Nazi Beer Pong, R. Kelly Crying, and Erasing Michael Jackson… What the fuck.

So, normally, or rather lately I don’t bother with the stronger stuff, I just don’t, there’s already enough examples of me getting pissed about dumb ass things that really… I shouldn’t get mad at.
Still, the Miss America Pageant can go fuck itself, I have my reasons.
So, what’s the new rager today?
I mean, if you have to ask that, ya’ didn’t read the title of this, did ya?
So let’s tackle the biggest fucker here, shall we?
Nazi beer pong. Teens who recently learned about the Holocaust, and saw the angry Austrian dude flinging hands around, who blamed Germany’s defeat on the Jewish annnnd subsequently decided, “AWRIGHT, LETS PARTAY!” first off, fuck em. fuck those idiots for thinking this was such a GREAT FUCKING IDEA in the first place,
Yes, I get it, they’re sorry, but y’know what? That’s the beauty of getting older, you start to give less of a fuck about the fact they’re sorry AFTER THE FACT and more pissed about the fact they did this shit in the first place.
Not to mention, y’know, the great sentient cheesy poof with a habit of flicking the word Fake News everywhere failed to condemn Nazis, and said there were great people on both sides… Yeah, I’m guessing that had a shit ton to do with why they thought this was a great theme for a party, which, HA, underage drinking and the usual dumbassery of thinking they’d get away with this was fucking brilliant.
Also, kudos to the dumbass that thought up the brilliant plan of flooding the principal with emails so he wouldn’t be able to expel them from school. yeah, no. If I were the principal of that place, I’d have thrown a fucking rally, invite the little bastards to the center of the auditorium, give a big ol speech, and hand them the expulsion papers, and yeah, while that’d be quick to solve the riddle of “Hurdur, can’t expel us if we’re gunna flood his emails!” and quick to piss a few parents off, I’d kindly remind the little shits that our school has no room, absolutely none whatsoever for that kind of bullshit.
And yes, the parents would have their opinions about “WE PAID SO MUCH MONEY SO OUR DARLING LITTLE ANGEL COULD HAVE THE BEST EDUCATION!”
I would have mine, “We sent good young men to their graves by the thousands to kill the Nazi sumbitch that was killing over 6 million Jewish practitioners, and the last thing we need is another rise of the Nazi, get your kid the fuck off my campus.”
My initial gut reaction over with… Let’s dial it back a little.

First, don’t get me wrong, I read the CNN article, and I’m happy that the Nazi Beer Pongers got a taste of reality, by way of Eva Schloss telling them about the horrors of the Holocaust, about how she and her Step sister, Anne Frank, hid from the Nazis in an apartment block, and survived the concentration camps while, unfortunately, Anne Frank passed away before her sixteenth birthday.
It’s refreshing to know that with the proper guidance and educational tools, as well as a little first person recounting of such horrifying events, the youth of today can become a better generation.
Seriously, Fuck Nazis.
I wanted to get that out of the way before heading into the second part.

R. Kelly crying… Just, okay, I don’t even know where to begin, so i’m going to start at the heaviest thing here:
The man’s accused of having relations with underage girls, imprisoning women in his house, being a controlling asshole, and… yeah, let’s zipline back to that first one, since, the other two pale in comparison:
R. Kelly is being accused of being a sexual predator.
Just… what the actual fuck. And when Gayle King interviewed him, and I love this part, because it shows that for a split second he premeditated and planned this shit out:
Robert asked if a particular camera was on him, and when it was confirmed, the dude purposefully flipped out, addressing the camera directly, screaming, punching his fist, flipping out, basically the god damned water works.

And I wasn’t focusing so much on the man baby being a dramatic asshole, I was much more focused on Gayle herself, she sat there, with poise, calmly trying to figure out a way to get everything under control, and she did just that.
He just continued pouring on the gas to the fire and went all out, and while I’m tempted to feel sorry for the guy, I can’t, I just can’t.
IF, for some reason, this was blackmail, or someone had kidnapped someone close to him, and he was freaking out about this, because they wanted something of his, but he’s like, “Nah motherfucker, my shit’s mine.” THEN and only then would I feel sorry for the guy. And if he’s proven innocent in the end of all of this, I will walk back my comments, but if he’s guilty of pedophilia, then all my fucks have simply run out and he deserves everything coming to him.
It’s sad to know that being a Celebrity comes with the known risk of someone destroying your life because of a fuck up, and yes, I am aware that nothing’s been proven yet, but Robert’s going to have to register as a sex offender, serve time in which he’ll get his ass handed to him many times over, his music’s getting pulled off the play lists the world over, and basically, his life’s work is over with.
Hopefully, the latter’s not the case, but if it is, fuck him. Never listened to his music that much anyways. And there will always be a dedicated fan base, no matter what. People, fans, that will listen to his music no matter what the hell is going on.

