whathefuck!?

sonfoabitchicantsleepwhatthefuckswrongwithmethisthinghasnoperiods!!!! im too hyper need to vent, need to do something need to go nuts and write something complettly random and inconsiderate… how about vals a prick and no onel ikes him? nah thats something everything will not agree with, told you i cant sleep got a lot of energy in me what the fuck is wrong with me, why dont i just jackoff and hope for the best, well i could do that but then i would probly pass out with the strain of all the sperm going out of my sytem. wow, that was more graphic then you needed huh? well lets get this over with shall we?

first thing thats on my mind is the fact that i havent been talking with …with… that one gal that i was crushing on then stoped for some reason… weird about that thing aint it. acutally thats been on my mind for a couple of days now.

maybe its just me being me, but i wouldve thought that after forming a stupid patern i wouldve gotten stuck in it with christina, but i guess i kinda mellowed myself out there a good long time. chistina, how i think i fell for you during the time that i did, but i told you my feelings and you kindly rejected them, and then i got it in my thick head that your just going to be a friend, that was cool with me. i dunno, maybe i was just tired of the whole rigamarole, where i feel for the asb president and then i went on this long stupid rant about oh i how i would part the heavens or someother crazy crap something about greek god of love or something. i dont really remember. but then ianother stupid thought came to mind, it was just a thought mind you so theres not really any intent behind it.

i kinda…well totaly entertained the daydream of that day in the asb office where i told her that i loved her… this was beforei met caasi so there is no real harm in writing about htis. plus im going to anyways. whether i like it or not. love you muuuuch caasi! anyways, i was in the asb office and i asked her if i could kiss her and she said yes. which lead to wierdly enough a sex fantasy in the office. which mightve been really weird slash awesome had it actually happened. because i know that it might never happen, maybe it would im just getting all worked up over nothing. maybe its just the energy coursing through my viens at the moment.

but in anycase… wow im just writing about this one thing arnt i? and i keep mispelling words! YAY MOTHERFUCKERS! nope didnt mispell that word. anyways, i think there was a point in my mind at the day where i truly did want to just kiss christina on the lips, but im kinda glad i didnt, and i am very happy to report that i am happy that it didnt happen or else i never wouldve met my love. lol. wow, im getting nervous over confessing something in a blog? congratu fucking lations people. your witnessing the birth of something thats nervous from the get go, a tiny nervous thing that likes coffee.

a poodle? gaurd dog? bull? redbull! i like redbull. i think it kinda tastes like medicine and thats cool with me. anything that tastes like the backwards part of a perverted docs medicine cabinet suits me just fine. aberforth dumbledoor, dumbells and broomhicks. hickeys! vampires! zombies! spitting out any random thing that pops into my mind and hoping thatll make sense and connect with the other stuff before the freedom train makes a stop at kfc to put a… breath you magnificent bastard you!

enough with the bad jokes, its like i cant stop writing and this is the prize! more writing! i think that its just nervous stimuli from the brain coersing my fingers to type whatever my mind thinking at the moment. like hot midget anal sex toys that make disnet land look like a carnival of carnage. wow… aint that pretty to imagine. a bunch of short short people with hotpants getting it on with a plastic pickle attached to the business end of a screwdriver set on “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT DOING IN THERE!!!?” yes my mind is completly fucked up at the moment. maybe ill just run out of things to right, fall asleep while jacking off to my lady loves image and hope for the best damned orgasm and man can hope for. and to quote a old favorite of mine.

“one of these days alice, bang zoom! straight to the moon!’ and thats in relation to how hard i freaking ejaculate. you people really should be reading something else at this point in time. because if youve stuck with me through this far into the blog, youve either got a strong stomach for weird crap or your just bred as hell. even as im writing this i can feel the demons in my heart and mind laughing the shiny spiky little tails off wondering what the fuck is going on with my head at the mometn.

well i can tell you this much folks, a lot of weird crazy crap. did you know that there are blogging siteso ut there with a limit to what you can put in your blogs? its just fucking insane, like a chinese blogging site, the amount of matter that can be seen like porn is just not there. youknow, that would actually be kinda interesting to see a pornstars blog, just once idl ike there to be news that some girls going to be doing a guys with a huge dong and its oging all the way in and shes complaining buts the stiching from the last guy hasnt really healed up yet. this is real stuff folks, really really reall stuff. i wantched a documentary on the lives of porn stars called, goin down in the valley. mightve been more interesting had they actualy sown something.

