Welcome to 2020, I’m your host, Dan Rather!

I talk about things, work, friends, projects, that kind of thing. Your kind of thing!

Holy shit, if he does NOT make that joke, I’m going to be so pissed.
So, how was your New years? Like mine, uneventful, kinda like the rest of the holidays, but I do have some slight changes to the usual programming. Annnnd that’s right… I keep forgetting that I have this thing, and rather than use  this  platform ot vent my various complaints and or treasures, I choose to instead post pointlessly bad videos and tweets that go unnoticed for a while and now I’m sad.
But, not anymore, thanks to the power of Arabian fucking coffee.
Yup.
It’s gon’ be like that today.
Anyways, I’ve been working my as off at amazon and aside from the ride situation changing for the better, apparrently, I now have a group I hang out with, well, I’ve got several groups I hang out with, but one more consistantly than the others. The weird thingis, I dunno how it all, oh wait- Yes, yes I do.
Think it might’ve been during that wonky period of time where I’m just extra flirty or something, happens every once in a while. But I just told this one gal, V, that I didn’t know what it was about her, but I liked her. And it’s true. There’s something about her I can’t put my finger on, but it’s there.
Anyways, I think I met her friend, A, first, and we had a quick conversation about something or other, then after shift, I talked her V, and then after that I introduced myself to I.
Weird thing is, thanks to I’s  wanting to hang out after shift, I now have a group of peeps That I hang out with after shift. Which is refreshing, but at the same time a bit worrying. Now, don’t get me wrong, these women are fucking amazing, and I’m really thankful I’m friends with them.
Just old paranoias and what not.
The reason I flit from group to group has something to do with a fear of rejection if interest in a gal is expressed, and then it just becomes slightly awkward, so I subconsciously fade away for a few weeks to let things cool day and act as if it’s just normal.
It’s the built up anxiety of repeated rejections and the knowledge and slight annoyance that that’s just going to be a part of things. And I really love working for Amazon.
But it really is a small town unto itself, so there is lies the problem, or, I don’t think it’s a problem, just something I’m slowly but surely pushing through.
2020 is going to be a new year, I’m no longer attached to Ashley, though the memories are bittersweet, they are slowly fading into the hazy fog that is the past.
Though I don’t believe I’m ready for dating, my subconscious has other ideas, and I’ve been noticing slight changes in my behaviour that supports that theory.
At the same time, I really do need to have some kind of social life, so if hanging out with friends after work is the way to do that, who am I to complain?
Besides, love is love, though it might be unreliable, love always finds a way. And just like every Jurassic Park movie, love is the T-Rex that will fuck yo sadness up in terrifying and hilarious ways.
Well, might as well dive into this. Or not, I’m still trying to sort everything out myself, but I think my problem is I over think things, and sometimes, I just need to dive into the deep end, and say “Fuck logic, I will enjoy mustard and toast at the same time!” Or maybe that’s my subconscious way of trying to deflect from the realization I might just have feelings for someone, and I’m slowly ramping up to asking them out.
The weird part is that it won’t be over a dating app. Which is just a fucking thing of its own.

That aside, I’ve started working on weird little pipe cleaner figures I like to call Piplaeners, why? Well… I don’t know why, but there awesome, and I’m slowly world building with every one that I create. Let’s see if I can pull a few up.80831662_471927350176422_7036172946527748096_n80900903_834241123681085_7729425855453069312_n80811702_2546410082263326_6814933365725069312_n80697408_3717571861618355_8067890323717619712_n80272528_590025335152853_5579368598624796672_n80357608_2566402456747613_7203153398026207232_n

I really like making these. They honestly don’t take that long to make and I’ve gotten down to a science, but so far, I’ve got the Golden King, The Red Queen, the Cursed Prince, the Queens Guard, and Dequadra.
Haven’t figured that one out yet. And it’s my newest work too! I’m also working on a massive one and I’m still planning out, and with every Piplaener made, I discover new ways of making them sturdier, I might actually have something going here!
Kind of exciting when you think about it!

Youtube’s still a thing, and I’ve now got a podcast going, which, I should really get cracking on the next episode, god I’m so bad at procrastinating…

OH MY FUCKING GOD

I was thinking about the grand scope of the universe and why it was the squirrels get the best stick in life, like an ACTUAL fucking stick, I mean, if it were an actual FUCKING STICK that’d be questionable, because then you’d see sweet old ladies screaming for their lives with bags of broken crackers, all the while a fuck ton of squirrels with oddly bloody twigs would be chasing her, and you KNOW shit’s about to go down when you see that kind of bullshit happen.

I once saw an octopus. No reason really, it was just there, and I was having the time of my life just looking at this fucking thing, and I was like, “Hey, octopus.” And the thing did say a word, because it has an ass mouth. That’s right, you heard, Octopi have ass mouths, they can be masters of talking shit, because of their ass mouths, and there’s nothing you or I can really do about it.

There’s such a thing as redundant torture, where you do something utterly inane to someone else over a large or short period of time, and they’ll finally be all, “Hey, what the fuck.” All calm like, but you know deep down they’re sad.
Or… something, I don’t fucking know.

Maybe we’re all just in a simulation and the robots are the real players here, because that’d be absolutely amazing, if ready player one wasn’t about the time space-continuum because a vacation inditing the mass roach riot of 20:14 military time, because I like fucking with people’s perception of things every now and then. It’s just a thing I do, you know how I know? Because you aren’t me, and even if you were, I’d still be the one writing this fucking thing, so you can’t stop me no matter who you are!
Yes, I ripped that from Ace venture, which is honestly my favorite movie of all time.

I don’t wonder why time traveling eggs don’t time travel, they’d be too chicken by the end of it. Ha.

Dumb jokes for smart people include:
1. My dating life.
My hair line.
The fact I more famous than a regular potato.
Every knows a regular potota. Or potato.
Fuck pototas. They’ve done nothing for humanity.

Those assholes.
This blog was brought to you by the overwhelming need to fuck around on the interenet and write some weird bullshit that’ll make you question if I’m high or not.
I am 6″5 or six foot five inches. Why does my jaw feel like a peice of toast ready to pop the fuck out of a toaster? Oh yeah, gravity. I keep forgetting that’s a thing.
Kinda like Brangolina. Or Bracheal.
Or Bennigan’s.

We aren’t alone in the universe?

We aren’t the only living things in the universe?
Our kind and loving god, in his many forms has more than one pet project?
Well shit.
Time to Naruto run.
So, aliens are real, which means Roswell actually happened, and that what no blimp.
So… fuck it.

I try to self motivate, caffeine usually helps out, gets me ready and pumped for the day, and sometimes chatting with Nigel or Gonzo helps out a bunch. But those chats are rare.

Annnnnd that was disappointing. So, let’s knock this out, or something, because now i’ve got shit piling up in my brain pan that’s worth venting about or something, and yes, fuck the time and dates about when the various part of this fucking thing were updated, because if there’s one thing I love, IT FUCKING INCONSISTENCY. Or incompetence.
Maybe incontinence?
Continents?
Fuck it, inconsistent incompetence incontinence stricken continents.
So, basically, a bunch of disorganized, dumb fucks who can’t control their shitting forming a country.

I know what companies going to skyrocket to the top!

Anyways, Peak 19 is here, and so are new hires, and THERE ARE A TON popping into work everyday, and some of them are memorable, and others are… well, slightly less memorable.
Yesterday, for instance, there were a few Day 1’s trying to open their lockers, Helena and… the other one, wish I’d gotten her name. Anyways, Helena was a bit more memorable because… just holy shit, she just was, they were both having trouble opening their lockers so I helped them out.
nothing special, just something to help them along, y’know?
First gal, Helena, short black gal, based on her energy level, I’d say between 18 and 24, thin frame, glasses, gauges in her ears, frosted tips,  short hair, I’m guessing she works in In/Outbound.
Second gal, didn’t get her name, roughly the same description, no glasses, either Caucasian or Latina, no gauges, just a bit shy,  they were both awesome.
The reason why I say they were both memorable is because there was something unique about them, something interesting, eye catching, a character unique to themselves.
True, there are tons of people I work with that are memorable, each with their own traits that stand out from the rest of the crowd, and I might start talking about them more, because… I don’t know, I seriously need to start blogging more…
Seems like the safest route, or at least, I’m thinking it’s the safest route for me to keep my own energy up.
But the reason the second gal was so interesting was she asked what my gmail was… normally, no one would bat an eye, but she… something caught her eye.
Kinda interesting in a way.

Outside of that, things are going well, because of Peak the managers popped into every department to make sure every part of the place was staffed to account for what I’m assuming is the safe guarding of productivity, so I was placed on 2nd floor Jackpot, and told to singulate the unsingulated. Which is less a really horrifying sex act involving two hornets nests and a pile of half melted Lego bricks and more making sure that the work pops in lengthwise, with no side by sides, and the stickers facing up.
Which, first time around, didn’t know what I was doing, the second time, nailed it LIKE A BAWS.

First half score: .20 percent, only a hundred boxes made it through. I have a feeling that it would’ve been a bit lower had I made sure all the stickers were up. But that’s a REALLY good score, considering the second half was 200 boxes, and I was thinking, dudes and dudettes need to step up their game. So, I’m predicting I might get staffed there again for either first or second half, depends on what’s going down.
One of the newer Jammers, Gonna call her D, who was staffed in the Singulators, got bored of it. She’s used to popping about, talking, doing her own thang. I dunno, kind of disappointed, but Jamming’s not for everyone, are the benefits to Jamming? Yeah, you get to learn about another aspect of the FC that you had no clue about.
Is it draining, yes.
But is the trade off worth it?
Fuck yas.

Everyone starts off White Badge, no exceptions, no matter where they staff you, everyone starts in the basics and then you work your way up. For me, it was receiving, I worked my ass off, got booped to Water spidering, worked my ass off there and eventually knocked out an application to Jam team, made the cut, learned the lay of the land rather quickly, learned a few other aspects, kept motivated, kept knocking out work. Caught the eyes of the peeps that needed a few good workers, and so on and so forth.
Will I eventually knock out Learning Ambassador? Yes, I want to, love teachings others, filling up their intellectual gas tanks with the rocket fuel of the gods!

Eventually, I want to make P.A, but I’m kind of hesitant about it, you see, being PA means early starts and late stops, meaning I’d have to find someway of getting to work earlier, not to mention data management and information analytics. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for all of that, and my shit was on point when it came to knocking notes down during the three day course.
But i needed that information to sink the hell in. Passing the class, not what I’m interested…. actually, yes. I need to stop taking the easy route and stimulate my brain in a way to the point where I feel fulfilled, I feel motivated and excited to try and light up some part of my brain with new information. Because at the moment, I’m just focusing on the physical part, and like any body, there are two sides, the central nervous system and the physical body. One can’t function without the other, ain’t possible, you can either be a really strong dumb ass or Stephen Fucking Hawking.
But to get the best of both worlds?
Y’need to be a really strong Stephen Fucking Hawking.

One more thing, so in regards to the above mentioned really strong Stephen Hawking, there’s a massive dude, named Mark, maybe eight or nine years older then me, the dude is fucking ripped, like diamonds edge ripped, ripped so hard he looks like a PS1 character made physical manifest. The later years, not… just shut the fuck up.
The dude’s a PA and really fucking ripped, the best of both worlds, so he’s just… fucking ripped.

Okay, in regards to an earlier part, Yes, Jam is awesome, y’get some tech on the floor, stay mobile, and get shit done.
Can it be an isolating thing? Yes.
the point being if you keep yourself motivated, occupied, focused on something during the down time, then you can knock it out like a snapped fart in an elevator.

