Missing in action… Or my lack of getting action.

This’ll be a short post, and it’s pretty much to the point. Is there a point where sex just stops looking attractive? I guess for me, it has. Hi, I’m Billy Mays, and fuck Oxyclean!

I guess ever since my ex fiance left for the final time, I just haven’t been as interested in getting laid as much. Or at all, for that.  I mean, it still interests me, but I don’t really have a drive to go get laid. Maybe it’s low testosterone in my system, or just one really long dry spell. Dunno really. I seem to have it in my gead that a relationship is requiered to have sex. I know there’s other options, like casual sex or hookers, but I kinda feel like I’d rather be with someone that makes me happy and vice versa in order to have it.

Yes, I’ve had a few casual encounters, but those were just attempted foreplay that didn’t really go anywhere. Meh, tired of being single, but at the same time, I’m kinda nervous about tryng to find another girlfriend. It’s not bothering me as much as I thought it would… But it would be nice to have a nice woman over during the holidays and some weeks inbetween.

Here’s looking at you kid.

Of Mice and Mentality, or, screw that noise, I wanna watch Spongebob!

Okay, this past week has been a bit of a blur for me, so let’s start off with a topic everyone can agree to:


They’re arguing about sandwich shops. Please god, let them be arguing about sandwich shops!

so, everyone’s still bugging out about Ben Affleck being a horrible, nightmare inducing, more terrifying than a flying bottle to Justin Beiber’s head, rage terror inducing choice for the next Batman. Because if anyone is more suited to play the Dark Knight, it’s the dude who starred in Giggli… giggly… WTf the movie is.


Say it with me, “I am the night! I am justice… I… Am… Affleckman!”

So, outside of that trauma inducing choice, because you and I both know that with Affleckman cast in the new Affleckman v Supergigli Movie, there will be blood!


Sparkly, sparkly blood!

But… More subjects of conversatin’ await than just the horrid nightmare’s of Cinema, I’ve gotta talk about what the hell is going on in my own life, because Society can kiss my hairy red Haduken:


Or… Just, y’know, whatever the hell screaming nightmare this came from.

Lately, things have been super crazeh:

MY EYES! DEAR GOD, MY EYES!

Because the (Yes, let that image sink in.) semester is quickly wrapping up in more ways than one, I’ve yet to do any actual work for the class outside of hoping beyond hope that our groups presentation is good, if not better then an Avengers movie with all the worst possible actors being cast as all of the characters in the next Avengers movie… Or y’know… a My Little Po-


WHICH ONE IS THOR!? WHICH MOTHERFUCKING ONE!? IS THE MIDDLE ONE APPLEJACK!?

Not surprisingly, me finding my blogging spirit again has been a pretty awesome experience, getting in touch with my inner Internet fueled Rage Demon has given me a bit of a new view point on everything, from class schedules, dating, avoiding trouble, and of course, venting whatever pent up frustratins I have against whatever is ticking me off at the moment. which, considering all possibilities, I’ve been pretty calm in regards to socializing, as well as just getting the presentation done.

However, there are a few gripes I’ve got to take care of-


I-I-I… My inner child is screaming bloody murder and cookies. Yes, that’s a real recipe.

However, thanks to previously mentioned Prayer Circle, things are looking up, mostly because I’ve just been not looking for dates/girlfriends/Slash Cosplayers:

It’s a TRAP, I mean, Chimichanga!

but we’ll see how everything starts to pan out. I need to get my classes organized for next semeser, and I’m actually looking forward to it. My folks are slowly hinting that I need to get a steady paycheck going, and for the most part I agree. Though the author gig is awesome…


I sometimes need to hit the writers block with a Hammer and scream, “Run, damn it!!! Just run away!”

Anyways, I feel I’ve got things in the bag now, though I’m feeling a little like-


AAAUUUUGH, MY EYES!


MAKE THE BLEEDING STOP! MAKE IT STOP, FOR GOD’S SAKE!


WHY DOES THIS NOT HELP ANYTHING!?

Holy Hot Women Batman!


