We aren’t alone in the universe?

We aren’t the only living things in the universe?
Our kind and loving god, in his many forms has more than one pet project?
Well shit.
Time to Naruto run.
So, aliens are real, which means Roswell actually happened, and that what no blimp.
So… fuck it.

I try to self motivate, caffeine usually helps out, gets me ready and pumped for the day, and sometimes chatting with Nigel or Gonzo helps out a bunch. But those chats are rare.

Annnnnd that was disappointing. So, let’s knock this out, or something, because now i’ve got shit piling up in my brain pan that’s worth venting about or something, and yes, fuck the time and dates about when the various part of this fucking thing were updated, because if there’s one thing I love, IT FUCKING INCONSISTENCY. Or incompetence.
Maybe incontinence?
Continents?
Fuck it, inconsistent incompetence incontinence stricken continents.
So, basically, a bunch of disorganized, dumb fucks who can’t control their shitting forming a country.

I know what companies going to skyrocket to the top!

Anyways, Peak 19 is here, and so are new hires, and THERE ARE A TON popping into work everyday, and some of them are memorable, and others are… well, slightly less memorable.
Yesterday, for instance, there were a few Day 1’s trying to open their lockers, Helena and… the other one, wish I’d gotten her name. Anyways, Helena was a bit more memorable because… just holy shit, she just was, they were both having trouble opening their lockers so I helped them out.
nothing special, just something to help them along, y’know?
First gal, Helena, short black gal, based on her energy level, I’d say between 18 and 24, thin frame, glasses, gauges in her ears, frosted tips,  short hair, I’m guessing she works in In/Outbound.
Second gal, didn’t get her name, roughly the same description, no glasses, either Caucasian or Latina, no gauges, just a bit shy,  they were both awesome.
The reason why I say they were both memorable is because there was something unique about them, something interesting, eye catching, a character unique to themselves.
True, there are tons of people I work with that are memorable, each with their own traits that stand out from the rest of the crowd, and I might start talking about them more, because… I don’t know, I seriously need to start blogging more…
Seems like the safest route, or at least, I’m thinking it’s the safest route for me to keep my own energy up.
But the reason the second gal was so interesting was she asked what my gmail was… normally, no one would bat an eye, but she… something caught her eye.
Kinda interesting in a way.

Outside of that, things are going well, because of Peak the managers popped into every department to make sure every part of the place was staffed to account for what I’m assuming is the safe guarding of productivity, so I was placed on 2nd floor Jackpot, and told to singulate the unsingulated. Which is less a really horrifying sex act involving two hornets nests and a pile of half melted Lego bricks and more making sure that the work pops in lengthwise, with no side by sides, and the stickers facing up.
Which, first time around, didn’t know what I was doing, the second time, nailed it LIKE A BAWS.

First half score: .20 percent, only a hundred boxes made it through. I have a feeling that it would’ve been a bit lower had I made sure all the stickers were up. But that’s a REALLY good score, considering the second half was 200 boxes, and I was thinking, dudes and dudettes need to step up their game. So, I’m predicting I might get staffed there again for either first or second half, depends on what’s going down.
One of the newer Jammers, Gonna call her D, who was staffed in the Singulators, got bored of it. She’s used to popping about, talking, doing her own thang. I dunno, kind of disappointed, but Jamming’s not for everyone, are the benefits to Jamming? Yeah, you get to learn about another aspect of the FC that you had no clue about.
Is it draining, yes.
But is the trade off worth it?
Fuck yas.

Everyone starts off White Badge, no exceptions, no matter where they staff you, everyone starts in the basics and then you work your way up. For me, it was receiving, I worked my ass off, got booped to Water spidering, worked my ass off there and eventually knocked out an application to Jam team, made the cut, learned the lay of the land rather quickly, learned a few other aspects, kept motivated, kept knocking out work. Caught the eyes of the peeps that needed a few good workers, and so on and so forth.
Will I eventually knock out Learning Ambassador? Yes, I want to, love teachings others, filling up their intellectual gas tanks with the rocket fuel of the gods!

