Technology! it’s a good thing!

Or… maybe not, it all depends on what you’re looking for. Really, look, I get it, you’re looking for quality, meme producing content, or you might be a blog snob, but fear not, for I give zero fucks, and you my friend, are in the right place after all! Sometimes i wonder if the things we think about are the things we should be focused on,. Lemme explain y’all something, right?
Okay, so the things we focus on aren’t exactly the things we need to focu on at the moment, because there are tons of other things going through our heads at any one point in time, it’s a combination of douche fuckery that’s both entertaining and dissuading at the same time, and I get it.
You have a set schedule and limited shit to do, but for me, something that might need to be focused on is suddenly and irrevocably distracted by some idiot wondering into my field of view or just a dumb ass random action which will invariably cause a mediocre avalanche or other things and…. well, nothing will get done.
I’m starting to think I might have ADHD, or maybe my blank mind is so zen that, well, I float like a butterfly and fuck like a bee…
Wait, that’s not how that saying goes, but fuck that, let’s move on to whatever random and mind fumblingly dumb bull shit we seem to have forgotten about or moved onto today, shall we?
Because that’s the law of averages, and sometimes, you just need  that fluff and filler to vacuum out the smarter shit in your life.
Those who know me and have had conversations with me while I’m in my unfiltered or unfocused state, kind of like a flashlight with courgettes, or however that words spelled, will no doubt have had one of those moments, where nothing makes senses, but at the same time, you’re like, well, this is different, let’s give it a go!

And that’s what I’m all about, the random ,the mystifying, the weirdly dumb and sometimes funny. Because while yes, I could do what the rest of the world likes, and follow one stream of thought or another on how many fucking selfies I need to take with various filters colors or stupid manufactured bull shit, that’s… not what I’m about. I can’t handle all that prep just for a single picture that will invariable be ignored by the majority of social Media addicted brain slugs that crawl among us, hidden in their own ethereal covens of giggles coffee, and tiny mustaches. I have a BEARD DAMN IT!

And that beard is like a sex magnet, if… that were only the case and I could stay focused long enough to actually try and be a sex magnet.

Let me tell you about the God of All Things, Randy. that was a weird as fuck segway, but I swear, everything will connect on a level you never saw coming, and this is why I continue to only get a few interaction on my blog at a time.

Randy is a magician at what he does, but lemme tell about something else entirely, why? Because I take a few weeks to finish blog posts for some reason, and my cats keep doing the thing, oh shit! I forgot to get the laundry started, annnnnd that’s now a thing.
but more then that is the concept of loving who you are or what you are.
Males?
We got the dick ball combo, nothing wrong with that, that’s just how we’re built.
The Ladies?
Y’all got boobs, vagina, and the uterus, which, in all honesty, put y’all one step ahead of us… I think.
Okay i’m going to talk about this, because I’m kind of tired of the whole mentality that guys are taking a step back in media, cause we’re riding the same wave as you girls, and y’a know what? it goes around the sun, and no matter what, Furbies are still fucked.

They truly are fucked in the head, little adorable creatures that for no real reason will start yapping their plastic asses off because that’s EXACTLY what I want to hear in the middle of the morning, that sweet sweet release of, “ME LOVE YOUR SOUL!”

Yeah, that’s kind of fucking priceless right there. THIS IS QUALITY CONTENT PEOPLE! Like and subscribe if you feel the need to validate my existence, which I know you don’t!
Because free will is willingly free, or we’d all be paying a subscription fee, which I think we already kind of do, since you know, Amazon Prime and all of that, but that’s neither here nor there, I use a lot of the same sayings from time to time don’t I?
Shit, now i’m a bit self conscious, but there’s smoke and fire, sometimes you’ll find a hobo whacking it with lighter while smoking a soggy cigar.
Why?
Cause that’s how this shit sometimes rolls y’all!
We got to keep it real, or virtual, because sometimes what’s being read or written isn’t really what’s being said. Because then we’d all be taken way the fuck too literally and there’s nothing wrong with that, if you can call that living.
Actually, on the topic of living, is there such a thing as too much living? I think there is, like, really living. Cells multiplying more than they should, but relatively speaking, I think that’s just called cancer.
But why is cancer called cancer?
doesn’t that feel a bit ironic for peeps who are Cancers via the astrological sign, who get cancer, and they’re like, “Well, HA!?” And that just sets up the whole domino effect of what ifs by comparing similar words to similar situations, all though I could be wrong about that.

god, I miss just being about to write whatever comes to mind, because then it’s such a freeing experience, you don’t have anyone tripping balls in your general direction and yes, I know!

this was such a promising blog post, and then the stinginess of the topic went away and I started being myself!

How fucking weird is that!?

Anyways, I’ve just reached 1030 words totals on this thing. Time to post for no reason.

 

Oh, Shadow, where art thou?

So, yesterday was an adventure in what the fuck.
What’s this!?
An actual blog about actual things, not just random bullshit!?
FOR SHO MOTHAFUCKAS, FO SHO.
Anyways, I was Water Spidering for Universal Receive, and at the start of shift, one of our PAs, Starlight, tells me that a new guys going to Shadow me and I get to show him the ropes.
Yes! I love it when peeps Shadow me, meaning I get to teach people! This is going to awesome!
So,  I introduce myself, and the day goes smoothly, I tell him about picking up Prep, taking care of Transship, Down Stack, Palatalizing, where to put AR and NYR Prep, whether to use a Cage or U boat on certain lines because of the support beams, and we get to work.
I think everything’s going great and he gets pulled aside for another task, because hey, that happens, happened to me, and I was thrown into the deep end and had to ask a lot of questions in order for me to get my bearings, but once I did, I just knocked everything out.
So, I’m knocking things out left and right, and on occasion my Shadow pops around to ask the occasional question and  I do my best to answer him.
But then I notice something, every time I ask him to help me out with something, he asked if he could use the restroom, I think nothing of it, because as a Water spider, you don’t have to ask to use the restroom, you just go, do your thing, then come back.
Five or ten minute would pass before I see him again, and at this point, I starting to get just a little annoyed with him.
Juuuuuuuust a little.
So instead fo talking to Starlight about the issue, I think that I should try and nudge him along, so next time we’re collecting prep, I ask him how he feels about rate and recieving, and since he’s 18 and just out of High-school, he says meh, to most of it, so I ask him if he enjoys Water spidering, and he says that he’ll do it if he’s asked.
I have to remind myself of how I was at 18 in order to refrain from going verbally full bore on the kid, so I gently tell him that if the PAs, Problem Solvers, and AMs see him knocking things out left and right, that they’ll want to use him more. Anyways, gotta get ready for the day. I’ll finish this up in another part.

