Janice had just bought a tazer. not just any tazer mind you, this one was found in an abandoned Chinese food resteraunt, in the back room, sold to her by a dying Elder God, who for one or another, thought his last moments should be spent right next to a pot filled with month old, dried up Ramen noodles and plum sauce with a pulse.
Janice didn’t care, she needed the protection.
The Elder Gods last words to her were, “Don’t feed it after midnight.”
She didn’t pay it any mind, because she was the smartest woman in her class.
The tazer was ornate, the sides covered in small jade pebbles, with each individual pebble having impossibly small runes carved into the surface. The prongs felt as though they were made of a tendon like tissue, and she didn’t even want to look at the power supply.
Though, every once in a while, when she wasn’t paying attention, she could swear she heard the word, “Pikachu!” Beep out of no where. four days later, and against her better judgement, she exited a randomly abandoned building, and went down a dark alley.
Because of course she did.
To no ones surprise what so ever, a group of dangerous men cornered her.
“Heh, what to have some fun? We won’t hurt you, promise!” The shortest, roundest, baldingest of the three asked. Janice knew he was lying. quicker than he could blink an eye, she whipped out the strange looking taser, and pointed it like a gun at the tiny ball of shame currently glaring at her.
“Stay back! I’m warning you!” She shouted, hoping someone would hear her.
“Whoa, she’s got a tazer! We better watch out!” The tallest of the three laughed, gradually walking closer to her. Panicked, she did the only instinctual thing she could.
She jabbed the tazer in an upwards motion, unintentionally stabbing the tallest man in the roof of his mouth. She didn’t know it, but it was three minutes passed midnight.
The Elder God, now back in the place where Elder gods go after they get bored of being in physical form, shook his head in bewilderment.”‘Dude,” He said to the Elder god of cheese poof dust covered fingers, “Totally told her NOT to feed it, annnnd she fed it.”
Storm clouds gathered above Janice and her would be attackers, becoming darker and angrier by the second, till at last, they could contain their anger no longer and roared with an elemental rage not felt since people became disgusted with Simon Peggs decision to voice his opinion about pop culture. Out of fright, Janice pressed the button, and a prerecorded “FINISH HIM! DUHN DUHN DUHN!” played.
A lightning bolt struck down, slamming through the mans head, greedily meeting with the prongs. the tall man screamed helplessly as the bolt of lightning didn’t go away, rather, it intensified, growing in size, number, and strength, till the man seemed to be glowing a white hot blue, arcs of electricity arcing outwards only to slam back into his body.
The other two men, scared of what was happening to their friends, started to run off, but before they could even get a step in, the lightning shot into them as well, slowing turning the three of them into piles of screaming ash. This all happened within the space of five minutes, leaving Janice with a sense of both wonder, delight, and pants shitting terror.
“Hrm, let’s see if this works on cheating ex boyfriends, eh, Pikachu?”