I’ve been in 18 relationships, three of them serious, two ending at the proposal stage.
I am currently engaged to a woman who I met at LGB8,
Despite everything, I love her, and she loves me. Though everyone seems to think she’s using me for one reason or another, and I’ve pretty much called her out on a number of things I had found sketchy as hell, and we’ve worked our way through them.
But I love her, always have, always will, and I promised her I’d never give up on her, regardless of how bad things get, and I think she hasn’t really had that assurance of a healthy relationship before, where things aren’t rocky, someone’s just not using her for sex, or not being insulting to her in one fashion or another.
Maybe it’s taking us so long to meet up because that’s what we’ve set the date as when I propose to her, or maybe it’s just that I’m at the age where, it was luck of the draw.
Maybe there’s a whole bunch of things I’m aware of yet that I just need to let play out in order to get the whole picture before anything really clicks into place.
Thing is, I know my worth, and I know what fuels me up, so that I can do great things, and it’s not as if she’s playing me or anything… Hopefully. This has been incredibly hard on me, and although it’s a giant pain in the ass sometimes…. I’m keeping my word to her, and maybe she’s trying to see how durable that word is?
We’re both working really hard to figure things out and be better for each other
…. Love is love, and I love her, she loves me. That’s all that matters, that’s all I see. I love you baby boo.