I was thinking about the grand scope of the universe and why it was the squirrels get the best stick in life, like an ACTUAL fucking stick, I mean, if it were an actual FUCKING STICK that’d be questionable, because then you’d see sweet old ladies screaming for their lives with bags of broken crackers, all the while a fuck ton of squirrels with oddly bloody twigs would be chasing her, and you KNOW shit’s about to go down when you see that kind of bullshit happen.

I once saw an octopus. No reason really, it was just there, and I was having the time of my life just looking at this fucking thing, and I was like, “Hey, octopus.” And the thing did say a word, because it has an ass mouth. That’s right, you heard, Octopi have ass mouths, they can be masters of talking shit, because of their ass mouths, and there’s nothing you or I can really do about it.

There’s such a thing as redundant torture, where you do something utterly inane to someone else over a large or short period of time, and they’ll finally be all, “Hey, what the fuck.” All calm like, but you know deep down they’re sad.
Or… something, I don’t fucking know.

Maybe we’re all just in a simulation and the robots are the real players here, because that’d be absolutely amazing, if ready player one wasn’t about the time space-continuum because a vacation inditing the mass roach riot of 20:14 military time, because I like fucking with people’s perception of things every now and then. It’s just a thing I do, you know how I know? Because you aren’t me, and even if you were, I’d still be the one writing this fucking thing, so you can’t stop me no matter who you are!
Yes, I ripped that from Ace venture, which is honestly my favorite movie of all time.

I don’t wonder why time traveling eggs don’t time travel, they’d be too chicken by the end of it. Ha.

Dumb jokes for smart people include:
1. My dating life.
My hair line.
The fact I more famous than a regular potato.
Every knows a regular potota. Or potato.
Fuck pototas. They’ve done nothing for humanity.

Those assholes.
This blog was brought to you by the overwhelming need to fuck around on the interenet and write some weird bullshit that’ll make you question if I’m high or not.
I am 6″5 or six foot five inches. Why does my jaw feel like a peice of toast ready to pop the fuck out of a toaster? Oh yeah, gravity. I keep forgetting that’s a thing.
Kinda like Brangolina. Or Bracheal.
Or Bennigan’s.

Well, let’s do this!

I’ve been through a thing or two, because I’ve seen a thing or two, and I’m not sure at what point those things or two can get fucking bored of this joke, also it takes me five or so minutes to get settled in when I’m getting ready to write a post, so I’m thinking, GREAT… another word I’ve misspelled. I always have trouble with spelling certain words correctly, it’s craaaazy.

Want to know what else is crazy? The fact that I’ve not written in this thing for so long. I’ve got some hard truth’s to nub out, but I’m not going to focus on them, because I’ve only 4.5 hours of sleep, and people keep slamming into my room to try and distract me from what I’m doing, which is now a thing I have to deal with.

I’ve been busy with writing, with game making, with a bunch of crap that I’m easily distracted by or I just feel like I needed to switch gears on. Oh, right, about 5 weeks ago I tried to hang myself in the garage, and now my folks are trying to crush the story so that way people don’t get freaked out by that fact.

Anyways, floating around is tweet thread about the whole thing, so if I remember about it, I’ll link it at the bottom of this post. Writing… Well, let’s get to that thing very quickly, lately, I’ve been using a writing engine called twinery 2, a kind of branching writing program that’s fucking simple to use, and you don’t need any prior experience to use it.

I’m using it because I love writing books and I love writing expansive stories that are amazing.

What I don’t love are people trying to tell me how to use the program, because that’s when I try to cram as much stuff in it, they either lose interest in what I do, or I just lose interest in that particular thing for a time. But that’s neither here nor there, again, I’ll put a link in the description below.

Those who’ve been following my blog for years, know that I have a passion for creating things, and my latest endeavor in RPG Maker MV, is a triumph in it’s own right. I LOVE making things, it’s what I’m good at, even if the results are a bit shoddy, I know this because I always put 9,000,000% into whatever I’m working on at the moment, and always try to make it the best thing I can.

