Welcome to 2020, I’m your host, Dan Rather!

I talk about things, work, friends, projects, that kind of thing. Your kind of thing!

Holy shit, if he does NOT make that joke, I’m going to be so pissed.
So, how was your New years? Like mine, uneventful, kinda like the rest of the holidays, but I do have some slight changes to the usual programming. Annnnd that’s right… I keep forgetting that I have this thing, and rather than use  this  platform ot vent my various complaints and or treasures, I choose to instead post pointlessly bad videos and tweets that go unnoticed for a while and now I’m sad.
But, not anymore, thanks to the power of Arabian fucking coffee.
It’s gon’ be like that today.
Anyways, I’ve been working my as off at amazon and aside from the ride situation changing for the better, apparrently, I now have a group I hang out with, well, I’ve got several groups I hang out with, but one more consistantly than the others. The weird thingis, I dunno how it all, oh wait- Yes, yes I do.
Think it might’ve been during that wonky period of time where I’m just extra flirty or something, happens every once in a while. But I just told this one gal, V, that I didn’t know what it was about her, but I liked her. And it’s true. There’s something about her I can’t put my finger on, but it’s there.
Anyways, I think I met her friend, A, first, and we had a quick conversation about something or other, then after shift, I talked her V, and then after that I introduced myself to I.
Weird thing is, thanks to I’s  wanting to hang out after shift, I now have a group of peeps That I hang out with after shift. Which is refreshing, but at the same time a bit worrying. Now, don’t get me wrong, these women are fucking amazing, and I’m really thankful I’m friends with them.
Just old paranoias and what not.
The reason I flit from group to group has something to do with a fear of rejection if interest in a gal is expressed, and then it just becomes slightly awkward, so I subconsciously fade away for a few weeks to let things cool day and act as if it’s just normal.
It’s the built up anxiety of repeated rejections and the knowledge and slight annoyance that that’s just going to be a part of things. And I really love working for Amazon.
But it really is a small town unto itself, so there is lies the problem, or, I don’t think it’s a problem, just something I’m slowly but surely pushing through.
2020 is going to be a new year, I’m no longer attached to Ashley, though the memories are bittersweet, they are slowly fading into the hazy fog that is the past.
Though I don’t believe I’m ready for dating, my subconscious has other ideas, and I’ve been noticing slight changes in my behaviour that supports that theory.
At the same time, I really do need to have some kind of social life, so if hanging out with friends after work is the way to do that, who am I to complain?
Besides, love is love, though it might be unreliable, love always finds a way. And just like every Jurassic Park movie, love is the T-Rex that will fuck yo sadness up in terrifying and hilarious ways.
Well, might as well dive into this. Or not, I’m still trying to sort everything out myself, but I think my problem is I over think things, and sometimes, I just need to dive into the deep end, and say “Fuck logic, I will enjoy mustard and toast at the same time!” Or maybe that’s my subconscious way of trying to deflect from the realization I might just have feelings for someone, and I’m slowly ramping up to asking them out.
The weird part is that it won’t be over a dating app. Which is just a fucking thing of its own.

That aside, I’ve started working on weird little pipe cleaner figures I like to call Piplaeners, why? Well… I don’t know why, but there awesome, and I’m slowly world building with every one that I create. Let’s see if I can pull a few up.80831662_471927350176422_7036172946527748096_n80900903_834241123681085_7729425855453069312_n80811702_2546410082263326_6814933365725069312_n80697408_3717571861618355_8067890323717619712_n80272528_590025335152853_5579368598624796672_n80357608_2566402456747613_7203153398026207232_n

I really like making these. They honestly don’t take that long to make and I’ve gotten down to a science, but so far, I’ve got the Golden King, The Red Queen, the Cursed Prince, the Queens Guard, and Dequadra.
Haven’t figured that one out yet. And it’s my newest work too! I’m also working on a massive one and I’m still planning out, and with every Piplaener made, I discover new ways of making them sturdier, I might actually have something going here!
Kind of exciting when you think about it!

