Hello, my name is Morgan, I’m the DOVAHKIN!

Buuuut, that’s not what I’m going o talk about, afterall, it’s my blog, so whoop there it is! Happy Valentines day you sexy fucks.
There, did it.
Anyways, today I wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to, not talking about any kinds of heavy topics which will unnaturally devolve into a kind of idiot soup, as… Most of my blogs eventually do and I’ve already forgotten what it is I’m writing about because things and animals keep interrupting me. Fan fucking tastic.
I think given the blog pattern of each post, this is exactly what happens, I start in on a topic, and then, in one glorious moment of temporary self reflection I say to thee, “FUCKETH IT, I SHALL GOETH DOETH SOMETHING ELSETH!” And I know that’s not how it works out, but, let’s stay focused here.
Lately, I’ve been playing a SHIT TON OF SKYRIM for the Nintendo Switch, and I am fucking addicted…
To slaughtering every killable NPC and making game breaking weapons and armor that one shot most enemies like a son of a bit and making ridiculously leveled skill jumps, exploring new lands, murder punching every stupid face there till I get bored of murder punching people right in their stupid fucking faces, rinse and repeat.
But, I’ve done the murder punching bit OVER AND OVER AND OVER and THIS time around, I’ve actually started playing the game, or, at least, I will when I get the following enchantments on my gear:

Helm:
Magika
Magika Regen

Neck:
Barter
Lockpicking

Body:
Health
Resist Disease

Glove:
Carry Weight
Pickpocket

Ring:
Alchemy
Smithing

Boot:
Stamina
Sneak

Argonian Race Trait:
waterbreathing

(12 hours later. Not kidding, I got distracted by skyrim.)

So my thinking on this is that the Argonians, or skyrim’s version of the LIZARD PEOPLE are the only race in the game with natural Water Breathing, cause they’re fuckin’ Lizards. So, with enchanting at Level 100, that gives me access to Extra effect which allows me to put two enchantments on an item, therefor giving me 12 slots to put enchantments, so, use the Fortify Restoration glitch to make some fucking powerful potions, (we’re talking in the 200 billion percentile range here) enchant a set with fortify Alchemy, make a fortify Enchanting potion, and knock all those listed things out, though I am considering swapping out health for health Regen, because if my health is too high, or it doesn’t show the health increased by -10,000,000 or so, then the moment I take that gear off, I die. horribly.
My logic with the carry weight is that, well, I loot shit all the time, I’m a fucking thief in Skyrim, so I need my sneak, lock picking, and pickpocket to be fucking insane, and with INFINITE STAMINA my ass can run from one part of the map to the next without needing to take a break!
I think I spend nearly all my free time playing skyrim, mainly doing the Item Duplication glitch, which strangely enough, only seems to work in Whiterun, one of the first cities you come across.
I’ve tried playing the game normally, and for me, there is no normal way to play.
“But, YOU’RE RUINING THE GAME!” Am I?
for who, exactly?
you?
You aren’t playing my game, you’re playing a COPY of the game, so you play however YOU want, and I’ll play however I want. All I know is that my last five playthroughs ended with me slaughtering every killable NPC I came across and brutalizing the ones that couldn’t be killed. I must’ve killed nearly eight thousand guards alone.
So, this play through, I chose to play as an Argonian male named Dethbite. Because of course I did. I chose his coloring to be as bright as possible, why? Because in nature, in the wild, reptiles that have bright and beautiful coloring on their scales are known to be deadly as fuck.
And it’s fun as hell.
I would’ve played as one of the Elf or human races, but something about a Lizard man running around, shouting every city, hold, and farm to absolute death is just too fucking funny.
Should’ve named him Godzilla, LMAO.
Besides, I really want to one shot dragons, so that’s why I need smithing, ALTHOUGH I could just find the Absorb health enchantment and go fucking nuts on that, and somehow, in the last playthrough, i found something with the chaos enchantment, which has all three elemental attacks in it, and can literally fuck anyone’s day up. In a heartbeat.

(13 hours later. Again, not kidding.)

Update: I spent the better part of last night knocking out that level 100 Enchanting skill, and IT WAS WORTH IT. Got my carry weight up to 311 million, my health up to 200 million, and my stamina up to …. I don’t even know, but so far everything’s coming together like a BEAST! I’m so excited! Also, found an Alchemist in Markarth that I can’t outright kill. Which is a good thing, at least Bethesda had the foresight to make one of the little bastards unkillable.
This means she’s got a quest line, this also means she has a shit ton of alchemy ingredients that I can snag and clone like crazy to find every little combination, which is goooooooood.
I’ve also lost another Mercenary, so I’ve decided to get one of the unkillable NPC’s as my follower, which thank fucking god for that, because I found something out!
NPCs usually have a max carry weight of around 350 or so when trading items with them, BUT, if you simply have them pick items UP then they have no carry limit, so long as it’s one item at a time when doing the Duplication glitch.
right, also forget to add one or two things to that little bastard.
1. The trick to resetting the Item Dupe glitch is to go out and come back into the alcove again, but pick the items up yourself, this is especially useful if you want to place the items in another spot.

2. You don’t need to take the whole shebang of items from the follower to increase the number of items you want to clone, instead, take a max of 15 from them, and add it to the pile in the alcove, and just keep repeating this as needed, it saves a lot of time, and you actually end up knocking out a shit ton more picking everything up. Spent nearly an hour knocking out Gold Ingots, and I might just do the same for all the other items Craftables and whatnot.

Anyways, sorry for the late post, I just get incredibly distracted with other things. And I’ve been having trouble figuring out what to write about, so I figured I might as well write about whatever’s in front of me. And yes, before this gets preachy and idiotic- oh shit, too late- here’s something related to women:

I once asked an ex girlfriend if having boobs made standing up a challenge. She replied by asking how many times hurt mah balls just by walking. The lesson of the story being, that both PHYSICAL genders (fuck you for making me specify.) develop in ways that allow for… something… Optimum physiological development?
I mean, if that were true, women’d be able to shoot quills out of their breasts and ass cheeks as a self defense measure, and guys would have developed a bone covering for their balls, as well as a spine and tiny ribcage for their dicks.
Alrighty, nuff nightmare fuel, no matter how kinky the porcupine fetish might seem, probably not worth it.
I mean, “Pintits” would probably be a better movie series than “Hellraiser” right?

4 thoughts on “Hello, my name is Morgan, I’m the DOVAHKIN!

  1. The following time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I do know it was my option to read, however I truly thought youd have something attention-grabbing to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you would fix should you werent too busy looking for attention.

    Like

    • First off, the fuck ya just say?
      Not insulting you, just trying to follow along with the comment structure. Okay, let’s do everyone a favor here and fix that. Also, I have akismet set up to filter comments that seem spammy, and were you not busy lambasting me, y’could’ve gotten my attention a lot earlier, okay, let’s get in this thing:

      “The following time I learned of any weblog, It is my hope that it doesn’t disappoint me as much as this one has.”

      Fair assessment. My reply? Meh, whatevs. Everyone has their thing.

      “I imply, I do know that it was my option to read, however, I truly thought you’d have something attention-grabbing to say.”

      Okay, not every blog you follow is going to be some mind breaking intellectual fact storm which forever changes your perspective on the overall human experience as you see it, and while sometimes I get a few strikes of lightning, I try not to stay too focused on hard hitting stuff, there are other blogs for that kind of thing.

      “All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you would fix, if you weren’t too busy looking for attention.”

      I’m looking for attention? this actually intrigues me, please explain how my venting about things that are on my mind is me looking for attention? I’m actually looking forward to your response.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.