Fucknuggets.

Some days aren’t great, but I ain’t about to fuckin talk bout that shit, let everyone talk about that shit, Imma talk about… well, now I can’t rightly say, or maybe I can, but I don’t want to, so I might not be able to say what I was about to say before the moment where I could’ve said something about something else but now, this is just a recurring loop of broken ideas and stupid logic.
Everyone has stupid logic.
Even birds.
Yes birds, birds have stupid logic.
Not like stupid human logic, but stupid bird logic.
Squirrels are just fucking stupid, regardless of level of intelligence. But don’t discount sharks.
Fuck sharks.
And spiders.
And clowns.
Actually, fuck any and all combination of the three of those things, because any and all of them are just bad.
really bad.
So bad it makes you think that no matter what, you’re about to find out some shit that don’t make sense, but desperately need to because in a way, Earnest Hemingway did not drink enough.
But then again, stupid Squirrel logic infects everything we do on a level never before seen.
I have not zoomed out.
Not, I have zoomed out, don’t ask why I haven’t zoomed out, maybe I was zoomed in?
Maybe I wasn’t? Maybe I couldn’t be zoomed out or in to save my life, or maybe there’s a need to be more zoomed in than out in this day and age where being zoomed in has more an impact meaning than one would assume.
But you know what they say about assuming things, right?
That donkey’s shouldn’t speed.
Or drive. But they do anyways, because there asses, and they’re a danger to you and me on the road.
Ass Zooming. that’s assuming they know how to drive using those clods hoppers of a hoof on their feet.
But they only have one hoof between all four feet.
Well, they might be transformers.
Hey, we live in a day and age where anyone can be anything or any gender they choose.
I once dated a woman who identified as a ketchup bottle.
Which made sense in a weird way, a way I leave to your imagination, because that’s the kind of logic we’re dealing with here today.
Stupid squirrel spider shark clown bird logic.

Old post from….. I dunno when.

