Month: August 2019

I keep forgetting I have this thing

Annnd Apparently I suck at keeping this blog updated, so… Yeah? Maybe? I don’t fucking know, lmao.
So, let’s just dive right into the kibbles and bits, rather than the dick and shaft. Cause that would hurt both parties involved somehow.
So, what’ have I, the Glorious (Not glorious, just kinda normal) person been up to?
Writing a short story, originally wanted it to be a bit longer, but whatev’s, called, “Another Day and No VTO” it was supposed to be a satire about working in a Amazon Warehouse, the location being called WTF8 and it sometimes delved into some deep level shit.
Dementia, mass shootings, and sex assault. But those were the dark little bits.
On upside we had haunted robots, Hunger Games styled Candy Parades, Sentient furbies, and shit just going absolutely nuts on occasion. I was ramping up the crazy, and at the end of each part, had a poll with different options so people could vote on which one they liked that most.
It went pretty well, I’ve got all the files saved, so I might just slap that together and publish it as is.
Or not, I haven’t decided yet.
How I usually write is there’s usually a “Source”, a motivation so to speak that pops from a place or group, with the source, everything’s peachy, without the source, the project’s pretty much dead in the water.
Anyways, outside of that, everything’s going good. Can’t complain. I’ll do my best to keep everything updated, not rely on FB so much.

Can I tell you something?

I’m shy.
I know, I know… Let it sink in.
I’m normally a talkative person, at least, IĀ was a talkative person, then I had the accident, and… well, everything kind of shifted perspective.
Everything except one aspect of my life.
Writing, it’s been the one thing I can always come back to in case anything ever falls apart of if I need to vent, because off the internet, I don’t feel very powerful.
Even on the internet, I’m not some kind of Demiinfluencer, or star, or anything like that. I’m just me.
All I have are my stories to occupy my time with, and that’s it.
Seriously.
I used to think that all I needed was a bit of luck and persistance and things would work themselves out and for a long time, that’s exactly how I thought, I’m not exactly proud of the results, but I can say that for whatever reason, I have the skillset I do, because I persisted in writing.
Maybe it’s because I have a from of control over whatever happens, or lack of control if I get too deep into the story itself?
Or maybe it’s a god complex?
You know, where you can make or break anything with a few simple keystrokes?
Authors complex, or something, outside of writing, I’m just me.
And, through a lot of self reflection, a bunch of accidents, relationships, a fuck ton of sex, and more than one time where I’ve gotten blackout drunk, or been roofied, I’ve gotten to where I am… Whereever that is.
I’ve got a lot of victories on the board, but for some reason, they don’t feel like victories, they feel like just another day, another step forward, another clank of the gears in the great clockwork of the universe.
I mean, I feel appreciated at work, and sometimes at home, and for a while, I used to feel appreciated on the internet, and in some cases I still do.

Maybe I just want someone to love now a days.
Yeah, I think that’s it.
I need someone to love, someone to come home to and talk about my day and not feel like I’m about to be over taken by some inconsequential thing.
I thought I had that with Caasi, Ashley, and Sarah, and Amy.
Amy was a sweet woman, still is. Just… I wish things had worked out with her, I was actually making real progress with her, and… I just took too long.

There it is, the thing that’s bothering me.
Things taking too long. Maybe patience, or being too patient is the problem? I need to act, need to make impulsive, but smart, decisions! I need to get out there and make short work of supposedly long decisions! I need to put myself out i nthe sun and learn to live with whatever ashes it makes of me!
But… I’m too cautious.
Ever since the accident.

Ever since the accident, survival is the only thing that matters, everything else, including finding love, is secondary…
Kinda sad.

Old post from….. I dunno when.