then theres the fact that ive had to make a third youtube channel. yep this is the stuff of dreams right here folks. youtube, sex dreams, jerking off, midgets, making fun of vals job, my love life, past loves and really disturbing stuff, like seeing a fat person in a string bikini with really really bad back hair. and jumping up and down. yes that would be the hairy fat lady that doesnt have a goatee burning from up her vagina….. and im spent… not in that way you sick person you. god i hope i didnt write anything embarrassing in here…. well, now to post the thing and hope for the best.

later! love you caasi! cant wait to see you again!

RANTA PALOOZA!!!! NO MUSIC INCLUDED!

hello again folks, welcome to another edition…of inside edition. where we tell you absolutley every you already know about the celebreities you love…and then promptly do it again. because we CARE… oh crap… that was an acronym for “can alex baldwin really eat?” yes he can. see you already knew that and im on a roll here. who the fuck knew right? right…. beside the lack of self stating evidence that john mccain is nothing more then an attacking bully to obamas cool headed self. and i think this really stands out on a singular point, which charly could try to do at any given time, if he werent so damned drunk.

but more then alec baldwins evil message of kill the pig and spill his blood. then promptly open a fast food resteraunt and make liverworst the liver best in the nation, i think we got our selves and already decided president. there really isnt a need for the debates, or the election process because obamas going to take this thing hands down. why? because john mccain will probably die with in the next ten minutes and there will be no really impressive oppisition. oh sure there the evil dick cheney clone of sarah palin who seems to be the darth vader to john mccains emporer palpitine. oh screw off star wars fan boys. go shoot lightning out your asses and blame stan lee for fucking up indiana jones. fucking crstal skulls.

in other news, i now have a girlfriend, thank you for stating the obvios you horny old bastard. no… i really am 24… which is really freaking wierd considering the fact the john mccains 20000000000000000….. oh fuck it, he was alive before the big bang… he mightve caused the big bang when he crapped himself. most scientists would agree. sorry for ripping on the opsition here, but some odd unknown reason, ripping on mccain and palin is like watching the jackson family reunion where micheal hangs his kid out a window and janet shows off her tit while her “mysterios illness” takes the world by storm. oooo… i wonder what it could be? not enough attention from justin timberlake, or maybe it was the fact that we have not heard a single word from the other members of the family in so long, that they might be dead already. i think there dead. could they be? i dont know, ask oj…hes probably stealing things and killing people off left and right, then writing books about how he would have done it while amy whinehouse beats the hell out of him, for not giving her crack rocks….

meanwhile, in the debates, obamas like the proverbial joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat. basicly he walks on stage, crap flies out, and people beleive him for some strange reason… oh yeah i know why… the us doesnt want another republican in the white house. were fucking sick to death of idiots in the spotlight, doing shit there asses dont know anything about. yeah you heard me. fuck you mr. bush. damn you for reading my blogs for advice. DAMN YOU!!!!!!! go join charly sheen in getting drunk, screwing up the national budget, and then fuck each other while doing crack during the 1970s. ha!!!!!!! and double ha!!!!!

meanwhile other celberities are just getting powder blue priuses just for the thrill of giving birth in the back of something other then a 42 mustang convertible with all leather interior, satilite weapons capabilities, and james bond esque sex. i mention james bond esque sex because its exciting in the beginning and then nothing really happens when the credits start rolling. and then people start leaving there seats and venture off into the real world, wondering why mi6 is searching face book, for the idiot responsible for… selling a camera with top secret information. wow… good going pennywise.

to me, not much difference between the acts of falling in love, then falling out of love, then falling in the money pit, where tom hanks will rape you until your screaming out the secret of the davinci code at the top of your lungs while he plays chopsticks on a giant piano….and getting shotin the head by the godfearing rifle bearing idiot, who blames it on a flack jacket worn by melbrooks while waiting for some other rifle bearing idiot to shoot down the producers. man this things just getting evil aint it? more!!!!!

