OH MY FUCKING GOD

I was thinking about the grand scope of the universe and why it was the squirrels get the best stick in life, like an ACTUAL fucking stick, I mean, if it were an actual FUCKING STICK that’d be questionable, because then you’d see sweet old ladies screaming for their lives with bags of broken crackers, all the while a fuck ton of squirrels with oddly bloody twigs would be chasing her, and you KNOW shit’s about to go down when you see that kind of bullshit happen.

I once saw an octopus. No reason really, it was just there, and I was having the time of my life just looking at this fucking thing, and I was like, “Hey, octopus.” And the thing did say a word, because it has an ass mouth. That’s right, you heard, Octopi have ass mouths, they can be masters of talking shit, because of their ass mouths, and there’s nothing you or I can really do about it.

There’s such a thing as redundant torture, where you do something utterly inane to someone else over a large or short period of time, and they’ll finally be all, “Hey, what the fuck.” All calm like, but you know deep down they’re sad.
Or… something, I don’t fucking know.

Maybe we’re all just in a simulation and the robots are the real players here, because that’d be absolutely amazing, if ready player one wasn’t about the time space-continuum because a vacation inditing the mass roach riot of 20:14 military time, because I like fucking with people’s perception of things every now and then. It’s just a thing I do, you know how I know? Because you aren’t me, and even if you were, I’d still be the one writing this fucking thing, so you can’t stop me no matter who you are!
Yes, I ripped that from Ace venture, which is honestly my favorite movie of all time.

I don’t wonder why time traveling eggs don’t time travel, they’d be too chicken by the end of it. Ha.

Dumb jokes for smart people include:
1. My dating life.
My hair line.
The fact I more famous than a regular potato.
Every knows a regular potota. Or potato.
Fuck pototas. They’ve done nothing for humanity.

Those assholes.
This blog was brought to you by the overwhelming need to fuck around on the interenet and write some weird bullshit that’ll make you question if I’m high or not.
I am 6″5 or six foot five inches. Why does my jaw feel like a peice of toast ready to pop the fuck out of a toaster? Oh yeah, gravity. I keep forgetting that’s a thing.
Kinda like Brangolina. Or Bracheal.
Or Bennigan’s.

Masturbation is healthy.

Well, with a title like that, you’re sure to be wondering about all the amazing smart sounding bullshit about to flow from the intelligent and sophisticated parts of my head, right?
Right!?
No.
This is called Mindcicles.
Not Mindlopedia.
Y’want smart shit, go somewhere else.
You came here for my dumb ass and whatever insanity flows from my weird ass toes.
As the title states, Masturbation is a healthy thing, both male and female species do it.
How the fuck do birds masturbate!?
WHY IS THIS A QUESTION I’M ASKING!?
It is a release of built up fluids in the body, and also pretty fucking fun!
But more importantly, it’s a reset button, it’s a way for the body to just chill the fuck out and sometimes, it’s a very much needed thing.
Is there such a thing as too much masturbation?
Is there a comparison between such words and either a wet piece of beef jerky or block of Swiss cheese?
Yes.
And that answers that question.
But, it is healthy, and sometimes, other people can help you masturbate.
Hopefully, they don’t have you cornered.
Unless you want them to corner you.
You fucking freak.
It also helps you get to sleep faster, and gets you more focused. Why?
Because you don’t have that urge that punching you in the fun zone going, “Oi, mate! get yer’ fahcking hands down ‘ere and play wi’ meh!
Just remember, there’s a time and place for everything.
that time and place will always be when your alone and need to get the job done right.
Like using a monster truck as a golf cart.

Oh to thine own soul, I doth speak to thee

I speak a summer’s breeze of creativity, heavy and rife with intellect and naive of the mind’s own maze of batshit craycray.

Preface:
Caffeine was involved.
Copious amounts of caffeine.
No fucks or apologies issued, you knew wtf was going to happen.