It’s finally off the ground, re-titled, “Evolution of a Blogger”, covering posts from 2008 to 2016, and it’s hovering around 898 pages at THIS point. Good god, it’s FINALLY happening! See, I told you it would happen eventually, People Who Didn’t Believe Me! So far it’s taken me a total of 18 hours just getting everything into its own little place, and there is a LOT of spelling errors, grammatical corrections, punctuation problems, not to mention unnecessary text in places there shouldn’t be to be corrected, not to mention the separating of the posts themselves, making sure the titles of the years months blog post is indexed correctly in that years months table of contents, and just holy shit…. Just holy shit this is the first of four MiniBosses that I’m up against.
I came up with this idea while I was still attending Victor Valley College, and I’m thinking of adding my Facebook Notes to the collection as well, but I don’t want to go overboard, Nah, I don’t think I will.
Other Projects in the pipeline.
I’m scouring Blake and I’s old chat log archive from yahoo messenger for any kind of short story and just random blurb that’s interesting enough to qualify as a short story, and so far I’ve manage to track down the book summaries, the TRUE beginning of the fourth book, a detailed synopsis of book three, 7 or 8 short story ideas, and there is so much more to go! Not to mention my own short story collection here on Facebook as well, in fact, I was about to get started on writing a post on wordpress when I remembered a short story I had written for Maddie K. called “The Ugly Pumpkin” that was total badassery, true, it only had a few parts to it, but I remember having so much passion for those kinds of stories, where there was a real person by whom I was inspired to write a story, to use them as a muse, that energy behind it!
Plus, Halloween was right around the corner, so that story ended up being pretty cathartic for a number of reasons.
Using Createspace.com to make a beach out of a mountain range.
But, So far? I’ve managed to knock out a number of titles on Amazon using a fun little site called Createspace.com, it’s fast, easy and free to use! Best of all? you have the option of either a 35% or a 70% Royalty on all of your titles, multiple avenues of distribution, they don’t force you to pay them to pay for publishing, but rather, give you the option to pay for a professional to design your books cover, not to mention the ability to publish Music CDs or DVDs from their site as well!
Here are my published works, complete with links!
Wrath of Puppy Monkey Baby (Everyone loves this one for some reason.)
Messages to a Really Bad President (Still need to get rid of the old version)
The Debate of Factions (Bush Era Politics and Smoke Monsters)
The Six Strings of the Highlanders Guitar (Story about Family…. a REALLY Fucked up family.)
Songs of the Soul (My big ass book of lyrics) Manliest Diary in the world (Literally a diary for boys.)
One Shots — Army of the Incomplete (A Collection of Short Stories I’ve written over the years.)
And if you search up Dorikame on Amazon, you’ll most likely see these, written by Blake Frazee and myself and published using Xlibris, and for future reference, we will be using Create space for the Revamp of the first book, titled “Dorikame Saga: Birth of Change, Liory King Edition” with additional content, a deeper story-line, and just… better everything mixed in with the original book y’all love so much! We will also be using the Createspace platform for A slightly touched up version of Broken Omen as well as for books 3 through 10 of the Dorikame Saga.
The Dorikame Saga: Birth of Change
The Dorikame Saga: Broken Omen
Everything will be made available to be purchased in eBook format as well for Kindle or whatever y’all have. This includes everything that I’ve written, ever, in the entirety that I’ve been on the internet as far back as I can find it. you remember how I was talking about “EoaB” Or Evolution of a Blogger” being the first of four Mini bosses that I’m tackling?
Well, here are the other three planned projects that qualify in order of size:
Minion Level:
270 Separate
One Shots – Lost and Forgotten
The Brothers Dorikame – Lost Legends
War of the Holos
Masla’s Revenge
Normal Day
Shadow Heart
Rage of the Puppy Monkey Baby
Infinite Web
Miniboss Level
working title:
Okay, Cupid, tell me a love story
Diary of the Mad Twitter
Final Boss Level: Sogno Della Dinastia (Books 1 through 10)
The Dorikame Saga (Books 3 through ten)
My invisible Facebooking…
I am well aware that I haven’t been on Facebook as much as I probably should have, but at the same time, I’ve been more active on twitter and YouTube, I haven’t been sharing my vids from YouTube as much lately because… For no real reason, really. Sometimes the videos are short, stupid, and have no purpose, and other times, I really do have things that are of relevance. I’ve missed out on whatever weirdness is playing out here, partly because I really… just don’t care about that kind of thing, partly because I’m very busy with before mentioned list of projects, writing, compiling, editing, formatting, publishing, that kind of thing, and partly because I just have better things to do. Yes, one could make the argument that could kind of make me a soulless irritating bastard for not liking whatever “cat on a roomba” GIF you uploaded in response to someone making a tart comment about a picture of you eating McDonald’s in an ugly sweater while your boss was wearing a lampshade, drunk off their ass at an office Christmas party that no really cares about anymore, but that’s your problem.
Look, i love y’all, I really do. I’m just incredibly busy knocking these things out left and right. And while, yeah, internet drama is fun and all, after a while you just notice the same repetitive pattern of weird useless BS that repeats itself with a different flavor every time. Is it important? Of course, because it affects you or those close to oyu, or offends or excites you in one way or another. Is it worth investing your time in if you grabs your eye? Hey, you do you, if that makes you happy, go for it.
Personal Evolution
At the same time, we should take a long hard look at how we’re spending our time, and ask ourselves these following questions: Are we using it to the best of our ability? What productivity will come of it? Will we learn or practice a skill or trade from it? Will others find enjoyment out of it in their own ways?
If the answer to all or most of those questions is yes, then by all means, go for it. Do what is important to you, if in the long run, you find yourself in a corner, just do what comes naturally to vent off the steam, get back to your happy place, and move forward. I see this all the time on twitter, teens and young adults getting mad about things from days or weeks ago that they just found out about, and doing their best to try and find a way to make said person feel like an idiot about it. Yeah, to some extent, it’s important for John “I keep my kids imprisoned” Whatshisfuckface to be called out on his bullshit, but if you keep your focus on the stuff that makes you angry? Then I have to ask you, “Why are you so focused on it?” Why focus on the anger and resentment and the fear that will nail your self confidence to the floor and never let up?
I ask these questions, because for the longest time, I was that teen, then young adult, and now that I’ve had some time (Two months, lmao, thank you Great Lakes Naval RTC, you taught me many a thing.) to REALLY think about everything. Every single thing that brought me to that point. I thought about what it was that everyone’s so very angry about, what we’re all so happy about, what makes the world go round and round, and I think I’ve found the answer.
Why we’re angry: We’re angry because of the things we can’t change but want to change. We’re like ants trying to push a ping pong ball up a little mole hill. Individually, a single ant cant do much, but with the support of others, we really can push that ping pong ball over the hill, and get the change we want. Why we’re so happy: Because of the many different celebrations in our lives, celebrating that which elevates us or makes us feel good about ourselves or others is very important, (No shit). Love, birth, discovery, recovery, rehabilitation, reaching our destination on whatever path we hold dear? All of those are reasons to be so very happy!
What makes the world go round: Love, joy, progress, forward momentum that never ceases. We are a collection of people, each of us facing a variety of directions, often times, the directions we face are different from those right next to us, and vice versa, and it may seem like the directions anyone of us is facing, is backwards to another person, but regardless of what direction we are looking towards, we always face forward. Am I stating that every path or facing direction is a healthy one? Nope. Am I stating that one group of people is right over another? Nope. All I’m saying is that the journey forward can face any direction it wishes, and whether or not the destination is good or bad is just another determining factor in our own personal evolution’s.
Big ass thank you to everyone in my life that’s helped me, influenced me, that We’ve talked, conversed in one way or another, or we interacted a few times. All of you are truly amazing people, and believe me, I’ve tried coming up with a list of peeps, trust me, but there are too many to name and I just don’t want to snub anyone or have y’all feel left out.
Peace.
——————–
Update:
I’m now working at Amazon full time, having become a blue badge, things are getting interesting, and I’m pretty happy, I’m guessing this post was written way the fuck in 20…18, had to re-read some of the stuff. Anyways, things are good, God, I really need to get all of those drafts posted.

Dear short women.

As you know, being short or tall has it’s advantages and disadvantages.
Keeping the ass hats away with bad vision is one of them.
I would like to think smaller boobs meaning less back pain would be another one, but then again, it’s a matter of perspective. More importantly, I would like to believe that science has been lying to us all and their are actually two brain halves, one in each breast. this explains why women in general are considered smarter than men.
Because we too have a second brain, it’s just rather unfortunately placed, and we keep sitting on them from time to time.
that being said, as a tall man, or Stretchy Boi as one would phrase it, it’s come to my understanding that Short woman plus Tall man equals Relationship goals. mainly because I’d like to think, and I’m just being blunt here, and I’m quoting a friend here, “That tall man dick just fills more.”
If I am mistaken, please let me know.
Yes, I will talk about the sex organs, whatever’s on my mind, because even though there are things that need pictures of cupcakes, exotic locales, or trips to where ever the fuck, I’m not one of those types that randomly douches it up because “Clickbaiting” means having to lie to you about how awesome I am.
So sirs and Madame’s, I’m treating you, yes YOU, like the beautiful intelligent persons you are and not having bright colorful pictures every two words.
They are pretty, they are fun.
I am neither.
I’m much better than them.
Suck it http://www.travelbanana.org.
You ass.