i havent been paying attention to the local news, because the local news is written like a bunch of seventh and eith grading tooks over the printing press, raped and pilaged every last respectable writing staff in the universe, bombed pearl harbor, blamed it on the japenese, then raped and pilaged nbc offices for ideas on decent shows, created joey, then wrote something down, and forced the editor in cheif to print the damned thing. its weird how everything is in the world, first you have the large communities, who by far, might be respectable if not for the fopahs of releasing stupid articles about even stupider people, and then repeat those very same veritable actions of the stupid people, making themselves look even more stupid. its a vicios circle.

then we have the medium communitiesm who just dont really give a crap about anything other then there overly obsessiv step fathers who touch them in the middle of the night, claiming to be doctors, when they really arent. there just evil peds who like touching things. then…heres the funny part, when the whole communities finds out what they already know, its SHOCKER! meaning that a wrestler, has just jammed his two fingers down your throat and made you throw up you lunch… on review… that last sentence made less sense then the mj trials of underwear versus socks. which is better to masterbait with?

speaking of which there been a little bit of debate about prop 8, which bans gay marriages. yeah… try telling that to gay people who get married in vegas just to avoid the whole rigamorale of the legal system. look, people are goin to vote for something they like, and against something they dont like. its just that simple. so what did i vote on it? no. everyone should have…wait..almost everyone. and the only person i could think of, that doesnt deserve to get married would be brian quinoness, whos just a complete assholic. lol…i dont mean that hes gay…which he is….i mean that hes a complete asshole. who likes the drink a bit too much. which explains a number of things regaurding the mind department. “oh im better then everyone else so im going to make anything i think sucks ass feel bad about the wya they do things and blah blah blah..” who really gives a shit?

there are more important things to worry about then crouching insults and flying lawsiuts against the poor, blind, deaf, tarded, monkey handed and stupid. i say stupid because…. well…. there are just stupid people out there who deserve that title, and thats all im saying.

look… its not my fault that some people are just born with the stupid gene put in them…brian…. lol… yes david i know your reading this thinking that im gay for brian… im not…. im horny for cassi. you heard right. deal. but the american justice system is onipotent in itsm any ways which make andy dick look normal. like the fact the joe olsteen whose surpisingly…other then looking like a creepy smiling idiot… is a good enough pastor that whe gets paid to yap on and on about things people already know about. good, god fearing people who that your supposed to buy the milk with the experation date thats further from the current date by at lat least six months. people, who, when they see kids on there lawn, do the world a service to the war veterans, and yell at them to get off there lawns. because thats what god wants people to do. yell at other people in hopes thell really get off there precios blue alabama grass thats crisp in the morning and ready to feed the stupid people in the afternoon. moo bitches.

if theres anything really surprising, its still the fact i have fallen completely in love with caasi, like charly sheen has the bottle. im addicted to her, i love her voice, the way she moves, the way her hair smeels like grapes all the time, its just brilliant! i love her!!!!! and she loves me! and were happy as happy can be! just like jay leno falls in love with his over sized chin that scares little children at night. because night is when mr. rogers comes out with the most evil question of them all. “would you like to be my neighbor?” but i do love her, and would pretty much protect her from any harm, because thats what dedicated boyfriends to with there girlfriends. unlike k-fed. that ass.

mean while, what zrii hasnt cured, casi has. as well as her cool looking friend ceaser! yes im probably going to write alot about the two in the following weeks and months. because hes just so fucking awesome.

i have no fucking clue what to write next because i started writing this thing and oh fuck my nose has a annoyng drip at the end of it…. it really does bug the crap out of me, but by the time you read this it will have been deleted… not the blog, god no. i would never delete any of these babies. i love em too much. there we go , wiped it away, now im all better. just like the results of the oj stalkers versus oj in the case of the mistaken murdereererererererererererererer. lol… you sound like a motor boat. congratulations. i just annoyed the hell out of you with that senseless line.

abercromby and fucking finch!!!! you hear that!? abercromby is fucking fiches. that evil bastard! HOW DARE HE FUCK THOSE TINY LITTLE BIRDS. ITS LIKE SCREWING A TUBE SOCKS!!!!!! more important, do they throw up the finisher? fatality…death by spermicide.

