The bullets that shouldn’t be fired.

We are not a country of madmen.
We are not a country of bloodthirsty maniacs.
We are not who the rest of the world has painted us to be.
We do not do this.

We are not a country of madmen.
We are not a country of bloodthirsty maniacs.
We are not who the rest of the world has painted us to be.
We do not do this.
We have had one too many mass shootings, one too many “Mentally Ill” people, who, for one reason or another, fell into a state of mental disrepair to the point of grabbing a gun, making a list or not, and going to place where people should be at their safest and opening fire, before either taking themselves out, or being taken out by the police.
The victims, both dead and surviving, leaving gaping holes in both their own, and their loved ones, as the politicians offer only words of encouragement and prayers when action is required.
The cycle, just continues, without real change happening.
Even when small children are taken out by a madman.
Even when teenagers are taken out.
Even when moving goers are killed.
Even when church goers are murdered.
Even when Synagogue worshippers are slaughtered.
What will it take for change to happen? Actual change? Change that we’ve been promised for years, but no one wants to do anything, out of fear of losing their job, their reputation, their friends? The NRA? Well, of course they’re not going to do anything, why would they?  Why would they push those in their pocket to vote for tighter regulation of fire arms?
Why won’t the President, who tossed up the idea of actually taking the gun nuts guns away, ACTUALLY take the guns away? When will the violence stop? Or will it simply get worse and worse and worse until the story, the history of America is just that, tales of the days of mass shootings, gun violence, bullets that were fired at people who are just going about their day? When IS the line going to be crossed that will finally be the last one?

Or are we just going to roll over again and again and again, with our eyes glazed over and our minds ever distracted by the latest celeb gossip, or movie reveals, or trailers for games, or lies the politicians are feeding us to get elected, or re-elected? When is the violence against children, teenagers, women, minorities, and the elderly finally going to bottleneck to the point where shit’s going to be too real for those who are actively working against the survival of the species, that they take a step back and actually do something?

If I don’t sound my usual chipper self, in the wake of the Tree of Light/light massacre, that’s because I’m having a hard time putting into words just how I’m feeling.
Angry.
Disgusted.
Revolted.
Disappointed.
Saddened.
But, shockingly enough? I’m feeling like this IS our new normal, this constant shattering of lows that we keep thinking can’t get any lower, consistently and unequivocally does. I’m not feeling anything, I should, as my heart goes out to those affected by this latest episode of Mass Shooting Cycle, where we all know how things are going to play out, and we all think, “Well, that’s that.” And outside of a few norms, we won’t pay that much attention to it.
We can’t.
We won’t allow ourselves to be peeled away from our phones, for fear of missing the latest thing to be angry about, or needing that extra like or sub, and it’s all very blaze, all part of the norm in what should be a fuse lighting moment to a powder keg that’s been building up for the last thirty or so years.

But, no. The keg will continue to be packed, the more anger and sadness stuffed into that fucking thing, the worse it’ll be later. Tears don’t fall for the victims of mass shooting anymore from the eyes of those not the most affected by it. They just don’t anymore, the only thing that falls for them now are sound waves spoken by liars and idiots, the anger is there, just behind the curtains, the shock, the awe, the pandering glares to people that should be changing the laws to make things safer, but so too on the other side are the voices fearing the loss of their own firearms.

How fucked is that? How fucked is it that we can claim to be the greatest country in the fucking world when we have this shit literally blowing up in our faces every few weeks or months? incredibly, and I don’t just say this to make a point about voting a certain way, because why would my words affect your vote? It won’t, or maybe it will. Who knows? I’m not you.

How will we paint this cycle? With the blood of the victims? Or the much needed bandages that will go towards healing the constantly reopening wounds? And the President, sorry, Donald, isn’t doing much, just a sympathy tour, not much more. Because Donald believes in the almighty dollar over everything else, just the almighty dollar as if it were his God. He prays to the green slip of paper, the clicking of silver coins from those pockets that have a piece of him to stave off those that would hold them accountable, and yes, I am very angry, I am very upset, but I am not sitting in a corner crying tears that should have NEVER fallen to begin with, for people I will never meet, who should have NEVER gone through this. I am doing this, making my voice heard, despite the criticism from those that would try and make my voice smaller, from those that would criticize my choices of platforms, from those who don’t believe that lives should be saved because of their of fears or inner, secret hatreds.

I voted today, that’s what I did, first thing, for people who are working on a number of issues, and this being a top one. One that will be politicized, one that will be made into the same form fitting story of how a Mentally ill mad men shot and killed a bunch of people before being taken in himself or herself. And my only question is this, what good will it do in the long run to prevent this kind of horror story from playing out again in the future?

What’s to stop a bullied kid from going too far when all they need is a hug and a friend to talk to? Or some one pressured too much by their own inner demons to snap and make their own worst fears into a reality, only to wake up from whatever state their in and take themselves out?

There is a lot we can do.
Thoughts and prayers and useless words are not one of them.

Howdy! I’ve got nothing but… love?

So, a big thing with me is trying to either figure out if I’m in love, out of love, or if someone’s smitten with me or not. Usually it’s not, but there are some weird exceptions to the rule, and this isn’t coming from some egotistical point of view where I constantly think, EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCK ME HARD AND BREAK MY BED SPRINGS!” God, as awesome as that would be, I still hold out hope that a bus full of cheerleaders wants me to…. well, fuck em… what else? A MAN CAN DREAM DAMN IT!

Anyways, at work, I’ve been trying to keep to myself and I’ve been failing at that with as much grace as a flame in a wind storm, you know? But, when you spend ten hours a day around the same people, day after day, eventually, something’s going to click, and so, that kind of thing has happened, maybe, I might be reading too much into the whole thing, and maybe I’ve stepped into it yet again, but hey, always hold out hope for love, you know?

