I was thinking about the grand scope of the universe and why it was the squirrels get the best stick in life, like an ACTUAL fucking stick, I mean, if it were an actual FUCKING STICK that’d be questionable, because then you’d see sweet old ladies screaming for their lives with bags of broken crackers, all the while a fuck ton of squirrels with oddly bloody twigs would be chasing her, and you KNOW shit’s about to go down when you see that kind of bullshit happen.

I once saw an octopus. No reason really, it was just there, and I was having the time of my life just looking at this fucking thing, and I was like, “Hey, octopus.” And the thing did say a word, because it has an ass mouth. That’s right, you heard, Octopi have ass mouths, they can be masters of talking shit, because of their ass mouths, and there’s nothing you or I can really do about it.

There’s such a thing as redundant torture, where you do something utterly inane to someone else over a large or short period of time, and they’ll finally be all, “Hey, what the fuck.” All calm like, but you know deep down they’re sad.
Or… something, I don’t fucking know.

Maybe we’re all just in a simulation and the robots are the real players here, because that’d be absolutely amazing, if ready player one wasn’t about the time space-continuum because a vacation inditing the mass roach riot of 20:14 military time, because I like fucking with people’s perception of things every now and then. It’s just a thing I do, you know how I know? Because you aren’t me, and even if you were, I’d still be the one writing this fucking thing, so you can’t stop me no matter who you are!
Yes, I ripped that from Ace venture, which is honestly my favorite movie of all time.

I don’t wonder why time traveling eggs don’t time travel, they’d be too chicken by the end of it. Ha.

Dumb jokes for smart people include:
1. My dating life.
My hair line.
The fact I more famous than a regular potato.
Every knows a regular potota. Or potato.
Fuck pototas. They’ve done nothing for humanity.

Those assholes.
This blog was brought to you by the overwhelming need to fuck around on the interenet and write some weird bullshit that’ll make you question if I’m high or not.
I am 6″5 or six foot five inches. Why does my jaw feel like a peice of toast ready to pop the fuck out of a toaster? Oh yeah, gravity. I keep forgetting that’s a thing.
Kinda like Brangolina. Or Bracheal.
Or Bennigan’s.

Well, let’s do this!

I’ve been through a thing or two, because I’ve seen a thing or two, and I’m not sure at what point those things or two can get fucking bored of this joke, also it takes me five or so minutes to get settled in when I’m getting ready to write a post, so I’m thinking, GREAT… another word I’ve misspelled. I always have trouble with spelling certain words correctly, it’s craaaazy.

Want to know what else is crazy? The fact that I’ve not written in this thing for so long. I’ve got some hard truth’s to nub out, but I’m not going to focus on them, because I’ve only 4.5 hours of sleep, and people keep slamming into my room to try and distract me from what I’m doing, which is now a thing I have to deal with.

I’ve been busy with writing, with game making, with a bunch of crap that I’m easily distracted by or I just feel like I needed to switch gears on. Oh, right, about 5 weeks ago I tried to hang myself in the garage, and now my folks are trying to crush the story so that way people don’t get freaked out by that fact.

Anyways, floating around is tweet thread about the whole thing, so if I remember about it, I’ll link it at the bottom of this post. Writing… Well, let’s get to that thing very quickly, lately, I’ve been using a writing engine called twinery 2, a kind of branching writing program that’s fucking simple to use, and you don’t need any prior experience to use it.

I’m using it because I love writing books and I love writing expansive stories that are amazing.

What I don’t love are people trying to tell me how to use the program, because that’s when I try to cram as much stuff in it, they either lose interest in what I do, or I just lose interest in that particular thing for a time. But that’s neither here nor there, again, I’ll put a link in the description below.

Those who’ve been following my blog for years, know that I have a passion for creating things, and my latest endeavor in RPG Maker MV, is a triumph in it’s own right. I LOVE making things, it’s what I’m good at, even if the results are a bit shoddy, I know this because I always put 9,000,000% into whatever I’m working on at the moment, and always try to make it the best thing I can.

This current project I’m working on, “Project 1” is the working title, is no different. It still has the same basic premise as my other works, with Darkness and Light being a married couple who need to be extra fucking kinky in bed. So their idea of foreplay is to send newly created souls on adventures and live vicariously through them, because they aren’t so much as people as they are the physical manifestations of the very concepts of Light and Darkness, and who the fuck are we to think they have genitals. Who knows? Maybe their idea of shitting and pissing is summoning the Old Eldritch gods to consume and kill virgins in the upper northern tip of West Virginia, we’ll never know, because that’s just way too meta-physical, and we’ll never know the truth of WHY THEY CHOOSE TO CARRY PIZZA ON THE SIDE INSTEAD OF FLAT WAYS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE, YOU LOUSY SHITS!

Anyways, I…  I think I channeled my inner John Oliver there, weird. So, this time around, instead of smacking together four random characters and flinging them to the wilds, you’re instead playing as a ghost who takes over the bodies of six characters, in one case, you’ll be switching between creepy twins, no reason, just a gameplay mechanic, and seeing the world through their eyes. The interesting part about this, is you’re told right off the bat “that you’re nothing more than a sex toy to the couple, now go out there and start adventuring you freshly baked fuckboi!” In essence, dear god folks, I put a bit more work into it than that, lol.

So, because I’m so interested in branching paths and separate but connected storytelling, there are three paths to take, Light, Neutral, Darkness, and each has five to six paths, making it 15 to 18 possible adventures, including one where you just wander around a library, and due to some interesting flaws in the editor and my own laziness to go any deeper than I have to, get repeatedly yelled at for climbing on the bookshelf in increasingly more hilarious ways.