Which brings us to the final third of this: Because of a documentary aired on HBO, “Leaving Neverland”, basically the poison pill that kills the majority of love for the King of Pop, Michael Jackson is effectively and posthumously being erased from culture, why?
As stated above, there will always be die hard fans who’ve got eternal love for Michael Jackson, no matter what, but it will become more and more difficult to publicly show that appreciation for his musical genius, especially when there are parties out there, ever ready to continue their assault on his musical majesty.
The documentary has interviews from people claiming Michael molested them when they were kids, and I’m not going to lie when I ask the question, where the fuck were these assholes while he was alive?
Why did they only feel safe to come out of the woodwork ten years after he passed away, though there are people out there that say his doctor murdered him. And verdicts as well. Nother topic for another day, if I remember that.
What disturbs me the most is, that in this weird era we seem to be in, Which, hey, if it does the great deed of removing creepy fucks from positions of power, I’m all for it. But, if the movement assails the memory of the person after they’ve passed away, that’s just wrong.
Regardless of what the proof and verdict is, I will always enjoy michaels music, regardless of what the majority of die hard Celeb Status killers want to say.
Prove them guilty while they’re alive, while it has the most impact, don’t wait till their bodies have been cold in the ground for a decade to turn the cherished memory of the person into a pile of shit smelling ash.

So, in closing:
Nazi’s can go fuck themselves.
Robert Kelly needs to man the fuck up and stop pitching bitch fits at the camera.
Stop trying to kill the memory of his Musical Majesty, Michael Jackson, long may he moon walk over the haters.

Just needed to get this out of the way…

Here’s an update to EoB.

20180220_190001Alrighty, so here’s an update for the massive undertaking that is “Evolution of a Blogger” So it booped up from 898 to 916 pages, and given createspace’s page limitations based on book sizing, I think it’s a safe bet to say that instead of one MASSIVE book, like I was originally planning, I’ll probably end up breaking it up into two or three books in a series. So I’ve got word opened up and I’ve created a header system to better organize the fuck out of things, because, as we all know, searching through a fuck ton of pages is a great way to spend time better used editing! Here’s a screen cap:

Okay… Apparently that feature does not fucking work. I’m not angry, I just swear a lot when I’m writing. It’s a bit off putting, I know, but at the same time, it’s like you’re getting to know a very angry Sailor who’s verbally abusive towards an empty bottle of scotch. It makes more sense if you tend not to think too hard about it.

Anyways, the header system actually saves a shit ton of time when trying to keep track of everything, because not only do I have to edit, and keep track of the post titles, because i’m more micromanaging than a South Korean Starcraft player, later on, after everything is all said and done, I have to reorganize everything so that the posts that aren’t in order, are now in order from Oldest to newest, and that’s… Not going to be fun at all… Not one fucking bit, it’s actually stressing me out just thinking about how much work i have to knock out.

But it’s a good, motivational stress that I know for a fact comes with the job. And i’m pretty psyched about the whole prospect. At the moment, I just got into the 2010 blogs, and I dunno about you, but in 2010… ugh. I don’t even want to think about it. Anyways, so here’s how I have things broken down:

Title>Table of contents>Year>Month>Title

It doesn’t make much sense when put like that, not because i’m lazy, but because i just drank half a pot of coffee by mixing three scoops of coffee grounds  and some water into a thermos, swooshed that around, let it sit over night, and drank nearly half of it in the morning. So yeah, moving on, staying focused.

So, There are three levels of Table of Contents:

  1. The MAIN Table of contents which lists the years covered in the book itself.
  2. Those years have their own table of contents, which lists the months covered.
  3. Those months then have their own table of content directing the reader to individual posts.

I figured it’d save a bunch of time in the long run doing that instead of a massive table of content listing every post in order of appearance, because you know how it goes, right? you’re sitting there, scouring the internet for every single blog post you’ve ever made, trying to find the greatest source of them all, because we all have that giant core of blogs that’s our main hub of weird bullshit, then we have our ‘Secret’ Blogs that aren’t on face book. For myself, I have several places where I’ve blogged.