Right, talking about short women, meh, I really don’t like staying on topic, Short women are the shit, all women are the shit, y’all keep humanity going, no matter the height, because love is love. And We all know what’s at the base end of love, right?
Oh yeah, a shit ton of fuckin’.

But hey, we’re all adults here, and everyone has their things.
Some people like to fall in love, other’s want to love a sad clown in an iron lung.
Because there are people with a void of darkness in their hearts.
OMG THE CUPCAKE TRUCK IS HERE!
Fucking love me some cupcakes.

I’m giving myself ten minutes…

Fuck, I thought I had a lot more time than just ten fucking minutes to get a god damned post out, but that’s what happens when you schedule pretty much consists of Eat, sleep, work, repeat, and trying to find time to get something enjoyable done is a fucking nightmare when it takes someone a long ass time to get their asses where it needs to be when it needs to be there, but that’s life, right? when life gives you lemons, you get lemon aid, or Lemo Naid. The worlds lamest spy, just stands there, watching you, like you did something wrong, occasional taking a puff out of a Sherlock Holmes looking ass pipe and just… staring.
but shit… gotta go, lot is happening, wish I had more time…

Let’s talk about our DREAMS!

What if I told you, that I had a Notebook style dream about a woman in love with a Sandman enlisted in the Armed forces and the dream ends with her declaring her love for him, arms wrapped around him tightly as he slowly disappears into the winds?
Your first thought would be, “Annnnnnd now I’m crying.”
Your second thought would be, “Sand between the boobs.”
And your third thought would be, “Wait, if he’s made of sand…. Did… Did they just have sex?”
And good sirs and madams, the answers to those thoughts, theories, and questions you never knew needed asking or answering would be yes.
I cried too.

More ridiculous than that is the FB group known only as “https://www.facebook.com/events/448435052621047/” Or 1.1 million people storm Area 51 to slap some alien cheeks. What the “Clapping” involves leaves little to the imagination, but I assume it involves ramming things into other alien things as revenge for all the constipated red necks claiming it’s them thar aliens done with what all that there probing!
That’s what I’m guessing anyways, people have weird kinks when it comes to sex, and yes, I do talk about penis in vagina, vagina on penis, or where ever you like to stick where ever into wherever because we’re human, sex is a thing, and I’m not about to be virtually brow beaten by some lonely chick I’ll never meet into not talking or writing about the very thing that’s kept our literally fucking species going on.

I’ll talk about whatever god damn it! Including the previously mentioned clapping of alien cheeks and questions about sand storm sex, BECAUSE THAT’S THE KIND OF PERSON I AM! And as erotic as both scenarios sound, there’s the after effects of those scenarios!

For instance, if she takes a shower later on, does losing those particulates hurt the sandman? Or does he just thwip those things back into his form? Will the produced baby not be able to enjoy swimming? Will the other kids start bullying him or her by throwing glasses of water at his or her crotch and start calling them Sandick or sandtits!? Instead of Sandisk.
Because my humor is working multiple levels here!
more importantly:
If after years of enduring torment, will the sand baby morph into a mass shooter like Sand man or Sand woman, using their own body to murder those who tormented him? Not by slowly grinding away at their screaming forms, but just by straight up launching his or her fist at super speeds from the top of their heads down out their ass?
Hey, darkest timeline here.

Or will the kid turn out alright and have to be REALLY careful during puberty?
These questions about human/Desert hybrid physiology are fucking important!
Continue laughing.
Seriously, it’s humor.

But the dream was pretty sad, but satisfying, it hit all the right notes, and would’ve made for a god damned awesome movie, the questions asked, the motives behind the actions taken, the morally ambiguous sex scenes which mainly involve her, him, or the Apache helicopter rolling around in a pile of sand, while Beach boys blasts in the background?
Tear jerking… In ways.

I wish to god I was in a relationship. To love, be loved, share moments of hot steamy passion and dumb debates over whether to get the regular spicy sushi or the super spicy sushi, the quiet moments in between the sporadic conversations where we’re both in our own little worlds, only to be snapped back to the present by a brush of the hand?
The point of this post is that time is fleeting, life is fleeting, memory of the truly important moments is what keeps us going, pressing for something more, something better than what we had previously, and to always push forward, even when the task in front of us seems daunting, confusing, or down right pants shittingly terrifying.

Let’s talk about women in the lead for the moment and the disconnect I feel… Not a bad thing mind you, just… a bit left field, and this has NOTHING to do with sex… That I can tell.
Okay, take your average action movie, you know the thing:
1. Bad ass male lead.
2. Damsel in distress.
3. Asshole trying to do a bad thing.
4. Comic relief that’s more or less ignored until a crucial part of the movie.
5. Guy get’s the girl, which one, meh, don’t care.

Now, reverse the PHYSICAL and MENTAL genders involved. I get that Trans is a thing, but we’re not talking about that right now.
How much more likely are you to see that movie? how less likely?
Interesting in either case.

Moving forward:
Let’s talk about the E-girl that was deleted from life by her creepy ass boyfriend.
Let’s talk about the fact that this asshole slit her throat then posted pictures of it on Instagram, where it took a total of 72 hours for the site itself to take the account AND the photo down?

What the fuck?
First, Le Unpacking of the many levels of bullshit.

I’m no fan of E-girls.
Let me repeat that, very clearly:
If you are an E-girl, or claim to be an E-girl: You have zero self confidence in yourself in face to face situations to the point where you have to exploit yourself to get attention.
You may say that you have self confidence, but really, all your actually doing to running with the grain on the stereotype that E-girls are just a low grade version of Cam-girls, and fuck them too, because of the same reasons.

That being said, when I was 14, I have had friends that were E-girls that have tried to push their BS on me, and I was like, “Why be my E-girlfriend when I’m right in front of you?” Then they looked at me dumb, like I just farted in their pudding or something.

