The bullets that shouldn’t be fired.

We are not a country of madmen.
We are not a country of bloodthirsty maniacs.
We are not who the rest of the world has painted us to be.
We do not do this.
We have had one too many mass shootings, one too many “Mentally Ill” people, who, for one reason or another, fell into a state of mental disrepair to the point of grabbing a gun, making a list or not, and going to place where people should be at their safest and opening fire, before either taking themselves out, or being taken out by the police.
The victims, both dead and surviving, leaving gaping holes in both their own, and their loved ones, as the politicians offer only words of encouragement and prayers when action is required.
The cycle, just continues, without real change happening.
Even when small children are taken out by a madman.
Even when teenagers are taken out.
Even when moving goers are killed.
Even when church goers are murdered.
Even when Synagogue worshippers are slaughtered.
What will it take for change to happen? Actual change? Change that we’ve been promised for years, but no one wants to do anything, out of fear of losing their job, their reputation, their friends? The NRA? Well, of course they’re not going to do anything, why would they?  Why would they push those in their pocket to vote for tighter regulation of fire arms?
Why won’t the President, who tossed up the idea of actually taking the gun nuts guns away, ACTUALLY take the guns away? When will the violence stop? Or will it simply get worse and worse and worse until the story, the history of America is just that, tales of the days of mass shootings, gun violence, bullets that were fired at people who are just going about their day? When IS the line going to be crossed that will finally be the last one?

Or are we just going to roll over again and again and again, with our eyes glazed over and our minds ever distracted by the latest celeb gossip, or movie reveals, or trailers for games, or lies the politicians are feeding us to get elected, or re-elected? When is the violence against children, teenagers, women, minorities, and the elderly finally going to bottleneck to the point where shit’s going to be too real for those who are actively working against the survival of the species, that they take a step back and actually do something?

If I don’t sound my usual chipper self, in the wake of the Tree of Light/light massacre, that’s because I’m having a hard time putting into words just how I’m feeling.
Angry.
Disgusted.
Revolted.
Disappointed.
Saddened.
But, shockingly enough? I’m feeling like this IS our new normal, this constant shattering of lows that we keep thinking can’t get any lower, consistently and unequivocally does. I’m not feeling anything, I should, as my heart goes out to those affected by this latest episode of Mass Shooting Cycle, where we all know how things are going to play out, and we all think, “Well, that’s that.” And outside of a few norms, we won’t pay that much attention to it.
We can’t.
We won’t allow ourselves to be peeled away from our phones, for fear of missing the latest thing to be angry about, or needing that extra like or sub, and it’s all very blaze, all part of the norm in what should be a fuse lighting moment to a powder keg that’s been building up for the last thirty or so years.

But, no. The keg will continue to be packed, the more anger and sadness stuffed into that fucking thing, the worse it’ll be later. Tears don’t fall for the victims of mass shooting anymore from the eyes of those not the most affected by it. They just don’t anymore, the only thing that falls for them now are sound waves spoken by liars and idiots, the anger is there, just behind the curtains, the shock, the awe, the pandering glares to people that should be changing the laws to make things safer, but so too on the other side are the voices fearing the loss of their own firearms.

How fucked is that? How fucked is it that we can claim to be the greatest country in the fucking world when we have this shit literally blowing up in our faces every few weeks or months? incredibly, and I don’t just say this to make a point about voting a certain way, because why would my words affect your vote? It won’t, or maybe it will. Who knows? I’m not you.

How will we paint this cycle? With the blood of the victims? Or the much needed bandages that will go towards healing the constantly reopening wounds? And the President, sorry, Donald, isn’t doing much, just a sympathy tour, not much more. Because Donald believes in the almighty dollar over everything else, just the almighty dollar as if it were his God. He prays to the green slip of paper, the clicking of silver coins from those pockets that have a piece of him to stave off those that would hold them accountable, and yes, I am very angry, I am very upset, but I am not sitting in a corner crying tears that should have NEVER fallen to begin with, for people I will never meet, who should have NEVER gone through this. I am doing this, making my voice heard, despite the criticism from those that would try and make my voice smaller, from those that would criticize my choices of platforms, from those who don’t believe that lives should be saved because of their of fears or inner, secret hatreds.

I voted today, that’s what I did, first thing, for people who are working on a number of issues, and this being a top one. One that will be politicized, one that will be made into the same form fitting story of how a Mentally ill mad men shot and killed a bunch of people before being taken in himself or herself. And my only question is this, what good will it do in the long run to prevent this kind of horror story from playing out again in the future?

What’s to stop a bullied kid from going too far when all they need is a hug and a friend to talk to? Or some one pressured too much by their own inner demons to snap and make their own worst fears into a reality, only to wake up from whatever state their in and take themselves out?

There is a lot we can do.
Thoughts and prayers and useless words are not one of them.

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