Itā€™s finally off the ground, re-titled, ā€œEvolution of a Bloggerā€, covering posts from 2008 to 2016, and itā€™s hovering around 898 pages at THIS point. Good god, itā€™s FINALLY happening! See, I told you it would happen eventually, People Who Didnā€™t Believe Me! So far itā€™s taken me a total of 18 hours just getting everything into its own little place, and there is a LOT of spelling errors, grammatical corrections, punctuation problems, not to mention unnecessary text in places there shouldnā€™t be to be corrected, not to mention the separating of the posts themselves, making sure the titles of the years months blog post is indexed correctly in that years months table of contents, and just holy shit…. Just holy shit this is the first of four MiniBosses that Iā€™m up against.
I came up with this idea while I was still attending Victor Valley College, and Iā€™m thinking of adding my Facebook Notes to the collection as well, but I donā€™t want to go overboard, Nah, I donā€™t think I will.
Other Projects in the pipeline.
Iā€™m scouring Blake and Iā€™s old chat log archive from yahoo messenger for any kind of short story and just random blurb thatā€™s interesting enough to qualify as a short story, and so far Iā€™ve manage to track down the book summaries, the TRUE beginning of the fourth book, a detailed synopsis of book three, 7 or 8 short story ideas, and there is so much more to go! Not to mention my own short story collection here on Facebook as well, in fact, I was about to get started on writing a post on wordpress when I remembered a short story I had written for Maddie K.Ā called ā€œThe Ugly Pumpkinā€ that was total badassery, true, it only had a few parts to it, but I remember having so much passion for those kinds of stories, where there was a real person by whom I was inspired to write a story, to use them as a muse, that energy behind it!
Plus, Halloween was right around the corner, so that story ended up being pretty cathartic for a number of reasons.
Using Createspace.com to make a beach out of a mountain range.
But, So far? Iā€™ve managed to knock out a number of titles on Amazon using a fun little site called Createspace.com, itā€™s fast, easy and free to use! Best of all? you have the option of either a 35% or a 70% Royalty on all of your titles, multiple avenues of distribution, they donā€™t force you to pay them to pay for publishing, but rather, give you the option to pay for a professional to design your books cover, not to mention the ability to publish Music CDs or DVDs from their site as well!
Here are my published works, complete with links!
Wrath of Puppy Monkey Baby (Everyone loves this one for some reason.)
Messages to a Really Bad President (Still need to get rid of the old version)
The Debate of Factions (Bush Era Politics and Smoke Monsters)
The Six Strings of the Highlanders Guitar (Story about Family…. a REALLY Fucked up family.)
Songs of the Soul (My big ass book of lyrics) Manliest Diary in the world (Literally a diary for boys.)
One Shots ā€” Army of the Incomplete (A Collection of Short Stories Iā€™ve written over the years.)
And if you search up Dorikame on Amazon, youā€™ll most likely see these, written by Blake Frazee and myself and published using Xlibris, and for future reference, we will be using Create space for the Revamp of the first book, titled ā€œDorikame Saga: Birth of Change, Liory King Editionā€ with additional content, a deeper story-line, and just… better everything mixed in with the original book yā€™all love so much! We will also be using the Createspace platform for A slightly touched up version of Broken Omen as well as for books 3 through 10 of the Dorikame Saga.
The Dorikame Saga: Birth of Change
The Dorikame Saga: Broken Omen
Everything will be made available to be purchased in eBook format as well for Kindle or whatever yā€™all have. This includes everything that Iā€™ve written, ever, in the entirety that Iā€™ve been on the internet as far back as I can find it. you remember how I was talking about ā€œEoaBā€ Or Evolution of a Bloggerā€ being the first of four Mini bosses that Iā€™m tackling?
Well, here are the other three planned projects that qualify in order of size:
Minion Level:
270 Separate
One Shots – Lost and Forgotten
The Brothers Dorikame – Lost Legends
War of the Holos
Maslaā€™s Revenge
Normal Day
Shadow Heart
Rage of the Puppy Monkey Baby
Infinite Web
Miniboss Level
working title:
Okay, Cupid, tell me a love story
Diary of the Mad Twitter
Final Boss Level: Sogno Della Dinastia (Books 1 through 10)
The Dorikame Saga (Books 3 through ten)
My invisible Facebooking…
