Masturbation is healthy.

Well, with a title like that, you’re sure to be wondering about all the amazing smart sounding bullshit about to flow from the intelligent and sophisticated parts of my head, right?
Right!?
No.
This is called Mindcicles.
Not Mindlopedia.
Y’want smart shit, go somewhere else.
You came here for my dumb ass and whatever insanity flows from my weird ass toes.
As the title states, Masturbation is a healthy thing, both male and female species do it.
How the fuck do birds masturbate!?
WHY IS THIS A QUESTION I’M ASKING!?
It is a release of built up fluids in the body, and also pretty fucking fun!
But more importantly, it’s a reset button, it’s a way for the body to just chill the fuck out and sometimes, it’s a very much needed thing.
Is there such a thing as too much masturbation?
Is there a comparison between such words and either a wet piece of beef jerky or block of Swiss cheese?
Yes.
And that answers that question.
But, it is healthy, and sometimes, other people can help you masturbate.
Hopefully, they don’t have you cornered.
Unless you want them to corner you.
You fucking freak.
It also helps you get to sleep faster, and gets you more focused. Why?
Because you don’t have that urge that punching you in the fun zone going, “Oi, mate! get yer’ fahcking hands down ‘ere and play wi’ meh!
Just remember, there’s a time and place for everything.
that time and place will always be when your alone and need to get the job done right.
Like using a monster truck as a golf cart.

Dear short women.

As you know, being short or tall has it’s advantages and disadvantages.
Keeping the ass hats away with bad vision is one of them.
I would like to think smaller boobs meaning less back pain would be another one, but then again, it’s a matter of perspective. More importantly, I would like to believe that science has been lying to us all and their are actually two brain halves, one in each breast. this explains why women in general are considered smarter than men.
Because we too have a second brain, it’s just rather unfortunately placed, and we keep sitting on them from time to time.
that being said, as a tall man, or Stretchy Boi as one would phrase it, it’s come to my understanding that Short woman plus Tall man equals Relationship goals. mainly because I’d like to think, and I’m just being blunt here, and I’m quoting a friend here, “That tall man dick just fills more.”
If I am mistaken, please let me know.
Yes, I will talk about the sex organs, whatever’s on my mind, because even though there are things that need pictures of cupcakes, exotic locales, or trips to where ever the fuck, I’m not one of those types that randomly douches it up because “Clickbaiting” means having to lie to you about how awesome I am.
So sirs and Madame’s, I’m treating you, yes YOU, like the beautiful intelligent persons you are and not having bright colorful pictures every two words.
They are pretty, they are fun.
I am neither.
I’m much better than them.
Suck it http://www.travelbanana.org.
You ass.

Right, talking about short women, meh, I really don’t like staying on topic, Short women are the shit, all women are the shit, y’all keep humanity going, no matter the height, because love is love. And We all know what’s at the base end of love, right?
Oh yeah, a shit ton of fuckin’.

But hey, we’re all adults here, and everyone has their things.
Some people like to fall in love, other’s want to love a sad clown in an iron lung.
Because there are people with a void of darkness in their hearts.
OMG THE CUPCAKE TRUCK IS HERE!
Fucking love me some cupcakes.

Fun Fact: women like sex too!

For the uninformed, this will surprise and shock you to no end!
Worlds will be changed forever!
Societies will crumble and shift!
No, Butterscotch toffee won’t save your stupid man baby brain from shattering into a thousand pieces you fucking idiot.

for the informed:
Carry on as usual.
If you see men screaming in panic, they are the dumb ones.

Ball is life, but ball should not be life.

Just remember:
Ball is Life.
But, Ball should not BE Life.

What is the ball in your life?
The thing that you can’t resist going after when it’s thrown in front of you?
Netflix?
Facebook posts?
Clickbaity videos?
Gaming?
VTO?
Sex?
We all have a ball in our life, and much like the retriever, we can’t help but go after it, but at what point does it stop being just “Fetching the ball” and more letting the ball fetch us?
I struggled with this for a long time, and much like the dog playing fetch, I went after gaming like a madman, I’d spend days just playing the same game to death until I either got a new one or finished that one.
“Ball is life” isn’t just a meme to some people, it’s an addiction, a thing they can’t help not separating themselves from, merely because it’s thrown in front on them.
One of the many balls I’ve become resistant to fetching is gaming. Right now, I’ve my Switch right next to me in it’s dock, just sitting there. I know that I could be playing it right now, enjoying some time in either Smash Brothers Ultimate or Fortnite (fun game BTW) but really, I know that getting some game time in wouldn’t really be productive to my time. I’ve got a blog to run, and maybe sometime in the future,getting back to writing Sogno Della Dinastia.
What’s the Ball in your life?

Another “Ball is Life” story.
I’m a youtuber, and I used to upload Videos every chance I got, we’re talking every half hour, just whip out the phone, record a quick video, post it, and forget about it, lol! And I used to knockout shoutouts every 30 seconds on Vine, Twitter, and the such. That was my Ball, and the shout out requests were the people playing fetch with me.
At some point I realized that I didn’t need to fetch the ball all the time, that I could be a good Doggo just by fetching the Ball well enough to satisfy myself, and let whatever happens happens.
I learned that not everything on my mind needed to be said, or recorded, and for a while it went very much against my own instincts, grating against my own impulsiveness to reach new Subscribers or followers.
Now, working for Amazon, there’s a new, mandatory Ball, getting making over 100 on my rate. i’m still fetching the Ball, but now it’s because i’m getting paid to do it, and this ball? I like fetching it.

But, I’m not going to let the Ball become my life. I want you to know that this post was inspired by a number of people and situations, across a good number of years. That no one thing is the core reason for this post being written.

Just remember:
Ball is Life.
But, Ball should not BE Life.

Missing in action… Or my lack of getting action.

This’ll be a short post, and it’s pretty much to the point. Is there a point where sex just stops looking attractive? I guess for me, it has. Hi, I’m Billy Mays, and fuck Oxyclean!

I guess ever since my ex fiance left for the final time, I just haven’t been as interested in getting laid as much. Or at all, for that.  I mean, it still interests me, but I don’t really have a drive to go get laid. Maybe it’s low testosterone in my system, or just one really long dry spell. Dunno really. I seem to have it in my gead that a relationship is requiered to have sex. I know there’s other options, like casual sex or hookers, but I kinda feel like I’d rather be with someone that makes me happy and vice versa in order to have it.

Yes, I’ve had a few casual encounters, but those were just attempted foreplay that didn’t really go anywhere. Meh, tired of being single, but at the same time, I’m kinda nervous about tryng to find another girlfriend. It’s not bothering me as much as I thought it would… But it would be nice to have a nice woman over during the holidays and some weeks inbetween.

Here’s looking at you kid.

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