Old post from….. I dunno when.

It’s finally off the ground, re-titled, “Evolution of a Blogger”, covering posts from 2008 to 2016, and it’s hovering around 898 pages at THIS point. Good god, it’s FINALLY happening! See, I told you it would happen eventually, People Who Didn’t Believe Me! So far it’s taken me a total of 18 hours just getting everything into its own little place, and there is a LOT of spelling errors, grammatical corrections, punctuation problems, not to mention unnecessary text in places there shouldn’t be to be corrected, not to mention the separating of the posts themselves, making sure the titles of the years months blog post is indexed correctly in that years months table of contents, and just holy shit…. Just holy shit this is the first of four MiniBosses that I’m up against.
I came up with this idea while I was still attending Victor Valley College, and I’m thinking of adding my Facebook Notes to the collection as well, but I don’t want to go overboard, Nah, I don’t think I will.
Other Projects in the pipeline.
I’m scouring Blake and I’s old chat log archive from yahoo messenger for any kind of short story and just random blurb that’s interesting enough to qualify as a short story, and so far I’ve manage to track down the book summaries, the TRUE beginning of the fourth book, a detailed synopsis of book three, 7 or 8 short story ideas, and there is so much more to go! Not to mention my own short story collection here on Facebook as well, in fact, I was about to get started on writing a post on wordpress when I remembered a short story I had written for Maddie K. called “The Ugly Pumpkin” that was total badassery, true, it only had a few parts to it, but I remember having so much passion for those kinds of stories, where there was a real person by whom I was inspired to write a story, to use them as a muse, that energy behind it!
Plus, Halloween was right around the corner, so that story ended up being pretty cathartic for a number of reasons.
Using Createspace.com to make a beach out of a mountain range.
But, So far? I’ve managed to knock out a number of titles on Amazon using a fun little site called Createspace.com, it’s fast, easy and free to use! Best of all? you have the option of either a 35% or a 70% Royalty on all of your titles, multiple avenues of distribution, they don’t force you to pay them to pay for publishing, but rather, give you the option to pay for a professional to design your books cover, not to mention the ability to publish Music CDs or DVDs from their site as well!
Here are my published works, complete with links!
Wrath of Puppy Monkey Baby (Everyone loves this one for some reason.)
Messages to a Really Bad President (Still need to get rid of the old version)
The Debate of Factions (Bush Era Politics and Smoke Monsters)
The Six Strings of the Highlanders Guitar (Story about Family…. a REALLY Fucked up family.)
Songs of the Soul (My big ass book of lyrics) Manliest Diary in the world (Literally a diary for boys.)
One Shots — Army of the Incomplete (A Collection of Short Stories I’ve written over the years.)
And if you search up Dorikame on Amazon, you’ll most likely see these, written by Blake Frazee and myself and published using Xlibris, and for future reference, we will be using Create space for the Revamp of the first book, titled “Dorikame Saga: Birth of Change, Liory King Edition” with additional content, a deeper story-line, and just… better everything mixed in with the original book y’all love so much! We will also be using the Createspace platform for A slightly touched up version of Broken Omen as well as for books 3 through 10 of the Dorikame Saga.
The Dorikame Saga: Birth of Change
The Dorikame Saga: Broken Omen
Everything will be made available to be purchased in eBook format as well for Kindle or whatever y’all have. This includes everything that I’ve written, ever, in the entirety that I’ve been on the internet as far back as I can find it. you remember how I was talking about “EoaB” Or Evolution of a Blogger” being the first of four Mini bosses that I’m tackling?
Well, here are the other three planned projects that qualify in order of size:
Minion Level:
270 Separate
One Shots – Lost and Forgotten
The Brothers Dorikame – Lost Legends
War of the Holos
Masla’s Revenge
Normal Day
Shadow Heart
Rage of the Puppy Monkey Baby
Infinite Web
Miniboss Level
working title:
Okay, Cupid, tell me a love story
Diary of the Mad Twitter
Final Boss Level: Sogno Della Dinastia (Books 1 through 10)
The Dorikame Saga (Books 3 through ten)
My invisible Facebooking…
I am well aware that I haven’t been on Facebook as much as I probably should have, but at the same time, I’ve been more active on twitter and YouTube, I haven’t been sharing my vids from YouTube as much lately because… For no real reason, really. Sometimes the videos are short, stupid, and have no purpose, and other times, I really do have things that are of relevance. I’ve missed out on whatever weirdness is playing out here, partly because I really… just don’t care about that kind of thing, partly because I’m very busy with before mentioned list of projects, writing, compiling, editing, formatting, publishing, that kind of thing, and partly because I just have better things to do. Yes, one could make the argument that could kind of make me a soulless irritating bastard for not liking whatever “cat on a roomba” GIF you uploaded in response to someone making a tart comment about a picture of you eating McDonald’s in an ugly sweater while your boss was wearing a lampshade, drunk off their ass at an office Christmas party that no really cares about anymore, but that’s your problem.
Look, i love y’all, I really do. I’m just incredibly busy knocking these things out left and right. And while, yeah, internet drama is fun and all, after a while you just notice the same repetitive pattern of weird useless BS that repeats itself with a different flavor every time. Is it important? Of course, because it affects you or those close to oyu, or offends or excites you in one way or another. Is it worth investing your time in if you grabs your eye? Hey, you do you, if that makes you happy, go for it.
Personal Evolution
At the same time, we should take a long hard look at how we’re spending our time, and ask ourselves these following questions: Are we using it to the best of our ability? What productivity will come of it? Will we learn or practice a skill or trade from it? Will others find enjoyment out of it in their own ways?
If the answer to all or most of those questions is yes, then by all means, go for it. Do what is important to you, if in the long run, you find yourself in a corner, just do what comes naturally to vent off the steam, get back to your happy place, and move forward. I see this all the time on twitter, teens and young adults getting mad about things from days or weeks ago that they just found out about, and doing their best to try and find a way to make said person feel like an idiot about it. Yeah, to some extent, it’s important for John “I keep my kids imprisoned” Whatshisfuckface to be called out on his bullshit, but if you keep your focus on the stuff that makes you angry? Then I have to ask you, “Why are you so focused on it?” Why focus on the anger and resentment and the fear that will nail your self confidence to the floor and never let up?
I ask these questions, because for the longest time, I was that teen, then young adult, and now that I’ve had some time (Two months, lmao, thank you Great Lakes Naval RTC, you taught me many a thing.) to REALLY think about everything. Every single thing that brought me to that point. I thought about what it was that everyone’s so very angry about, what we’re all so happy about, what makes the world go round and round, and I think I’ve found the answer.
Why we’re angry: We’re angry because of the things we can’t change but want to change. We’re like ants trying to push a ping pong ball up a little mole hill. Individually, a single ant cant do much, but with the support of others, we really can push that ping pong ball over the hill, and get the change we want. Why we’re so happy: Because of the many different celebrations in our lives, celebrating that which elevates us or makes us feel good about ourselves or others is very important, (No shit). Love, birth, discovery, recovery, rehabilitation, reaching our destination on whatever path we hold dear? All of those are reasons to be so very happy!
What makes the world go round: Love, joy, progress, forward momentum that never ceases. We are a collection of people, each of us facing a variety of directions, often times, the directions we face are different from those right next to us, and vice versa, and it may seem like the directions anyone of us is facing, is backwards to another person, but regardless of what direction we are looking towards, we always face forward. Am I stating that every path or facing direction is a healthy one? Nope. Am I stating that one group of people is right over another? Nope. All I’m saying is that the journey forward can face any direction it wishes, and whether or not the destination is good or bad is just another determining factor in our own personal evolution’s.
Big ass thank you to everyone in my life that’s helped me, influenced me, that We’ve talked, conversed in one way or another, or we interacted a few times. All of you are truly amazing people, and believe me, I’ve tried coming up with a list of peeps, trust me, but there are too many to name and I just don’t want to snub anyone or have y’all feel left out.
Peace.
——————–
Update:
I’m now working at Amazon full time, having become a blue badge, things are getting interesting, and I’m pretty happy, I’m guessing this post was written way the fuck in 20…18, had to re-read some of the stuff. Anyways, things are good, God, I really need to get all of those drafts posted.

It’s been a minute or two, hasn’t it?

So, let’s dial back the weird as fuck shit for a second and talk about what’s going on in my neck of the woods, why?
because obviously, what’s happening with me is INFINITELY MORE ENTERTAINING THAN WHATEVER WEIRD BULLSHIT I KEEP COMING UP WITH.

That was way too many Caps in the sentence, I seriously only meant to have the infinitely in caps and nothing else.
Okay, so I’ve been working the night shift at Amazon again, which is AMAZING, because for the first time, I’m not completely screwing the pooch, my rates up, I’m regularly talking to hot chicks with no intention flirting with them (kay, I lied, maybe a little. Come on, they’re hot chicks!), I made friends with a Little Person, and he is AWESOME, and almost everyday, EVERYDAY, there’s been a shortage of work because of how great both Day and Night shifts been.

But therein lies the problem, Amazon keeps hiring on new people, despite the lack of work… So does this mean we’re looking at another Mass Hire/Fire situation, where after a few months, they’re going to let us go? hopefully not, took me long enough to snag this one again.

The reason I’m asking, is because there was a strange announcement at stand up, part of one of the programs they’ve got set up, to transfer to other locations, and I’m starting to understand why now, but at the same time, I’m not going to worry about it. Or should I?

With the increasingly apparent lack of work coming in, and more early leaving times, maybe we’re doing our jobs too well? Or is it that there’s going to be a new Cross dock location opening up soon, so more work is being sent over there and we’re being left with the overflow? I dunno, but it is a bit worrying to say the least. And I’m just spinning my wheels here on the subject, there could be a whole bunch of things I could be getting wrong here…

Anyways, nuff about that!

What else is happening?
Oh, right!
For about a week or so, my brain’s been stuck on the idea that fish are naked.
And they are.
But, my best bud Blake pointed out they aren’t.
Know why?

They’re dressed to the gills!

I know, completely stupid, but it’s the best connection i’ve made, but really. Fish are naked.
also preordered MK 11, I’m not great at fighting games, but I’ve been wanting to play Mortal Kombat again for some time, and 11 seems like a pretty good jumping point. There are a few characters that are Rushers, Zoners, and just plain Combo machines, so it’ll be cool to fuck around in practice mode to try and knock something out. 
I still haven’t finished Skyrim, I think I’m nearing the end of the main story, which is great, since in each Bethesda free roam game, I manage to kill off nearly all the not needed NPCs in the first go around, find the exploits, become suped up, and go on a in game murder spree the likes THAT instance of the game universe has never seen.
Smash Brothers still has my attention, mainly for the multiplayer aspect.
Splatoon 2 simply got boring.
Brawlhala has its moments.
I don’t bother with Onigiri anymore. Soon as it got to the “O NOEZ ANIME GIRL IN TROUBLE!” Trope, I stopped playing. I dunno know I’ve got trouble getting passed the whole “Strong Female Protagonist” thing, I personally think it’s great. Maybe it’s just a displacement of the previously natural story telling gender roles? where the male was the strong one, the female was the smart one, and the villains were just dumb asses with too much time on their hands and not enough porn?
Shit, I think that’s what Evil’s problem is just in general.
They can’t get laid, i mean, sex solves all the worlds problems, if just temporarily.
But, I’ve noticed the change myself in my own editing of Sogno Della Dinastia, with Divertenti Della Amuleto focusing on the female main character, I kind of have to make that shit work out, and so far, it’s doing a pretty good job of it.

speaking of writing, and snapping back to work, whenever there’s been a lag of work and I’ve had some time, a pen, and some scrap of paper laying around, I’ve drawn a quick picture, and started scribbling notes on it like a madman. Story plotting is kind of relaxing, breaking away from just standing there, feels like I’m recharging my batteries or something of the like.
So far, I’ve knocked of two of the little darlings:
”Azmael and the Chest of the Forever Coaled”
”Felix Hogbuny goes on Vacay”

Fun little exorcises.
Lets see, what else?

