New Job! And god knows what else.

First off, it’s fucking freezing in that place, god why is it so fucking cold!?
Because it deals with food, and the cold is pretty much the only complaint I have about the place, outside of that, HomeChef is easy work for good pay, and I’m more than happy with it.
Relationship wise, I am with a Lovely woman by the name of Danyelle R, and do plan on properly prosing to her with bended knee, ring, and what have you… But there are some rough patches here or there that I’ll just let slide for now, and hopefully those areas are taken care of.

As for the state of the world?
Pandemic? Normal life at this point, we’ve essentially got Mother Nature going into overdrive clapping peoples asses left and right that somehow needed to go, and we’re trying to prevent as much death as possible.
But the Reapers Timing is the Reapers Timing, God says you go?
your ass is gone.
But, I’m Vaccinated, Booster shot ,and so is Danyelle as far as I can tell, so that’s a good thing. There’s been a lot on my mind as of late that I’ve been trying to sus out for a bit, and that whole thing has been kind of trippy.
i’ve been advised to start charging for readings, and maybe I should I do need to find ways of increasing my cash flow, so I need to start thinking more business minded, maybe finish up taking down notes for my tarot deck and look into getting some crystals, not that I believe in that kind of thing, I really just want a decent set popping about so I’m not so…. I don’t know….. just feels like something off with my life at the moment.
You know that feeling you get when it feels like the gears of your life are turning and you’re moving forward while not knowing it at the same time?
That’s how I’ve been feeling, especially with this relationship with Danyelle, things have been weirdly up and down and I’m kind of not digging the whole transactional part of things, but at the same time, I’m in this for the long haul, and we do love each other…. So there is that whole thing going on.

Not that’s it’s a thing, just… how it goes I guess

Really importantly before I get interrupted since that shit always fucking happens, but the world is larger than you, but you are the main character in your own story, so don’t ever give up on writing that next chapter in your life even if everyone else has written you out of theirs. They are living their own stories and sometimes parting ways is the best way to grow.

Sometimes people hate the idea of others being together for reasons that aren’t stable or understandable, because of whatever reason. And then there are those that the universe gave great talents but whatever reason gives them obstacles to overcome that they can’t, so they get left behind and forgotten. Maybe that’s what my life’s purpose is, just to be a teacher and never progress more than that? Maybe it is… I’ve constantly given up on myself to the point where any time I get the least bit interested in something other people usually are the first to flip out about it because of their own personal fears. So I have to usually bend my life to suit their personal needs, and I’m no longer sure of what way I should face, but I know that any direction I face is always forward.

you never know what kinds of people you’ll meet in life, and regardless of the situation, you have to give them a little bit of patience before figuring out what role they play in your life.

No matter what, never give up. I wish I could get passed whatever’s holding me back, and maybe learning to let go and move forward is the best way to go about that.

What is love? This ain’t it.

I’ve been in 18 relationships, three of them serious, two ending at the proposal stage.
I am currently engaged to a woman who I met at LGB8,

Despite everything, I love her, and she loves me. Though everyone seems to think she’s using me for one reason or another, and I’ve pretty much called her out on a number of things I had found sketchy as hell, and we’ve worked our way through them.
But I love her, always have, always will, and I promised her I’d never give up on her, regardless of how bad things get, and I think she hasn’t really had that assurance of a healthy relationship before, where things aren’t rocky, someone’s just not using her for sex, or not being insulting to her in one fashion or another.
Maybe it’s taking us so long to meet up because that’s what we’ve set the date as when I propose to her, or maybe it’s just that I’m at the age where, it was luck of the draw.
Maybe there’s a whole bunch of things I’m aware of yet that I just need to let play out in order to get the whole picture before anything really clicks into place.

Thing is, I know my worth, and I know what fuels me up, so that I can do great things, and it’s not as if she’s playing me or anything… Hopefully. This has been incredibly hard on me, and although it’s a giant pain in the ass sometimes…. I’m keeping my word to her, and maybe she’s trying to see how durable that word is?
We’re both working really hard to figure things out and be better for each other

…. Love is love, and I love her, she loves me. That’s all that matters, that’s all I see. I love you baby boo.

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