Eventually, I want to make P.A, but I’m kind of hesitant about it, you see, being PA means early starts and late stops, meaning I’d have to find someway of getting to work earlier, not to mention data management and information analytics. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for all of that, and my shit was on point when it came to knocking notes down during the three day course.
But i needed that information to sink the hell in. Passing the class, not what I’m interested…. actually, yes. I need to stop taking the easy route and stimulate my brain in a way to the point where I feel fulfilled, I feel motivated and excited to try and light up some part of my brain with new information. Because at the moment, I’m just focusing on the physical part, and like any body, there are two sides, the central nervous system and the physical body. One can’t function without the other, ain’t possible, you can either be a really strong dumb ass or Stephen Fucking Hawking.
But to get the best of both worlds?
Y’need to be a really strong Stephen Fucking Hawking.

One more thing, so in regards to the above mentioned really strong Stephen Hawking, there’s a massive dude, named Mark, maybe eight or nine years older then me, the dude is fucking ripped, like diamonds edge ripped, ripped so hard he looks like a PS1 character made physical manifest. The later years, not… just shut the fuck up.
The dude’s a PA and really fucking ripped, the best of both worlds, so he’s just… fucking ripped.

Okay, in regards to an earlier part, Yes, Jam is awesome, y’get some tech on the floor, stay mobile, and get shit done.
Can it be an isolating thing? Yes.
the point being if you keep yourself motivated, occupied, focused on something during the down time, then you can knock it out like a snapped fart in an elevator.

We need to talk.

Alrighty folks, let’s talk a bit about not getting dicked over, or at the very least, putting up with it up until a certain point, yes?
So, I’m paying a friend 600 a month for rides to a from work, and before you say it, yes, I agree, it’s a completed fucked price.
But we’ve been friends for a long ass time, and I’m doing the right thing by helping him out.
That being said, let’s do the math.
Normally, I would’ve gotten paid between 2,200 and 2,500 a month, depending on Overtime.
that’s around 15/16 bucks an hour, pretty sizeable chunk of change right there, y’know?
My two main expenses:
Rent: 500
Rides: 600
————
1,100 a month for both.
we’re down to 1,100/1,300 a month.
That is a sizeable chunk.
That equates to about 1 and 300 a week total.
THAT is MEtroPCS money.
That is fucked.

Now, I’m down for the rent, that’s no biggy, it’s an evil fart cloud I can live with.
the 600 a month for rides that normally would’e run me around 120 a month?
Where’s this money going?
Gas, oil changes, and wear and tear.

Why the fuck am I responsible for this?
Because, we’re friends, and I’m doing the right thing… And I need a consistent ride to work, and he’s very consistent and worth the expense, and we’re good friends.

That last thing? The friendship? That’s what’s holding this thing together, and despite what everyone, including myself thinks about the arrangement, which I was able to bring down from 800.

So, “I’m doing the right thing by helping out a friend.” has become my mantra.
I’m doing the right thing by helping out a friend.
I’m doing the right thing by helping.
I’m doing the right thing.
Friendshippudden.

Ball is life, but ball should not be life.

Just remember:
Ball is Life.
But, Ball should not BE Life.

What is the ball in your life?
The thing that you can’t resist going after when it’s thrown in front of you?
Netflix?
Facebook posts?
Clickbaity videos?
Gaming?
VTO?
Sex?
We all have a ball in our life, and much like the retriever, we can’t help but go after it, but at what point does it stop being just “Fetching the ball” and more letting the ball fetch us?
I struggled with this for a long time, and much like the dog playing fetch, I went after gaming like a madman, I’d spend days just playing the same game to death until I either got a new one or finished that one.
“Ball is life” isn’t just a meme to some people, it’s an addiction, a thing they can’t help not separating themselves from, merely because it’s thrown in front on them.
One of the many balls I’ve become resistant to fetching is gaming. Right now, I’ve my Switch right next to me in it’s dock, just sitting there. I know that I could be playing it right now, enjoying some time in either Smash Brothers Ultimate or Fortnite (fun game BTW) but really, I know that getting some game time in wouldn’t really be productive to my time. I’ve got a blog to run, and maybe sometime in the future,getting back to writing Sogno Della Dinastia.
What’s the Ball in your life?