This current project I’m working on, “Project 1” is the working title, is no different. It still has the same basic premise as my other works, with Darkness and Light being a married couple who need to be extra fucking kinky in bed. So their idea of foreplay is to send newly created souls on adventures and live vicariously through them, because they aren’t so much as people as they are the physical manifestations of the very concepts of Light and Darkness, and who the fuck are we to think they have genitals. Who knows? Maybe their idea of shitting and pissing is summoning the Old Eldritch gods to consume and kill virgins in the upper northern tip of West Virginia, we’ll never know, because that’s just way too meta-physical, and we’ll never know the truth of WHY THEY CHOOSE TO CARRY PIZZA ON THE SIDE INSTEAD OF FLAT WAYS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE, YOU LOUSY SHITS!

Anyways, I…  I think I channeled my inner John Oliver there, weird. So, this time around, instead of smacking together four random characters and flinging them to the wilds, you’re instead playing as a ghost who takes over the bodies of six characters, in one case, you’ll be switching between creepy twins, no reason, just a gameplay mechanic, and seeing the world through their eyes. The interesting part about this, is you’re told right off the bat “that you’re nothing more than a sex toy to the couple, now go out there and start adventuring you freshly baked fuckboi!” In essence, dear god folks, I put a bit more work into it than that, lol.

So, because I’m so interested in branching paths and separate but connected storytelling, there are three paths to take, Light, Neutral, Darkness, and each has five to six paths, making it 15 to 18 possible adventures, including one where you just wander around a library, and due to some interesting flaws in the editor and my own laziness to go any deeper than I have to, get repeatedly yelled at for climbing on the bookshelf in increasingly more hilarious ways.

Not to mention I might make a fourth path with an actual story behind it,  well, the whole thing will have an overarching story behind it, I just don’t like to pigeonhole myself into specifics or else I’ll just end up getting bored with it trying to find tune the shit out of everything OVER AND OVER AND OVER again,

On top of that, I’ve got two different Discord servers I’m running, which I need to transfer ownership over to myself, so that way I can really get things kicked off. A fresh start so to speak, though I really do have having to delete anything, though I’ve already have a few other things on my plate already.

Hrm… what else? Not much… Anyways, have a good one!

Link to the tweet thread about my suicide attempt:

Link to my Philome.la page:


sonfoabitchicantsleepwhatthefuckswrongwithmethisthinghasnoperiods!!!! im too hyper need to vent, need to do something need to go nuts and write something complettly random and inconsiderate… how about vals a prick and no onel ikes him? nah thats something everything will not agree with, told you i cant sleep got a lot of energy in me what the fuck is wrong with me, why dont i just jackoff and hope for the best, well i could do that but then i would probly pass out with the strain of all the sperm going out of my sytem. wow, that was more graphic then you needed huh? well lets get this over with shall we?

first thing thats on my mind is the fact that i havent been talking with …with… that one gal that i was crushing on then stoped for some reason… weird about that thing aint it. acutally thats been on my mind for a couple of days now.

maybe its just me being me, but i wouldve thought that after forming a stupid patern i wouldve gotten stuck in it with christina, but i guess i kinda mellowed myself out there a good long time. chistina, how i think i fell for you during the time that i did, but i told you my feelings and you kindly rejected them, and then i got it in my thick head that your just going to be a friend, that was cool with me. i dunno, maybe i was just tired of the whole rigamarole, where i feel for the asb president and then i went on this long stupid rant about oh i how i would part the heavens or someother crazy crap something about greek god of love or something. i dont really remember. but then ianother stupid thought came to mind, it was just a thought mind you so theres not really any intent behind it.

i kinda…well totaly entertained the daydream of that day in the asb office where i told her that i loved her… this was beforei met caasi so there is no real harm in writing about htis. plus im going to anyways. whether i like it or not. love you muuuuch caasi! anyways, i was in the asb office and i asked her if i could kiss her and she said yes. which lead to wierdly enough a sex fantasy in the office. which mightve been really weird slash awesome had it actually happened. because i know that it might never happen, maybe it would im just getting all worked up over nothing. maybe its just the energy coursing through my viens at the moment.