If you are a man or woman 18 or over in a relationship with someone 18 or younger: Fuck you, you creepy mother fucker.
The moment I turned 18 was the moment my then girlfriend broke up with me for the logical reason of, “Well, you’re an adult, and I’m still 16, so goodbyes!” and I was totally fine with it.
Sad, but totally fine with it,BECAUSE i KNOW THE LAW YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.
The dude was 21, in a relationship with a 17 year old e-girl, and when they met up, he straight up murdered her and posted a picture of her corpse on Instagram.
What the flying utter fuck is up with people?
We up to some crazy fucking bullshit now a days, and we’re at the point where Mass Murder, Children living in cages, kids being shot, White supremacy being our Presidents go to move, and YouTubers being absolute shit to their kids are normal.
Now, we’re at the point where teen girls are being killed by their creepy ass 21 year old boyfriends.
Like, god damned, the cycle of crazy never fucking surprises me, but god fucking damn it! This is why y’all should be careful.
This is why parents always have more than one girl, because they KNOW there’s a chance of one of the darling little angels doing something incredibly stupid and ends up getting killed.
This is why boys are a slightly safer bet. Kind of, boys are pretty fucked up as well.

Now, for a latte cleanser. I present: A fucking potato.

Image result for fucking potato

So, yeah, last night had this dream…

Well, I’m annoyed. Maybe.

There’s something to be said about being annoyed.
Maybe it’s the fact I personally have no fucks to give?
Or maybe it’s because there are so many shit titles to great articles that everything’s either “OMG SO INSANE!” Or, “Donald Trump’s NOT going to like this!”
who give’s a fucking shit about that kind of thing, not to mention I got a auto generated spam email from a ‘Hacker’ AND… it’s STUPID, MILDLY INCONVENIENT, and I keep losing track of when I have the caps lock on… Kind weird how that whole thing plays out. But, rather then get into a whole idiotic rant about how the whole of the idiotic world can go fuck itself with ten cactus patches, I’m going to tell the world at large to go fuck off with this inane idiotic bullshit that simply pops up.

Okay, guess I know what I’m focused on today, this should be fun. I’m not that worried about things that annoy me as much anymore. After going through what I’ve been through, not much bothers me anymore. Do I sometimes get confused? Yes. Do I forget shit all the time?
Of course.
Do I give idiots the time of time simply because they’re idiots?
Not all the time, but everyone needs to feel special at one point.

Point being, cycle of stupid repeating itself, over and over, minor changes, blah fucking blah.
Or maybe I’m just irate over something that’s out of my control, and my writing this out is the only way I feel like I have some as-semblance of control?

I honestly don’t know. It’s almost like I forgotten how to be myself since meeting so many people, and maybe it’s a bit confusing because I haven’t had the opportunity to figure myself out yet?
I mean, I have, to a point, though not to the point where I can simply be myself. Well, I can be myself to a point, I’m kind of a people pleaser, but I need to step up the protesting bit…. I like pop-tarts, they’re pretty cool. Sometimes I’ll just snack on them, two at a time!

Fuck you forever, @realDonaldTrump

So… We’re doing this… Again.
I feel so… so happy.
Really.
I mean, let’s get the big thing out of the way, the Woodward and Mueller reports… Like, holy shit dude, first, y’didn’t want the job, then you fucked us over by taking hte job y’didn’t want, and than you fucked yourself by doing a terrible fucking job of the job you never wanted, and NOW you’ve fucked your whole family name by staining it so badly, even thatl ittle fucker from the Grudge ain’t touching your shit.
Can we please talk about the more obvious:
Your ass.
Deathrow.
2020 unrelelection.
Like, you do realize you’ve fucked yourself SO hard by not releasing your taxes right?
RIGHT!?
Not in the, “Well, there’s a dead hooker.” Fucked over, but the, “Well, there’s a dead hooker, the cops just burst in, and I’m still fucking the corpse.” kind of plain ol fucked.
You are beyond ever measure of doubt, a guilty as fuck person, BANNED from campaigning in 33 states because you won’t release your taxes.
Think hard on that, there are ONLY 51 states in the union, and you’ve fucked yourself SO hard, you don’t even stand a chance of winning 33 states without outside help, so… I hope russia is looking at this and going, “We need more potato power!” because unless putin sticks his dick in your ass again, you ain’t winning shit this time around.
And again, let’s bring your supportters into this fray again, because I don’t thinkyou think very much of them, unless their spinning rims and gold plated diamoinds, you think so little of them, really you do. your whole life was spent working from nothing to inheriting your dads money and getting bailed out so many times, it makes me think you’re actively running this country at a permanent loss, because god damned.
I stopped faulting your supporters the moment they realized what the fuck you were doing, and started faulting you directly.
Because, you’re false advertising.
You’re the fine print on a medication no one except the racist ignorant twats asked for.
You’re the exposed, hidden nazi, and we all know this to be true.
I actively empathize with your support base, they knew what they were getting into, and yet, they still stuck a fork in the outlet and were surprised at thep ain they’ve been feeling ever since.
Go ahead and lie to yourself that you’ll be fine, because you really will not be.
the law is like water, patient, still, powerful.
You, are the jackass trying to slap the flood away.
Pointless. Idiotic. Tragic.

I wish I had more anger saved up, more rage, more unkempt disgust at the very fabric of your being, but I don’t. Not after understanding the slug of a person you are.
And nah, I in’t pointing out examples, people want specifics, they can read other things, me? I’m a reactionary guy, splash damage be skull fucked with a cactus.
i’m just angry enough to point out the obvious and just lame enough not giving a fuck to publish this.

It’s been a minute or two, hasn’t it?

So, let’s dial back the weird as fuck shit for a second and talk about what’s going on in my neck of the woods, why?
because obviously, what’s happening with me is INFINITELY MORE ENTERTAINING THAN WHATEVER WEIRD BULLSHIT I KEEP COMING UP WITH.

That was way too many Caps in the sentence, I seriously only meant to have the infinitely in caps and nothing else.
Okay, so I’ve been working the night shift at Amazon again, which is AMAZING, because for the first time, I’m not completely screwing the pooch, my rates up, I’m regularly talking to hot chicks with no intention flirting with them (kay, I lied, maybe a little. Come on, they’re hot chicks!), I made friends with a Little Person, and he is AWESOME, and almost everyday, EVERYDAY, there’s been a shortage of work because of how great both Day and Night shifts been.