So today was pretty interesting. Despite getting a stick chucked at my knee spear style, walking with a lsight pain in my knee for a few miles, and making an awesome Chili-Noodle Surprise, oh yeah, and getting the full 25 points for The Observation ’cause mah Teacher is epic like that, those weren’t the chart toppers today. Nope, Today, we’re talking Prayer Circles.

Boom. Feel that? Of course you didn’t, because if there are three things the Internet is powered by, (Nerd Rage, Cat Videos, and Anonymous), Prayer circles aren’t one of them.

Yup.

I got to take part in a prayer circle by chance. Seriously, I had just celebrated getting my Student ID back with a trip to the 99cent store and I made an epic Chili Noodle Surprise, heretofor renamed as “Epic Meal Time Super Stomach Punch Attack!” I passed a group of women holding hands. ‘This,’ I thought to myself, was an unusual sight to behold. I had been on campus for near eight or nine years, give of take the five year hiatus, and not once in all my meanderings, had I ever come across a Prayer Circle. Ever.

It was almost as rare as seeing a midget in a rascal, if not rarer, since I happen to be a fan of Genetic Abnomalities of the Heighth Persuasion…. Or G.A.H.Ps. that’s right internet, I, Dr. 3 Arms, Love Golden Astronauts that Hide Ponies. Deal with it.

First selfie in space. You can’t see the duckface, thank god.

but it was an interesting thing. I got to talking with them, put my sacred Chili-noodle soup down for a few minutes, and joined hands with Amy and Raquel, and we just did it, man. Wasn probably a weird experience at first, but I started things off with a general prayer, and everyone pretty much daisy chained the hell out of it from there. Pretty good experience.

Kinda like this ball of AWESOME!

All the Pretty Shiny People!

Calvin and Hobbes theory proved right, Snowmen are attacking, and only our Sun can stop them!

So, here we are again, ammiright? I am right, so stop shuffling your internet feet and watch the fun unravel! So a whle back, there was this gal that apparently had the hots for me, I the same, and things didn’t work out. I got a talking to, and things worked themselves out again. Now, knowing me from my other blog posts, you’d be thinking that I went batshit crazy, right? Nope. I kept my cool, stayed the fuck away from her, and just did my usual cool guy thing. Which is writing, I somehow forget what the hell I am actally writing about. Anyways, one of my friends has this awesome skill called finding random cute women, and introducing them to me, fun times, covered that in a previous post somewhere! Yay! Also, there’s this:

Obamacare, blah blah, something wicked this way might come, but thank god you’ve got Healthcare to cover that freaky tattoo thing that one guy does.

Back to the topic at hand. So I regularly write parts of Sogno Della Dinistia in the ATB, and now, more recently, started writing blogs, fun stuff. Anyways, over the course of the semester, the gal in question, who shall remain nameless, is kinda getting creepy close to whereever theh ell I sit, which is always a different spot. but I just keep ignoring her and act like she doesn’t exist. which is a good thing I guess. But, for the most part, I don’t not like her, I just don’t want to talk to her anymore, which is what I’m not doing, the talky part.

that gripe aside, there’s this:

Health scare, Are your hotdogs secret plotting your downfall?

More often than naught, fun word to write out, I have all of these weird little assemblisms that don’t quite make to paper, internet based or regular tree based, you pick the poison. But for the most part, they aren’t really all that interesting. I would try to spice things up, but you know how it goes! Ammiright? Course I am! Yay for exclamation points! I’m getting into that weird little mode where my thoughts are just psilling out now, because forget the sane path of doing things! Why… Anyways, the semesters coming to close, got the Presentation part, my little contribution to it anyways, taken care of, so now I can somewhat relax and enjoy the fruits of my not-doing-so-much labors! Speaking of which:

Army of Dutch, Rainbow colored squirrels launch offensive at peanut factory! News at eleven!

Have to keep things interesting now, don’t know why. On a side note, I haven’t really worked on my Book of blogs much lately, nor said Book of songs, which I’ve been slowly getting back in the habit of writing thosel ittle bastards on a group I’m apart of, so far so good! But more or less, my attempt at writing something with some barriers in it, “This is the Way the World Ends”, over on Wattpad.com has kinda hit a moot point. I love writing weirdly short stories, but more often than not, I’m just too damned busy. hold on a tick:

Real Lightsabers, how they can help you shave off those extra pounds!