Let’s get something straight here, I fucking swear in my posts!
“BUT WHY!?”
And I say to you this, my child:
Because, the human language has over a trillion words in various dialects, each with their own unique needs and wants and kinks, and sometimes, the word ‘Is’ likes to do the butt stuff. Hard butt stuff with mimes dressed as T-rex’s, each armed with fifty dildos and a crosed of broken glass, which MUST BE INSTRUMENTALLY INSERTED INTO THEIR NIPPLES LIKE A CROSS DRESSING FUCK KING!
So, yeah, I swear.
Right now?
right now I’m about to lay some knowledge into your faces heads, and in your mind anus, some infojizz will bloom the might horny person into the wellspring net of yahaolmyspace.com!
So… if you were expecting an intelligent and thoughtful, proviking stance on why longboats needed to be shipped into the email addresses of local midget villages, than you’ve… made a wrong turn somewhere, because here? Here is the MOTHERFUCKING MINDCICLES! Where the contrast between intelligent and ALLMIGHTYWHATTHEFUCK happens just as quickly as a dick stabbing squirrel dressed as a honey bee setting fire to the orphanages of all of Christmas Day!
Plus, straight coffee fucks with my head in magical ways. And yes! Yes my friends, my followers, there will be days where madness spits in your face nipples and your eye feet will run, SCREAMING INTO THE MIDNIGHT FORESTS OF THE DEAD SOUL DEER, AND NOTHING SHALL RETURN!
Except, a higher knowing of what you just read might become the stuff of legend. I say unto thee, I speak for the worms and the wood, and the wood winds, and the woods that break wind, fart and from that fart, know that you shall launch the moon monday penis into the sky clouds and hamper the laundry of the infinite sadness!
Wait, the fuck?
I don’t care about making sense, I just need to write something, anything, something that makes me feel like you follow me so that at one point or another, this Bob ross of a painting of words will somehow inspire your to greater heights. Maybe, somehow, somewhere, the minds that crafted the intranet, the internet, may one day VENTURE TO THE OUTERNET! and holy fuck I’m looking up the OUTERNET as soon as IO finish writing this! Like, fuck me, that’s an awesome idea, the inter, the intra, the outer, the through, the around, and the undernet…. MY GOD, MOTHER OF FUCK LORD’S GOD, WHAT HAVE I INSPIRED!? Nothing? Everything? Possibly something that may make the thought raptor of Seclusiondick 5 turn vegan ONCE MORE AND SOLVE THE DINO-CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS!? Well, that’d be a fucking amazing mashup, wouldn’t it? I mean, to literally be there while a SUPERSTEGO shoots dick beams of ice and fury…. that…. truly would be a FROST JOB!
I’m not going to be serious in the post, I don’t wanna be, there’s no need to be serious in a blog post all the time! Sometimes, you just need to say fuck it with the sanity, and go with the mental flow! After all, if there isn’t a blog post out there that speaks to the psychological inner workings of the mind through abstract constructs, then you’re just wasting the time of both the reader and the writer, for every step we take is another that someone else may one day too take. Maybe you two end up in a foot race of thoughts and ideas, each step taken inspires you further along the road of life, and your souls become synched, tuned, like fine instruments to be played at such a level only those with the finest hearing can truly see where it leads!
And I KNOW for a fact that some people follow me because of the sometimes insane ramblings I post, and others for the intelligent aspect. Or maybe you read because I’m just an interesting guy, I’ll never know, really. I just want to entertain you, like the MIND SLUG SQUIRRELS OF SCOUT TROOP 555- Kidding. Just think of every non sequitur as an idea for a short story, something bottled up and shaken around for a little bit, and finally let loose. I’ve been wanting to get back into writing short stories for a while, get my thoughts out to the world, you know?

MY work schedule just kind of drains me of that, day by day, hour by hour, scan after scan. IT just seems like I’m losing a bit of who I am, and like my man Paul always tells me, “HEY! KNOCK THAT DEPRESSING SHIT OFF!” I just wanted to keep myself pumped, at the same time, I’m just a little bit freaked out by the progress in my life. For the first time in a while, a LONG while, I’m finally at a job where I’m just knocking shit out left and right, where I’m surrounded by thinkers, doers, gamers, and people with a shit ton of experience to draw from.