  1. Facebook
  2. WordPress
  3. Blogger
  4. Blogit
  5. Myspace
  6. Pastebin
  7. Twitlonger
  8. Twitter
  9. Discord
  10. Fubar
  11. Black planet
  12. Bigente
  13. Matchdoctor
  14. Adultmatchdoctor
  15. Tumblr
  16. Posterous
  17. LiveJournal
  18. OKCupid
  19. and more…

So far, Word press, blogit, Facebook, pastebin, and others are the largest repository for blogs I’ve posted in the past, and while i’m going to have an Extra’s section, I am also scouring old chat logs and other sources for older posts than 2007… Because I will document every scrap of my own rambling stupidity if it’s the last thing I do!

Though i’m trying to stay focused, I’ve also got a number of other projects under my belt that i’m trying like hell to get published, edited and formatted and off the table. The biggest, thus far was One Shots: Army of the Incomplete, basically a huge collection of short stories that I just kind of left by the wayside for so long that they no longer mattered to me. Sometimes these things were a paragraph long, other times had the potential to become something more than they currently were, but for whatever reason, I just didn’t have the time or focus to work on them like I truly wanted to.

There are some projects with a branching story path, which is why I loved website with a treegraph system in place so I can just pick up where i left off on that particular adventure, but Storymash, Protagonize, and other such giants fell by the wayside.

Sucks, but that’s how things usually are when it comes to creative writing, and unless you update the UI or color scheme for these kinds of websites to reflect modern times, or it’s basically just a big ass bloated monster with many hands writing many things all connected to each other at one point or another, you never truly know the impact such a thing might have, or the hole it’ll leave behind when it’s gone. I just reminded myself to search on those various sites, If you’re interested in seeing what other things i have up my sleeve, feel free to join my discord server, probably the only non-racist server on the platform. I’m also on Sola under Gripmonkey, here are the links to both:

https://sola.ai/gripmonkey
https://discord.gg/7dCKpZu

I repeat. Stupid Teens piss me off.

There’s this twitter group chat I was pulled into that I wanted nothing to do with. Called The Spooky jungle 2. Three Teens, all 17, looking at me like I was a god damned hero. Well, I’m an adult, and I’m all the fucking wiser, turned out, all their praise and ‘Yay! You’re you!’ was just to get a rise out of me, just calling me babe was a fucked up way of trying to get me pissed at them. Well, ya know what? I didn’t care, I was focused on getting books written and published and I’m not the same idiot I was way back when, before I tried getting into the Navy. I’m smarter, busier, chiller. And these kids were doing their damnedest to try and piss me off, but ya know what?

I didn’t let em. there was this one idiot, I forget his name, he was a forgettable piece of shit, and mind you, all of this took place on Twitter. I hate stupid people, and more importantly, I really fucking hate stupid teens that end up pissing me off for one reason or another. You want to know why? Especially on the internet, I had spent a good couple of hours helping these little fucking idiots out with all their stupid drama and problems and how do they thank me?

They start hammering on me like I’m just some dumb ass, calling me a fuckin’ meme, like that’s supposed hurt my fucking feelings? Bitches, I’m a motherfucking Living Meme, you calling me a meme is like saying the blue shit above our fuckin’ heads is called a sky!

No fucking shit I’m a meme, ya don’t think I know that? They kept calling me their sugar daddy, which I wanted no fucking part of and to be honest, their YouTube channel was fucking shit anyways. According to them, the only way to get anywhere in life is to be an annoying shit bag filled with dicks, or at least that’s their approximation of it anyways. These motherfuckers kept pinging me on twitter like I was their lord and savior, I’m sorry.

No, No I am fucking not. If anything I’m an easily irritated man who put up with their stupid BS because hey, they called me friend! Boohoo fucking them. So, after they get all weepy eyed because I ain’t playing their game, after I gut whatever piss and shit filled pants drama they were going after, after all I fucking do for them, they turn out to be just regular fucking shit bag teens, like I said, there are smart, good teens that know their asses from a hole in the ground and then there are the fucking assholes doing the tide pod challenge as if their Social Standing on Instasmackedface needed it. These little fuckheads, were exactly the second category.

Look, I can understand wanting to get to know me, that’s cool and all, but when you go and turn ass hurt over me not talking to you over the course of a few days, that’s when I know your parents didn’t smack ya hard enough when you did something stupid in their presence.

I ain’t going soft here, if anything, I’m still very much pissed, parents need to control these little shit bags on tighter leashes and prevent this kind of bullshit from happening. I’m not going to go back to being friendly after you spend an entire four hours pinging a group chat on twitter calling me a fuck head because I’m not playing the role you assigned me ya stupid club penguin playing piece of shit!