Another “Ball is Life” story.
I’m a youtuber, and I used to upload Videos every chance I got, we’re talking every half hour, just whip out the phone, record a quick video, post it, and forget about it, lol! And I used to knockout shoutouts every 30 seconds on Vine, Twitter, and the such. That was my Ball, and the shout out requests were the people playing fetch with me.
At some point I realized that I didn’t need to fetch the ball all the time, that I could be a good Doggo just by fetching the Ball well enough to satisfy myself, and let whatever happens happens.
I learned that not everything on my mind needed to be said, or recorded, and for a while it went very much against my own instincts, grating against my own impulsiveness to reach new Subscribers or followers.
Now, working for Amazon, there’s a new, mandatory Ball, getting making over 100 on my rate. i’m still fetching the Ball, but now it’s because i’m getting paid to do it, and this ball? I like fetching it.

But, I’m not going to let the Ball become my life. I want you to know that this post was inspired by a number of people and situations, across a good number of years. That no one thing is the core reason for this post being written.

Just remember:
Ball is Life.
But, Ball should not BE Life.

More intelligent than a dumb ass next to a switch

I walk in, do my thing, go to the sink to wash my hands, and the dude slides out like he’s Kramer from Seinfeld, like, “HEY YA JERRY! I’VE GOTTA TELL YA SOMETHING!”

Yeah, I fucking swear, UHMAHGAWD leave me alone~ Or some other weird bullshit like that, I dunno, maybe I do? Either way, we’s gon’ get drunk annnnnnnnnd blog. About random bullshit, I like mac n cheese, but not the kind of mac n cheese that’s mac n cheese. I’m fucking hipster like that, or not, fuck those idiots that claim to like things BEFORE they were cool. And Yeah, I know, old gripe, but can we PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, make the other days of the week food related? We’ve already got Taco Tuesday.
So let’s have Menudo Monday, Waldorf Salad Wednesday, Turkey Thursday, Fuckfoods Friday, you know? food that you eat after you have a good fuck, like shit you REALLY want to eat right after sex, I’m talking the kind of food that you just want to chow down on right after you get done chowing down on. Me?
Personally? A bowl of fucking lucky charms! Like, fuck yeah!
They’re magically delicious because SO AM I DAMMIT!
It’s all good. My cat is proving once again, that they do indeed rule the universe, because while i’m writing this, she’s doing everything in her power to role on my keyboard. So, every sentence is like a battle of wills between my wanting to knock out a post, and her wanting me to pet her. MOTHERFUCKER, I AM A GOD DAMNED BLOGGER, let me do this shit. I’ll give you scratchings behind the ears later.
Like a goddamn boss.

I’ve been working for Amazon for what seems like forever now, and I’m getting used to the flow of the same damned thing almost everyday, there’s there far away prospect of getting Blue Badged, at least, it seems like a far away prospect, in truth I’m not really sure when they’ll offer, but there are constant whispers of it up and down the lines, in the break room, and pretty much in the one bathroom stall that’s always occupied by the same guy.
No fucking joke.
Every single day, same stall, same guy.
I walk in, do my thing, go to the sink to wash my hands, and the dude slides out like he’s Kramer from Seinfeld, like, “HEY YA JERRY! I’VE GOTTA TELL YA SOMETHING!”
Funniest damned thing since it’s usually a PA, KBS, or AM, depending on the day, and what they felt like doing at the time. There’s two times where they have the departments gather called stand up, and it’s not that interesting, basically it goes:
1. People gather around.
2. Stretching.
3. any tips from the audience, (I usually get ignored, no matter how loud I am.)
4. Who to give props to. (also get ignored)
5. The mad rush to get to a station.

During any one of these portions, people are always talking, and the PA’s can BARELY be heard on the speaker system they’ve got set up, it’s the weirdest fucking feeling in the world. SEPS was the same way, only except people were fucked to speak during inspections. I almost kind of want Stand Up to be like inspections, just a little.