those who’ve followed my blog for a while, know that I’ve been around the net for a while, that my posts are unfocused, a kind of stream of consciousness kind of dealio, but it’s all good. It just takes a while for me to get to the meat of the issue, and if you’ve read this far, welcome to the format, a thick layer of insane ramblings, and underneath the prospect of learning something deeper about me. Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t build a squirrel launching catapult.
Maybe, I shouldn’t dress the quirrels up in little Evil Kneivel costumes.
Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t aim said catapult in the direction of metro PCS. but this world of ours is full of surprises! and no matter what, we can all agree, that Trump is a fucking moron who’s going to kick off world war 3 by tweet alone.
Because fuck him, that glow in the dark son of a bitch! That fuck nutted shit for brains, used cheeto bag fucking, mushroom dicked, tiny handed, treasonous fuck munch of a human being! That rejected Garbage Pale Kid, that shit for brains ass face, that fucking moron, that diaper fucking ass for face! And yeah, I’m kind going all in, because like I said in the beginning of htis fucking thing, I swear in my blogs, and there are MANY MANY MANY layers to this thing, and sometimes, just sometimes, you don’t need to make sense, or focus on ap articular thing, or just fucking fuck shit up on a literary sense.
Sometimes, you just need to go all in, and as long as the thoughts are pretty much fucking unorganized little traumatized SPIDERS FROM A DEAD CLOWNS BROOM CLOSET, THE WORLD WILL SEEK THE UNDERKING OF THE NONTERNET, SLOOPY MCFARTNUTSACK! The stretchiest of Fartsacks the world has never cared to here.
Fart Sacks. The nuts of the human ass. The biological equiviliant of bending space and time so that the WORLD CAN’T UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL SCREECH CRIES OF THE TERABYTE BASED FLOCKAWAVES! They shall know only SORROW! Like the creeping insect voids of Therserererer Five nine eight! Wellp, whatever sanity this particular post had, has left the building, I mean, it WAS there for a while, and then shit just went left field, right field, pitchers mound, and ran the fucking bases.
Home fucking run.
Wait, I wonder if its possible to fuck and run and the same time?
I mean, seriously, the act is possible, on some level, by the sprints of each act will REQUIRE THE BEES OF A THOUSAND HIVES AND SEVERAL JARS OF JEFF PEANUT BUTTER!
Jeff, because while Mothers like jiff, Jeff has a bitching sports car, also the latest AC/DC Compact disk. Jeff Peanut butter, tastes like blood, motor oil, and getting chicks man!
God damn it Jeff.
Um, what was I going on about? The bee population is shrinking and no one really understands why, maybe Antisex groups are mkaing tiny bee condoms? Like, how does that shit even work? OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO SEARCH UP BEE DICKS. Also, fun fact, the size of Narwhal Penis is determined by the size of their Horn. Ladies, lmao. So the larger the horn, the bigger of the balls, and thaaaaat’s…. fucking disturbing the shit out of me. Not for the normal reasons, but because now?
Now I’m imagining regular bees, with regular narwhal hors, and giant ass testicles. So, there’s a bit of Nightmare fuel. How do Narwhals jack off? By slamming their horns into rocks or something? I mean, that make sense if you think about it… And you’re thinking about it.

Well, let’s do this!

I’ve been through a thing or two, because I’ve seen a thing or two, and I’m not sure at what point those things or two can get fucking bored of this joke, also it takes me five or so minutes to get settled in when I’m getting ready to write a post, so I’m thinking, GREAT… another word I’ve misspelled. I always have trouble with spelling certain words correctly, it’s craaaazy.

Want to know what else is crazy? The fact that I’ve not written in this thing for so long. I’ve got some hard truth’s to nub out, but I’m not going to focus on them, because I’ve only 4.5 hours of sleep, and people keep slamming into my room to try and distract me from what I’m doing, which is now a thing I have to deal with.

I’ve been busy with writing, with game making, with a bunch of crap that I’m easily distracted by or I just feel like I needed to switch gears on. Oh, right, about 5 weeks ago I tried to hang myself in the garage, and now my folks are trying to crush the story so that way people don’t get freaked out by that fact.

Anyways, floating around is tweet thread about the whole thing, so if I remember about it, I’ll link it at the bottom of this post. Writing… Well, let’s get to that thing very quickly, lately, I’ve been using a writing engine called twinery 2, a kind of branching writing program that’s fucking simple to use, and you don’t need any prior experience to use it.

I’m using it because I love writing books and I love writing expansive stories that are amazing.

What I don’t love are people trying to tell me how to use the program, because that’s when I try to cram as much stuff in it, they either lose interest in what I do, or I just lose interest in that particular thing for a time. But that’s neither here nor there, again, I’ll put a link in the description below.

Those who’ve been following my blog for years, know that I have a passion for creating things, and my latest endeavor in RPG Maker MV, is a triumph in it’s own right. I LOVE making things, it’s what I’m good at, even if the results are a bit shoddy, I know this because I always put 9,000,000% into whatever I’m working on at the moment, and always try to make it the best thing I can.

This current project I’m working on, “Project 1” is the working title, is no different. It still has the same basic premise as my other works, with Darkness and Light being a married couple who need to be extra fucking kinky in bed. So their idea of foreplay is to send newly created souls on adventures and live vicariously through them, because they aren’t so much as people as they are the physical manifestations of the very concepts of Light and Darkness, and who the fuck are we to think they have genitals. Who knows? Maybe their idea of shitting and pissing is summoning the Old Eldritch gods to consume and kill virgins in the upper northern tip of West Virginia, we’ll never know, because that’s just way too meta-physical, and we’ll never know the truth of WHY THEY CHOOSE TO CARRY PIZZA ON THE SIDE INSTEAD OF FLAT WAYS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE, YOU LOUSY SHITS!

Anyways, I…  I think I channeled my inner John Oliver there, weird. So, this time around, instead of smacking together four random characters and flinging them to the wilds, you’re instead playing as a ghost who takes over the bodies of six characters, in one case, you’ll be switching between creepy twins, no reason, just a gameplay mechanic, and seeing the world through their eyes. The interesting part about this, is you’re told right off the bat “that you’re nothing more than a sex toy to the couple, now go out there and start adventuring you freshly baked fuckboi!” In essence, dear god folks, I put a bit more work into it than that, lol.

So, because I’m so interested in branching paths and separate but connected storytelling, there are three paths to take, Light, Neutral, Darkness, and each has five to six paths, making it 15 to 18 possible adventures, including one where you just wander around a library, and due to some interesting flaws in the editor and my own laziness to go any deeper than I have to, get repeatedly yelled at for climbing on the bookshelf in increasingly more hilarious ways.

Not to mention I might make a fourth path with an actual story behind it,  well, the whole thing will have an overarching story behind it, I just don’t like to pigeonhole myself into specifics or else I’ll just end up getting bored with it trying to find tune the shit out of everything OVER AND OVER AND OVER again,

On top of that, I’ve got two different Discord servers I’m running, which I need to transfer ownership over to myself, so that way I can really get things kicked off. A fresh start so to speak, though I really do have having to delete anything, though I’ve already have a few other things on my plate already.

Hrm… what else? Not much… Anyways, have a good one!

Link to the tweet thread about my suicide attempt:

Link to my Philome.la page:
http://www.philome.la/MorganGavin

I just drank a pot of coffees worth of caffiene in just a few gulps.

So let’s just get right into this fuck shit. I’m not angry, actually, I’m going with stream of consciousness and figuring out why peanuts are peanuts. Are they a Pea? Are they a Nut? Are they the rejected abortion of the people behind Peanut butter cups? Do they not get half sassed Christmas cards in the mail? Are their spiders in my brains? OH GOD! THERE ARE! send IN THE FLAT STANLEY, OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IS THE EQUIVALENT OF CLOWN PENIS! Well…. Aah, that got weird in ah hurry. But maybe I don’t feel like being smart today? No, I don’t feel like being smart right now, because I damn well can’t figure out a smart topic to write about. And OBVIOUSLY, that’s what you guys follow this blog for.

Right? Or is it just the random madness that pops up and goes “HERE THE FUCK I STILL AM! MAY HA HA HA!” Because that’d be awesome! Only the Rat King knows his nose from a mug shot line up of… People with fairly large noses. I guess? I can imagine the line of questions going on there.

Cop: Which one picked your nose!?
Rat King: THE ONE WITH THE MIRROR!
Cop: That’s…. Just the mirror.
Rat King: THEN, I, SIR JULIUS OF FRUIT SQUEEZING, HAVE WRONGLY PICKED MY OWN NOSE!

God, I miss screen writing, I love it so much, but at the same time, I’m trying not to be too focused on whatever the hell I’m thinking about. you know, trying to stay out of my own ass so I can see the SPIDERS IN MY BRAIN HAVE STARTED A DEMOCRACY! OH MY GOD, FAIR TRIALS AND FREE GAMES WITH NO PAY PER PLAY FEATURES FOR ALL! Things are looking up, but at the same time, you’re thinking: WHAT….What the fuck am I reading!?

Or maybe not. Maybe your train of thought has gone else where, or you’re now reading this in Morgan Freeman’s voice. Hello, I’m god. Ha, I just fucked a clown, and the world is my ostrich. Good news everybody, Jim Carey’s a… Twitter based philosophical god of random existential crisis tweets. I guess.

I dunno anymore, I thought it’d just be fun to write like I did in the olden times, back in the good ol days before I became blessed with having quality memes, or even a focused line of serious as fuck blogs about shit that I’ll slowly begin to hate with the VILE FURY OF THE RAT KING, JULIUS OF FRUIT SQUEEZING! That’s… Going to become a thing, I can tell. Maybe I can’t? I can’t tell, the sparkly blue hat I’m wearing prevents me from caring too much about any one thing, and for that, I thank you. No, I really AM wearing a sparkly blue hat. It’s taken me too fucking long to load up the sparkly hat picture, but just know, just know, I AM WEARING A SPARKLY BLUE HAT! Damn it feels good to be wearing a sparkly blue hat. This is my party face!20180220_185206

Holy shit, I am forevermore adding random pictures of myself to express different moods. Like fear:
20180220_185932

rage:20180220_185948

Kawaii:

20180220_190001
Rocking out:
20180220_190004
Complete and utter badassery.
20180220_190021

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