OH MY FUCKING GOD

I was thinking about the grand scope of the universe and why it was the squirrels get the best stick in life, like an ACTUAL fucking stick, I mean, if it were an actual FUCKING STICK that’d be questionable, because then you’d see sweet old ladies screaming for their lives with bags of broken crackers, all the while a fuck ton of squirrels with oddly bloody twigs would be chasing her, and you KNOW shit’s about to go down when you see that kind of bullshit happen.

I once saw an octopus. No reason really, it was just there, and I was having the time of my life just looking at this fucking thing, and I was like, “Hey, octopus.” And the thing did say a word, because it has an ass mouth. That’s right, you heard, Octopi have ass mouths, they can be masters of talking shit, because of their ass mouths, and there’s nothing you or I can really do about it.

There’s such a thing as redundant torture, where you do something utterly inane to someone else over a large or short period of time, and they’ll finally be all, “Hey, what the fuck.” All calm like, but you know deep down they’re sad.
Or… something, I don’t fucking know.

Maybe we’re all just in a simulation and the robots are the real players here, because that’d be absolutely amazing, if ready player one wasn’t about the time space-continuum because a vacation inditing the mass roach riot of 20:14 military time, because I like fucking with people’s perception of things every now and then. It’s just a thing I do, you know how I know? Because you aren’t me, and even if you were, I’d still be the one writing this fucking thing, so you can’t stop me no matter who you are!
Yes, I ripped that from Ace venture, which is honestly my favorite movie of all time.

I don’t wonder why time traveling eggs don’t time travel, they’d be too chicken by the end of it. Ha.

Dumb jokes for smart people include:
1. My dating life.
My hair line.
The fact I more famous than a regular potato.
Every knows a regular potota. Or potato.
Fuck pototas. They’ve done nothing for humanity.

Those assholes.
This blog was brought to you by the overwhelming need to fuck around on the interenet and write some weird bullshit that’ll make you question if I’m high or not.
I am 6″5 or six foot five inches. Why does my jaw feel like a peice of toast ready to pop the fuck out of a toaster? Oh yeah, gravity. I keep forgetting that’s a thing.
Kinda like Brangolina. Or Bracheal.
Or Bennigan’s.

Let’s talk about what guys want.

Okay, we got this.
“What women want” was an interesting premise, a peek into the female mindset through the lens of a guy… But, in truth, was it accurate in displaying what y’all ACTUALLY wanted, or was it just another dick stab in the dark?
right around the corner is the movie which asks the question, “What if the roles were reversed?”
Now, don’t get me wrong, the AGE OF WOMEN is incredible and has lead to a LOT of awesome and hilarious things popping up, (I still don’t get the draw of cat fight videos on facebook though.)
What men want, at our base is three very crucial things, to kill, to mate, and reproduce. At our base, that’s what drives us.
Now, before you get all “OMG, GUYS WANT TO KILL EVERYTHING!” To be fair, humans in general are just fucking vicious as all fuck, it’s just to the point where we don’t really notice it anymore.
What I mean, well, add protect to that list as well, is that while, YES killing is definitely there, it’s more in the metaphorical and in the need to survive. And in some ways, the most pettiest of ways.
Let’s be honest here?
300?
Spray on abs?
What the fuck.
Anyways, I’m skeptical as hell about this movie, I’ll still give it a chance, no doubt there, but at its core, will it live up to the hype?
Is it the perfect movie in the age of the #MeToo movement? OF course it is, as it’ll prove to the more intense girls and women out there that boys and men aren’t just sex driven meat machines where the only intelligent part is our dicks.
yikes, that just sounded a bit bitter, doesn’t it?
Oh well.
My point is that my lizard brain see the premise of this movie and doesn’t like it. it wants the reviews, the ratings, and the comments to be as horrific as humanly and inhumanely possible. that’s more or less my fear and natural paranoia setting in. HOWEVER on the flip side:
This could be a pretty good movie…. I don’t know why, but movies have the ability to change societies, or at least parts of society. And since all of society is one, big, psychological clockwork, those affected parts, will in time, affect the rest.

Seriously though, humans are vicious as fuck. Your sisters comment on that last dinner picture you uploaded? Holy fuck, hidden venom.

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