but in anycase… wow im just writing about this one thing arnt i? and i keep mispelling words! YAY MOTHERFUCKERS! nope didnt mispell that word. anyways, i think there was a point in my mind at the day where i truly did want to just kiss christina on the lips, but im kinda glad i didnt, and i am very happy to report that i am happy that it didnt happen or else i never wouldve met my love. lol. wow, im getting nervous over confessing something in a blog? congratu fucking lations people. your witnessing the birth of something thats nervous from the get go, a tiny nervous thing that likes coffee.

a poodle? gaurd dog? bull? redbull! i like redbull. i think it kinda tastes like medicine and thats cool with me. anything that tastes like the backwards part of a perverted docs medicine cabinet suits me just fine. aberforth dumbledoor, dumbells and broomhicks. hickeys! vampires! zombies! spitting out any random thing that pops into my mind and hoping thatll make sense and connect with the other stuff before the freedom train makes a stop at kfc to put a… breath you magnificent bastard you!

enough with the bad jokes, its like i cant stop writing and this is the prize! more writing! i think that its just nervous stimuli from the brain coersing my fingers to type whatever my mind thinking at the moment. like hot midget anal sex toys that make disnet land look like a carnival of carnage. wow… aint that pretty to imagine. a bunch of short short people with hotpants getting it on with a plastic pickle attached to the business end of a screwdriver set on “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT DOING IN THERE!!!?” yes my mind is completly fucked up at the moment. maybe ill just run out of things to right, fall asleep while jacking off to my lady loves image and hope for the best damned orgasm and man can hope for. and to quote a old favorite of mine.

“one of these days alice, bang zoom! straight to the moon!’ and thats in relation to how hard i freaking ejaculate. you people really should be reading something else at this point in time. because if youve stuck with me through this far into the blog, youve either got a strong stomach for weird crap or your just bred as hell. even as im writing this i can feel the demons in my heart and mind laughing the shiny spiky little tails off wondering what the fuck is going on with my head at the mometn.

well i can tell you this much folks, a lot of weird crazy crap. did you know that there are blogging siteso ut there with a limit to what you can put in your blogs? its just fucking insane, like a chinese blogging site, the amount of matter that can be seen like porn is just not there. youknow, that would actually be kinda interesting to see a pornstars blog, just once idl ike there to be news that some girls going to be doing a guys with a huge dong and its oging all the way in and shes complaining buts the stiching from the last guy hasnt really healed up yet. this is real stuff folks, really really reall stuff. i wantched a documentary on the lives of porn stars called, goin down in the valley. mightve been more interesting had they actualy sown something.

then theres the fact that ive had to make a third youtube channel. yep this is the stuff of dreams right here folks. youtube, sex dreams, jerking off, midgets, making fun of vals job, my love life, past loves and really disturbing stuff, like seeing a fat person in a string bikini with really really bad back hair. and jumping up and down. yes that would be the hairy fat lady that doesnt have a goatee burning from up her vagina….. and im spent… not in that way you sick person you. god i hope i didnt write anything embarrassing in here…. well, now to post the thing and hope for the best.

later! love you caasi! cant wait to see you again!

myspace, google virus, biden/palin, obama mccain, and whatever.

im sorry darling, but theres only so much plastic surgery you can do to that vagina of yours. and whatever you do, dont add fake eyes.

man oh man! welcome to enigmatts rants, im enigmatt and the little girl winking at the camera will tell you that she sees russia from her tea house. of course it relies mostle on the hubbles inability to see galaxys upclose with out raping the national budget. whyed we put a man on the moon for? golkf? why dont i beleive that? oh yeah, lol… its because every time bush opens his mouth, obama and mccain argue over stupid crap that would make lisa marree cry in her sleep while micheal jackson banged the cub scouts of america. jesus jiuce anyone?

so by this point youve got to be asking yourself this one extremely important question… because the world of polotics is just too fucking funy for eddie murphy to get it on with baby doll t shirts whil masterbating to doogey housers l’life on the road’.  “WHERE HAVE ALL THE COOKIES GONE?” yes thats right folks, for every ten dollars you give to me, ill not only not give it to charity, but ill spend it on porn.