I honestly can’t stand that type of needling shithead, I really can’t! so what? I’m not doing shout out videos for anyone anymore, but you know what? I’m a fucking human being with feelings, and if the underdeveloped logic center of your tiny, fucking, idiotic brain can’t handle the fact that I’ve got better shit to do than heed to the whiny, bitchy, ignorant, crying pants shitting that you and your stupid fucking idiot teen friends on twitter are currently crying about, so the fuck what?

Boo fucking hoo, Kim kardashian liked a photo of a former friend of yours, but didn’t like your own!? OH THE FUCKING WORLD IS ENDING BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GET YOUR WAY! Well, lemme call Dr. Fucking Phil and we can have ourselves a fucking pow wow and get all touchy feelly with whatever Hot Topic based emo bullshit you’re going through!

Fucking ay… These stupid fucking teenagers… Yeah, I could rip on Millenia’s, but why bother? Every stupid idiot trend they set, they’re paving the way for the future. But when 16 year old Becky Whogivesafuck from Idontgiveashit creates a new design for earbuds!? OH MY GOWD, LEMME SNAPCHAT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT FUCKING NEWS BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT, THAT’S GOING TO MAKE THE FUCKING HEADLINES FOR GOOD DAY LA OR WHATEVER THE SHIT NEWS PROGRAM currently has a case of the fucking happy feelly get #metoo’d right in the face!

I’m not sorry at all. I’m very much still ticked about the whole entire situation and while I can understand the irony of me bitching about stupid teens on the internet being stupid fucking teens, there’s a line I usually draw in the sand, a huge line. I don’t care for the idiotic memes, I don’t care for the reckless idiocy, I don’t fucking care about whatever fucking beef is being had by whatever two music idols that can’t fucking sing without a fucking iphone attached to whichever of a thousand genders is going down I don’t fucking care about any of it.

My thing is this, you treat me nice, I treat you nice. We’re friends till you start being a shit heel towards me. “Look at your YouTube channel!” What about my YouTube channel? Are you going to point out anything specific or are you going to leave the insult half finished like whatever stupid fucking idiocy is running through your heads at the moment!?

I long suspect that no. Teens today think that a question is an insult. They think that eye rolls are insults. They think that asking questions, regular questions, or telling you to look at something, is a fucking insult. It is not. It’s just a fucking question or a direction to look at something, that’s pretty much all it fucking is! You see the Kardashiwhogivesashits point at the camera man going, “Ugh, look at your ankles, you’ve got weird ankles!” Well, I wouldn’t put it past them to try something stupid like that. Because in the age is fuck headed ass monkeys, there are no bigger fuck headed ass monkeys like some of the teens or young adults on twitter i get to put up with.

Another great example is when I tweet something that i believe in, and then you have a fucker that constantly, at every possible moment in fucking time, decides to reply with some stupid shit! Example:

@MorganGavin

Today is going well!

Reply by @fuckfacemcgregtard

Yeah, but I’m going to jail!

My initial response used to be: Well, okay then. Still a nice day.

My response now is: You did something to deserve it you stupid shit bag!

Look, the process for all forward growth is conflict. Without conflict, competition, and survival of the fittest, we wouldn’t have good people and shit heels. If you’re a good person, good for you, I already like you. If you’re a shit heel, go fuck yourself, never blemish my day with your very shadow, ya shady as fuck idiot. God damned… feels good to get this off my chest.

I feel invisible…

I can’t seem to tell if it’s just the way I’m aging, or if I’m actually kinda losing my mind. I’m staring a cup of coffee, black, no creamer, and I’m instantly snapped to focus on something else. As if the urge is telling me that I’m out of focus, out of energy, that I need to get back to the basics of who I was before the internet came along and shrouded me in the never ending parade of stupidity, videos, and various little obsessions that never amount to much more than a bad headache and lost time.

I can’t really put a finger on it, or maybe I can. I’m trying to search for something, anything to write about that isn’t main stream, that makes me invisible for the time being. Almost like I’m forgetting something. Something near and dear to me, something that’s always at the edge of of my thoughts, just past where the light of creativity touches, something forbidden. I don’t know what that is though, like a writers block almost? you know that feeling where you take a hard look at your life in the moment, and you think, just where the fuck am I right now?

I’m at that point, and whether I like it or not, I have a following, a slightly small one, but a following none the less.
Maybe I’m just too serious?
Too ridiculous?
Too… Me?
But I look at the posts I’ve made in the past, and wonder at what I was aiming for when I wrote those. And half the time, I’m too terrified to go through them to edit, because maybe I already know what’s lurking in the darkness of my memory of that time? An indirect trauma, a lashing of forgotten nightmares, so pent up inside a few trigger words that I might scream for help for nothing more than a few digitized words?

