Side note to my followers:
1. This isn’t directed at you.
2. I really am going to send this.
3. I get distracted incredibly easy.
4. I’ve never liked Trump, even before he became a household name. And sold shitty steaks. And declared bankruptcy 13 times.
5. All you are awesome in your own unique ways, and I really do appreciate you all.
UPDATE: I ended up not sending it. Just feels good to write. No matter how I feel about the man, I must… blah blah blah morality and all of that.
Dear Donald “Mushroom Dick” Trump,
First off, fuck you.
Secondly, fuck you harder.
Thirdy, fuck you with a rotating cactus at 10,000RPM.
You are a fucking disgrace, you abhorrent, psychotic, bed wetting, sociopathic, tax hiding, shit faced, no name, low rated, used car salesman mime fucker. I’m sorry, that would be an insult to Mimes, cause at least Mimes know when to shut the fuck up.
Hell, do you know how much virulent anger, and dislike I have for you? Not enough dislike that I’m gonna watch the world burn, but enough dislike to write out the word dislike three or four times, and I’ve already lost the thread, because how quickly I smell raisin bran, why do I smell raisin bran?
Holy shit, am I having a stroke?
I mean, does over caffeination lead to strokes?
I’m not even focused on the blog post anymore, right now I’m just trying to figure out just what the fuck is going on with my body, unless the dog farted and yeah, I know that blaming it on the dog is cliche as all fuck, you tanned escaped offspring of a bath salts addicted oompa loompa and a moldy as fuck cheetoh, but right now, the world and I have more important things to worry about, as I sit here, caffeinated out of my gourd, writing a semi distracted insult blog post to you, you fat cod swallow of a human being!
Just what the fuck was I angry about anyways?
It feels like I don’t have the reserve of deep swelling anger that I used to, I wonder why that is, I mean, it’s kind of like how you used to think you had a regular sized dick, and then reality proved otherwise, by having your face next to the definition of the word “Nanopenis” Because Micropenis was still large large a scope for you.
At least I can say without a doubt that I am very sorry I ever searched up Multipenis in googles image search, because you can’t unsee that bullshit, and HOW DOES THAT MAN MASTURBATE!?
Good god there are so many unanswered questions related to that guy. When he gets erections, does it look like, I dunno, some kind of fleshy dick based porcupine attached itself to his crotch and never let go!?
I’M TRULY SORRY FOR THIS LINE OF THOUGHT, BUT GOD DAMN IT, THESE ARE QUESTIONS THAT GOD ITSELF NEEDED TO HAVE US DISCOVER! Trump, like the multipeni’d man, you are a mushroom dicked freak of nature that somehow continues to function like a racist piece of shit that you are, and I’m back! I’m sorry, I had to just run that track till I got back to where I was going, and then I was happy again, because hey, progress right?
Anyways, I want a taco, not your problem, you ball of cancerous tumors interlocked into the somewhat distinct shape of a man, but… I really want some tacos.