Anyways, like I’ve said, I’ve been a little bitb usy trying to get SDD written so that way, I havem ore time to focus on writing, “The Dorikame Saga: Terrahology”, the Fourth title in The Dorikame Saga series. Speaking of which, go to amazon.com right the frathnic now, and get your copies of the first two Titles in the critically acclaimed book series by yours truly and his bestest bud, Blake Frazee, “Birth of Change” and “Broken Omen”, Both titles are available fopr under 20 bucks! Broken Omen was released a few weeks back, and for the lack of advertising that we’ve done for it, it’s gathering a little bit of an audience, slowly but surely, things are happening!

Then there’s this:

Calvin and Hobbes theory proved right, Snowmen are attacking, and only our Sun can stop them!

Great series that one is! Again, just burninig through the extra caffiene at the moment, after which, gonna get my lunch, and eat the utter crap out of it! Yay! Again, way the fuck too many exclamation points!!!

Welcome to the first day of the rest of five minutes!

Big issues
! We’ve all got issues with big issues. ‘specially Vanity Fair, those things are fucking huge! As the great andm ighty… Someone or other would’ve said, had this been made up, “Something… Blah.” Dunno. My biggest gripe today would have to be the group dynamic of presentations, you know? there are about five or six of us in a class group, with one of the women and myself Co-Leading the group in our Science class, and our topics have to deal with horses. One of these topics is the Seven Friendly Games by Pat Parelli,  and my contribution to the group was the awesome idea of having our school mascot come down and help us demonstrate the games! Awesome right?

so, I went ahead and got all the talking points done with the Student Body guy, and he’s cool with it, I confirmed with the back up person in charge, and finally talked with one of the dudes that may or may not be there on the date of our presentation and got that out of the way. So this morning, as part of the meeting I was supposed to have, I was going to have the gal that wrote a paper on the seven games come up with me to help better explain just what it was going to entail. Fine, Great, we got that sorted out.

then comes a fun little Textgument, because shit goes sideways at the best of times, and I had to reign in a idea of using a real horse. Basically told her that I had worked my ass off getting this thing together and wasn’t getting steamrolled by another idea. worst part of it was that I WAS ticked off, but I couldn’t.

So that cooled off, damage control, and whatnot, fun fun. then I’m talking with this one woman, we go to an art gallery, hang out, chat it up a bit with her and her friends when I notice that it’s a bit passed Two o’clock, and I’m thinking, “Oh shit, gotta jet”. Get there at 2:03 and the dude left. My day is complete. But it works out in the end, because turns out, both dudes are going to be in tomorrow! Yeah, so I rescheduled it for then, and everybodies happier than fuck. Specially me, cause I’m a bit hyper right now.

Well, that’s it for now!

What is goin on!?

More likely, their doing to us, what we’ve done to squirrels for decades, and some of those little bastards are now in charge of Google getting their sweet, sweet, Tracker Tat revenge.

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this peice of crap blog. But I’m not gonna slam my own posts, because that’s what douchebags with no social lives do! See, I teach you things! Really! Anyways, let’s get this thing started off with a big ol wire hanger up the cooter, right? Abortion is no laughing matter, but since it’s bunch successful in only bringing up peoples lunches with pictures of horridly mangled fetuses, I’d like to point out that getting cornered by this picture posterboard carrying sons of bitches right after I’ve eaten my meatball and noodle sandwich in heavy velvet tomato sauce, is pretty much a good way to turn a attempt at traumatizing with education about abortion, into a reverse paint throwing, with the pain being the contents of my stomach, and the fur coat being their face, neck, and chest.

Sometimes, I get lucky, and it lands on their expensive shoes. They argue that I should pay for a new pair of shoes, I argue that should buy me a new lunch. All uin all, they eave me alone, and I have nightmares. The actual procedure of abortion is kinda like a game of hungry hungry hippos. Where the Mr. Fantastic hippo is the wire hanger, and well, the poor little bastards are those annoying white plastic balls. now I’m not going to talk about this, because I seriously think that ultimately, who the hell are we to tell a woman what to do with her kid? More importantly, are the new line of Furby dolls possessed by the tears of disappointed six years olds? I say yes.