The job, love it, love everything about it. Made a few friends there, one of my best friends from work is also my ride, and lately, what we’ve been doing is going to a different place everyday. Sometimes the food’s great, sometimes it’s a bit lacking, but we try every place we can, and make the mad rush to get to work afterwards. Which is a treat in and of itself.
Because let it be known that there are fucking idiots on the road, who will drive twenty three fucking miles, with a god damned traffic cone stuck to the under carriage of their car, and it’s the funniest god damned thing in the world, like a car based unicorn with day glow viagra, it’s a god damned rarity.
Also a treat is the driver trying to constantly pass us if we’re going the speed limit and the dumb ass’s girlfriend starts taking a picture of the car? OH my fucking god, it’s… great!
Cause I flipped that dumbass off, and I’m kind of wondering what they were trying to get a picture of. But so far, so good, nothing new to report. We’re alos gaming buddies on the switch, which reminds me to snag Splatoon 2.

Working at Amazon is a bit… interesting.

Yes, I’m gonna bitch a little about Amazon, just some much needed stress relieving, that’s all. I still love you BABEH! Anyways, one fucking thing that bugs the utter shit out of me is the popping of bubble wrap. There’s piffing, and then there’s people that squeeze the fucking shit out of that stuff like there’s both crack and money inside of it.
And, I get it, I really do! Trust me, Popping bubble wrap is fucking amazing, almost like having an orgasm and it’s literally a fucking release of air. But then again, you have the asshats that stare at you WHILE they’re popping the stuff, like, really dude?
Are you trying to tell me something? Am I going to be sleeping with the fishes? Am I part of a bubble wrap based civil war and you know what’s really going on? Did the PA’s tell everyone to just stare me, right in the fucking eyes while you slowly squeezed the shit out of the poor thing, only relenting after that oh so satisfying POP? I mean really, if you want to give me a hug, go for it, just…. just don’t treat me like you do the bubble wrap every chance you get, because… well, there’s another way of ending the bubble wraps pathetic existence.
Stabbing it with the box cutter, and the piff noise is so much more depressing. Because it almost sounds like something screaming their last, and I’m thinking to myself, “OH GOD YES!” because when the bubble wrap wars start between the Poppers and the Piffers? box cutters will be the unfortunate victims of their own hubris!
And I’ve forgotten what theu tter fuck I was talking about, sorry, random booger or something, I dunno.
Working at Amazon is easy enough.
The works easy.
Pay’s amazing.
So what’s the biggy?
i’ll tell you.
The fucking Rate system they have in place, and it’s fucking ridiculous.
Okay, when I first started working there, the rate was around 319 items, and that’s reasonable, right? Because we’re there for about 8 hours normal and 10 hours if there’s MET, and 12 hours if we vote for the 4/10, which I guess is cool, but it all averages out, I’ll have to check the latest numbers, but you get the idea, right?
Anywho, so there’s a group rate and an individual rate, not saying fuck it, ers has the individual rate, and vegantarians have the group rate, and we have to hit those numbers on the daily, between 65% and 100% is the magic number, and those dailies average out the weekly, but the way the numbers are crunched is based around three different theories, but they all mean the same thing:
1. Size of the box scanned
2. Recieving V Sorting
3. Number of scans total

So using those three things, they knock out the number, and it’s not an issue. The issue is that what we receive is usually a mix throughout the day, and I’ve begun noticing a pattern, in the beginning is mostly receive, towards the middle is a 50/50, and towards the end is mostly sort.
Not to mention there’s a thing called cherry picking, which is when people only take the boxes that are good and large numbers, which fuck the rest of us over. Because from what I’ve heard, the higher ups both condemn and silently promote cherry picking at the same time depending on how it’s affecting the bottom line. Not to mention it fucks the rest of us over.
There’s an easy way to fix this, and I’ve mentioned it to the higher ups, make a group rate based on the overall Sort/Receive of an entire line, therefor eliminating the Cherry Picking situation all together, because no matter the box picked, it all goes towards the Line Rate, and everyone gets to do their thing.
There are also those that like to scan something, then talk for minutes on end, then scan something again just to keep that TOT timer from screwing them over. Whihc, hey, more power to them, but at the same time, not only does that screw their rate over, it fucking slows down the amount of work getting done. we’re there to work, not chit chat about shit that doesn’t matter. If it affects how much work you’re getting done throughout the day in a negative fashion, fucking don’t do that shit. No place for it.
because when they don’t do THEIR work, we end up having to carry their asses. And the FC’s only a year old, so the higher ups are still trying to optimize the best ways to make everything work together. Another thing that feeds into the cherry picking is the individuals strength. Because you got the following ages groups:
18 to 29 – these guys and gals kick ass all over the place, but there IS a habit of spending more time talking than working.
30 – 49 – my age bracket (I’m 34), we tend to be a bit more focused on our work, not talk so much, and knock out the majority of the things the 18 – 29 miss.
49 – 69 – they tend to talk and cherry pick because their strength ain’t what it used to be. In a way, it does make sense, but it’s still doing a thing that goes against the grain.