I am well aware that I havenā€™t been on Facebook as much as I probably should have, but at the same time, Iā€™ve been more active on twitter and YouTube, I havenā€™t been sharing my vids from YouTube as much lately because… For no real reason, really. Sometimes the videos are short, stupid, and have no purpose, and other times, I really do have things that are of relevance. Iā€™ve missed out on whatever weirdness is playing out here, partly because I really… just donā€™t care about that kind of thing, partly because Iā€™m very busy with before mentioned list of projects, writing, compiling, editing, formatting, publishing, that kind of thing, and partly because I just have better things to do. Yes, one could make the argument that could kind of make me a soulless irritating bastard for not liking whatever ā€œcat on a roombaā€ GIF you uploaded in response to someone making a tart comment about a picture of you eating McDonald’s in an ugly sweater while your boss was wearing a lampshade, drunk off their ass at an office Christmas party that no really cares about anymore, but thatā€™s your problem.
Look, i love yā€™all, I really do. Iā€™m just incredibly busy knocking these things out left and right. And while, yeah, internet drama is fun and all, after a while you just notice the same repetitive pattern of weird useless BS that repeats itself with a different flavor every time. Is it important? Of course, because it affects you or those close to oyu, or offends or excites you in one way or another. Is it worth investing your time in if you grabs your eye? Hey, you do you, if that makes you happy, go for it.
Personal Evolution
At the same time, we should take a long hard look at how weā€™re spending our time, and ask ourselves these following questions: Are we using it to the best of our ability? What productivity will come of it? Will we learn or practice a skill or trade from it? Will others find enjoyment out of it in their own ways?
If the answer to all or most of those questions is yes, then by all means, go for it. Do what is important to you, if in the long run, you find yourself in a corner, just do what comes naturally to vent off the steam, get back to your happy place, and move forward. I see this all the time on twitter, teens and young adults getting mad about things from days or weeks ago that they just found out about, and doing their best to try and find a way to make said person feel like an idiot about it. Yeah, to some extent, itā€™s important for John ā€œI keep my kids imprisonedā€ Whatshisfuckface to be called out on his bullshit, but if you keep your focus on the stuff that makes you angry? Then I have to ask you, ā€œWhy are you so focused on it?ā€ Why focus on the anger and resentment and the fear that will nail your self confidence to the floor and never let up?
I ask these questions, because for the longest time, I was that teen, then young adult, and now that Iā€™ve had some time (Two months, lmao, thank you Great Lakes Naval RTC, you taught me many a thing.) to REALLY think about everything. Every single thing that brought me to that point. I thought about what it was that everyoneā€™s so very angry about, what weā€™re all so happy about, what makes the world go round and round, and I think Iā€™ve found the answer.
Why weā€™re angry: Weā€™re angry because of the things we canā€™t change but want to change. Weā€™re like ants trying to push a ping pong ball up a little mole hill. Individually, a single ant cant do much, but with the support of others, we really can push that ping pong ball over the hill, and get the change we want. Why weā€™re so happy: Because of the many different celebrations in our lives, celebrating that which elevates us or makes us feel good about ourselves or others is very important, (No shit). Love, birth, discovery, recovery, rehabilitation, reaching our destination on whatever path we hold dear? All of those are reasons to be so very happy!
What makes the world go round: Love, joy, progress, forward momentum that never ceases. We are a collection of people, each of us facing a variety of directions, often times, the directions we face are different from those right next to us, and vice versa, and it may seem like the directions anyone of us is facing, is backwards to another person, but regardless of what direction we are looking towards, we always face forward. Am I stating that every path or facing direction is a healthy one? Nope. Am I stating that one group of people is right over another? Nope. All Iā€™m saying is that the journey forward can face any direction it wishes, and whether or not the destination is good or bad is just another determining factor in our own personal evolution’s.
Big ass thank you to everyone in my life thatā€™s helped me, influenced me, that Weā€™ve talked, conversed in one way or another, or we interacted a few times. All of you are truly amazing people, and believe me, Iā€™ve tried coming up with a list of peeps, trust me, but there are too many to name and I just donā€™t want to snub anyone or have yā€™all feel left out.
Peace.
——————–
Update:
I’m now working at Amazon full time, having become a blue badge, things are getting interesting, and I’m pretty happy, I’m guessing this post was written way the fuck in 20…18, had to re-read some of the stuff. Anyways, things are good, God, I really need to get all of those drafts posted.
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