Anyways, there are a couple of cute gals at work, and we get along pretty well, and I’m pretty much straight forward with the work type things, and so are they, because, you know, co-workers and all of that.  I need to clip my nails, drives me nuts when I’m writing and they keep popping against the thing, anyways, I finally got the gumption to be all casual like and suggest to one of the gals that we should exchange numbers when we get the chance, and she seems pretty down for the idea, which is cool.

Like i said, I’m trying to be as calm as possible here because you never know if something’s going to go sideways, down, or up, which is just me being cautious, because that kind of thing is always a bit terrifying, maybe it’s just my own hormones kicking the crap out of whatever doubt I’m currently facing down? Or maybe i’m finally becoming a bit more confident at work, since it’s a professional environment and not some college campus where shit is just crazy as fuck sometimes.

The stories I could tell you and probably already have. i’ll keep you guys and gals updated, maybe I’ve found a new gal pal, or maybe just another friend to chat with between bouts of work, who knows? I’m just excited to be on the market again, even though I think I always might’ve been from the moment I switched from being being in a relationship to being single… There is that bit of recovery time though, right? The resetting of the way how one thinks about things… It is an adjustment. Anyways, work awaits, and I’m pretty psyched about the the day, one more day till PERDER!!!! Or, you know…

Payday! Woot motherfuckers!

I see the little things, and fuck em. right in the skull.

Ello, ello, ello, ello! And how are we doing today? i’m going to ramble on a bit because fuck logic and let’s just see where this goes? Yes, we’ll see where it goes! So first off, sorry I haven’t posted in forever, my work schedules been fucking me creative wise for a while, and I figure getting this shit out now is a better use of my time, since I love Amazon and everything the company does, so you know, work where you shop and all will be well? I guess, I mean, pizza guys don’t eat pizza very often since they’rearound that stuff all the tiem and you know, stuff and thangs and work related bull shit. Speaking of which, let’s talk about work related bullshit, shall we?

I’m a UR. No, not an URUK, that’d be a UK based Universal Reciever, anyways, my job, or task, actually, somedays I get trained on a few things at once and I’m like, woot! But my task is to take a box, boop the box, and make things go in order. Too complicated? Fuck nah, it’s simple, but what really fucks me over is te fact that some of the other UR’s in the line I’m working in just let the work fucking float on by, it’s like, seriously? These idiots fucking run around thep lace talking to their friends, play fighting in the lines ando ther shit when boxes are rolling passed them, like do they even care? Are they not understand that while, yeah, rates are fun and all of that, work is fucking work, not a chance to ask fifty fucking questions in a god damned row and slow down whoever the fuck is on the other side of the station because you have some unimportant idiocy going on in your life that you have the need to share. And that’s anothe hting, usually, if I can help it, I’ll try to get placed somewhere in the middle, and that’s great and all, usually in them iddle or at the end, because that’s where the majority of the leftover work tends to fall on the busy days.

Sunday we had these wierd little breaks between boutis of box booping, which is fine, let the work pile up, we boop the shit of the boxes, get them to where it needs ot be going and all that fun shit, at the same time, I’m silently flipping out because the day before a PS gets on my case for going to fast with those boxes of little items that are usually 150 to 200 little things, pretty much a easy game of pokemon where you don’t want to catch ’em all.

Anywho, the gal across from me, bless her heart, K, tells me she’s an LA, and based on what she’s seen, I’m doing pretty well for myself, which is amazing news to hear, because my DR is fucking terrible, and my WR is fucking amazing, so the differencei s fucking crazy, not to mention I finally got around to buying a watch which will save me a shit ton of time not having to look at the time every five minutes wondering when FB and SB are and which one I should take. Speaking of which, Sunday, also learned how to PrEd, pretty simple, no DR or WR to worry about, which is nice, but there’s no variation between booping, but there is a variation in where the stuff goes, so that’s nice, no need to worry about ST shooting it to OB, IB, or the SoTo’s, the AT’s or the DT’s, which is fucking amazing. i’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while, and I needed a while to figure out the lingo, so hopefully, I can nail down a schedule where i’m posting blogs on the regular. Speaking of which, I’ve been cranking out chapters left and right when it comes to Compiling parts, pretty simple stuff.

I haven’t really worked on the game too much lately, my creative’s been fucked, because I sleep, wake up, get ready for the day, go to work, come home, rinse and repeat, there’ve been some days where I get some writing done, which helps out in the long run, but the goals still the same, anyways, it’s getting a bit late in the day and the evenings and nights in the High Desert are a bitch to deal with when it’s cold… Should most likely invest in a head lamp and an extended battery, which I desperately need. Or a new laptop… That might actually go the distance, or try upgrading this one… Need to figure out what parts are compatible with it, no need to spend more money than I actually need to.

I’m working for Amazon now!

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So, yeah, I’m working for Amazon, but I don’t know if I should talk about it, fuck it, I’mma talk about it, after spending nearly 50 hours there already, I think I should talk about how one of the containers I recievefd, (I’m a reciever) was a several things of anal lube. So, yep, my strangenirgin thingy I’m distracted now, I like butterflies, maybe it’s just a colorful alamb a lamb alamb alamb I can’t stop typing that word, or maybe I just don’t like using big wordss, because then I get distracted, or they freak me out? Maybe that’s what it is, I get freaked out because i only have a limited amount of time before I just say fuck it, I’mm posting this and there it is. I’m going to play some games now, I think I have ADHD, which might explain all of this.

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