Anyways, I’m starting to spin my wheel just a bit, so I’ll end it on a positive note, the higher ups are always taking feedback, ideas, and other things to their higher ups, and in turn trying to figure out the best way to make those things happen.

Worker placement is also a thing, but meh, not interested in writing this anymore. Anyways, just wanted to knock something out, have a good one!

Dear Amazon

Since i’ve been working for you for almost a month now, (almost said a Moth, mua ha ha… Why is evil laughter needed!?) I’ve noticed a few things, and I’ve learned a few things:

  1. Your facilities need a way for people to see the sky when working. Hear me out, I’ve done some thinking on this one, at first I was like “Make the cieling a window into our souls!” but then I realized how fucking stupid that sounded and went with the OBVIOUSLY super better awesome of building an FC with the ceiling being covered in large screens, those screens would be connected (Hardwired of course, if you did wifi signal, it’d be easy enough for any assfuck with a whitehat training program to stream porn 24/7 and wouldn’t THAT be fucking amazong?) into a series of upwards facing cameras that would capture the transitions from night to day, giving your FC a future look that’d remind people of HARRY FUCKING POTTER!
  2. Let’s talk about Jams, those fucking things that stop work flow and piss people trying to get their rate up for whatever the fuck reason. Okay, the robosorts y’all have lining the place are fucking amazing, I feel like if you wanted to, y’all could make a prize grabber game that actually doles out the prizes. Anyways, that aside, the problem with the sorter is that it spews out products left and right, and I get that we’re supposed to be fast as fuck boi, but we’re only human, and people can only move so fast, or get distracted by yapping to their friend about the tentidildo they just scanned.
    The problem is the conveyors themselves, they just keep bringing stuff on down like an extra crazy episode of the prize is right, if y’all implemented an AI subsystem that would involve a few sensors here or there and stop at around 12 totes, wait for ten of em to be cleared before sending the next 10 down, you’d find that the sorter stops happen less frequently, and products get to their customers more.
  3. The Rate system, oh my fucking god, this one I have the biggest gripe with. I don’t mind the rate system itself, that fine. what I have a problem with is the fact that in the beginning, I’d be trying to knock out my rate, first thing in the afternoon shift, and suddenly I get waterspidered, which, hey, happy to help out where I can, but at the same time, when the rate system in UR is the determining factor of who stays and who goes, and you never know if you’re going to get waterspidered or not, it gets a bit mindbreaking trying to keep a balance on things. I get that URA’s need to break a certain package amount in order to make rate, but couldn’t the people who decide who gets waterspidered in the first place make it every other day with people they haven’t used?
    Again, all this was explained to me, and I get it, just throwing some quick questions out there. That’s all.
  4. Pre shift and post lunch group huddles need to be a bit more engaging. I get that we’ve got work to do, and I get that everyone’s going to be batshit tired after lunch, but make those huddles a bit more engaging, entertaining, and eye catching. I’m not saying hire and fire Chris Angel on the spot, but hey, that’s be one hell of a MIND FREAK. Anyways, this comes from day after day of watching and struggling to hear the peeps upfront talk about the same things and no one really pays much attention.
    I get it, they’re boring as hell to go through, but at the same time, put some damned spit shine on that sumbitch and make it sing! It’s almost heartbreaking to hear them tap on the mic a few times, beg someone to come lead stretches, and begin with a prepped announcement that reads like a GI82 crapping out graphics for World of Warcraft.
    Announcements are important, and it’s rather unfortunate that people would rather yap their heads off then pay attention to what the higher ups are talking about.
  5. The fucking Vest colors. Orange, Yellow, Neon, Green, Red, and Black. Sometimes pink. This one is a bit of a clusterfuck for those who can’t tell the difference between close, but different colors. Yellow, Neon, and Green. Did you know that there are a crap ton of clashing color combos? They’re pretty fun to mess around with, and I’m sure y’all chose the schemes you did because they offered the most visibility. Anywho, that’s all I wanted to get off my chest for now.