But therein lies the problem, Amazon keeps hiring on new people, despite the lack of work… So does this mean we’re looking at another Mass Hire/Fire situation, where after a few months, they’re going to let us go? hopefully not, took me long enough to snag this one again.

The reason I’m asking, is because there was a strange announcement at stand up, part of one of the programs they’ve got set up, to transfer to other locations, and I’m starting to understand why now, but at the same time, I’m not going to worry about it. Or should I?

With the increasingly apparent lack of work coming in, and more early leaving times, maybe we’re doing our jobs too well? Or is it that there’s going to be a new Cross dock location opening up soon, so more work is being sent over there and we’re being left with the overflow? I dunno, but it is a bit worrying to say the least. And I’m just spinning my wheels here on the subject, there could be a whole bunch of things I could be getting wrong here…

Anyways, nuff about that!

What else is happening?
Oh, right!
For about a week or so, my brain’s been stuck on the idea that fish are naked.
And they are.
But, my best bud Blake pointed out they aren’t.
Know why?

They’re dressed to the gills!

I know, completely stupid, but it’s the best connection i’ve made, but really. Fish are naked.
also preordered MK 11, I’m not great at fighting games, but I’ve been wanting to play Mortal Kombat again for some time, and 11 seems like a pretty good jumping point. There are a few characters that are Rushers, Zoners, and just plain Combo machines, so it’ll be cool to fuck around in practice mode to try and knock something out. 
I still haven’t finished Skyrim, I think I’m nearing the end of the main story, which is great, since in each Bethesda free roam game, I manage to kill off nearly all the not needed NPCs in the first go around, find the exploits, become suped up, and go on a in game murder spree the likes THAT instance of the game universe has never seen.
Smash Brothers still has my attention, mainly for the multiplayer aspect.
Splatoon 2 simply got boring.
Brawlhala has its moments.
I don’t bother with Onigiri anymore. Soon as it got to the “O NOEZ ANIME GIRL IN TROUBLE!” Trope, I stopped playing. I dunno know I’ve got trouble getting passed the whole “Strong Female Protagonist” thing, I personally think it’s great. Maybe it’s just a displacement of the previously natural story telling gender roles? where the male was the strong one, the female was the smart one, and the villains were just dumb asses with too much time on their hands and not enough porn?
Shit, I think that’s what Evil’s problem is just in general.
They can’t get laid, i mean, sex solves all the worlds problems, if just temporarily.
But, I’ve noticed the change myself in my own editing of Sogno Della Dinastia, with Divertenti Della Amuleto focusing on the female main character, I kind of have to make that shit work out, and so far, it’s doing a pretty good job of it.

speaking of writing, and snapping back to work, whenever there’s been a lag of work and I’ve had some time, a pen, and some scrap of paper laying around, I’ve drawn a quick picture, and started scribbling notes on it like a madman. Story plotting is kind of relaxing, breaking away from just standing there, feels like I’m recharging my batteries or something of the like.
So far, I’ve knocked of two of the little darlings:
”Azmael and the Chest of the Forever Coaled”
”Felix Hogbuny goes on Vacay”

Fun little exorcises.
Lets see, what else?

Oh, right, mah carpool buds, Paul, Joseph, and John.
Paul I’ve known for a while since Peak ‘18, great guy, passionate about work, we connect amazingly. Paul’s also a Gamer, which is awesome, since I like gaming too, and we sometimes talking about gaming. Yes, that was a dumb sentence. No, I’m not erasing it. Yes, you’re stuck with it. He’s got an amazing family, and really, that’s all I’m saying on that front.
Joseph? Also a great guy, has a faster sense of humor, good taste in music, likes to ask me random questions, and overall, he’s got a lot going for him! He too, Kicks the ass at work. That was worded weirdly. Joseph is… hard to explain exactly. He’s super intelligent, and I think it might be the super coffee wearing off at this point, but, yep, super intelligent. We all work well together, yeah, definitely the coffee wearing off.
John? Super chill guy, doesn’t say much, but doesn’t really need to when at work or when it’s just us carpooling. When the Turtles are carpooling? different story all together, the dude quips amazingly. We get along amazingly, and i’m going to have to write more about the other two just to give them all equal page time…
I call us the Turtles because we each encompass a different personality type.
Paul’s definitely Leonardo.
Joseph’s Donatello.
John’s Raph, he’s got a little bit of fire in him.
And I’m Michelangelo. Why? Mikey’s been my favorite. Also, I’m writing the post, so I’m Mikey.

Whatelse? Nothing of note, just been doing my own thing… Yes, I’m cutting this short.
Why?
The super coffee is wearing off, and I’m kind of getting bored of writing the post, plus, I’m hungry. Oh, so fucking hungry for breakfast. Not to mention, the more I write, the more I’ll have to edit. Peace!
Like and subscribe.

I seek the strange man.

You know that feeling in the back of your head when you’re onto something really great?
It’s an itching sensation that you can’t quite get to, and it never leaves you alone for long.
It’s a momentary lightning strike that leaves no trace, and like the momentary flash of brilliance, once distracted from it’s entrancing display, it’s gone, out of sight, replaced by something more ubiquitous than whatever the flying fuck is going on with the world right now.
It’s the feeling of loss, replaced by greater loss, yet still replaced by greater loss, only to be filled immediately by next small victory.
Because you have to count the small victories, you have to make those small things count, or else the whole thing would collapse, leaving you nothing more than a blubbering pile of salted insults upon an already dead horse, by which the beating stick has long since broken, but people still wish to use it on the same horse, even though there’s a perfectly good horse right next to it.
Why do people do this?
Why beat the dead horse with vileness and venom?
Why not try for a different approach that would make the next horse last just a little bit longer?
There’s no shame in revealing something old to a newer generation, but it has to be done right, or else you lose the essential impact the original content had.
Am I being vague?
Of fucking course I am!
not for vagueness sake, not for some melodramatic reveal that simply wastes the effort upon which the base of this post, or review, or whatever the hell this actually is might have.
But simply because I like doing things a certain way, to be less or more descriptive to hide a true intention, or maybe just because I like the feeling of wandering my way around a post until such time that my snappy assed brain decides right then and there to actually be direct. And by THAT point alone, I’ve already lost the original thread, but the post keeps on building, word by word, layer by layer, until there is a pivotal moment, a lightning flash that screams out into the blank void of my keyboard obsessed mind, it should scream, “Now wait just a fucking minute, you pedantic ass faced moron! Looky here! Fish string! now ain’t that a kick in the balls with a cattle prod!” and this might lead to someone questioning the logic prepared by that one statement!
How does one kick someone in the balls, or anywhere really with a cattle prod?
Do they kick the cattle prod into the balls?
Is the cattle prod already placed ball sack adjacent?
Where the fuck is this taking place and has Netflix already signed on for five seasons of build up to this one moment in which nothing is explained and we are left devoid of any joy whatsoever because we canceled our subscription and now season six is tied up on actors being dicks and demanding WAY more money than their ability should ever grant them?