Oh, right, mah carpool buds, Paul, Joseph, and John.
Paul I’ve known for a while since Peak ‘18, great guy, passionate about work, we connect amazingly. Paul’s also a Gamer, which is awesome, since I like gaming too, and we sometimes talking about gaming. Yes, that was a dumb sentence. No, I’m not erasing it. Yes, you’re stuck with it. He’s got an amazing family, and really, that’s all I’m saying on that front.
Joseph? Also a great guy, has a faster sense of humor, good taste in music, likes to ask me random questions, and overall, he’s got a lot going for him! He too, Kicks the ass at work. That was worded weirdly. Joseph is… hard to explain exactly. He’s super intelligent, and I think it might be the super coffee wearing off at this point, but, yep, super intelligent. We all work well together, yeah, definitely the coffee wearing off.
John? Super chill guy, doesn’t say much, but doesn’t really need to when at work or when it’s just us carpooling. When the Turtles are carpooling? different story all together, the dude quips amazingly. We get along amazingly, and i’m going to have to write more about the other two just to give them all equal page time…
I call us the Turtles because we each encompass a different personality type.
Paul’s definitely Leonardo.
Joseph’s Donatello.
John’s Raph, he’s got a little bit of fire in him.
And I’m Michelangelo. Why? Mikey’s been my favorite. Also, I’m writing the post, so I’m Mikey.

Whatelse? Nothing of note, just been doing my own thing… Yes, I’m cutting this short.
Why?
The super coffee is wearing off, and I’m kind of getting bored of writing the post, plus, I’m hungry. Oh, so fucking hungry for breakfast. Not to mention, the more I write, the more I’ll have to edit. Peace!
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And so the Clock Spring of the Cumulative Human Psyche Snaps loose again.

First off, yay.
Another shooting.
Just, what the utter fuck.
I mean, really, so soon after 50 people died in a shooting spree that spanned two mosques in New Zealand, some random ass hat goes on a shooting spree inside a fucking train in a Dutch town Utrecht.
No deaths so far, thank god.
Wish I had more to say on the matter, but I don’t.
Except, fuck these motherfuckers that think this shit is okay. It ain’t.
Also, I thought I had some amazing insights with that long ass title, but apparently, I have the honest to god insights of a blind chimp tazing a gimp in the sack with a cattle prod, and unironically, they’re handcuffed to each other, so trust me when I say, I feel your pain.
If you’re wondering about the title, the theory is this:

The solar system is a big fucking clock, yes, I swear, I ain’t apologizing! Lol?
Lol.
Anyways, let’s try this again!
Okay, so, think of humanity as biological, disconnected clock, with each category of human being a kind of piece in the great engine of said clock. The clock spring is the sanity level of the whole thing, and the cumulative human psyche is the clock spring that binds us all together, and, as you might have noticed at concerts, we’re kind of easilly lead in sing alongs. So take that initial example and replace singing along to crappy Nickelback songs with the potential for violence.
The looser the clock spring, the less chance there is for people to lose their shit, take bath salts, and rip their room mates heart through their asshole and eat it in the name of Cthulu to prevent the end times. The tighter wound the clock spring, the closer people are to simply losing their shit and doing the afore mentioned heart eating.
So, when the clock spring of the cumulative human psyche is wound too tightly, it snaps outwards, and whatever category of human it hits, and it takes a very specific category of human for this to happen, that person or persons will lose their shit, plan some violence, and in most cases by the end of it, take their own life.
To which I say, well fuck, less ass hats that do these kinds of things, the better.
So, the question remains, how long will this snapping out of the clock spring band take?
Well, unfortunately, its been going on for quite a while, and Donald trump getting elected, took most of the bat shit crazy momentum out of the damned thing and for two years, only stupid dumb things have happened since Donald’s absorbing most of the crazy being sent out.
So, I’m guessing this fucking thing has been going for a good ten years?
So, you’re thinking, where’s the proof?
What’s the evidence that this thing exists, even if its a theoretical metaphysical entity who’s presence is only ever felt when some crazy shit goes down?
Every mass shooting. (Large impact)
Every dumb ass Florida Man/Woman story you read. (small impact)
Every dumb ass fake anger about social media influencers (Small to medium impact)
Every fucking thing Trump has said/done/tweeted since birth (small impact, absorbs the impact)
Anything that has to do with out of the ordinary, boom, proof of the Clock Spring theory, and yeah, not the most scientific, but how can you be more scientific about some massive, theoretical, metaphysical thing in our lives?

Point being, shit be cray cray, and getting sometimes less or more cray cray, depending on what brand of cray cray we’re dealing with.

Hello, my name is Morgan, I’m the DOVAHKIN!

Buuuut, that’s not what I’m going o talk about, afterall, it’s my blog, so whoop there it is! Happy Valentines day you sexy fucks.
There, did it.
Anyways, today I wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to, not talking about any kinds of heavy topics which will unnaturally devolve into a kind of idiot soup, as… Most of my blogs eventually do and I’ve already forgotten what it is I’m writing about because things and animals keep interrupting me. Fan fucking tastic.
I think given the blog pattern of each post, this is exactly what happens, I start in on a topic, and then, in one glorious moment of temporary self reflection I say to thee, “FUCKETH IT, I SHALL GOETH DOETH SOMETHING ELSETH!” And I know that’s not how it works out, but, let’s stay focused here.
Lately, I’ve been playing a SHIT TON OF SKYRIM for the Nintendo Switch, and I am fucking addicted…
To slaughtering every killable NPC and making game breaking weapons and armor that one shot most enemies like a son of a bit and making ridiculously leveled skill jumps, exploring new lands, murder punching every stupid face there till I get bored of murder punching people right in their stupid fucking faces, rinse and repeat.
But, I’ve done the murder punching bit OVER AND OVER AND OVER and THIS time around, I’ve actually started playing the game, or, at least, I will when I get the following enchantments on my gear:

Helm:
Magika
Magika Regen

Neck:
Barter
Lockpicking

Body:
Health
Resist Disease

Glove:
Carry Weight
Pickpocket

Ring:
Alchemy
Smithing

Boot:
Stamina
Sneak

Argonian Race Trait:
waterbreathing

(12 hours later. Not kidding, I got distracted by skyrim.)

So my thinking on this is that the Argonians, or skyrim’s version of the LIZARD PEOPLE are the only race in the game with natural Water Breathing, cause they’re fuckin’ Lizards. So, with enchanting at Level 100, that gives me access to Extra effect which allows me to put two enchantments on an item, therefor giving me 12 slots to put enchantments, so, use the Fortify Restoration glitch to make some fucking powerful potions, (we’re talking in the 200 billion percentile range here) enchant a set with fortify Alchemy, make a fortify Enchanting potion, and knock all those listed things out, though I am considering swapping out health for health Regen, because if my health is too high, or it doesn’t show the health increased by -10,000,000 or so, then the moment I take that gear off, I die. horribly.
My logic with the carry weight is that, well, I loot shit all the time, I’m a fucking thief in Skyrim, so I need my sneak, lock picking, and pickpocket to be fucking insane, and with INFINITE STAMINA my ass can run from one part of the map to the next without needing to take a break!
I think I spend nearly all my free time playing skyrim, mainly doing the Item Duplication glitch, which strangely enough, only seems to work in Whiterun, one of the first cities you come across.
I’ve tried playing the game normally, and for me, there is no normal way to play.
“But, YOU’RE RUINING THE GAME!” Am I?
for who, exactly?
you?
You aren’t playing my game, you’re playing a COPY of the game, so you play however YOU want, and I’ll play however I want. All I know is that my last five playthroughs ended with me slaughtering every killable NPC I came across and brutalizing the ones that couldn’t be killed. I must’ve killed nearly eight thousand guards alone.
So, this play through, I chose to play as an Argonian male named Dethbite. Because of course I did. I chose his coloring to be as bright as possible, why? Because in nature, in the wild, reptiles that have bright and beautiful coloring on their scales are known to be deadly as fuck.
And it’s fun as hell.
I would’ve played as one of the Elf or human races, but something about a Lizard man running around, shouting every city, hold, and farm to absolute death is just too fucking funny.
Should’ve named him Godzilla, LMAO.
Besides, I really want to one shot dragons, so that’s why I need smithing, ALTHOUGH I could just find the Absorb health enchantment and go fucking nuts on that, and somehow, in the last playthrough, i found something with the chaos enchantment, which has all three elemental attacks in it, and can literally fuck anyone’s day up. In a heartbeat.

(13 hours later. Again, not kidding.)

Update: I spent the better part of last night knocking out that level 100 Enchanting skill, and IT WAS WORTH IT. Got my carry weight up to 311 million, my health up to 200 million, and my stamina up to …. I don’t even know, but so far everything’s coming together like a BEAST! I’m so excited! Also, found an Alchemist in Markarth that I can’t outright kill. Which is a good thing, at least Bethesda had the foresight to make one of the little bastards unkillable.
This means she’s got a quest line, this also means she has a shit ton of alchemy ingredients that I can snag and clone like crazy to find every little combination, which is goooooooood.
I’ve also lost another Mercenary, so I’ve decided to get one of the unkillable NPC’s as my follower, which thank fucking god for that, because I found something out!
NPCs usually have a max carry weight of around 350 or so when trading items with them, BUT, if you simply have them pick items UP then they have no carry limit, so long as it’s one item at a time when doing the Duplication glitch.
right, also forget to add one or two things to that little bastard.
1. The trick to resetting the Item Dupe glitch is to go out and come back into the alcove again, but pick the items up yourself, this is especially useful if you want to place the items in another spot.

2. You don’t need to take the whole shebang of items from the follower to increase the number of items you want to clone, instead, take a max of 15 from them, and add it to the pile in the alcove, and just keep repeating this as needed, it saves a lot of time, and you actually end up knocking out a shit ton more picking everything up. Spent nearly an hour knocking out Gold Ingots, and I might just do the same for all the other items Craftables and whatnot.

Anyways, sorry for the late post, I just get incredibly distracted with other things. And I’ve been having trouble figuring out what to write about, so I figured I might as well write about whatever’s in front of me. And yes, before this gets preachy and idiotic- oh shit, too late- here’s something related to women:

I once asked an ex girlfriend if having boobs made standing up a challenge. She replied by asking how many times hurt mah balls just by walking. The lesson of the story being, that both PHYSICAL genders (fuck you for making me specify.) develop in ways that allow for… something… Optimum physiological development?
I mean, if that were true, women’d be able to shoot quills out of their breasts and ass cheeks as a self defense measure, and guys would have developed a bone covering for their balls, as well as a spine and tiny ribcage for their dicks.
Alrighty, nuff nightmare fuel, no matter how kinky the porcupine fetish might seem, probably not worth it.
I mean, “Pintits” would probably be a better movie series than “Hellraiser” right?

Dear Donald John Trump, you sack of shit.

Side note to my followers:
1. This isn’t directed at you.
2. I really am going to send this.
3. I get distracted incredibly easy.
4. I’ve never liked Trump, even before he became a household name. And sold shitty steaks. And declared bankruptcy 13 times.
5. All you are awesome in your own unique ways, and I really do appreciate you all.

UPDATE: I ended up not sending it. Just feels good to write. No matter how I feel about the man, I must… blah blah blah morality and all of that.

