It’s so fucking disgusting, you have no idea, but it’s just kick in the fuccking pants I needed to write this shit out. I guess, I mean, I’m not one to judge that bag of goldfish over there, but I think it’s going to kill me in my sleep. Fucking young link in smash bros is probably the weirdest sentence I’ve ever written, though right NOW I’m not trying to direct my flow, just let it go where it will, you know? But that’s the thing, as soon as I say I’m doing one thing, my mind’s like, “NOT TODAY BITCHES!” And we start all over, which is fine and dandy I suppose, since working at amazon, is kind of like working for one of those weird out of the way gas stations, and dumb asses are always ordering the weirdest shit.
Face dildos, like, really? The only possible reason to want a double sided face dildo is if your kink is deep throating yourself while you head bang into your girls crotch. and if that shit’s going down?
Listen to lamb of God, very relaxing music.
Speaking of which, I think I just set up a hookup situation with an older co-worker who’s kinda out of shape…. Like… what the fuck. I’m not comfortable with this at all, since A, she just flat out texted me, “WYD… wantafuck?” And me, not wanting to be a dick replied, sure, why not? Look, I did not sign up for amazon to get laid, I work for amazon to get paid And yes, that’s a fucking rhyme, and I don’t lie, I got the flow to make this work and fuck my life I can’t stop.
Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of rap, and the strange fucking thing is that I’m pretty good at dropping the beat myself, and it’s scary what you lose in the process of it all. For every one thing you gain, you lose something else.
Annnnd fuck my life I just gave a coworker a link to my blog. Not the one mentioned above, different one.
Welllll, meh, fuck it. Sup my man! I know, right? WE’RE FUCKING VIKINGS! Which I guess is a better statement than WE’RE VIKINGS FUCKING! Or the following:
1. Vikings, we’re fucking.
2. Vikings! We’re fucking?
3. Vikings? We’re fucking!
4. Fucking? we’re Vikings.
5. Fucking. We’re Vikings?
6. Fucking! We’re Viking!
7. We’re fucking Vikings!
8. We’re fucking Vikings?
9. We’re fucking Vikings.
10. We’re fucking, Vikings.
11. we’re fucking, Vikings!
12. We’re fucking, Vikings?
And so on, so…. yup. It sometimes gets a little deep up in this bitch, and we all know that sometimes, you just have to dress a weiner dog up in a little adorable hotdog costume and let the little fucker run around a room filled with people stoned out there mind.
It will either wind up being the funniest thing you’ve ever seen, or maybe a horrifying case why you should never call a breed of dog, that naturally looks like a hotdog, a weiner dog. Yup.
Like fucking batman.
Or even fucking Bruce Wayne on either Mother or Fathers day.
Shit’s just… y’know… fucked.