The feeling is mutual, and the build up is grand, and the payoff is fucking tantamount to that of having your last orgasm before you die with a smile on your face and your preferred genital analogy writhing with utmost pleasure.

That’s how I felt watching Love, Death, and Robots.
Like a fucking god.
Now where the fuck is Season Two?

Nazi Beer Pong, R. Kelly Crying, and Erasing Michael Jackson… What the fuck.

So, normally, or rather lately I don’t bother with the stronger stuff, I just don’t, there’s already enough examples of me getting pissed about dumb ass things that really… I shouldn’t get mad at.
Still, the Miss America Pageant can go fuck itself, I have my reasons.
So, what’s the new rager today?
I mean, if you have to ask that, ya’ didn’t read the title of this, did ya?
So let’s tackle the biggest fucker here, shall we?
Nazi beer pong. Teens who recently learned about the Holocaust, and saw the angry Austrian dude flinging hands around, who blamed Germany’s defeat on the Jewish annnnd subsequently decided, “AWRIGHT, LETS PARTAY!” first off, fuck em. fuck those idiots for thinking this was such a GREAT FUCKING IDEA in the first place,
Yes, I get it, they’re sorry, but y’know what? That’s the beauty of getting older, you start to give less of a fuck about the fact they’re sorry AFTER THE FACT and more pissed about the fact they did this shit in the first place.
Not to mention, y’know, the great sentient cheesy poof with a habit of flicking the word Fake News everywhere failed to condemn Nazis, and said there were great people on both sides… Yeah, I’m guessing that had a shit ton to do with why they thought this was a great theme for a party, which, HA, underage drinking and the usual dumbassery of thinking they’d get away with this was fucking brilliant.
Also, kudos to the dumbass that thought up the brilliant plan of flooding the principal with emails so he wouldn’t be able to expel them from school. yeah, no. If I were the principal of that place, I’d have thrown a fucking rally, invite the little bastards to the center of the auditorium, give a big ol speech, and hand them the expulsion papers, and yeah, while that’d be quick to solve the riddle of “Hurdur, can’t expel us if we’re gunna flood his emails!” and quick to piss a few parents off, I’d kindly remind the little shits that our school has no room, absolutely none whatsoever for that kind of bullshit.
And yes, the parents would have their opinions about “WE PAID SO MUCH MONEY SO OUR DARLING LITTLE ANGEL COULD HAVE THE BEST EDUCATION!”
I would have mine, “We sent good young men to their graves by the thousands to kill the Nazi sumbitch that was killing over 6 million Jewish practitioners, and the last thing we need is another rise of the Nazi, get your kid the fuck off my campus.”
My initial gut reaction over with… Let’s dial it back a little.

First, don’t get me wrong, I read the CNN article, and I’m happy that the Nazi Beer Pongers got a taste of reality, by way of Eva Schloss telling them about the horrors of the Holocaust, about how she and her Step sister, Anne Frank, hid from the Nazis in an apartment block, and survived the concentration camps while, unfortunately, Anne Frank passed away before her sixteenth birthday.
It’s refreshing to know that with the proper guidance and educational tools, as well as a little first person recounting of such horrifying events, the youth of today can become a better generation.
Seriously, Fuck Nazis.
I wanted to get that out of the way before heading into the second part.

R. Kelly crying… Just, okay, I don’t even know where to begin, so i’m going to start at the heaviest thing here:
The man’s accused of having relations with underage girls, imprisoning women in his house, being a controlling asshole, and… yeah, let’s zipline back to that first one, since, the other two pale in comparison:
R. Kelly is being accused of being a sexual predator.
Just… what the actual fuck. And when Gayle King interviewed him, and I love this part, because it shows that for a split second he premeditated and planned this shit out:
Robert asked if a particular camera was on him, and when it was confirmed, the dude purposefully flipped out, addressing the camera directly, screaming, punching his fist, flipping out, basically the god damned water works.

And I wasn’t focusing so much on the man baby being a dramatic asshole, I was much more focused on Gayle herself, she sat there, with poise, calmly trying to figure out a way to get everything under control, and she did just that.
He just continued pouring on the gas to the fire and went all out, and while I’m tempted to feel sorry for the guy, I can’t, I just can’t.
IF, for some reason, this was blackmail, or someone had kidnapped someone close to him, and he was freaking out about this, because they wanted something of his, but he’s like, “Nah motherfucker, my shit’s mine.” THEN and only then would I feel sorry for the guy. And if he’s proven innocent in the end of all of this, I will walk back my comments, but if he’s guilty of pedophilia, then all my fucks have simply run out and he deserves everything coming to him.
It’s sad to know that being a Celebrity comes with the known risk of someone destroying your life because of a fuck up, and yes, I am aware that nothing’s been proven yet, but Robert’s going to have to register as a sex offender, serve time in which he’ll get his ass handed to him many times over, his music’s getting pulled off the play lists the world over, and basically, his life’s work is over with.
Hopefully, the latter’s not the case, but if it is, fuck him. Never listened to his music that much anyways. And there will always be a dedicated fan base, no matter what. People, fans, that will listen to his music no matter what the hell is going on.