Youtube’s still a thing, and I’ve now got a podcast going, which, I should really get cracking on the next episode, god I’m so bad at procrastinating…

Fuck, it’s been a while since I’ve written a proper blog…

Although, what the hell is a proper blog post? Is it a collection of like minded thoughts?
Because, you know, if that’s the case, than I am properly fucked. I don’t think I’ve ever had a series of like minded thoughts, just a bunch of confused bullshit that people are like, “HA! Shweet.”
And you know what? I’m fine with that. I’m fine with being in a world in which my channel flippy brain gets confuzzled halfway through a thought and decides that buttercream screaming butterflies are the perfect valentines day gift, for the person you REALLY fucking hate.
And, you know, I’m not blind to my underuse of exclamation points, really!

Today I want to talk about love. And Workplaces.
And amazon.
And the holy shit storm of why either their a good thing or a bad thing, or maybe I’ll just continually switch topics, because I’m a rebellious bastard and you love me for that.
“Today, we’re talking puppies and the monster trucks who love them. Way too much.”
Yeah, so strap in for some enlightened as fuck shit, because this god damned thing is filled to the brim with swearing and clown beastiality referees. I meant to write that.

Yesterday, we got put in 5S, and me being me, I began to draw, something I do to pass the time. One of my friends then asked me a bunch of questions, some personal, others not, most I can’t remember, but she was cool.
Then my other friend, Karen, Who I think might have a crush on me? I don’t like to assume anything anymore, I just leave it up to the winds of chance and whatever seems to be going on that day to figure shit out, also talked to me about my drawing, and we got to talking for a while, and it was a pretty good conversation, filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, and you fucking hate the fact I’m not giving you the deets!
Well, I can’t remember the deets, so we’re pretty much in the same boat here.

Anyways, i leave to go to the bathroom, come back, and I get snagged into Water Spidering, which is indirect work, but still critical, for Prep… And for about 40% I would say, I knocked things out of the park, I kept tote lines going, swept, moved pallets and cages, just in general, was an amazing beast of burden. Or unburdening, that’s like an Anti-Donkeh, right?

There was this one woman, really tiny, like, ridiculously small, looks almost like a kid, but she isn’t. She doesn’t talk much, but she’s got an amazing smile, which, hey, bonus points for getting her to smile! Anyways, she’s a sweet person, much luck to her in whatever she chooses to do in life.

Meanwhile, i’m apartment hunting, I’ve got my eyes set on a place or two, as well as the bedding needed to make sure I conserve as much space as possible, and was kind of blown away by the fact there’s a triple bunk bed, like, holy shit people! A triple bunk bed! that’s like witnessing a majestic Unicorn horn fuck a leperchaun right through the face, while the little fuckers barfing gold bars! I mean, yeah, it’s a bunk bed, but a fucking triple!?

Jesus fucking christ.

Oh, I also made my first communion.
Every once in a while I’ll still upload a video or two, but I haven’t been as interested in it. Growing my channel has become annoying as fuck, and I just decided, fuck it, not going to bother. I are there people who’ll enjoy my stuff? Maybe, I’ll never know.. I get just a bit depressed thinking about it, too many trolls, or algorithms or whatever, or maybe I just upload bad content, fuck if I know or care anymore. While there are peeps out there, my hearts just not in it anymore. That’s the long and short of it now a days. My hearts not in making vids anymore, and it’s not making me any money, so why should I bother?

Yeah, there was for the enjoyment of it, but constant criticism about the whole thing has whittled away at my enthusiasm for it, and until I get my own place, I don’t think I’ll be able to really get back into it. Things change over time, needs change,

YouTuber Parents aren’t all complete dicks.