An actual blog! Yay?

First off, fuck you morning wood. You cantankerous bastard. Seriously, you wake up, your dick’s hard, and there’s the cat like, “FUCKING PLAY TIME BITCHES!” and before you know it, your dong’s turned into a very much attached fun time sprinkler. God help you if you have high blood pressure.

Lately, I’ve been working on these pipe cleaner men/creatures, whatever, and I’m pretty decent at making them, nothing fancy, just something to do in my spare time. My problem is when that hobby becomes  a regular thing, just it overcomes you, and you feel like you ABSOLUTELY have to do it., Why? what’s the point?
I mean, yeah, it’s something to do, keeps you anchored, and plus, you get to work on your crafting skills, (1 pipe cleaner needs twenty redstone, a skull, two coal, and dyed wool) but at the same time it’s like if you get TOO good at it, you might want to start selling them, and that’s a whole nother bag of worms right there.

Or not, because it might not be about the pipe cleaner guys themselves, and more about the time it takes to make one. and it does take quite a bit of work to make one the way I like it. True I could just take 7 pipe cleaners and knock out a basic bitch model like that, but where’s the challenge in that? If anything, I’d like to knock out something that I can be proud of, something that I can be like, Yep, I made that shit, took me a while to do, but I made it.

Because this is going to sound weird, but to me, when I make one of those little guys, to me, it’s like I’m creating life, but they aren’t TRULY “Living” until I add something, a little bead, a coin, a ring, something with some history or value, or some weight to it. Not physical weight, but metaphysical, something that attracts the energies of the universe to it. In that regard, I don’t like trying to pop out one everyday, because then, in my mind at least, it reduces the value of the creation. They become less of a unique thing, and more of a “Well, I’ve got some many orders to knock out, so I might as well mass produce these little shits” And that’s not something I want to happen.

Do you ever have something that you’re passionate about, that you love or loved to do so much that it just becomes second nature to you? Same, i love creating things, working with my hands, bending the materials to my will and watching that creation take shape, whatever it may be. I used to write books, then I started working for amazon.

Here’s the thing, writing books takes an ENORMOUS amount of focus, and daily sessions to knock out a book. Working for Amazon, and dealing with as many of the distractions I do, utterly makes that impossible to do. So, I stopped writing them. It came down to a question of “Where should I place most of my focus? What’s the most pressing thing in my life right now?” And, well, that answer for me was keeping my job. Unfortunately, that meant having to let go of the one thing I cherished beyond everything else. The ability to create, to write, to make stories.

So, these pipe cleaner men, these “Liory” are my way of continuing to create stories. Stories only I will know how to truly read, because each one is unique, each one has immense value to me, and from my very soul, I brought them into the world. Seems kind cheesy when you put it that way, but you know what?
I’m a cheesy kind of guy! 😀 I need a book shelf or something to put these little guys on. Hanging on my lap is fun and all, but I need to find a way to display them better.

At the end of the day?

We all get the fuck out of there as fast as possible, love Amazon to death, really do, but there’s only so many boxes, yellow, grey, and white color schemes, and listening to submarine like sirens blaring before you start thinking about those final three minutes of the night.

I need to blog about work more, and I will. Also, dating coworkers is a big fuck nah. I don’t want to chance, are there gals there that catch my eye? Of course, will I personally persue them? Nope. Look, I get it, love is in the air, and when you’re spending nearly 40 to 50 hours in a warehouse with people, connections are made, bonds created.

There’s a reason dating coworkers is a cautionary tale, cause if you date someone a bit higher up above you, and things don’t work out? That’s a big fucking spot that can potentially screw you over long term.

But, at the same time, if things do work out? Much love to you both, I hope things work out for yall. Myself? I dunno, the future is like water, it can exist in all four states, solid, liquid, gas, and plasma. It is ever changing, and sometime,aybe, my stance will change.

It’s a pretty competitive environment, but it’s all to improve your work flow, I’m already two times faster than I was when I first started, so evolution.

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