its actually kind of amazing but i really have to pee.and now that ive done peeing…not in my pants, but in the toilet…like you really needed to know that…. i shall embarrass you more that by revealing the ultimate answer is 42 or 43… depending on what hemisphere you live in…. OH MY FUCKING GOD, I KNOW HOW TO WRITE THE WORD HEMISPHERE! IM A FUCKING GENIUS! but im a gneius who doesnt know how to spell the wor amphipbianatical auquatic deprevationalitical casualties. MOTHER FUCKER I AM A GIANT DICKED GENIUS!!!!! lol…. not to get a big head about such trivial meanings of life, love, the persiut of happiness in which will smith made na ass out of himself for his kid by solving a god damned rubix cube in the movie before i had a to change monkeys… because the current thosuand just wrote scripts for joey. which explains why there writing yet another highschool musical!!!!!!!!

oh god… oh my mother fucking whore bashing midget slinging god. wgy on this mother fucking earth did they have to make another one!!!!!!!???? WHYYYYYYYY? what is it with these idiot fiasco fasinated people that they have to make a fucking musical about probably the most akward time in our lives. great, that to hollywood, our next couple of generations is gong to wind up, singing there way through the midterm, accompannied by semi good looking people. THERE ARE NO UGLY PEOPLE IS THE MOVIE!!!! NO FUCKING UGLY PEOPLE IN THE GODDAMNED MOVIE!!!! what the fuck is up with that shit! you know, i was just cruising along the channels and BOOOOOOOOOOOM! there it is, the worst of the worst, the most highly anticipated year of the series, its worse then the lord of the rings! it even has a better ending then this peice of shit movie! WHO THE HELL WRITES THIS CRAP!???? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!

WHO?????

what its not enough that we suffer through a bunch of horrendous movie to game franchise, but we have to go through highschool all over again in the next 14 hours!!!!???? why!!!!??? why the fuck god why??? im sad, im more then sad, im fucking depressed at this pile pf crap we call the highschool musical 3…. god, i cant wait for the seqeul to this shit, colledge musical, where we get to follow the stupid beatiful people through yet another year of selfless self indulgense as they sing there way through, drunken one night stands with drunken chearleaders, both male and female. i know my target audience here. not to mention the creepy stalker song where it kind of sounds and looks like a rip off of pin ball wizard.

dont get me start on kim… because i will. shes the tainted love of my heart, the sadness that she brings with her to people she rejects, is more then enough cause to start world war through. lol. yes i went there, and im feeling a bit more evil then i originaly was, because early i was just going after stupid people., and celeberities, now im going to go after stupid people ive run into during my whole current number of years being alive. and if youve read this far, i congratulate you on your percerverence, may you do well in life alltogether.

back to the shrapnel that is a nuke in the fishball. bowl. its amazing, ive written myself to sobriety. I HAVE LETERALLY WRITTEN MY SELF TO SOBRIETY!!!!! TAKE THAT CHARLY SHEEN AND MARTIN SHEEN COMBINED!

you know, ive run into a lot of stupid people in my time and this really is the shit of them all. because he taught me so many good and bad things in life as well as the basic foundation for my current set of rules. bobby freaking zolezi. love the little bastard to death because in a way, ive had to deal with more of his drama then id like to. but it cant be all bad can it? not really, there were actually a lot of times where things were cool and we hung out and chitted about stupid things. that girlfriends stealing bastard. wish you were here. so i could hit you in the head. with a hug of friendship. and then kick you in the shin. with gifts of kindness. sending mixed messages is fun!

myspace, google virus, biden/palin, obama mccain, and whatever.

im sorry darling, but theres only so much plastic surgery you can do to that vagina of yours. and whatever you do, dont add fake eyes.

man oh man! welcome to enigmatts rants, im enigmatt and the little girl winking at the camera will tell you that she sees russia from her tea house. of course it relies mostle on the hubbles inability to see galaxys upclose with out raping the national budget. whyed we put a man on the moon for? golkf? why dont i beleive that? oh yeah, lol… its because every time bush opens his mouth, obama and mccain argue over stupid crap that would make lisa marree cry in her sleep while micheal jackson banged the cub scouts of america. jesus jiuce anyone?

so by this point youve got to be asking yourself this one extremely important question… because the world of polotics is just too fucking funy for eddie murphy to get it on with baby doll t shirts whil masterbating to doogey housers l’life on the road’.  “WHERE HAVE ALL THE COOKIES GONE?” yes thats right folks, for every ten dollars you give to me, ill not only not give it to charity, but ill spend it on porn.