Furbies are fucking evil, and if you bought one for your kid, there is a special placei n the deepest level of hell reserved for you, Reality TV producers that thought honey Boo Boo childs TV show was a great idea, and Bill O’reily, cause that little jack ass has it ocming to some extent. Speaking of polotics and the evil doe eyed dolls it produces, Dem’s, Indies, and Repubs are arguing all over the place whether or not Obama’s glitchy as hell healthcare system should be given a Rocky Franchise number of chances, and if they do, should the Mascot be a Furby, because A) It might be evil, possessed of many flaws, and often mistaken for a stuffed ferret that got addicted to meth. B)It’s something that Special Interest groups that lobby for Big Insurance are vehemently throwing mounds of their own bullshit at because, why theh ell not make a simple thing complex?

I argue that Obamacare be given a chance. Yes, I voted for the guy on the premise that he’s not a republican, nor Jeb Bush, and that’s a win on both counts to me. I am a left leaning middle of the road kinda guy. And to those of you that bring up the point that Pres. Obama is the Antichrist/Worst president Ever/(Or, for those Racist assholes out there) It’s called the WHITEhouse for a reason, I counter with this:

He’s the Democratically Elected POTUS, and Y’all are jackasses, especially the racist ones.

While I don’t normally yap on and on about things that don’t interest me, I’m gonna put my foot in your mouths while you’re sleeping on this point. When Bush was elected… Twice, He made love to this country, and left us all with a horrifying case of “WTF Space Crabs” in the form of a few wars we didn’t need, a globally recognized “Kick Me” note stabbed to the U.S.A’s Reputation, and most importantly, he decided to throw us all over a cliff at the end of his second term while singing “Bye Bye Birdy”.

In other news, I support Gay Marriage, since, you know, the persuit of happiness is in the fucking constitution, and the GLBT community deserves to be just as happy as the rest of us. Also, it’s none of our damned business about how/where/with who/when/why/where/what they do their business. I’m simply happy for happiness sake, and to be honest, the High Desert, in general, though a very lovely place to live, has the most paint peelingly horrid pessimism levels ever incountered. This does not apply to everyone, just the ones that’re always dumping their bad news all over my pretty damned good day.

More pressing then that, Google is apparently becoming the Devil more and more. If you’ve ever seen the movie, Left Behind, with that one dude that was theh ero in 3DO’s The Horde, there’s this bit about getting tatted up so Satan’s little techies can keep an eye on you. Mind you, I’m religious, but not to the extent that creeps people out. just I’ve just done to myself. Anyways, there’s talk of a Giggle Tat out there with cyber ink, not the cyber you’re all thinking of you dirty, dirty person you. Apparently, they’ve decided on squeezing the T-1000 into a tat needle and jamming that jerk right into people’s necks, just a little bit at a time. Isn’t our privacy supposed to be, you know, PRIVATE? We’ve got FB screwing us in the front, the internet in the back, and now Goggle’s decided to jam shiny shit into our necks and claim it’s for cTech communication purposes.

More likely, their doing to us, what we’ve done to squirrels for decades, and some of thosel ittle bastards are now in charge of google getting their sweet sweet Tracker Tat revenge. Then there are all the little things I’ve missed out on yapping about, like PETA being a giant bag of dicks, because they care. Just… Not about Fashion, hard work in that soul sucking, vacuum formed sub culture of pissed off anorexic women who can never turn right, and must treat the stage like their own personal NASCAR track.

Yes, I’m talking about the always mockery filled world of Fashion, abusive managers, and labor in third world countries that produce those awesome shoes you’re wearing thus far. I’m in yo’ computer, searching through your internets, hide your browser history, hide your cookies, and hide your stash of horrible, horrible, adult videos, cause… I’m not in your computer, and half of you freaked out like I was. The internet is pleased. I have nothing more to say…

For now!

%d bloggers like this: