hello again folks, welcome to another edition…of inside edition. where we tell you absolutley every you already know about the celebreities you love…and then promptly do it again. because we CARE… oh crap… that was an acronym for “can alex baldwin really eat?” yes he can. see you already knew that and im on a roll here. who the fuck knew right? right…. beside the lack of self stating evidence that john mccain is nothing more then an attacking bully to obamas cool headed self. and i think this really stands out on a singular point, which charly could try to do at any given time, if he werent so damned drunk.
but more then alec baldwins evil message of kill the pig and spill his blood. then promptly open a fast food resteraunt and make liverworst the liver best in the nation, i think we got our selves and already decided president. there really isnt a need for the debates, or the election process because obamas going to take this thing hands down. why? because john mccain will probably die with in the next ten minutes and there will be no really impressive oppisition. oh sure there the evil dick cheney clone of sarah palin who seems to be the darth vader to john mccains emporer palpitine. oh screw off star wars fan boys. go shoot lightning out your asses and blame stan lee for fucking up indiana jones. fucking crstal skulls.
in other news, i now have a girlfriend, thank you for stating the obvios you horny old bastard. no… i really am 24… which is really freaking wierd considering the fact the john mccains 20000000000000000….. oh fuck it, he was alive before the big bang… he mightve caused the big bang when he crapped himself. most scientists would agree. sorry for ripping on the opsition here, but some odd unknown reason, ripping on mccain and palin is like watching the jackson family reunion where micheal hangs his kid out a window and janet shows off her tit while her “mysterios illness” takes the world by storm. oooo… i wonder what it could be? not enough attention from justin timberlake, or maybe it was the fact that we have not heard a single word from the other members of the family in so long, that they might be dead already. i think there dead. could they be? i dont know, ask oj…hes probably stealing things and killing people off left and right, then writing books about how he would have done it while amy whinehouse beats the hell out of him, for not giving her crack rocks….
meanwhile, in the debates, obamas like the proverbial joseph and the amazing technicolor dream coat. basicly he walks on stage, crap flies out, and people beleive him for some strange reason… oh yeah i know why… the us doesnt want another republican in the white house. were fucking sick to death of idiots in the spotlight, doing shit there asses dont know anything about. yeah you heard me. fuck you mr. bush. damn you for reading my blogs for advice. DAMN YOU!!!!!!! go join charly sheen in getting drunk, screwing up the national budget, and then fuck each other while doing crack during the 1970s. ha!!!!!!! and double ha!!!!!
meanwhile other celberities are just getting powder blue priuses just for the thrill of giving birth in the back of something other then a 42 mustang convertible with all leather interior, satilite weapons capabilities, and james bond esque sex. i mention james bond esque sex because its exciting in the beginning and then nothing really happens when the credits start rolling. and then people start leaving there seats and venture off into the real world, wondering why mi6 is searching face book, for the idiot responsible for… selling a camera with top secret information. wow… good going pennywise.
to me, not much difference between the acts of falling in love, then falling out of love, then falling in the money pit, where tom hanks will rape you until your screaming out the secret of the davinci code at the top of your lungs while he plays chopsticks on a giant piano….and getting shotin the head by the godfearing rifle bearing idiot, who blames it on a flack jacket worn by melbrooks while waiting for some other rifle bearing idiot to shoot down the producers. man this things just getting evil aint it? more!!!!!
i havent been paying attention to the local news, because the local news is written like a bunch of seventh and eith grading tooks over the printing press, raped and pilaged every last respectable writing staff in the universe, bombed pearl harbor, blamed it on the japenese, then raped and pilaged nbc offices for ideas on decent shows, created joey, then wrote something down, and forced the editor in cheif to print the damned thing. its weird how everything is in the world, first you have the large communities, who by far, might be respectable if not for the fopahs of releasing stupid articles about even stupider people, and then repeat those very same veritable actions of the stupid people, making themselves look even more stupid. its a vicios circle.
then we have the medium communitiesm who just dont really give a crap about anything other then there overly obsessiv step fathers who touch them in the middle of the night, claiming to be doctors, when they really arent. there just evil peds who like touching things. then…heres the funny part, when the whole communities finds out what they already know, its SHOCKER! meaning that a wrestler, has just jammed his two fingers down your throat and made you throw up you lunch… on review… that last sentence made less sense then the mj trials of underwear versus socks. which is better to masterbait with?
speaking of which there been a little bit of debate about prop 8, which bans gay marriages. yeah… try telling that to gay people who get married in vegas just to avoid the whole rigamorale of the legal system. look, people are goin to vote for something they like, and against something they dont like. its just that simple. so what did i vote on it? no. everyone should have…wait..almost everyone. and the only person i could think of, that doesnt deserve to get married would be brian quinoness, whos just a complete assholic. lol…i dont mean that hes gay…which he is….i mean that hes a complete asshole. who likes the drink a bit too much. which explains a number of things regaurding the mind department. “oh im better then everyone else so im going to make anything i think sucks ass feel bad about the wya they do things and blah blah blah..” who really gives a shit?
there are more important things to worry about then crouching insults and flying lawsiuts against the poor, blind, deaf, tarded, monkey handed and stupid. i say stupid because…. well…. there are just stupid people out there who deserve that title, and thats all im saying.
look… its not my fault that some people are just born with the stupid gene put in them…brian…. lol… yes david i know your reading this thinking that im gay for brian… im not…. im horny for cassi. you heard right. deal. but the american justice system is onipotent in itsm any ways which make andy dick look normal. like the fact the joe olsteen whose surpisingly…other then looking like a creepy smiling idiot… is a good enough pastor that whe gets paid to yap on and on about things people already know about. good, god fearing people who that your supposed to buy the milk with the experation date thats further from the current date by at lat least six months. people, who, when they see kids on there lawn, do the world a service to the war veterans, and yell at them to get off there lawns. because thats what god wants people to do. yell at other people in hopes thell really get off there precios blue alabama grass thats crisp in the morning and ready to feed the stupid people in the afternoon. moo bitches.
if theres anything really surprising, its still the fact i have fallen completely in love with caasi, like charly sheen has the bottle. im addicted to her, i love her voice, the way she moves, the way her hair smeels like grapes all the time, its just brilliant! i love her!!!!! and she loves me! and were happy as happy can be! just like jay leno falls in love with his over sized chin that scares little children at night. because night is when mr. rogers comes out with the most evil question of them all. “would you like to be my neighbor?” but i do love her, and would pretty much protect her from any harm, because thats what dedicated boyfriends to with there girlfriends. unlike k-fed. that ass.
mean while, what zrii hasnt cured, casi has. as well as her cool looking friend ceaser! yes im probably going to write alot about the two in the following weeks and months. because hes just so fucking awesome.
i have no fucking clue what to write next because i started writing this thing and oh fuck my nose has a annoyng drip at the end of it…. it really does bug the crap out of me, but by the time you read this it will have been deleted… not the blog, god no. i would never delete any of these babies. i love em too much. there we go , wiped it away, now im all better. just like the results of the oj stalkers versus oj in the case of the mistaken murdereererererererererererererer. lol… you sound like a motor boat. congratulations. i just annoyed the hell out of you with that senseless line.
abercromby and fucking finch!!!! you hear that!? abercromby is fucking fiches. that evil bastard! HOW DARE HE FUCK THOSE TINY LITTLE BIRDS. ITS LIKE SCREWING A TUBE SOCKS!!!!!! more important, do they throw up the finisher? fatality…death by spermicide.
its actually kind of amazing but i really have to pee.and now that ive done peeing…not in my pants, but in the toilet…like you really needed to know that…. i shall embarrass you more that by revealing the ultimate answer is 42 or 43… depending on what hemisphere you live in…. OH MY FUCKING GOD, I KNOW HOW TO WRITE THE WORD HEMISPHERE! IM A FUCKING GENIUS! but im a gneius who doesnt know how to spell the wor amphipbianatical auquatic deprevationalitical casualties. MOTHER FUCKER I AM A GIANT DICKED GENIUS!!!!! lol…. not to get a big head about such trivial meanings of life, love, the persiut of happiness in which will smith made na ass out of himself for his kid by solving a god damned rubix cube in the movie before i had a to change monkeys… because the current thosuand just wrote scripts for joey. which explains why there writing yet another highschool musical!!!!!!!!
oh god… oh my mother fucking whore bashing midget slinging god. wgy on this mother fucking earth did they have to make another one!!!!!!!???? WHYYYYYYYY? what is it with these idiot fiasco fasinated people that they have to make a fucking musical about probably the most akward time in our lives. great, that to hollywood, our next couple of generations is gong to wind up, singing there way through the midterm, accompannied by semi good looking people. THERE ARE NO UGLY PEOPLE IS THE MOVIE!!!! NO FUCKING UGLY PEOPLE IN THE GODDAMNED MOVIE!!!! what the fuck is up with that shit! you know, i was just cruising along the channels and BOOOOOOOOOOOM! there it is, the worst of the worst, the most highly anticipated year of the series, its worse then the lord of the rings! it even has a better ending then this peice of shit movie! WHO THE HELL WRITES THIS CRAP!???? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!
what its not enough that we suffer through a bunch of horrendous movie to game franchise, but we have to go through highschool all over again in the next 14 hours!!!!???? why!!!!??? why the fuck god why??? im sad, im more then sad, im fucking depressed at this pile pf crap we call the highschool musical 3…. god, i cant wait for the seqeul to this shit, colledge musical, where we get to follow the stupid beatiful people through yet another year of selfless self indulgense as they sing there way through, drunken one night stands with drunken chearleaders, both male and female. i know my target audience here. not to mention the creepy stalker song where it kind of sounds and looks like a rip off of pin ball wizard.
dont get me start on kim… because i will. shes the tainted love of my heart, the sadness that she brings with her to people she rejects, is more then enough cause to start world war through. lol. yes i went there, and im feeling a bit more evil then i originaly was, because early i was just going after stupid people., and celeberities, now im going to go after stupid people ive run into during my whole current number of years being alive. and if youve read this far, i congratulate you on your percerverence, may you do well in life alltogether.
back to the shrapnel that is a nuke in the fishball. bowl. its amazing, ive written myself to sobriety. I HAVE LETERALLY WRITTEN MY SELF TO SOBRIETY!!!!! TAKE THAT CHARLY SHEEN AND MARTIN SHEEN COMBINED!
you know, ive run into a lot of stupid people in my time and this really is the shit of them all. because he taught me so many good and bad things in life as well as the basic foundation for my current set of rules. bobby freaking zolezi. love the little bastard to death because in a way, ive had to deal with more of his drama then id like to. but it cant be all bad can it? not really, there were actually a lot of times where things were cool and we hung out and chitted about stupid things. that girlfriends stealing bastard. wish you were here. so i could hit you in the head. with a hug of friendship. and then kick you in the shin. with gifts of kindness. sending mixed messages is fun!