OH MY FUCKING GOD

I was thinking about the grand scope of the universe and why it was the squirrels get the best stick in life, like an ACTUAL fucking stick, I mean, if it were an actual FUCKING STICK that’d be questionable, because then you’d see sweet old ladies screaming for their lives with bags of broken crackers, all the while a fuck ton of squirrels with oddly bloody twigs would be chasing her, and you KNOW shit’s about to go down when you see that kind of bullshit happen.

I once saw an octopus. No reason really, it was just there, and I was having the time of my life just looking at this fucking thing, and I was like, “Hey, octopus.” And the thing did say a word, because it has an ass mouth. That’s right, you heard, Octopi have ass mouths, they can be masters of talking shit, because of their ass mouths, and there’s nothing you or I can really do about it.

There’s such a thing as redundant torture, where you do something utterly inane to someone else over a large or short period of time, and they’ll finally be all, “Hey, what the fuck.” All calm like, but you know deep down they’re sad.
Or… something, I don’t fucking know.

Maybe we’re all just in a simulation and the robots are the real players here, because that’d be absolutely amazing, if ready player one wasn’t about the time space-continuum because a vacation inditing the mass roach riot of 20:14 military time, because I like fucking with people’s perception of things every now and then. It’s just a thing I do, you know how I know? Because you aren’t me, and even if you were, I’d still be the one writing this fucking thing, so you can’t stop me no matter who you are!
Yes, I ripped that from Ace venture, which is honestly my favorite movie of all time.

I don’t wonder why time traveling eggs don’t time travel, they’d be too chicken by the end of it. Ha.

Dumb jokes for smart people include:
1. My dating life.
My hair line.
The fact I more famous than a regular potato.
Every knows a regular potota. Or potato.
Fuck pototas. They’ve done nothing for humanity.

Those assholes.
This blog was brought to you by the overwhelming need to fuck around on the interenet and write some weird bullshit that’ll make you question if I’m high or not.
I am 6″5 or six foot five inches. Why does my jaw feel like a peice of toast ready to pop the fuck out of a toaster? Oh yeah, gravity. I keep forgetting that’s a thing.
Kinda like Brangolina. Or Bracheal.
Or Bennigan’s.

Here’s an update to EoB.

20180220_190001Alrighty, so here’s an update for the massive undertaking that is “Evolution of a Blogger” So it booped up from 898 to 916 pages, and given createspace’s page limitations based on book sizing, I think it’s a safe bet to say that instead of one MASSIVE book, like I was originally planning, I’ll probably end up breaking it up into two or three books in a series. So I’ve got word opened up and I’ve created a header system to better organize the fuck out of things, because, as we all know, searching through a fuck ton of pages is a great way to spend time better used editing! Here’s a screen cap:

Okay… Apparently that feature does not fucking work. I’m not angry, I just swear a lot when I’m writing. It’s a bit off putting, I know, but at the same time, it’s like you’re getting to know a very angry Sailor who’s verbally abusive towards an empty bottle of scotch. It makes more sense if you tend not to think too hard about it.

Anyways, the header system actually saves a shit ton of time when trying to keep track of everything, because not only do I have to edit, and keep track of the post titles, because i’m more micromanaging than a South Korean Starcraft player, later on, after everything is all said and done, I have to reorganize everything so that the posts that aren’t in order, are now in order from Oldest to newest, and that’s… Not going to be fun at all… Not one fucking bit, it’s actually stressing me out just thinking about how much work i have to knock out.

But it’s a good, motivational stress that I know for a fact comes with the job. And i’m pretty psyched about the whole prospect. At the moment, I just got into the 2010 blogs, and I dunno about you, but in 2010… ugh. I don’t even want to think about it. Anyways, so here’s how I have things broken down:

Title>Table of contents>Year>Month>Title

It doesn’t make much sense when put like that, not because i’m lazy, but because i just drank half a pot of coffee by mixing three scoops of coffee groundsĀ  and some water into a thermos, swooshed that around, let it sit over night, and drank nearly half of it in the morning. So yeah, moving on, staying focused.