Dear Donald “Mushroom Dick” Trump,
First off, fuck you.
Secondly, fuck you harder.
Thirdy, fuck you with a rotating cactus at 10,000RPM.
You are a fucking disgrace, you abhorrent, psychotic, bed wetting, sociopathic, tax hiding, shit faced, no name, low rated, used car salesman mime fucker. I’m sorry, that would be an insult to Mimes, cause at least Mimes know when to shut the fuck up.
Hell, do you know how much virulent anger, and dislike I have for you? Not enough dislike that I’m gonna watch the world burn, but enough dislike to write out the word dislike three or four times, and I’ve already lost the thread, because how quickly I smell raisin bran, why do I smell raisin bran?

Holy shit, am I having a stroke?
I mean, does over caffeination lead to strokes?
I’m not even focused on the blog post anymore, right now I’m just trying to figure out just what the fuck is going on with my body, unless the dog farted and yeah, I know that blaming it on the dog is cliche as all fuck, you tanned escaped offspring of a bath salts addicted oompa loompa and a moldy as fuck cheetoh, but right now, the world and I have more important things to worry about, as I sit here, caffeinated out of my gourd, writing a semi distracted insult blog post to you, you fat cod swallow of a human being!

Just what the fuck was I angry about anyways?
It feels like I don’t have the reserve of deep swelling anger that I used to, I wonder why that is, I mean, it’s kind of like how you used to think you had a regular sized dick, and then reality proved otherwise, by having your face next to the definition of the word “Nanopenis” Because Micropenis was still large large a scope for you.
At least I can say without a doubt that I am very sorry I ever searched up Multipenis in googles image search, because you can’t unsee that bullshit, and HOW DOES THAT MAN MASTURBATE!?
Good god there are so many unanswered questions related to that guy. When he gets erections, does it look like, I dunno, some kind of fleshy dick based porcupine attached itself to his crotch and never let go!?

I’M TRULY SORRY FOR THIS LINE OF THOUGHT, BUT GOD DAMN IT, THESE ARE QUESTIONS THAT GOD ITSELF NEEDED TO HAVE US DISCOVER! Trump, like the multipeni’d man, you are a mushroom dicked freak of nature that somehow continues to function like a racist piece of shit that you are, and I’m back! I’m sorry, I had to just run that track till I got back to where I was going, and then I was happy again, because hey, progress right?

Anyways, I want a taco, not your problem, you ball of cancerous tumors interlocked into the somewhat distinct shape of a man, but… I really want some tacos.

Ball is life, but ball should not be life.

Just remember:
Ball is Life.
But, Ball should not BE Life.

What is the ball in your life?
The thing that you can’t resist going after when it’s thrown in front of you?
Netflix?
Facebook posts?
Clickbaity videos?
Gaming?
VTO?
Sex?
We all have a ball in our life, and much like the retriever, we can’t help but go after it, but at what point does it stop being just “Fetching the ball” and more letting the ball fetch us?
I struggled with this for a long time, and much like the dog playing fetch, I went after gaming like a madman, I’d spend days just playing the same game to death until I either got a new one or finished that one.
“Ball is life” isn’t just a meme to some people, it’s an addiction, a thing they can’t help not separating themselves from, merely because it’s thrown in front on them.
One of the many balls I’ve become resistant to fetching is gaming. Right now, I’ve my Switch right next to me in it’s dock, just sitting there. I know that I could be playing it right now, enjoying some time in either Smash Brothers Ultimate or Fortnite (fun game BTW) but really, I know that getting some game time in wouldn’t really be productive to my time. I’ve got a blog to run, and maybe sometime in the future,getting back to writing Sogno Della Dinastia.
What’s the Ball in your life?

Another “Ball is Life” story.
I’m a youtuber, and I used to upload Videos every chance I got, we’re talking every half hour, just whip out the phone, record a quick video, post it, and forget about it, lol! And I used to knockout shoutouts every 30 seconds on Vine, Twitter, and the such. That was my Ball, and the shout out requests were the people playing fetch with me.
At some point I realized that I didn’t need to fetch the ball all the time, that I could be a good Doggo just by fetching the Ball well enough to satisfy myself, and let whatever happens happens.
I learned that not everything on my mind needed to be said, or recorded, and for a while it went very much against my own instincts, grating against my own impulsiveness to reach new Subscribers or followers.
Now, working for Amazon, there’s a new, mandatory Ball, getting making over 100 on my rate. i’m still fetching the Ball, but now it’s because i’m getting paid to do it, and this ball? I like fetching it.

But, I’m not going to let the Ball become my life. I want you to know that this post was inspired by a number of people and situations, across a good number of years. That no one thing is the core reason for this post being written.

Just remember:
Ball is Life.
But, Ball should not BE Life.

Oh to thine own soul, I doth speak to thee

I speak a summer’s breeze of creativity, heavy and rife with intellect and naive of the mind’s own maze of batshit craycray.

Preface:
Caffeine was involved.
Copious amounts of caffeine.
No fucks or apologies issued, you knew wtf was going to happen.

Let’s get something straight here, I fucking swear in my posts!
“BUT WHY!?”
And I say to you this, my child:
Because, the human language has over a trillion words in various dialects, each with their own unique needs and wants and kinks, and sometimes, the word ‘Is’ likes to do the butt stuff. Hard butt stuff with mimes dressed as T-rex’s, each armed with fifty dildos and a crosed of broken glass, which MUST BE INSTRUMENTALLY INSERTED INTO THEIR NIPPLES LIKE A CROSS DRESSING FUCK KING!
So, yeah, I swear.
Right now?
right now I’m about to lay some knowledge into your faces heads, and in your mind anus, some infojizz will bloom the might horny person into the wellspring net of yahaolmyspace.com!
So… if you were expecting an intelligent and thoughtful, proviking stance on why longboats needed to be shipped into the email addresses of local midget villages, than you’ve… made a wrong turn somewhere, because here? Here is the MOTHERFUCKING MINDCICLES! Where the contrast between intelligent and ALLMIGHTYWHATTHEFUCK happens just as quickly as a dick stabbing squirrel dressed as a honey bee setting fire to the orphanages of all of Christmas Day!
Plus, straight coffee fucks with my head in magical ways. And yes! Yes my friends, my followers, there will be days where madness spits in your face nipples and your eye feet will run, SCREAMING INTO THE MIDNIGHT FORESTS OF THE DEAD SOUL DEER, AND NOTHING SHALL RETURN!
Except, a higher knowing of what you just read might become the stuff of legend. I say unto thee, I speak for the worms and the wood, and the wood winds, and the woods that break wind, fart and from that fart, know that you shall launch the moon monday penis into the sky clouds and hamper the laundry of the infinite sadness!
Wait, the fuck?
I don’t care about making sense, I just need to write something, anything, something that makes me feel like you follow me so that at one point or another, this Bob ross of a painting of words will somehow inspire your to greater heights. Maybe, somehow, somewhere, the minds that crafted the intranet, the internet, may one day VENTURE TO THE OUTERNET! and holy fuck I’m looking up the OUTERNET as soon as IO finish writing this! Like, fuck me, that’s an awesome idea, the inter, the intra, the outer, the through, the around, and the undernet…. MY GOD, MOTHER OF FUCK LORD’S GOD, WHAT HAVE I INSPIRED!? Nothing? Everything? Possibly something that may make the thought raptor of Seclusiondick 5 turn vegan ONCE MORE AND SOLVE THE DINO-CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS!? Well, that’d be a fucking amazing mashup, wouldn’t it? I mean, to literally be there while a SUPERSTEGO shoots dick beams of ice and fury…. that…. truly would be a FROST JOB!
I’m not going to be serious in the post, I don’t wanna be, there’s no need to be serious in a blog post all the time! Sometimes, you just need to say fuck it with the sanity, and go with the mental flow! After all, if there isn’t a blog post out there that speaks to the psychological inner workings of the mind through abstract constructs, then you’re just wasting the time of both the reader and the writer, for every step we take is another that someone else may one day too take. Maybe you two end up in a foot race of thoughts and ideas, each step taken inspires you further along the road of life, and your souls become synched, tuned, like fine instruments to be played at such a level only those with the finest hearing can truly see where it leads!
And I KNOW for a fact that some people follow me because of the sometimes insane ramblings I post, and others for the intelligent aspect. Or maybe you read because I’m just an interesting guy, I’ll never know, really. I just want to entertain you, like the MIND SLUG SQUIRRELS OF SCOUT TROOP 555- Kidding. Just think of every non sequitur as an idea for a short story, something bottled up and shaken around for a little bit, and finally let loose. I’ve been wanting to get back into writing short stories for a while, get my thoughts out to the world, you know?

MY work schedule just kind of drains me of that, day by day, hour by hour, scan after scan. IT just seems like I’m losing a bit of who I am, and like my man Paul always tells me, “HEY! KNOCK THAT DEPRESSING SHIT OFF!” I just wanted to keep myself pumped, at the same time, I’m just a little bit freaked out by the progress in my life. For the first time in a while, a LONG while, I’m finally at a job where I’m just knocking shit out left and right, where I’m surrounded by thinkers, doers, gamers, and people with a shit ton of experience to draw from.

those who’ve followed my blog for a while, know that I’ve been around the net for a while, that my posts are unfocused, a kind of stream of consciousness kind of dealio, but it’s all good. It just takes a while for me to get to the meat of the issue, and if you’ve read this far, welcome to the format, a thick layer of insane ramblings, and underneath the prospect of learning something deeper about me. Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t build a squirrel launching catapult.
Maybe, I shouldn’t dress the quirrels up in little Evil Kneivel costumes.
Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t aim said catapult in the direction of metro PCS. but this world of ours is full of surprises! and no matter what, we can all agree, that Trump is a fucking moron who’s going to kick off world war 3 by tweet alone.
Because fuck him, that glow in the dark son of a bitch! That fuck nutted shit for brains, used cheeto bag fucking, mushroom dicked, tiny handed, treasonous fuck munch of a human being! That rejected Garbage Pale Kid, that shit for brains ass face, that fucking moron, that diaper fucking ass for face! And yeah, I’m kind going all in, because like I said in the beginning of htis fucking thing, I swear in my blogs, and there are MANY MANY MANY layers to this thing, and sometimes, just sometimes, you don’t need to make sense, or focus on ap articular thing, or just fucking fuck shit up on a literary sense.
Sometimes, you just need to go all in, and as long as the thoughts are pretty much fucking unorganized little traumatized SPIDERS FROM A DEAD CLOWNS BROOM CLOSET, THE WORLD WILL SEEK THE UNDERKING OF THE NONTERNET, SLOOPY MCFARTNUTSACK! The stretchiest of Fartsacks the world has never cared to here.
Fart Sacks. The nuts of the human ass. The biological equiviliant of bending space and time so that the WORLD CAN’T UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL SCREECH CRIES OF THE TERABYTE BASED FLOCKAWAVES! They shall know only SORROW! Like the creeping insect voids of Therserererer Five nine eight! Wellp, whatever sanity this particular post had, has left the building, I mean, it WAS there for a while, and then shit just went left field, right field, pitchers mound, and ran the fucking bases.
Home fucking run.
Wait, I wonder if its possible to fuck and run and the same time?
I mean, seriously, the act is possible, on some level, by the sprints of each act will REQUIRE THE BEES OF A THOUSAND HIVES AND SEVERAL JARS OF JEFF PEANUT BUTTER!
Jeff, because while Mothers like jiff, Jeff has a bitching sports car, also the latest AC/DC Compact disk. Jeff Peanut butter, tastes like blood, motor oil, and getting chicks man!
God damn it Jeff.
Um, what was I going on about? The bee population is shrinking and no one really understands why, maybe Antisex groups are mkaing tiny bee condoms? Like, how does that shit even work? OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO SEARCH UP BEE DICKS. Also, fun fact, the size of Narwhal Penis is determined by the size of their Horn. Ladies, lmao. So the larger the horn, the bigger of the balls, and thaaaaat’s…. fucking disturbing the shit out of me. Not for the normal reasons, but because now?
Now I’m imagining regular bees, with regular narwhal hors, and giant ass testicles. So, there’s a bit of Nightmare fuel. How do Narwhals jack off? By slamming their horns into rocks or something? I mean, that make sense if you think about it… And you’re thinking about it.

