My cat is an asshole.

I have four cats, but Biscuit, my babygirl, is an asshole.
So, I go live on tiktok all the time, I’m a Tarot Reader, it’s what I do, what i’m good at, and to be honest, people love my readings, BUT, my cat is an asshole.
the reason why she’s an asshole is because she’ll never stop running in front of the camera.
Iknow, I know, there are more important topics to cover, deep philosophies to unravel, and meandering, wandering, deep moments to discover…. but really?
My cat is an asshole.
I’m a guy that absolutely HATES interruptions, and while most of the time, Biscuit is pretty chill, it’s only when I’m live the little brat decides then and there to be as much of an egotistical little derp as humanly possible.
Felinely possible?

Here she is, plotting her next campaign of chaos.

The reason I’m choosing to focus of this four legged bastard is to point out a couple of things.
1. My cat is better then yours.
2. the level that your cat needs to be at is vastly higher in order to equip that +10 shield of assholery.
3. She is still, to this very moment, an asshole.

She, like most cats, is very independent, beautiful, attentive, obsessed, stalkerish, psychotic, unpredicatable, and a hairball machine gun. I have made several points ot this, but society as a whole, worships cats like gods.
The internet loves them.
Ancient Egyptians adore them.
Instagram and tiktok are havens of cat videos.
All hail Nyan Cat, the Rainbow shitting poptart cat hybrid that never leaves us be.
Also, Just to reiterate:

She is the chaos bringer.

The Destroyer of houseplants.

The librarian of my search history.

Her assholery knows no bounds!

All hail Queen Biscuit, long may she reign eternal in the halls of Valhalla, and as foretold long ago, to have been the scourge of curtains and tassels everywhere, she is warrior, goddess, royalty, feline fury incarnate, she is wrecker, distractor, slayer of socks, teaser of receipts, hider of glasses, and has as many names as there are stars in the sky. Fear her and her alone, for know thy words are but whispers in her ears, SHE IS BISCUIT!

Author: Morgan James Gavin

Author, Musician, Tarot Reader, Blogger, sex icon, all around chill guy. What's your dream?

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