Deep thinking

I would think that life is a bit easier for you since you’ve got a car and a way to get about, that you don’t have to walk everywhere, you’ve got friends and family that’d love to hear from you. That you don’t live in a house that bounces between moods like a pinball machine.
I can’t pretend like I understand everything that must be running through your mind at a given point, the wage gap, the in equality, the looming threat of not feeling like your measuring up and the put upon pressure by other women to live up to a societal beauty standard that has you constantly judging yourself.
I wish I had the ability to go back in time with the knowledge I have and relive the past and be able to affect it in a positive way. I think about the good moments, the bad, the moments where nothing seems to make sense, and often wonder what a world without racism would look like, a world without evil and anger and hatred. I wonder if that world even exists, because no matter how perfect any system actually is, eventually there will be a crack in it, and in that small divide it would simply grow larger.
I wonder about how it is that despite everything we’ve been through, the smaller moments in time or the larger seem to pass us be without us even noticing, as if we are somehow in between, small enough not to see those larger moments happen, but large enough to not notice the smaller ones. Maybe it’s just that we lack that observational prowess that others seem to have?
I mean, we can look at a picture of a woman or a man all we want to imagine what life looks like through their eyes, try to visualize what they think, see, feel, what the small moments look like to them when they are being who they are in the public eye, like, who are they?
How did they live as a child?
What friends did they make?
Who was they’re first love?
Did they ever get into any fights as a kid?
What about imaginary friends?
Did they’re parents stay together? Get divorced?
Things like that..
How do people see me? How do they see you?
If they didn’t know who we are, how we think, why we think the way we do, how things effect us differently…
I have plenty of time to think of these random thoughts, and maybe people see me as boring or ineffectual to the larger picture that life paints.
Sometimes it seems a little much on the brain, or gets discounted, but my thoughts, and yours are as valid as they ever were.
To be responsible for one’s ideas, or for the ideas of others, or inspire a bit of change, is to think yourself a leader of some sort.
Maybe I’m just meant to be a hermit or something, to constantly shut myself away and think of great philosophies that seem crazy to others but somewhere down the line make more sense when those ideas and lines of thought connect deeper than they should?
Maybe I’m meant to play the fool and let people guide me to where they may s I can learn and grow as a person. Because that’s something you never stop doing, you never stop learning.
I will never really know what it’s like to be a woman in its entirety, because I am a man, just as you won’t completely know what it’s like to be a man because you are a woman.
We can only learn through spending time with the other gender and learn bits and pieces of that experience, but we can’t experience the psychology or the emotions attached directly to that.
We can experience them as outside observers, from a first person perspective?
Unless we underwent the transformation ourselves, we’d never truly know.
It’s just like the misconception that black or white folk have it easier or harder in life, simply because of their genetic make up, while, both yes and no. Each side has experienced the same thing, just in different eras of the world.
So, every race has experienced and employed slavery, discrimination, exclusion, and pretty much insulted each other at some point, either against itself, or against another race, like, every single one.
I read in an article that African Americans are by far the most displaced in the world, subconsciously, whether you want to admit or not, you want to go to Africa and see where your ancestors came from, and reconnect.
The fucked up part is that Africans themselves, in some percentage of the population or another, view you with some level of discrimination and will always think you just as Americans.
Just a small percentage anyways.

It’s the same with me, I inherently want to go to Ireland visit county cork and the Glenn and the green rolling hills and experience going to a pub and feeling like I belong there. But for whatever reason, I know that I won’t be able to.
the difference being, and the divider on that similarity is that your ancestors were taken from their home, where as mine wanted a better life for themselves then they were having.

Yet, in the history of every country, their are immigrants, refugees, internal struggles for dominance, political and financial gain, stories of love, war, loss, and revolution in the constant. There are stories of personal, societal, and structural evolution that are hard fought and won, but not without their losses.
Maybe after a while, people get tired of fighting with each other and with themselves and just agree to try and get along.

Author: Morgan Gavin

Author, Youtuber: YT/dr3arms, Universal Receiver at Amazon, all around chill guy, I talk about trendy things and mocha lott- LIES! I talk about whatever I want. Lol?

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