More intelligent than a dumb ass next to a switch

I walk in, do my thing, go to the sink to wash my hands, and the dude slides out like he’s Kramer from Seinfeld, like, “HEY YA JERRY! I’VE GOTTA TELL YA SOMETHING!”

Yeah, I fucking swear, UHMAHGAWD leave me alone~ Or some other weird bullshit like that, I dunno, maybe I do? Either way, we’s gon’ get drunk annnnnnnnnd blog. About random bullshit, I like mac n cheese, but not the kind of mac n cheese that’s mac n cheese. I’m fucking hipster like that, or not, fuck those idiots that claim to like things BEFORE they were cool. And Yeah, I know, old gripe, but can we PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, make the other days of the week food related? We’ve already got Taco Tuesday.
So let’s have Menudo Monday, Waldorf Salad Wednesday, Turkey Thursday, Fuckfoods Friday, you know? food that you eat after you have a good fuck, like shit you REALLY want to eat right after sex, I’m talking the kind of food that you just want to chow down on right after you get done chowing down on. Me?
Personally? A bowl of fucking lucky charms! Like, fuck yeah!
They’re magically delicious because SO AM I DAMMIT!
It’s all good. My cat is proving once again, that they do indeed rule the universe, because while i’m writing this, she’s doing everything in her power to role on my keyboard. So, every sentence is like a battle of wills between my wanting to knock out a post, and her wanting me to pet her. MOTHERFUCKER, I AM A GOD DAMNED BLOGGER, let me do this shit. I’ll give you scratchings behind the ears later.
Like a goddamn boss.

I’ve been working for Amazon for what seems like forever now, and I’m getting used to the flow of the same damned thing almost everyday, there’s there far away prospect of getting Blue Badged, at least, it seems like a far away prospect, in truth I’m not really sure when they’ll offer, but there are constant whispers of it up and down the lines, in the break room, and pretty much in the one bathroom stall that’s always occupied by the same guy.
No fucking joke.
Every single day, same stall, same guy.
I walk in, do my thing, go to the sink to wash my hands, and the dude slides out like he’s Kramer from Seinfeld, like, “HEY YA JERRY! I’VE GOTTA TELL YA SOMETHING!”
Funniest damned thing since it’s usually a PA, KBS, or AM, depending on the day, and what they felt like doing at the time. There’s two times where they have the departments gather called stand up, and it’s not that interesting, basically it goes:
1. People gather around.
2. Stretching.
3. any tips from the audience, (I usually get ignored, no matter how loud I am.)
4. Who to give props to. (also get ignored)
5. The mad rush to get to a station.

During any one of these portions, people are always talking, and the PA’s can BARELY be heard on the speaker system they’ve got set up, it’s the weirdest fucking feeling in the world. SEPS was the same way, only except people were fucked to speak during inspections. I almost kind of want Stand Up to be like inspections, just a little.

The job, love it, love everything about it. Made a few friends there, one of my best friends from work is also my ride, and lately, what we’ve been doing is going to a different place everyday. Sometimes the food’s great, sometimes it’s a bit lacking, but we try every place we can, and make the mad rush to get to work afterwards. Which is a treat in and of itself.
Because let it be known that there are fucking idiots on the road, who will drive twenty three fucking miles, with a god damned traffic cone stuck to the under carriage of their car, and it’s the funniest god damned thing in the world, like a car based unicorn with day glow viagra, it’s a god damned rarity.
Also a treat is the driver trying to constantly pass us if we’re going the speed limit and the dumb ass’s girlfriend starts taking a picture of the car? OH my fucking god, it’s… great!
Cause I flipped that dumbass off, and I’m kind of wondering what they were trying to get a picture of. But so far, so good, nothing new to report. We’re alos gaming buddies on the switch, which reminds me to snag Splatoon 2.

I just invented Nogfee

It’s so fucking disgusting, you have no idea, but it’s just kick in the fuccking pants I needed to write this shit out. I guess, I mean, I’m not one to judge that bag of goldfish over there, but I think it’s going to kill me in my sleep. Fucking young link in smash bros is probably the weirdest sentence I’ve ever written, though right NOW I’m not trying to direct my flow, just let it go where it will, you know? But that’s the thing, as soon as I say I’m doing one thing, my mind’s like, “NOT TODAY BITCHES!” And we start all over, which is fine and dandy I suppose, since working at amazon, is kind of like working for one of those weird out of the way gas stations, and dumb asses are always ordering the weirdest shit.
Face dildos, like, really? The only possible reason to want a double sided face dildo is if your kink is deep throating yourself while you head bang into your girls crotch. and if that shit’s going down?
Listen to lamb of God, very relaxing music.
Speaking of which, I think I just set up a hookup situation with an older co-worker who’s kinda out of shape…. Like… what the fuck. I’m not comfortable with this at all, since A, she just flat out texted me, “WYD… wantafuck?” And me, not wanting to be a dick replied, sure, why not? Look, I did not sign up for amazon to get laid, I work for amazon to get paid And yes, that’s a fucking rhyme, and I don’t lie, I got the flow to make this work and fuck my life I can’t stop.
Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of rap, and the strange fucking thing is that I’m pretty good at dropping the beat myself, and it’s scary what you lose in the process of it all. For every one thing you gain, you lose something else.

Annnnd fuck my life I just gave a coworker a link to my blog. Not the one mentioned above, different one.
Welllll, meh, fuck it. Sup my man! I know, right? WE’RE FUCKING VIKINGS! Which I guess is a better statement than WE’RE VIKINGS FUCKING! Or the following:
1. Vikings, we’re fucking.
2. Vikings! We’re fucking?
3. Vikings? We’re fucking!
4. Fucking? we’re Vikings.
5. Fucking. We’re Vikings?
6. Fucking! We’re Viking!
7. We’re fucking Vikings!
8. We’re fucking Vikings?
9. We’re fucking Vikings.
10. We’re fucking, Vikings.
11. we’re fucking, Vikings!
12. We’re fucking, Vikings?
And so on, so…. yup. It sometimes gets a little deep up in this bitch, and we all know that sometimes, you just have to dress a weiner dog up in a little adorable hotdog costume and let the little fucker run around a room filled with people stoned out there mind.
It will either wind up being the funniest thing you’ve ever seen, or maybe a horrifying case why you should never call a breed of dog, that naturally looks like a hotdog, a weiner dog. Yup.
Dark.
Like fucking batman.
Or even fucking Bruce Wayne on either Mother or Fathers day.
Shit’s just… y’know… fucked.
“MARTHA!”

At the end of the day?

We all get the fuck out of there as fast as possible, love Amazon to death, really do, but there’s only so many boxes, yellow, grey, and white color schemes, and listening to submarine like sirens blaring before you start thinking about those final three minutes of the night.

I need to blog about work more, and I will. Also, dating coworkers is a big fuck nah. I don’t want to chance, are there gals there that catch my eye? Of course, will I personally persue them? Nope. Look, I get it, love is in the air, and when you’re spending nearly 40 to 50 hours in a warehouse with people, connections are made, bonds created.

There’s a reason dating coworkers is a cautionary tale, cause if you date someone a bit higher up above you, and things don’t work out? That’s a big fucking spot that can potentially screw you over long term.

But, at the same time, if things do work out? Much love to you both, I hope things work out for yall. Myself? I dunno, the future is like water, it can exist in all four states, solid, liquid, gas, and plasma. It is ever changing, and sometime,aybe, my stance will change.

It’s a pretty competitive environment, but it’s all to improve your work flow, I’m already two times faster than I was when I first started, so evolution.

Well, let’s do this!

I’ve been through a thing or two, because I’ve seen a thing or two, and I’m not sure at what point those things or two can get fucking bored of this joke, also it takes me five or so minutes to get settled in when I’m getting ready to write a post, so I’m thinking, GREAT… another word I’ve misspelled. I always have trouble with spelling certain words correctly, it’s craaaazy.

Want to know what else is crazy? The fact that I’ve not written in this thing for so long. I’ve got some hard truth’s to nub out, but I’m not going to focus on them, because I’ve only 4.5 hours of sleep, and people keep slamming into my room to try and distract me from what I’m doing, which is now a thing I have to deal with.

I’ve been busy with writing, with game making, with a bunch of crap that I’m easily distracted by or I just feel like I needed to switch gears on. Oh, right, about 5 weeks ago I tried to hang myself in the garage, and now my folks are trying to crush the story so that way people don’t get freaked out by that fact.

Anyways, floating around is tweet thread about the whole thing, so if I remember about it, I’ll link it at the bottom of this post. Writing… Well, let’s get to that thing very quickly, lately, I’ve been using a writing engine called twinery 2, a kind of branching writing program that’s fucking simple to use, and you don’t need any prior experience to use it.

I’m using it because I love writing books and I love writing expansive stories that are amazing.

What I don’t love are people trying to tell me how to use the program, because that’s when I try to cram as much stuff in it, they either lose interest in what I do, or I just lose interest in that particular thing for a time. But that’s neither here nor there, again, I’ll put a link in the description below.

Those who’ve been following my blog for years, know that I have a passion for creating things, and my latest endeavor in RPG Maker MV, is a triumph in it’s own right. I LOVE making things, it’s what I’m good at, even if the results are a bit shoddy, I know this because I always put 9,000,000% into whatever I’m working on at the moment, and always try to make it the best thing I can.

This current project I’m working on, “Project 1” is the working title, is no different. It still has the same basic premise as my other works, with Darkness and Light being a married couple who need to be extra fucking kinky in bed. So their idea of foreplay is to send newly created souls on adventures and live vicariously through them, because they aren’t so much as people as they are the physical manifestations of the very concepts of Light and Darkness, and who the fuck are we to think they have genitals. Who knows? Maybe their idea of shitting and pissing is summoning the Old Eldritch gods to consume and kill virgins in the upper northern tip of West Virginia, we’ll never know, because that’s just way too meta-physical, and we’ll never know the truth of WHY THEY CHOOSE TO CARRY PIZZA ON THE SIDE INSTEAD OF FLAT WAYS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE, YOU LOUSY SHITS!

Anyways, I…  I think I channeled my inner John Oliver there, weird. So, this time around, instead of smacking together four random characters and flinging them to the wilds, you’re instead playing as a ghost who takes over the bodies of six characters, in one case, you’ll be switching between creepy twins, no reason, just a gameplay mechanic, and seeing the world through their eyes. The interesting part about this, is you’re told right off the bat “that you’re nothing more than a sex toy to the couple, now go out there and start adventuring you freshly baked fuckboi!” In essence, dear god folks, I put a bit more work into it than that, lol.

So, because I’m so interested in branching paths and separate but connected storytelling, there are three paths to take, Light, Neutral, Darkness, and each has five to six paths, making it 15 to 18 possible adventures, including one where you just wander around a library, and due to some interesting flaws in the editor and my own laziness to go any deeper than I have to, get repeatedly yelled at for climbing on the bookshelf in increasingly more hilarious ways.