This former channel, Fantastic Adventures, is a haven of fucked up bullshit.
Let me repeat, Fantastic Adventures is fucked up.
the content is manufactured.
The kids were forced to take part.
And if they didn’t?
They’d be fucking abused.
Now, it seems like every time YouTuber Parents are mentioned, it’s always going to be some kind of monstrous fucking act. Some kind of emotional dick punch, like society is telling us that all YouTuber Parents are complete dicks.
They aren’t, it’s fucked up what’s happening.
Not to mention that the kids weren’t even hers.
Like, seriously, what the fuck is going on?
Hold on, need to reread the article to get properly pissed, believe it or not, there’s still a bit ofgas in the engine from this mornings writing storm.
Hackneye, hackney, whatever the fuck that dumbasses name is, is just another in a long line of asshole parents exploiting their kids for YouTube fame in the ENTIRELY WRONG WAY.
Look, I’m not a parent, and I’m not here to judge, but when I have kids, you can bet your ass I’m going to post vids of them doing their thing, NATURALLY, not show them off like a circus attraction and punish em for not remembering to do a certain thing, I mean what the fuck is this crazy ass bullshit!?

I really am not lying.
Look, I get it, there are dance moms who scream and bitch at their kids for not doing the right thing, and then there are abusive fucks that have the self entitled right to fuck their kids up if they ain’t on the same page.
IT ain’t right, and The moment there’s suspect behavior, which often goes unnoticed for too long,  or too late, that channel should be taken down, that parent should lose their kids, and they should be behind bars.
End of sentence.
I could’ve just said period, but you know what?
Tazed, pinched, pepper sprayed between the legs, locked in the closet for days without food or water? Ice baths?
All for forgetting lines or not wanting to take part in the videos?
What’s her defense going to be?
”I done did it fer the lulz!”
Nah, she’s guilty as fuck, ain’t no way in fucking hell she getting off easy.
The utter FUCK is going on with that chick?
There’s a difference between forcing your own failed dreams onto your kids and letting them explore their natural talents in their own ways, and clearly Hackney fucking forgot the first rule of parenting, never to do that kind of shit that leaves a psychological scar on their kids for the rest of lives.
These are fucking children, not some high grossing actors, you fucking bitch, that was aimed at Hackney, which I know, I know, blah blah blah.

Still the fact remains, first was the precursor Daddyofive, and that asshole was taken the fuck apart.
People obviously thought that shit had calmed down enough to the point where they thought this shit was okay, and one dumb ass brave soul wanted to leap on the abusive YouTube Parent with the flying grace of a thousand fucks not given and…. Well, this happened.
Like, really?

Is this where we are now?
Where the level of crazy needs to be such that you’re hurting kids in order to get some attention?
Thank god YouTube shut that shit down.
We don’t need anymore crazy.
Lemme repeat:
Not all Parent’s with YouTube channels are abusive assholes.
There needs to be a system in place, and it’s a fucking easy as shit one:
Reward those kids that take part after helping out with the video.
If they don’t, they don’t get rewarded, therefore, it reinforces the idea that doing videos leads to goodies.

Don’t fucking abuse the little guys and gals because they don’t feel like hamming it up for the camera that particular day.
Seriously, Hackney is better off, far, far away  from any child. Even her own.

An Open Letter to YouYube.

Dear YouTube, hi. How are ya? I’m fine, more importantly….

Image result for Youtube broken

What the fuck took you so god damned long to figure out that Logan Paul is an atrocious shit bag? Did you not see the warning signs that he was becoming more and more unhinged? Did you think that, “Oh, derp, he’ll get back in line!” Look, ya dumb asses, every time Disney let’s go of one of its stars, they go through a bat shit crazy period and then finally fucking calm the shit down.

I get that you’re probably sitting on your thumbs as Advertisers break off the little money orgy you had going on, but at the end of the day, you just need to silence the adfessive mother fuckers once and for all. Hitting their wallet? Yeah, that helps, but really? You just need to shut their fucking channels down, like, delete and IP ban them, show other SmallTubers that you actually care!

