What is goin on!?

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this peice of crap blog. But I’m not gonna slam my own posts, because that’s what douchebags with no social lives do! See, I teach you things! Really! Anyways, let’s get this thing started off with a big ol wire hanger up the cooter, right? Abortion is no laughing matter, but since it’s bunch successful in only bringing up peoples lunches with pictures of horridly mangled fetuses, I’d like to point out that getting cornered by this picture posterboard carrying sons of bitches right after I’ve eaten my meatball and noodle sandwich in heavy velvet tomato sauce, is pretty much a good way to turn a attempt at traumatizing with education about abortion, into a reverse paint throwing, with the pain being the contents of my stomach, and the fur coat being their face, neck, and chest.

Sometimes, I get lucky, and it lands on their expensive shoes. They argue that I should pay for a new pair of shoes, I argue that should buy me a new lunch. All uin all, they eave me alone, and I have nightmares. The actual procedure of abortion is kinda like a game of hungry hungry hippos. Where the Mr. Fantastic hippo is the wire hanger, and well, the poor little bastards are those annoying white plastic balls. now I’m not going to talk about this, because I seriously think that ultimately, who the hell are we to tell a woman what to do with her kid? More importantly, are the new line of Furby dolls possessed by the tears of disappointed six years olds? I say yes.

Furbies are fucking evil, and if you bought one for your kid, there is a special placei n the deepest level of hell reserved for you, Reality TV producers that thought honey Boo Boo childs TV show was a great idea, and Bill O’reily, cause that little jack ass has it ocming to some extent. Speaking of polotics and the evil doe eyed dolls it produces, Dem’s, Indies, and Repubs are arguing all over the place whether or not Obama’s glitchy as hell healthcare system should be given a Rocky Franchise number of chances, and if they do, should the Mascot be a Furby, because A) It might be evil, possessed of many flaws, and often mistaken for a stuffed ferret that got addicted to meth. B)It’s something that Special Interest groups that lobby for Big Insurance are vehemently throwing mounds of their own bullshit at because, why theh ell not make a simple thing complex?

I argue that Obamacare be given a chance. Yes, I voted for the guy on the premise that he’s not a republican, nor Jeb Bush, and that’s a win on both counts to me. I am a left leaning middle of the road kinda guy. And to those of you that bring up the point that Pres. Obama is the Antichrist/Worst president Ever/(Or, for those Racist assholes out there) It’s called the WHITEhouse for a reason, I counter with this:

He’s the Democratically Elected POTUS, and Y’all are jackasses, especially the racist ones.

While I don’t normally yap on and on about things that don’t interest me, I’m gonna put my foot in your mouths while you’re sleeping on this point. When Bush was elected… Twice, He made love to this country, and left us all with a horrifying case of “WTF Space Crabs” in the form of a few wars we didn’t need, a globally recognized “Kick Me” note stabbed to the U.S.A’s Reputation, and most importantly, he decided to throw us all over a cliff at the end of his second term while singing “Bye Bye Birdy”.

In other news, I support Gay Marriage, since, you know, the persuit of happiness is in the fucking constitution, and the GLBT community deserves to be just as happy as the rest of us. Also, it’s none of our damned business about how/where/with who/when/why/where/what they do their business. I’m simply happy for happiness sake, and to be honest, the High Desert, in general, though a very lovely place to live, has the most paint peelingly horrid pessimism levels ever incountered. This does not apply to everyone, just the ones that’re always dumping their bad news all over my pretty damned good day.

More pressing then that, Google is apparently becoming the Devil more and more. If you’ve ever seen the movie, Left Behind, with that one dude that was theh ero in 3DO’s The Horde, there’s this bit about getting tatted up so Satan’s little techies can keep an eye on you. Mind you, I’m religious, but not to the extent that creeps people out. just I’ve just done to myself. Anyways, there’s talk of a Giggle Tat out there with cyber ink, not the cyber you’re all thinking of you dirty, dirty person you. Apparently, they’ve decided on squeezing the T-1000 into a tat needle and jamming that jerk right into people’s necks, just a little bit at a time. Isn’t our privacy supposed to be, you know, PRIVATE? We’ve got FB screwing us in the front, the internet in the back, and now Goggle’s decided to jam shiny shit into our necks and claim it’s for cTech communication purposes.

More likely, their doing to us, what we’ve done to squirrels for decades, and some of thosel ittle bastards are now in charge of google getting their sweet sweet Tracker Tat revenge. Then there are all the little things I’ve missed out on yapping about, like PETA being a giant bag of dicks, because they care. Just… Not about Fashion, hard work in that soul sucking, vacuum formed sub culture of pissed off anorexic women who can never turn right, and must treat the stage like their own personal NASCAR track.

Yes, I’m talking about the always mockery filled world of Fashion, abusive managers, and labor in third world countries that produce those awesome shoes you’re wearing thus far. I’m in yo’ computer, searching through your internets, hide your browser history, hide your cookies, and hide your stash of horrible, horrible, adult videos, cause… I’m not in your computer, and half of you freaked out like I was. The internet is pleased. I have nothing more to say…

For now!

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