Not to mention I might make a fourth path with an actual story behind it,  well, the whole thing will have an overarching story behind it, I just don’t like to pigeonhole myself into specifics or else I’ll just end up getting bored with it trying to find tune the shit out of everything OVER AND OVER AND OVER again,

On top of that, I’ve got two different Discord servers I’m running, which I need to transfer ownership over to myself, so that way I can really get things kicked off. A fresh start so to speak, though I really do have having to delete anything, though I’ve already have a few other things on my plate already.

Hrm… what else? Not much… Anyways, have a good one!

Link to the tweet thread about my suicide attempt:

Link to my Philome.la page:

What is goin on!?

More likely, their doing to us, what we’ve done to squirrels for decades, and some of those little bastards are now in charge of Google getting their sweet, sweet, Tracker Tat revenge.

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this peice of crap blog. But I’m not gonna slam my own posts, because that’s what douchebags with no social lives do! See, I teach you things! Really! Anyways, let’s get this thing started off with a big ol wire hanger up the cooter, right? Abortion is no laughing matter, but since it’s bunch successful in only bringing up peoples lunches with pictures of horridly mangled fetuses, I’d like to point out that getting cornered by this picture posterboard carrying sons of bitches right after I’ve eaten my meatball and noodle sandwich in heavy velvet tomato sauce, is pretty much a good way to turn a attempt at traumatizing with education about abortion, into a reverse paint throwing, with the pain being the contents of my stomach, and the fur coat being their face, neck, and chest.

Sometimes, I get lucky, and it lands on their expensive shoes. They argue that I should pay for a new pair of shoes, I argue that should buy me a new lunch. All uin all, they eave me alone, and I have nightmares. The actual procedure of abortion is kinda like a game of hungry hungry hippos. Where the Mr. Fantastic hippo is the wire hanger, and well, the poor little bastards are those annoying white plastic balls. now I’m not going to talk about this, because I seriously think that ultimately, who the hell are we to tell a woman what to do with her kid? More importantly, are the new line of Furby dolls possessed by the tears of disappointed six years olds? I say yes.

Furbies are fucking evil, and if you bought one for your kid, there is a special placei n the deepest level of hell reserved for you, Reality TV producers that thought honey Boo Boo childs TV show was a great idea, and Bill O’reily, cause that little jack ass has it ocming to some extent. Speaking of polotics and the evil doe eyed dolls it produces, Dem’s, Indies, and Repubs are arguing all over the place whether or not Obama’s glitchy as hell healthcare system should be given a Rocky Franchise number of chances, and if they do, should the Mascot be a Furby, because A) It might be evil, possessed of many flaws, and often mistaken for a stuffed ferret that got addicted to meth. B)It’s something that Special Interest groups that lobby for Big Insurance are vehemently throwing mounds of their own bullshit at because, why theh ell not make a simple thing complex?

I argue that Obamacare be given a chance. Yes, I voted for the guy on the premise that he’s not a republican, nor Jeb Bush, and that’s a win on both counts to me. I am a left leaning middle of the road kinda guy. And to those of you that bring up the point that Pres. Obama is the Antichrist/Worst president Ever/(Or, for those Racist assholes out there) It’s called the WHITEhouse for a reason, I counter with this:

He’s the Democratically Elected POTUS, and Y’all are jackasses, especially the racist ones.

While I don’t normally yap on and on about things that don’t interest me, I’m gonna put my foot in your mouths while you’re sleeping on this point. When Bush was elected… Twice, He made love to this country, and left us all with a horrifying case of “WTF Space Crabs” in the form of a few wars we didn’t need, a globally recognized “Kick Me” note stabbed to the U.S.A’s Reputation, and most importantly, he decided to throw us all over a cliff at the end of his second term while singing “Bye Bye Birdy”.

In other news, I support Gay Marriage, since, you know, the persuit of happiness is in the fucking constitution, and the GLBT community deserves to be just as happy as the rest of us. Also, it’s none of our damned business about how/where/with who/when/why/where/what they do their business. I’m simply happy for happiness sake, and to be honest, the High Desert, in general, though a very lovely place to live, has the most paint peelingly horrid pessimism levels ever incountered. This does not apply to everyone, just the ones that’re always dumping their bad news all over my pretty damned good day.

More pressing then that, Google is apparently becoming the Devil more and more. If you’ve ever seen the movie, Left Behind, with that one dude that was theh ero in 3DO’s The Horde, there’s this bit about getting tatted up so Satan’s little techies can keep an eye on you. Mind you, I’m religious, but not to the extent that creeps people out. just I’ve just done to myself. Anyways, there’s talk of a Giggle Tat out there with cyber ink, not the cyber you’re all thinking of you dirty, dirty person you. Apparently, they’ve decided on squeezing the T-1000 into a tat needle and jamming that jerk right into people’s necks, just a little bit at a time. Isn’t our privacy supposed to be, you know, PRIVATE? We’ve got FB screwing us in the front, the internet in the back, and now Goggle’s decided to jam shiny shit into our necks and claim it’s for cTech communication purposes.

More likely, their doing to us, what we’ve done to squirrels for decades, and some of thosel ittle bastards are now in charge of google getting their sweet sweet Tracker Tat revenge. Then there are all the little things I’ve missed out on yapping about, like PETA being a giant bag of dicks, because they care. Just… Not about Fashion, hard work in that soul sucking, vacuum formed sub culture of pissed off anorexic women who can never turn right, and must treat the stage like their own personal NASCAR track.

Yes, I’m talking about the always mockery filled world of Fashion, abusive managers, and labor in third world countries that produce those awesome shoes you’re wearing thus far. I’m in yo’ computer, searching through your internets, hide your browser history, hide your cookies, and hide your stash of horrible, horrible, adult videos, cause… I’m not in your computer, and half of you freaked out like I was. The internet is pleased. I have nothing more to say…

For now!

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