myspace…this really chaps my ass, because i usually do these things on myspace and not word press. but ever since the google virus hit, and if you dont know what that s, then your more clueless then a half sober lionel richie beating the crap out of a metal pipe with his head. the google virus is a pain in myspaces butt. not only because it just turns your ass over to google, but it also messes up you hard drive like a little bitch. the fact that millions of teens everywhere are going to have fits of rage  with wich the likes preschool teachers have never seen before because of this, is more then enough reason to just let them try to login. lol. mua ha ha… evil i am.

the vice presidential debates were more interesting to watch then a more brutal version of the three stogges marathon. ony because i was completely expecting palin to just fuck the whole thing up with her saying of “dont ya know?” “you betcha!” “i have respect for your argument” heres something i never really expected to happen though. in the last half of the debate, it went from two people intelligently attacking each other jugulars to..well… two slightly less intelligent people attacking each others jugulars. like we really needed another reminder of how fucked up they made indiana jones. they just raped his ass, over and over and over and over again.  ALIENS DONT BELONG IN INDIANA JONES DAMNINt!!!!!!!

speaking of which, the presidential debates were a little less entertaining to watch then a bad porno being shot with crack heads shanking eah other in the pussys with rabid weasels. yeah… it was that bad. all in all the more hilerous versions were on cnn. that little line was just the most entertaining part of the whole thing. mccain spoke, line go down, obama speak, line go up! LOL! folks i hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but doesnt anybody NOT pay attention to the incredibly inept ranking of the stock market? or do we just like seeing marketeers run around screaming things like “OH MY FUCKING GOD WERE ALL GONNA DIE LIKE A BAD MOVIE REMAKE OF SOMETHING MORE HORRENDOUS THEN SEEING JOAN RIVERS ON TV!!!!!!” and that my friends is a fate wosre then death. because joan rivers will eat your childrens feet, then make them dance forever in a pit of broken glass made of discarded botox syringes.

to really see the horror of the new google virus, you have to get inside steve irwins head, then promptly run out screaming something the lines of ” FUCK THIS SHIT! IM WATCHING JOEY!” because folks, the inside of steve irwins head is nothing more then beastiality tapes, with him screwing a gecko and being the bitch in the relationship. in fact, i think i can hear him doing his chihuahua. i was asleep last night and amidst the fainting music that constantly complimented the rabid monkey balls, that constantly hammered away at the cheese bunkers mineral deposits. i was whisked away to a magical place where  the only punishment in the world was getting sodomized by a blue whales dick in the ear. and most people dont live through something like that.

i found out that while perusing the dick cheney esque friend shooting videos, that humans as a whole are nothing more then god fearing idiots with rifles in our hands, waiting to be shot in the head by the god fearing idiot with a rifle in his hands, who happened to be standing right next to us telling us that his problem was firing the damned thing. like we really needed help figuring that out. there were far more sinister problems in the road to recovery, and im going to rant about that next. the road to fucking recovery. because she is hot and i would fuck her in the ass with the head of a baseball bat.

the raod to revorey in the econic crisis isnt merly something that the national debt wont decrease or reverse with. in fact, the national debt is a jewish reminder that we fucked over the britains when we declared ourselves tax exempt from there tea smacking ways, and formed our own little crackden in the world. the road to revery is merely a stepping stone to a world where black and whites and asian and arabs can get together for a nice game of “who the fuck killed the president this time?” because as we all know, bush needs to be attacked in the head with a five foot dildo and called a stupid mother fucker for getting a movie made about him and dick cheney having lunch together. can you fucking imagine that? bush and cheney eating lunch? I CANT BELEIVE THEY EAT LUNCH!!!!!!!

IF ANYTHING I COULDNT IMAGINE ANYONE with more gall or idiosy making a movie about one of the worst presidents in the united states. nay mr. bush, not only the states, the fucking world. because life itself cant be explained when youve got your head in other countrys asses. and maybe thats just what this country needs, another head to ass president who thinks he knows what the flying fuck hes doing. of course this can only be alleviated by the fact that more shows from the sixties are getting a face lift that would have mellissa richars screaming in fits of rage as well as physical shame. im sorry darling, but theres only so much plastic surgery you can do to that vagina of yours. and whatever you do, dont add fake eyes.

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