I don’t know if I’m being overtly dramatic or what not, but that’s honestly the way I feel when I look at a blank post, a clean slate for that precious few minutes wherein the only thing I need to worry about isn’t making a video, or starting a live stream, or even dealing with the dramas and annoyances of the discord server. It’s just a visceral feeling, like your mind finally feeling free, released, relaxed and in its own way, creative at long last.

It’s a kind of zen in a way, a way to unwind, letting your thoughts melt away into the ridiculous depths of your own psychosis, your own psychological instability directing the way you travel. Eventually you’ll get to the heart of the matte,r and no matter how much you trumpet your intentions, there’s always one thing or another to deal with. I don’t mean to be vague, but the fog of my mind will eventually clear up and we’ll get to the heart of the matter rather quicker.
I guess I’ve always been this way, meandering thoughts, loosely connected by little tidbits here and there of faceted reality that might not otherwise be known to the outside observer. But wander away we must. Not that I’m trying to figure out a deep meaningful story, or waste your time. I’m just traveling my own path, and if for some reason you seem to be aligned with me, for whatever length of time, then I guess we’ll be travelling together.

I don’t usually get into the habit of deep intellectualism, or intelligent discourse, or something more than the garden variety idiocy that I’ve come to accept as part of of my everyday life. I just like writing, the way the click of the keyboard matches up in an awkward way with the music eventually. I know that I’m going to run out of things to talk about, or write about, or I might simply get distracted yet again.
It’s a worrisome habit of mine. And I do rather like taking the scenic route to reach the heart of the matter. But I like it, there’s no rush, no demand on my time, nothing of the sort. In fact, regarding the discord and Youtube and twitter weirdness, the fervor of the fan bases, the dumbed down regency of the varying users that tend to try and make my life a living hell… You don’t notice it here, on this blank slate of a blog post, you are truly in your own head.
Truly without a companion in the writing sense, and yet, sometime in the future, after I’ve posted and forgotten about this, a random person will read this, and I won’t even get a chance to thank them. But such is the way of things, and such as they will forever remain.

I don’t get many commenters on my posts, never have. I don’t know why that is, I guess I’ve always been a bit bad at getting a following going, despite what the numbers say on twitter, or vine, or live.me, or Youtube, audience interaction is always low. I don’t really have access to engaging topics, or even entertaining stuff. I just have to make do with my own quick witted mind and hope that’s enough…

In the end, I am alone, on my own. And while it does on occasion depress me, I never that I’ve got friends that are just a phone call away, or even fans that I can tweet at for a quick conversation. Although they only want a fan sign, or a video, or something of that meaning, they are kids, so I shouldn’t judge them too harshly. All I know is that I’m far stronger than I was when I first started writing. though I’m mostly just flailing in the darkness, I know that eventually something or someone will latch onto me.

After all, we bloggers are a lonely bunch.

Aren’t we?

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s what new!

Holy shit, I’ve got a lot to update y’all on! first off, my YT channel has blown  the fuck up, last we talked it was in the 100 sub range, now it’s at 327 and slowly growing by the day! I mean HOLY FUCK! and on top of that, I’ve got a massive fan base that love the shit out of the stuff I post, I mean engagement and retention just fucking suck all over, but ya know what? They love my stuff anyways. It’s like the family i never knew I had!

On top of that, my Twitter folowers have gone from, I dunno, 1000 to around 1411? It’s a weird experienc,e but i love it all the same! I mean my own real life stuff will come when it comes, but i just wanted to update you on a bunch of different things, and hoefully let my mind kind of wander around a little bit. Anyways, a couple of high profile youtubers are following me, including Colossal is Crazy, and a bunch of people in the COd community! this is isane! seriosuly! If you had told me a few years ago that i’d be this fucking popular on a few websites, I’d’ve kinda laughed. but holy shit, it is a steady fucking progression and now with live streaming, it… is still pretty fucking insane. I’m not sure how well this’ll spread on wordpress, but at the same  time, it’s time i got back into the habit of, well, doing something with my time when I’m not live streaming, podcasting for god knows how long.

Another new thing is discord, it’s only been out for a few months, but already, I’ve been able to get a neat little server going, the first time around with 100 members at its peak, but we had a breach of security, and shit went down. Luckily we were able to recoup the losses, and get a majority of our previous members back onto our server, but there are still a few of them out there, that well, for the most part we aren’t able to locate. Currently we’re at 58 members, maybe more. Sorry, 54 members. We’ve even got a podcast going, so that’s a thing! anyways, writing’s going well, even got a book published out of the whole mess as well!

If you’re interested in joining us, we’d love to have you guys! Here’s the invite link!

 

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