Which brings us to the final third of this: Because of a documentary aired on HBO, “Leaving Neverland”, basically the poison pill that kills the majority of love for the King of Pop, Michael Jackson is effectively and posthumously being erased from culture, why?
As stated above, there will always be die hard fans who’ve got eternal love for Michael Jackson, no matter what, but it will become more and more difficult to publicly show that appreciation for his musical genius, especially when there are parties out there, ever ready to continue their assault on his musical majesty.
The documentary has interviews from people claiming Michael molested them when they were kids, and I’m not going to lie when I ask the question, where the fuck were these assholes while he was alive?
Why did they only feel safe to come out of the woodwork ten years after he passed away, though there are people out there that say his doctor murdered him. And verdicts as well. Nother topic for another day, if I remember that.
What disturbs me the most is, that in this weird era we seem to be in, Which, hey, if it does the great deed of removing creepy fucks from positions of power, I’m all for it. But, if the movement assails the memory of the person after they’ve passed away, that’s just wrong.
Regardless of what the proof and verdict is, I will always enjoy michaels music, regardless of what the majority of die hard Celeb Status killers want to say.
Prove them guilty while they’re alive, while it has the most impact, don’t wait till their bodies have been cold in the ground for a decade to turn the cherished memory of the person into a pile of shit smelling ash.

So, in closing:
Nazi’s can go fuck themselves.
Robert Kelly needs to man the fuck up and stop pitching bitch fits at the camera.
Stop trying to kill the memory of his Musical Majesty, Michael Jackson, long may he moon walk over the haters.

Just needed to get this out of the way…

Working at Amazon is a bit… interesting.

Yes, I’m gonna bitch a little about Amazon, just some much needed stress relieving, that’s all. I still love you BABEH! Anyways, one fucking thing that bugs the utter shit out of me is the popping of bubble wrap. There’s piffing, and then there’s people that squeeze the fucking shit out of that stuff like there’s both crack and money inside of it.
And, I get it, I really do! Trust me, Popping bubble wrap is fucking amazing, almost like having an orgasm and it’s literally a fucking release of air. But then again, you have the asshats that stare at you WHILE they’re popping the stuff, like, really dude?
Are you trying to tell me something? Am I going to be sleeping with the fishes? Am I part of a bubble wrap based civil war and you know what’s really going on? Did the PA’s tell everyone to just stare me, right in the fucking eyes while you slowly squeezed the shit out of the poor thing, only relenting after that oh so satisfying POP? I mean really, if you want to give me a hug, go for it, just…. just don’t treat me like you do the bubble wrap every chance you get, because… well, there’s another way of ending the bubble wraps pathetic existence.
Stabbing it with the box cutter, and the piff noise is so much more depressing. Because it almost sounds like something screaming their last, and I’m thinking to myself, “OH GOD YES!” because when the bubble wrap wars start between the Poppers and the Piffers? box cutters will be the unfortunate victims of their own hubris!
And I’ve forgotten what theu tter fuck I was talking about, sorry, random booger or something, I dunno.
Working at Amazon is easy enough.
The works easy.
Pay’s amazing.
So what’s the biggy?
i’ll tell you.
The fucking Rate system they have in place, and it’s fucking ridiculous.
Okay, when I first started working there, the rate was around 319 items, and that’s reasonable, right? Because we’re there for about 8 hours normal and 10 hours if there’s MET, and 12 hours if we vote for the 4/10, which I guess is cool, but it all averages out, I’ll have to check the latest numbers, but you get the idea, right?
Anywho, so there’s a group rate and an individual rate, not saying fuck it, ers has the individual rate, and vegantarians have the group rate, and we have to hit those numbers on the daily, between 65% and 100% is the magic number, and those dailies average out the weekly, but the way the numbers are crunched is based around three different theories, but they all mean the same thing:
1. Size of the box scanned
2. Recieving V Sorting
3. Number of scans total

So using those three things, they knock out the number, and it’s not an issue. The issue is that what we receive is usually a mix throughout the day, and I’ve begun noticing a pattern, in the beginning is mostly receive, towards the middle is a 50/50, and towards the end is mostly sort.
Not to mention there’s a thing called cherry picking, which is when people only take the boxes that are good and large numbers, which fuck the rest of us over. Because from what I’ve heard, the higher ups both condemn and silently promote cherry picking at the same time depending on how it’s affecting the bottom line. Not to mention it fucks the rest of us over.
There’s an easy way to fix this, and I’ve mentioned it to the higher ups, make a group rate based on the overall Sort/Receive of an entire line, therefor eliminating the Cherry Picking situation all together, because no matter the box picked, it all goes towards the Line Rate, and everyone gets to do their thing.
There are also those that like to scan something, then talk for minutes on end, then scan something again just to keep that TOT timer from screwing them over. Whihc, hey, more power to them, but at the same time, not only does that screw their rate over, it fucking slows down the amount of work getting done. we’re there to work, not chit chat about shit that doesn’t matter. If it affects how much work you’re getting done throughout the day in a negative fashion, fucking don’t do that shit. No place for it.
because when they don’t do THEIR work, we end up having to carry their asses. And the FC’s only a year old, so the higher ups are still trying to optimize the best ways to make everything work together. Another thing that feeds into the cherry picking is the individuals strength. Because you got the following ages groups:
18 to 29 – these guys and gals kick ass all over the place, but there IS a habit of spending more time talking than working.
30 – 49 – my age bracket (I’m 34), we tend to be a bit more focused on our work, not talk so much, and knock out the majority of the things the 18 – 29 miss.
49 – 69 – they tend to talk and cherry pick because their strength ain’t what it used to be. In a way, it does make sense, but it’s still doing a thing that goes against the grain.

Anyways, I’m starting to spin my wheel just a bit, so I’ll end it on a positive note, the higher ups are always taking feedback, ideas, and other things to their higher ups, and in turn trying to figure out the best way to make those things happen.

Worker placement is also a thing, but meh, not interested in writing this anymore. Anyways, just wanted to knock something out, have a good one!

%d bloggers like this: