on every time were together, then somethings gotta give. fuck editing.

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