Not to mention I might make a fourth path with an actual story behind it,  well, the whole thing will have an overarching story behind it, I just don’t like to pigeonhole myself into specifics or else I’ll just end up getting bored with it trying to find tune the shit out of everything OVER AND OVER AND OVER again,

On top of that, I’ve got two different Discord servers I’m running, which I need to transfer ownership over to myself, so that way I can really get things kicked off. A fresh start so to speak, though I really do have having to delete anything, though I’ve already have a few other things on my plate already.

Hrm… what else? Not much… Anyways, have a good one!

Link to the tweet thread about my suicide attempt:

Link to my Philome.la page:
http://www.philome.la/MorganGavin

Coffee Thoughts in the morning!

God I fucking love coffee!

Seriously, nothing more satisfying in the mornings then hcocking down some random shit I no longer care about writing.

Well, not that topic anymore, I don’t write these morning blogs just to be all philosophical and shit, I write them to just fucking say what’s on my mind, and there’s not really much on my mind, no, really!

I used to try and make sense of the world, try to unlock it’s various dick shaped puzzles, and try to be something more than my mind actually was:

Infinite confuckled about everything stupid and trying to be more intelligent than a methed out gerbil being stupid funny on a facebook live of a Captain Hook porn parody where no one’s having fun, and everything just seems fucked.

More or less, I’m sure the clown in the corner, sadly jacking it to a rendition of “hurt me more” by the Sugarpops and Daddy6969 is truly just wonderful.

Outside of that, I drink coffee and slap my face against the keyboard because i need to more freeform with my thoughts, try not to bog em down with the heavier shit, because that’s what the fuck I was doing for a long fucking time, you know?

Understand the mysteries of the universe, logic it all out.

There’s nothing to logic out, it’s all impulse!All fuck this, blow up that, make fun of this person, why?

What’s the point?

Aren’t we fucked enough already without that added pressure of the constant shit talking?

Maybe we just need to shut our minds down for a bit and relax, not worry about what the others are doing as Jack and beanstalk simply refers to the act of getting a blowjob from a snaggle toothed, broken jawed hooker during an earthquake on a rickety roller coaster.

Or maybe it’s something more which I don’t have the mental patience to deal with?

I dunno…

I just do not know.

I’ve spent so much of my life looking at a keyboard that it’s really the one constant thing, more constant than staring at a screen for one reason or another.

Although it does seem a bit more fun than backwards fisting a zombie in the ass.

Maybe?

Yeah definitely don’t want to think about reverse fisting anything that’s decomposing.

Ha… You’re thinking of it aren’t you?

LMAO!

that’s the thing I love about coffee thoughts, you can just say whatever’s on yer mind and not really have to worry about a fucking thing!

It’s a freeing feeling, something I’ve continually missed as i’ve plugged away at this project or that project, wondering when and if I’d get back to the one thing that really matters, randomly blogging about nothing at all, or making some sort of sense to the five people that actually read this thing, all over the world…

Did you know I used to be read all over the world?

Seriously, that shit was insane, yeah, I used to talk mad shit about people over at VVC back when there was shit talking to be done, but I was fucked read all over the place.

Sometimes for good reasons, other times for bad, sometimes for reasons that  seemed a bit obtuse, no, no intelligent words.

BAD BRAIN, BAD FUCKING BRAIN!

Point being, I guess no matter what I do, I’m going to have some kind of draw, some kind of gravitational pull, even if I don’t think I have one. After all, hits are hits, regardless of how many times or how many minutes people read or watch. not that i’m complaining, it’s just a natural fact of life that now a days, if you’re aren’t shit talking someone, you’re not a part of the cool crowd, though to be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever been a part of the cool crowd?

Maybe?

I’m not really sure anymore, everything’s a bit fuzzy in the memory, sometimes I get flashes of the person I used to be in my twenties, and I look back at the things I wanted to accomplish, and look upon my many failings, and see that there is a veritable graveyard of them. But I can’t give up!

Not giving up!

Ever since I tried to hang myself, I’ve come to the realization that my life, my efforts, my everything really, is more important than just some one off project that for one reason or another needs to be slapped together in the form of a blog or something to make others happy.

It’s a way of keeping myself motivated for the future, to punch that sun right in the fucking dick!

To proclaim to the world that all should HAIL BILL FUCKING WATSON!

To make the most badass shoutout videos in the world and keep people smiling.

I lost the goal of that in the course of chasing high hit counts and wanting people to subscribe to me.

I lost that point, maybe that’s why my follower count hasn’t risen or fallen? Maybe that’s why I’m struggling to get anymore traction?

Or ,maybe I just secretly gave up the rat race once I figured out the truth of the matter, that no matter what I try, there’s always going to be someone to shit on my parade.

So I need to shit on theirs first, because of course that’s going to be a thing, right?

I create because it’s what I’m excellent at, I’m godlike when it comes to creating things.

the question is, how do I turn that creation into profit, more importantly, how did I go from using all of my finger to only using five? that shit confused the hell out of me.

Is it to match my internal voice when it comes to… thinking?

I dunno, don’t care, batshit crazy thought time:

So a penguin with a machete and a tiny top hat went on a tiny adorable rampage at a library and that shit went sideways with the chihuahua FBI showed up and was all “BARK BARK MOTHERFUCKER!”

I KEEP FORGETTING THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG, TO NOT MAKE SENSE, TO HAVE FREE FLOWING THOUGHT IN A WAY THAT’S NEITHER CONSTRICTING NOR CAUSES ME TO PAUSE, LIKE AN ECLECTIC COLLECTOR OF LECTURES. HA! I DID A THING THAT MADE ME SMILE ON THE INSIDE.

PEOPLE SAY I NEED TO SMILE MORE, WHY? WHAT’S THE POINT? WHAT AM I SMILING AT?

THE SUN?

THAT SHIT’S BEEN THERE FOR TRILLIONS OF YEARS, AND NO AMOUNT OF SMILING IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT.

OH, SHIT, I’VE HAD CAPS LOCK ON THIS ENTIRE TIME.

There we go, that’s going to read very weird, people are going to be like “Why is he yelling about smiling at the sun?”

Puppies, I don’t know, that’s just the word I was focused on when my fingers hit the keyboard, and now this blog is getting more metaphysical than I’d actually like. I need to practice using more than just two fingers- SHUT THE METAMINDFUCKING PHYSICAL BULLSHIT DOWN!

There we go, hate it when that happens, because than I’m just focused on the random bullshit that’s going on, and you see what’s ACTUALLY going on instead of enjoying a nice nonsensical blog about shit that no longer matters ten minutes down the road as you focus on which Forte Nite skin to use to do the same thing over and over and over and over again. Because really, that’s all gaming really is, and maybe I’m over extending my reach as John Wick 3 is just about John Wick going on a murder rampage because someone took his plate of nachos at golden Corral, and john’s had enough of that shit.

The movie will be a veritable and verifiable week long in running time. And it will be just millions of senior citizens rushing John in an attempt to fuck with death itself.

Wow, that’s on my mind heavily, maybe it’s something more, or something less.? I need to go to the mental gym more often and work on the mental gymnastics required to keep this train of thought going?

Maybe I do, and maybe I don’t give a fuck anymore about trying to make sense, nope, old topic, moving forward, moving on!

I like writing songs, it’s a pretty fun experience, to hear the flow of the music as you slap a ham sandwich against the way and make fart noises and than you think, well this isn’t making music, just making a mess.

Coffee thoughts

make you wonder if there’s anything in my head worth wringing out… Because thought drops are shit enough without the proper things.

I’m sitting here in my underwear wondering why cheetahs and the name of the snack is so fucking hard to spell. Maybe I’m lazy? I could be lazy.

Either that or I just don’t want to pay attention to what I’m saying anymore. i’m seeing a therapist because recently, I tried to hang myself. I know, shocking, right? Actually, it is in a way.

I’m too bored at the moment to go through the whole process of reliving that shit, so I’ll just link the tweet thread at the end of the post. I drank a cup of coffee at the moment, so nothing I’m saying actually makes much sense. But i don’t think it’s supposed to, maybe i’m trying to be more than I want to be at the moment, but i really need to get back into the whole blogging thing. I love the stats of seeing how many people read my stuff, all across the country and all that, but I gave up trying to keep up with the times or what’s trending, because than I just lose the point of writing the blog.

which is to just keep my thoughts out of my head, and into your heart. or some strange fucking bullshit like that. I dunno, recently i’ve just been at a loss for words because of what I put myself though that it just seems pointless trying to find the right audience. Maybe there isn’t one? Maybe I just don’t know how to run a blog? Or maybe I’ve found the right audience, but at the same time, my skills at marketing it are kind of shit?
I really don’t know. the most important question I have at this point is why the moldy fat bridge troll Rudy Fuckedhisaunty thinks that the Truth isn’t the Truth, when in fact, the Truth, is the Truth. I’d like to punch him.

I don’t care if he’s a lawyer, or former 9/11 superhero, guys a fucknut, and I challenge him to a fist fight. i’d kick his ass. He knows it, I knows it, and now i’m speaking like Popeye, because fuck proper spelling at this point. Do you know how many hamster i’d like to fire out of a minigun?
Me neither, because I don’t have a gun license, a minigun, or a bullet belt with tiny enough hamsters to find out the answer to that very disturbing question.

I could be looking at a mirror, but then how would I write on the keyboard? this blog is a mystery. Some points are constant, others are just fuckled mysteries that need more explaining than people are will to put forth. though I don’t dare claim to be a great blogger, I’m just putting my thoughts out there, a Gonzo blogger if you will. there’s no hard hitting truth, no mystery of the universe 3, just one asshole, a cup of coffee and a wifi connection that’d make you wonder if there’s anything in my head worth wringing out… Because thought drops are shit enough without the proper things.

Maybe I just wanted to write something, I’ve been out of the loop, and as much as I want to rag on Trump for this or that, I just don’t have it in me anymore. Yeah, I could put more energy into my posts, add a picture or two, but really? i’m a lazy blogger, my entries are what they are, and despite all my efforts to try and cultivate an audience, my thoughts are kind of flat and boring. Do I let you into my life and get yelled at for it by my controlling parents or do I just dance around the topics that are long bothering me and leave you more disappointed than a hooker hired by a club of ED sufferers?

Okay, that one was pretty good. Sometimes I don’t get it, I try to make myself interesting in some fashion, it works out for a while, and then I get bored with it. Why? What’s the point?  Is there some greater purpose i’m supposed to be serving? Do I just go slowly insane talking to myself for weeks on end, gibbering in a strange language that only I and the shadows in a well lit room understand? Or am I just getting older with the knowledge that no matter what I try? My own futile attempts at some form of relevancy or just enough to make someone laugh for half a second before turning to something more interesting?

Maybe i need to get drunk off my ass again and write from that standpoint. I’ve been a bit angry at nothing for a while. Powder room with no lit fuse or something. Something to focus my energies on, something to grasp at straws. I’m good at being despondent, annoyed by things out of my mental grasp, and just in general, being a massive asshole to people on twitter, or maybe I’m not a massive asshole on twitter… maybe I’m just me, not fully grasping the nuances of comedy as as write this in the voice of a fucking noncy wine consumer.

Don’t know. Don’t care. Bored. I need to do something with my life….

Writing can be harsh with a broken heart.

Self motivation is what keeps me going, self motivation to punch through whatever is slowing me down, selfm otivation to prove that I can knock something out each and everyday, even if it’s just adding a little bit more to the part I’m working on. It’s tough, harsh, and unbelievably hard to pull off, but somehow each day, with a cup of joe and a blaring playlist of Happy Hardcore music, i’m able to get both a little ifction written, as well as a blog post about whatever the fuck I’m feeling at the moment.