Look, at this point, your Algorithm’s a teenager, looking to post all the dark, gritty, offensive BS that it can and seeing just how far they can push it till you have to take the reigns, and for a while, it got away with a bunch of weird BS. The Limit was the Suicide forest and then you waited until Logan tazed a dead animal, and even then, it wasn’t until after Peta got involved that you really did anything.

You really need to stop prioritizing the Creators based on how much money they make you and start focusing on the content that they post, and yeah, the 4,000 hours watch time for those SmallTubers, like myself who’ve worked their asses off trying to hit, but for some reason, our subs just subscribe to us because we’re a meme to them or something else.

At this point, I know for a fact there are smarter people out there with the facts and figures and numbers,  but for the life of me, can you tell me in your own words just what is going on with trying to curb stomp the crap out of crap content makers like Logan Paul whose content poses a very real threat to the community? It’s influences like him, and those who subscribe to the shock value of things, that make it hard for guys and gals like myself still trying to maintain our ability to make money off of your site?

Because I guarantee you, that if you continually make it harder for us SmallTubers to make it big on your site, we’ll probably just end up going somewhere else… Like Facebook… Ugh.


Morgan James Does Games

I’m not focused.

I’ll have a thought, and poof! It’ll be gone! I used to be this way a lot more, but that was when I was drinking redbull, which I am right now! Just a shit ton of the stuff! I don’t care if this gets hits or not, most of my stuff doesn’t anyways, but hey! That’s the beauty of blogging anyone can write a bunch of stuff, and if it gets known!
Fuck yeah!
Just fuck yeah! and the struggle kind of continues!

Lately I’ve been doing a shit ton of streaming on Liveme, and it’s pretty fun, starting to grow a regular fan base, running out of ideas though. but it’s just really strange,, as there are a bunch of weird people on there, and it kind of freaks me out just a bit. But hey, anything to grab those diamonds, BTW if  you grab four million something odd of them, you get 20K for all your hard work, but you can only withdraw 600 a day, which, granted, is fair, but at the same time, you have to fucking grind every single day of every single hour, and it can get exhausting! I mean, I only do it for a few hours, but there are peeps out there that just get that shit done like no tomorrow! and yeah, my minds a bit scattered among the fucking hundreds of different projects I have to complete, but eventually, I’ll get them done! and published!

And then I can get them into the “DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT” folder that I have set up, because there is a bunch of it and I am just frustrated as all hell with the whole writing thing. And the discord thing, about ready to just delete the server and move on from it, but people love it, and if they’re inactive, great, fine, dandy, I’m not going to spend valuable time trying to keep together something that keeps breaking worse and worse, can’t really trust the mods not to fuck things over. But I guess everyone just joined as a joke and when shit just went wrong repeatedly, fewer and fewer of them came back. Which, you know, is fine, it was a thing I enjoyed doing, and now…
Not so much. I guess it really depends on what’s on my mind over time. If it get’s to be too much, I can always just hand it over and be like, “Bro, done with this bullshit.” Because I kind of am, it’s lost it’s luster for me, and I always need to have something in front of me that interests me or else I just plain as hell get bored with it. Are there groups of people that’d like t’see that thing get deleted, they’re sure are! Will I just let the thing float there like a bloated corpse? Meh, why not. If people join, they join, and I’m a bit over trying to maintain it myself.

But people love it, so who am I to try and screw up their happiness. I’ve actually made so many friends from it, but at the same time, it’s just a chillaxed server, really is. I get lonely at times, and than I start bitching about things that I’m either ticked at or have no use for anymore. but that’s just how it goes, day after day. Did you know that I got 30 bucks for helping my mom out at her second to last day? Seriously, 30! Woot! that’s more money  than I’ve made doing youtube for 12 fucking years! And now i’m trying my hand at live streaming?