So, There are three levels of Table of Contents:

  1. The MAIN Table of contents which lists the years covered in the book itself.
  2. Those years have their own table of contents, which lists the months covered.
  3. Those months then have their own table of content directing the reader to individual posts.

I figured it’d save a bunch of time in the long run doing that instead of a massive table of content listing every post in order of appearance, because you know how it goes, right? you’re sitting there, scouring the internet for every single blog post you’ve ever made, trying to find the greatest source of them all, because we all have that giant core of blogs that’s our main hub of weird bullshit, then we have our ‘Secret’ Blogs that aren’t on face book. For myself, I have several places where I’ve blogged.

  1. Facebook
  2. WordPress
  3. Blogger
  4. Blogit
  5. Myspace
  6. Pastebin
  7. Twitlonger
  8. Twitter
  9. Discord
  10. Fubar
  11. Black planet
  12. Bigente
  13. Matchdoctor
  14. Adultmatchdoctor
  15. Tumblr
  16. Posterous
  17. LiveJournal
  18. OKCupid
  19. and more…

So far, Word press, blogit, Facebook, pastebin, and others are the largest repository for blogs I’ve posted in the past, and while i’m going to have an Extra’s section, I am also scouring old chat logs and other sources for older posts than 2007… Because I will document every scrap of my own rambling stupidity if it’s the last thing I do!

Though i’m trying to stay focused, I’ve also got a number of other projects under my belt that i’m trying like hell to get published, edited and formatted and off the table. The biggest, thus far was One Shots: Army of the Incomplete, basically a huge collection of short stories that I just kind of left by the wayside for so long that they no longer mattered to me. Sometimes these things were a paragraph long, other times had the potential to become something more than they currently were, but for whatever reason, I just didn’t have the time or focus to work on them like I truly wanted to.

There are some projects with a branching story path, which is why I loved website with a treegraph system in place so I can just pick up where i left off on that particular adventure, but Storymash, Protagonize, and other such giants fell by the wayside.

Sucks, but that’s how things usually are when it comes to creative writing, and unless you update the UI or color scheme for these kinds of websites to reflect modern times, or it’s basically just a big ass bloated monster with many hands writing many things all connected to each other at one point or another, you never truly know the impact such a thing might have, or the hole it’ll leave behind when it’s gone. I just reminded myself to search on those various sites, If you’re interested in seeing what other things i have up my sleeve, feel free to join my discord server, probably the only non-racist server on the platform. I’m also on Sola under Gripmonkey, here are the links to both:

https://sola.ai/gripmonkey
https://discord.gg/7dCKpZu

Well, time to kick ass and take names!

First off, I’m an author, just search up Morgan James Gavin on amazon.com and you’ll most likely come up upon these fine titles:

  1. Wrath of Puppy Monkey Baby
  2. Messages to an Illegitimate President
  3. The Debate of Factions
  4. The Six Strings of the Highlanders Guitar
  5. Songs of the Soul
  6. Manliest Diary in the world
  7. Year End Review
  8. One Shots – Army of the Incomplete

And if you search up Dorikame on Amazon, you’ll most likely see these:

  1. The Dorikame Saga: Birth of Change
  2. The Dorikame Saga: Broken Omen

All of these are available to purchase in paperback, and a few of them are available to download to your kindle or smartphone for 99 cents. And while many of those titles are huge swathes of work I no longer have to focus on, mind you, the page counts for those sons of bitches range from 50 pages to to 724 pages (Songs of the Soul).

Now then, are you ready for the real shit? Here we go, those were just cannon fodder, seriously. those, up there? Total cannon fodder. These next ones, these are the big guys that’re going to take a LOT of hutzpah to fucking get out:

  1. Evolution of a Blogger
  2. Morgan Gavin’s Tweet Storm
  3. Sogno Della Dinistia (Books 1 through 10)
  4. The Dorikame Saga (books 3 through 10)
  5. The Lost Nightmares of OKCupid (Dear God Help me.)

So… Yeah, not to mention all the other projects that I have lined up that I’ve been itching to get into book form for the longest fucking time. Some of these things have been YEARS in the making, and ya know what? I’m pretty damned psyched. There are also projects that I’ve begun working on from other sites that really just need to be out there.

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