And at the moment? i’m feeling great… Not really. I’m stuck in a quagmire of slow thoughts turned exhaustion, I write about being tired, I become tired, bored, and start to yawn, and there goes the day.

I’m punching through this as much as i possibly can, because how else am I going to get through writing. To me, at least, the worst enemy you can have is yourself. Because, as you know, your own brain is actively working against you every step of the way, trying to slow you down, trying to make you sluggish in whatever you try to accomplish, and right now, my brain is slowly but sure tryng to keep me from accomplishing my goals. Which can be an incredib;ly frustrating feeling.

Especially when you’ve got a book of blogs and other things to knock out which I will. I’m tired of not working on that thing, I’m tired of not pulling though on the one thing that’s been haunting me for such a long time. And yes, It is a very dull, boring, and exrutiating process, and I sometimes think I won’t be able to stand on my own two feet, but god fucking damn it, I need to make this happen, I don’t want to be stuck at my parents house forever, and it’s incredibly draining on my self confidence, because I’m feeling up then down, and it fucks with you, it truly does screw with your head.

I know I can get through this massive headache, i know that it’s just a matter of time before something launches me forward in life, and I NEED to start writing about what’s going through my mind instead of just dancing around the topic like I’m afraid of what the consequences are going to be. Yeah, posting on Facebook can be lethal because of FB politics, but at least here? Here, oi can roar to the mountains and back about whatever the fuck is own my mind and try my damndest to get through the day.

Motivation is key in anything we do, and it’s only those moment where we falter that we’re truly happy for what we’ve accomplished with our lives. I need that happiness more than ever right now! not that i’m complaining, well, fuck it, I am, I’m not going to sit idly by and let others just roar whatever the fucks going on in THEIR lives and cast me into the fucking flames of perdition to whomever the fuck they want and i’m just stuck here like I’m useless and powerless to say whatever the fuck I need to to get through the dya, I need to vent, I need to destress, and right now?

donald Motherfucking Trump is a cuckolded dumpster fire on wheels, that shit stained motherfucker is screwing everything up and NO I don’t need to post specifics, because why the fuck would I do something incredibly boring as point out hte fucking prom baby abortion he has been to our allies and enemies! I Donald trump is the kind of guy that would fuck his own daughter than separate her from the family, just so no one can claim incest.

donald trumps a fucking traitor to this country, I don’t give two fucking shits what you think or feel, the mother fucker is treasonous and we all know, the Republican party just won’t admit to shitting on the floor because they know that the moment they do, the fucking moment they DO, that their chances of getting another Republican in office just slimmed down faster than a starving kid in the fashion industry.

fuck you, you know that shits real, and that’s why it’s so god damned dark.

Donald trump is the abortion the country needs to happen. Let me rephrase that, the country needs to have an abortion and remove this fat, orange, tantrum throwing, pants shitting, face rash having shit bag forcibly removed from office as fast as fucking possible!

And no, I’ve stated this in the past, if the fucktard hadn’t been in bed with Putin, and he’d run an honest campaign, and hadn’t shit all over himself on Twitter, then maybe MAYBE THE 80% OF THE COUNTRY WOULDN’T BE PISSED OFF!

We see the truth, but only through the static Trump creates.

We know what he’s done.
We want to prove that he’s done it.
We want to focus on what Trumps done to fuck the core of our Democracy.

But we’re constantly distracted by all the other shit that Trump’s pulled, too much so. I’d say that at this point, we’re the detective with ADHD that has all the clues, the confession, the footage, everything and keeps getting distracted by little things. It’s fucking ridiculous. We know of EVERYTHING and yet we’re still dickin’ around, playing with the news as if it contained something precious!

Why? Why can’t we just punch through the Trump Static and learn the truth? Why is the news beating around the bush? What is taking so long? Why can’t we just oust the fucker from office, charge him with treason, put him on death row, and move on from the fucking thing? Are we that enamored with this whole thing that we just can’t get to the end?

This isn’t crying, or raging, this is asking the essential simple question:

How are we getting to the root of it all, and more importantly, when will the other shoe drop?

My ear feels weird…

Last night I had a weird dream, and in the dream, I was trying to figure something out. It was like I was lost in the woods, trying not to focus on what was right in front of me, even though that was the important part, and focus on everything else that was happening in the area. It seems stupid, I know, but that’s how I am now a days ever since coming home from being Separated from the Navy for catching pnuemonia andfalling behind in training.

They did something to me, something that I’m not able to account for, they broke me, and in turn, broke a little bit of who I was away. I can’t find that peice, I’m easily distracted if over stimulated, and more prone to getting angry than I was before. Normally, I’m a pretty calm person, but lately, I dunno, it’s almost like I’m not my old self anymore. Like I’m trying to fight my way through a smokeyroom, but I’m the only one there, left to my own paranoia about who else might be in there with me.

It doesn’t make any sense to continually dwell on this, but at the same time, it feels perfectly normal for me to want to talk about this kind of thing. And while I know for a #realnews fact that my Lady Love, friends and family will be there to talk to, there’s always been this more visceral, more thorough satisfaction in writing out whatever’s bother me!

Lately it’s trying to get past that initial wall of surface level thoughts, but that’s like diving into wet cement trying to get through to the other side, there’s always so much resistance, that I can only write or say what’s on my mind, whats ACTUALLY on my mind, after repeated attempts to breach the subject. Sometimes they are depressing, other times enraging, and other times there’s nothing there.

I’ve been blogging nearly my whole adult life, and in some instances, way before then. So I’ve got a lot of pages under my belt… I still need to get everything organized… But I’ll get it done, and published. I just need to stay focused…. My ear feels weird.

I have blogger’s anxiety.

Okay, so it’s been a while since I’ve written a blog entry here, like for a REALLY long time I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write. I was worried that whatever I was going to write wasn’t going to be trendy or funny, or catch people’s eyes, not to mention that the pressure of social media to be trendy or cute, or whatever the fuck is happening in the world is almost too much.

So I trapped myself in the world of fiction, I put myself there for so long that I no longer felt like I had anything else to write about in the real world, where as in the past I was BOLD, brave, reckless, ready to offend and not give two shits about whatever it was I was oging to go off about. That route made me somewhat popular, but at the same time it had me worried that I was going to offend the wrong people with my words. MY FUCKING WORDS.

In truth, my parents kept interrupting me whenever I was writing something down, almost to the point of being a super coincidental annoyance. I Guess that’s my biggest gripe about blogging, I want to start there and work my way out, because it’s super hard for me to stay focused, and sometimes I need to talk about what’s bothering me. After all, this IS morgansmindcicles.wordpress.com right? RIGHT!?

I love my parents, I REALLY really do. thing is, I’m a writer, writing is what I love to do. It’s my morning bread and butter, it’s the thing that makes me want to reach my arms in the air and fist fuck the sun until it explodes! I don’t consider it a good blogging experience until I’ve written about ten to fifteen paragraphs, which also explains my publishing speed when it comes to Sogno Della Dinastia. brb.

Thing is, mother fucker…. every single god damned time…. No wonder I have fucking anxiety. God that coffee is fucking weak as shit! Anyways, I dunno where my anxiety is stemming from, but I do know for a fact that I’d likje to punch the air so hard it creates mini black holes and shove them right up Donald Trump’s ass! The guy is a complete and fucking idiot, or #fuckidiot because reasons! I usually lead off with something serious then go into the weird inane bullshit because I want to lead away from the topics I’m thinking about, kind of like a certain fuck headed tiny limbed, shit burger fucking Placeholder in Chief.

Donald Trump is like the edgy teen that kicks geesein the face, then claims the police reports are #fakenews. Only thing faker than his perception of the news is how much longer his marriage is going to last and I don’t see that bit of reality being disproven any time soon!

Did you know cupcakes are a thing? I think they are but I’m not too sure. I once wanted to be a porn star, but now after seeing the news, I nolonger feel that way. I should run for President, they’d vote for a porn star? They would, because if people have already seen junk go into your trunk, there’s not much else they can really say. I mean yeah, Stormy would get lots of questions in regards to how thick the dicks were, what position was her favorite, and eventually it would fade into the usual polotical questions and her leanings. Which wouldn’t surprise me in the least. But have no fear, Oprah’s winning the 2020 and we won’t have to worry about a god damned thing anymore.

Call me a Snawflake, but when I shake the mountain, your asses are dealing with a fucking blizzard! Speaking of which, I redownloaded Starcraft Remastered out of nostalgia, and… well, it’s pretty much the same game it’s always been, not going to lie. Like it’s the same game, same way of playing, same everything, but at the same time, youre left wondering what was the point? True, you could use the remastered to introduce new players to the old game play conepts and then ease them into the sequel, but at the same time… I need something new.

I like the map making aspect of it, and I used to be completely boss at making UTGOTY maps like crazy! I came up with some pretty fucking badass map designs, and I’d spend hours making, texturing, and placing the wlak path nodes for the bots. It was a fucking blast! There was this one map, set in space, two basses on a connecting asteroid orbiting the planet? Hell fucking yeah, I loved that shit! I also dabbled in RPGMaker, which I haven’t checked to see if they updated or released a new version of yet.

But I had a pretty bad ass concept, there’d be the classic good versus evil concept, but it wasn’t the usual case of “WE’RE GONNA DEFEAT YOU BECAUSE CHEESECAKE!” It was more like they were an old married couple, and they’d do this as foreplay for when the REAL shit was about to go down, so they’d flip a coin, who ever lost had to be the “Evil”  one, so they’d create four blank souls each with their own story line, but always leading to the outcome of having to face off against the “Evil” side. I put so much fuckign effort into the first attempt, always working on it whenever I had the time and patience for it.

And then the file crashed, so I tried it again, same concept, it was always the same concept, but no matter what I tried, I just couldn’t get it to stick. I thought at first the problem was the scope of the game, so I tried making a small game to ease into things, set the bar low, y’know? No dice, couldn’t even finish a “Point A to point B” game.

Finishing something, getting to the goal. Knowing that you never had to look at it again and that it was off in the world doing it’s thing… That’s my issue. I mean, the process of writing, editing, formatting, and publishing books is a pretty good example of that… I’ve published a number of books:

The Dorikame Saga: Birth of Change

The Dorikame Saga: Broken Omen

Songs of the Soul

The Wrath of Puppy Monkey Baby

Messages to an Illegitimate President

The Debate of Factions

The Six Strings of the the Highlander’s Guitar

But… This is the way of things… Y’know?

failure at drunk blogging

yes!!!! i beat the fucking system…..i think thats more wine then im thinking about i have had in the fututure pastm inutes of my minds not completely there at the present tense… wtf am i saying? oh well, i just got done training so my hands and fingers are a bit wierd at the moment. this keybaord is really freaking flimsy, although it is by far the best damned computer ive had yet. actualy laptop but whos ocunting right? lets see here. i usually only train in the martial arts when im worried about something so its been a while, the last time i trained was about a couple weeks ago for an hour or two in armed combat. all truth here folks, just like brians ability to main tain two relationships at the sawm time blowing up in his face, i shall tell thee the fricjen truth of all things…

first off. did you know that robert dinero is a muppet? its true, hes voiced by a drunken reject from the wizrd of oz danny devito. of course this always tops the ever present threat of the fact that uswins got more tics in him then a wooden house biult on a contant fault line. lol, this is gonna be fun. time to rip me ol mates a new one. this isnt slander cause im not spreading rumours or anything this is my blog. its your own damn fault for reading it in the first place if you dont like what i have to say. so fuck off. first off, lets start with brian. not dad, i love him to death and would never lampoon him in my blogs. hes special. regular jagoff brian, or douchebag. true that he is one cause he told me himself… hes manned by a little person named steve. who coioncidently wears a helmit and is about as coordinated as a drunken blind person making his way through traffic during the 89 earthquake. oh yes, this is oging to be more fun then watch people tease michael jackson by holding there little boys over him.

furst off, where to begin, i liked him at first, buddy buddy kinda thing, then he became a jackass. in a matter of two point three seconds…oh fuck this im just going to write random crap down and hope to hell it makes sense in the end. three lines for one sentence… aww fuck this shit, im just going to pst this…

oh my fucking god.

