I have blogger’s anxiety.

Okay, so it’s been a while since I’ve written a blog entry here, like for a REALLY long time I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write. I was worried that whatever I was going to write wasn’t going to be trendy or funny, or catch people’s eyes, not to mention that the pressure of social media to be trendy or cute, or whatever the fuck is happening in the world is almost too much.

So I trapped myself in the world of fiction, I put myself there for so long that I no longer felt like I had anything else to write about in the real world, where as in the past I was BOLD, brave, reckless, ready to offend and not give two shits about whatever it was I was oging to go off about. That route made me somewhat popular, but at the same time it had me worried that I was going to offend the wrong people with my words. MY FUCKING WORDS.

In truth, my parents kept interrupting me whenever I was writing something down, almost to the point of being a super coincidental annoyance. I Guess that’s my biggest gripe about blogging, I want to start there and work my way out, because it’s super hard for me to stay focused, and sometimes I need to talk about what’s bothering me. After all, this IS morgansmindcicles.wordpress.com right? RIGHT!?

I love my parents, I REALLY really do. thing is, I’m a writer, writing is what I love to do. It’s my morning bread and butter, it’s the thing that makes me want to reach my arms in the air and fist fuck the sun until it explodes! I don’t consider it a good blogging experience until I’ve written about ten to fifteen paragraphs, which also explains my publishing speed when it comes to Sogno Della Dinastia. brb.

Thing is, mother fucker…. every single god damned time…. No wonder I have fucking anxiety. God that coffee is fucking weak as shit! Anyways, I dunno where my anxiety is stemming from, but I do know for a fact that I’d likje to punch the air so hard it creates mini black holes and shove them right up Donald Trump’s ass! The guy is a complete and fucking idiot, or #fuckidiot because reasons! I usually lead off with something serious then go into the weird inane bullshit because I want to lead away from the topics I’m thinking about, kind of like a certain fuck headed tiny limbed, shit burger fucking Placeholder in Chief.

Donald Trump is like the edgy teen that kicks geesein the face, then claims the police reports are #fakenews. Only thing faker than his perception of the news is how much longer his marriage is going to last and I don’t see that bit of reality being disproven any time soon!

Did you know cupcakes are a thing? I think they are but I’m not too sure. I once wanted to be a porn star, but now after seeing the news, I nolonger feel that way. I should run for President, they’d vote for a porn star? They would, because if people have already seen junk go into your trunk, there’s not much else they can really say. I mean yeah, Stormy would get lots of questions in regards to how thick the dicks were, what position was her favorite, and eventually it would fade into the usual polotical questions and her leanings. Which wouldn’t surprise me in the least. But have no fear, Oprah’s winning the 2020 and we won’t have to worry about a god damned thing anymore.

Call me a Snawflake, but when I shake the mountain, your asses are dealing with a fucking blizzard! Speaking of which, I redownloaded Starcraft Remastered out of nostalgia, and… well, it’s pretty much the same game it’s always been, not going to lie. Like it’s the same game, same way of playing, same everything, but at the same time, youre left wondering what was the point? True, you could use the remastered to introduce new players to the old game play conepts and then ease them into the sequel, but at the same time… I need something new.

I like the map making aspect of it, and I used to be completely boss at making UTGOTY maps like crazy! I came up with some pretty fucking badass map designs, and I’d spend hours making, texturing, and placing the wlak path nodes for the bots. It was a fucking blast! There was this one map, set in space, two basses on a connecting asteroid orbiting the planet? Hell fucking yeah, I loved that shit! I also dabbled in RPGMaker, which I haven’t checked to see if they updated or released a new version of yet.

But I had a pretty bad ass concept, there’d be the classic good versus evil concept, but it wasn’t the usual case of “WE’RE GONNA DEFEAT YOU BECAUSE CHEESECAKE!” It was more like they were an old married couple, and they’d do this as foreplay for when the REAL shit was about to go down, so they’d flip a coin, who ever lost had to be the “Evil”  one, so they’d create four blank souls each with their own story line, but always leading to the outcome of having to face off against the “Evil” side. I put so much fuckign effort into the first attempt, always working on it whenever I had the time and patience for it.

And then the file crashed, so I tried it again, same concept, it was always the same concept, but no matter what I tried, I just couldn’t get it to stick. I thought at first the problem was the scope of the game, so I tried making a small game to ease into things, set the bar low, y’know? No dice, couldn’t even finish a “Point A to point B” game.

Finishing something, getting to the goal. Knowing that you never had to look at it again and that it was off in the world doing it’s thing… That’s my issue. I mean, the process of writing, editing, formatting, and publishing books is a pretty good example of that… I’ve published a number of books:

The Dorikame Saga: Birth of Change

The Dorikame Saga: Broken Omen

Songs of the Soul

The Wrath of Puppy Monkey Baby

Messages to an Illegitimate President

The Debate of Factions

The Six Strings of the the Highlander’s Guitar

But… This is the way of things… Y’know?

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