myspace…this really chaps my ass, because i usually do these things on myspace and not word press. but ever since the google virus hit, and if you dont know what that s, then your more clueless then a half sober lionel richie beating the crap out of a metal pipe with his head. the google virus is a pain in myspaces butt. not only because it just turns your ass over to google, but it also messes up you hard drive like a little bitch. the fact that millions of teens everywhere are going to have fits of rage  with wich the likes preschool teachers have never seen before because of this, is more then enough reason to just let them try to login. lol. mua ha ha… evil i am.

the vice presidential debates were more interesting to watch then a more brutal version of the three stogges marathon. ony because i was completely expecting palin to just fuck the whole thing up with her saying of “dont ya know?” “you betcha!” “i have respect for your argument” heres something i never really expected to happen though. in the last half of the debate, it went from two people intelligently attacking each other jugulars to..well… two slightly less intelligent people attacking each others jugulars. like we really needed another reminder of how fucked up they made indiana jones. they just raped his ass, over and over and over and over again.  ALIENS DONT BELONG IN INDIANA JONES DAMNINt!!!!!!!

speaking of which, the presidential debates were a little less entertaining to watch then a bad porno being shot with crack heads shanking eah other in the pussys with rabid weasels. yeah… it was that bad. all in all the more hilerous versions were on cnn. that little line was just the most entertaining part of the whole thing. mccain spoke, line go down, obama speak, line go up! LOL! folks i hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but doesnt anybody NOT pay attention to the incredibly inept ranking of the stock market? or do we just like seeing marketeers run around screaming things like “OH MY FUCKING GOD WERE ALL GONNA DIE LIKE A BAD MOVIE REMAKE OF SOMETHING MORE HORRENDOUS THEN SEEING JOAN RIVERS ON TV!!!!!!” and that my friends is a fate wosre then death. because joan rivers will eat your childrens feet, then make them dance forever in a pit of broken glass made of discarded botox syringes.

to really see the horror of the new google virus, you have to get inside steve irwins head, then promptly run out screaming something the lines of ” FUCK THIS SHIT! IM WATCHING JOEY!” because folks, the inside of steve irwins head is nothing more then beastiality tapes, with him screwing a gecko and being the bitch in the relationship. in fact, i think i can hear him doing his chihuahua. i was asleep last night and amidst the fainting music that constantly complimented the rabid monkey balls, that constantly hammered away at the cheese bunkers mineral deposits. i was whisked away to a magical place where  the only punishment in the world was getting sodomized by a blue whales dick in the ear. and most people dont live through something like that.

i found out that while perusing the dick cheney esque friend shooting videos, that humans as a whole are nothing more then god fearing idiots with rifles in our hands, waiting to be shot in the head by the god fearing idiot with a rifle in his hands, who happened to be standing right next to us telling us that his problem was firing the damned thing. like we really needed help figuring that out. there were far more sinister problems in the road to recovery, and im going to rant about that next. the road to fucking recovery. because she is hot and i would fuck her in the ass with the head of a baseball bat.

the raod to revorey in the econic crisis isnt merly something that the national debt wont decrease or reverse with. in fact, the national debt is a jewish reminder that we fucked over the britains when we declared ourselves tax exempt from there tea smacking ways, and formed our own little crackden in the world. the road to revery is merely a stepping stone to a world where black and whites and asian and arabs can get together for a nice game of “who the fuck killed the president this time?” because as we all know, bush needs to be attacked in the head with a five foot dildo and called a stupid mother fucker for getting a movie made about him and dick cheney having lunch together. can you fucking imagine that? bush and cheney eating lunch? I CANT BELEIVE THEY EAT LUNCH!!!!!!!

IF ANYTHING I COULDNT IMAGINE ANYONE with more gall or idiosy making a movie about one of the worst presidents in the united states. nay mr. bush, not only the states, the fucking world. because life itself cant be explained when youve got your head in other countrys asses. and maybe thats just what this country needs, another head to ass president who thinks he knows what the flying fuck hes doing. of course this can only be alleviated by the fact that more shows from the sixties are getting a face lift that would have mellissa richars screaming in fits of rage as well as physical shame. im sorry darling, but theres only so much plastic surgery you can do to that vagina of yours. and whatever you do, dont add fake eyes.

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