I HAVE LETERALLY WRITTEN MY SELF TO SOBRIETY!!!!! TAKE THAT CHARLY SHEEN AND MARTIN SHEEN COMBINED!

hello again folks, welcome to another edition…of inside edition. where we tell you absolutley every you already know about the celebreities you love…and then promptly do it again. because we CARE… oh crap… that was an acronym for “can alex baldwin really eat?” yes he can. see you already knew that and im on a roll here. who the fuck knew right? right…. beside the lack of self stating evidence that john mccain is nothing more then an attacking bully to obamas cool headed self. and i think this really stands out on a singular point, which charly could try to do at any given time, if he werent so damned drunk.

but more then alec baldwins evil message of kill the pig and spill his blood. then promptly open a fast food resteraunt and make liverworst the liver best in the nation, i think we got our selves and already decided president. there really isnt a need for the debates, or the election process because obamas going to take this thing hands down. why? because john mccain will probably die with in the next ten minutes and there will be no really impressive oppisition. oh sure there the evil dick cheney clone of sarah palin who seems to be the darth vader to john mccains emporer palpitine. oh screw off star wars fan boys. go shoot lightning out your asses and blame stan lee for fucking up indiana jones. fucking crstal skulls.

in other news, i now have a girlfriend, thank you for stating the obvios you horny old bastard. no… i really am 24… which is really freaking wierd considering the fact the john mccains 20000000000000000….. oh fuck it, he was alive before the big bang… he mightve caused the big bang when he crapped himself. most scientists would agree. sorry for ripping on the opsition here, but some odd unknown reason, ripping on mccain and palin is like watching the jackson family reunion where micheal hangs his kid out a window and janet shows off her tit while her “mysterios illness” takes the world by storm. oooo… i wonder what it could be? not enough attention from justin timberlake, or maybe it was the fact that we have not heard a single word from the other members of the family in so long, that they might be dead already. i think there dead. could they be? i dont know, ask oj…hes probably stealing things and killing people off left and right, then writing books about how he would have done it while amy whinehouse beats the hell out of him, for not giving her crack rocks….

meanwhile, in the debates, obamas like the proverbial joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat. basicly he walks on stage, crap flies out, and people beleive him for some strange reason… oh yeah i know why… the us doesnt want another republican in the white house. were fucking sick to death of idiots in the spotlight, doing shit there asses dont know anything about. yeah you heard me. fuck you mr. bush. damn you for reading my blogs for advice. DAMN YOU!!!!!!! go join charly sheen in getting drunk, screwing up the national budget, and then fuck each other while doing crack during the 1970s. ha!!!!!!! and double ha!!!!!

meanwhile other celberities are just getting powder blue priuses just for the thrill of giving birth in the back of something other then a 42 mustang convertible with all leather interior, satilite weapons capabilities, and james bond esque sex. i mention james bond esque sex because its exciting in the beginning and then nothing really happens when the credits start rolling. and then people start leaving there seats and venture off into the real world, wondering why mi6 is searching face book, for the idiot responsible for… selling a camera with top secret information. wow… good going pennywise.

to me, not much difference between the acts of falling in love, then falling out of love, then falling in the money pit, where tom hanks will rape you until your screaming out the secret of the davinci code at the top of your lungs while he plays chopsticks on a giant piano….and getting shotin the head by the godfearing rifle bearing idiot, who blames it on a flack jacket worn by melbrooks while waiting for some other rifle bearing idiot to shoot down the producers. man this things just getting evil aint it? more!!!!!

i havent been paying attention to the local news, because the local news is written like a bunch of seventh and eith grading tooks over the printing press, raped and pilaged every last respectable writing staff in the universe, bombed pearl harbor, blamed it on the japenese, then raped and pilaged nbc offices for ideas on decent shows, created joey, then wrote something down, and forced the editor in cheif to print the damned thing. its weird how everything is in the world, first you have the large communities, who by far, might be respectable if not for the fopahs of releasing stupid articles about even stupider people, and then repeat those very same veritable actions of the stupid people, making themselves look even more stupid. its a vicios circle.

then we have the medium communitiesm who just dont really give a crap about anything other then there overly obsessiv step fathers who touch them in the middle of the night, claiming to be doctors, when they really arent. there just evil peds who like touching things. then…heres the funny part, when the whole communities finds out what they already know, its SHOCKER! meaning that a wrestler, has just jammed his two fingers down your throat and made you throw up you lunch… on review… that last sentence made less sense then the mj trials of underwear versus socks. which is better to masterbait with?

speaking of which there been a little bit of debate about prop 8, which bans gay marriages. yeah… try telling that to gay people who get married in vegas just to avoid the whole rigamorale of the legal system. look, people are goin to vote for something they like, and against something they dont like. its just that simple. so what did i vote on it? no. everyone should have…wait..almost everyone. and the only person i could think of, that doesnt deserve to get married would be brian quinoness, whos just a complete assholic. lol…i dont mean that hes gay…which he is….i mean that hes a complete asshole. who likes the drink a bit too much. which explains a number of things regaurding the mind department. “oh im better then everyone else so im going to make anything i think sucks ass feel bad about the wya they do things and blah blah blah..” who really gives a shit?

there are more important things to worry about then crouching insults and flying lawsiuts against the poor, blind, deaf, tarded, monkey handed and stupid. i say stupid because…. well…. there are just stupid people out there who deserve that title, and thats all im saying.

look… its not my fault that some people are just born with the stupid gene put in them…brian…. lol… yes david i know your reading this thinking that im gay for brian… im not…. im horny for cassi. you heard right. deal. but the american justice system is onipotent in itsm any ways which make andy dick look normal. like the fact the joe olsteen whose surpisingly…other then looking like a creepy smiling idiot… is a good enough pastor that whe gets paid to yap on and on about things people already know about. good, god fearing people who that your supposed to buy the milk with the experation date thats further from the current date by at lat least six months. people, who, when they see kids on there lawn, do the world a service to the war veterans, and yell at them to get off there lawns. because thats what god wants people to do. yell at other people in hopes thell really get off there precios blue alabama grass thats crisp in the morning and ready to feed the stupid people in the afternoon. moo bitches.

if theres anything really surprising, its still the fact i have fallen completely in love with caasi, like charly sheen has the bottle. im addicted to her, i love her voice, the way she moves, the way her hair smeels like grapes all the time, its just brilliant! i love her!!!!! and she loves me! and were happy as happy can be! just like jay leno falls in love with his over sized chin that scares little children at night. because night is when mr. rogers comes out with the most evil question of them all. “would you like to be my neighbor?” but i do love her, and would pretty much protect her from any harm, because thats what dedicated boyfriends to with there girlfriends. unlike k-fed. that ass.

mean while, what zrii hasnt cured, casi has. as well as her cool looking friend ceaser! yes im probably going to write alot about the two in the following weeks and months. because hes just so fucking awesome.

i have no fucking clue what to write next because i started writing this thing and oh fuck my nose has a annoyng drip at the end of it…. it really does bug the crap out of me, but by the time you read this it will have been deleted… not the blog, god no. i would never delete any of these babies. i love em too much. there we go , wiped it away, now im all better. just like the results of the oj stalkers versus oj in the case of the mistaken murdereererererererererererererer. lol… you sound like a motor boat. congratulations. i just annoyed the hell out of you with that senseless line.

abercromby and fucking finch!!!! you hear that!? abercromby is fucking fiches. that evil bastard! HOW DARE HE FUCK THOSE TINY LITTLE BIRDS. ITS LIKE SCREWING A TUBE SOCKS!!!!!! more important, do they throw up the finisher? fatality…death by spermicide.

its actually kind of amazing but i really have to pee.and now that ive done peeing…not in my pants, but in the toilet…like you really needed to know that…. i shall embarrass you more that by revealing the ultimate answer is 42 or 43… depending on what hemisphere you live in…. OH MY FUCKING GOD, I KNOW HOW TO WRITE THE WORD HEMISPHERE! IM A FUCKING GENIUS! but im a gneius who doesnt know how to spell the wor amphipbianatical auquatic deprevationalitical casualties. MOTHER FUCKER I AM A GIANT DICKED GENIUS!!!!! lol…. not to get a big head about such trivial meanings of life, love, the persiut of happiness in which will smith made na ass out of himself for his kid by solving a god damned rubix cube in the movie before i had a to change monkeys… because the current thosuand just wrote scripts for joey. which explains why there writing yet another highschool musical!!!!!!!!

oh god… oh my mother fucking whore bashing midget slinging god. wgy on this mother fucking earth did they have to make another one!!!!!!!???? WHYYYYYYYY? what is it with these idiot fiasco fasinated people that they have to make a fucking musical about probably the most akward time in our lives. great, that to hollywood, our next couple of generations is gong to wind up, singing there way through the midterm, accompannied by semi good looking people. THERE ARE NO UGLY PEOPLE IS THE MOVIE!!!! NO FUCKING UGLY PEOPLE IN THE GODDAMNED MOVIE!!!! what the fuck is up with that shit! you know, i was just cruising along the channels and BOOOOOOOOOOOM! there it is, the worst of the worst, the most highly anticipated year of the series, its worse then the lord of the rings! it even has a better ending then this peice of shit movie! WHO THE HELL WRITES THIS CRAP!???? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!

WHO?????

what its not enough that we suffer through a bunch of horrendous movie to game franchise, but we have to go through highschool all over again in the next 14 hours!!!!???? why!!!!??? why the fuck god why??? im sad, im more then sad, im fucking depressed at this pile pf crap we call the highschool musical 3…. god, i cant wait for the seqeul to this shit, colledge musical, where we get to follow the stupid beatiful people through yet another year of selfless self indulgense as they sing there way through, drunken one night stands with drunken chearleaders, both male and female. i know my target audience here. not to mention the creepy stalker song where it kind of sounds and looks like a rip off of pin ball wizard.

dont get me start on kim… because i will. shes the tainted love of my heart, the sadness that she brings with her to people she rejects, is more then enough cause to start world war through. lol. yes i went there, and im feeling a bit more evil then i originaly was, because early i was just going after stupid people., and celeberities, now im going to go after stupid people ive run into during my whole current number of years being alive. and if youve read this far, i congratulate you on your percerverence, may you do well in life alltogether.

back to the shrapnel that is a nuke in the fishball. bowl. its amazing, ive written myself to sobriety. I HAVE LETERALLY WRITTEN MY SELF TO SOBRIETY!!!!! TAKE THAT CHARLY SHEEN AND MARTIN SHEEN COMBINED!

you know, ive run into a lot of stupid people in my time and this really is the shit of them all. because he taught me so many good and bad things in life as well as the basic foundation for my current set of rules. bobby freaking zolezi. love the little bastard to death because in a way, ive had to deal with more of his drama then id like to. but it cant be all bad can it? not really, there were actually a lot of times where things were cool and we hung out and chitted about stupid things. that girlfriends stealing bastard. wish you were here. so i could hit you in the head. with a hug of friendship. and then kick you in the shin. with gifts of kindness. sending mixed messages is fun!

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