I’m already up to 45K likes, but the real challenge is getting them diamonds, that’s where the hell it’s at! but there’s so much micromanaging of the small details! Dear god! you’ve got to keep track of a lot of bullshit for a long time and mimic what others are doing! but I am making a name for myself, which is… Great I suppose, all i have to do is keep my nose to the grind stone and burn that fucking data! that’s great if I had a fucking job that payed regularly, but for the most part, I just make pennies on the dollar and i can’t even get game play footage anymore because I fucking gave my second ps3 away like a fucking dumb ass! Because you want to know what’s a great idea to follow through on!? Every single fucking thing I’ve ever done in my fucking god damned life because what the fuck!? What the fuck!? Seriously, I’m asking you!

But than again, no one’s going to leave a comment because who the fuck cares about answering some basic fucking questions on a blog? Seriously, if people do answer, it’s usually some ass twat making a smart ass comment or bringing up the fucking past or anything like that! I’m just sick and tired of being treated like a fucking curiosity, like, “Oh, look Martha, there’s a monkey flinging poo!”
“Yes Reginold, how quaint!”

Are you fucking kidding me!? I feel like every time I get two steps ahead, some fucking dumb ass harasses me about Kimberlee ann Kelly! And I really don’t want to talk about her! I don’t! I’ve written all I could from every angle about the woman, and that name haunts me to no end!

The Curse of Kim decides and deems that I’m not ready for even the stupidest of interactions because some ass twat on the net has fucked me over. When did I get so fucking ridiculous!? Did I really think this fucking plan of mine was going to work out!? Did i!?

god fucking damn it I’m so pissed about a bunch of things that don’t make any sense, and for the first time in a long time, I’m venting my frustrations because I can barely hold a fucking thought of action for long enough time before fucking off, and hoping to god someone else holds my fucking hand, because what the fucking hell else am i going to do with my fucking time!?

I could go insane, yeah, that’d work wonders, and prove my grandparents right about their intonation that I need to be S.E.D. from the age of fucking FIVE YEARS OLD BECAUSE I WAS TALKING LIKE THE OTHER KIDS MY FUCKING AGE! God fucking damn it! I’m raging right the fuck now because my life is an eternally revolving door of fucking bad luck! Whoopi!

Um…. What was I talking about again? I forget… today I had some pizza and walked home, so it was a pretty great day!

I feel invisible…

I can’t seem to tell if it’s just the way I’m aging, or if I’m actually kinda losing my mind. I’m staring a cup of coffee, black, no creamer, and I’m instantly snapped to focus on something else. As if the urge is telling me that I’m out of focus, out of energy, that I need to get back to the basics of who I was before the internet came along and shrouded me in the never ending parade of stupidity, videos, and various little obsessions that never amount to much more than a bad headache and lost time.

I can’t really put a finger on it, or maybe I can. I’m trying to search for something, anything to write about that isn’t main stream, that makes me invisible for the time being. Almost like I’m forgetting something. Something near and dear to me, something that’s always at the edge of of my thoughts, just past where the light of creativity touches, something forbidden. I don’t know what that is though, like a writers block almost? you know that feeling where you take a hard look at your life in the moment, and you think, just where the fuck am I right now?

I’m at that point, and whether I like it or not, I have a following, a slightly small one, but a following none the less.
Maybe I’m just too serious?
Too ridiculous?
Too… Me?
But I look at the posts I’ve made in the past, and wonder at what I was aiming for when I wrote those. And half the time, I’m too terrified to go through them to edit, because maybe I already know what’s lurking in the darkness of my memory of that time? An indirect trauma, a lashing of forgotten nightmares, so pent up inside a few trigger words that I might scream for help for nothing more than a few digitized words?

I don’t know if I’m being overtly dramatic or what not, but that’s honestly the way I feel when I look at a blank post, a clean slate for that precious few minutes wherein the only thing I need to worry about isn’t making a video, or starting a live stream, or even dealing with the dramas and annoyances of the discord server. It’s just a visceral feeling, like your mind finally feeling free, released, relaxed and in its own way, creative at long last.

It’s a kind of zen in a way, a way to unwind, letting your thoughts melt away into the ridiculous depths of your own psychosis, your own psychological instability directing the way you travel. Eventually you’ll get to the heart of the matte,r and no matter how much you trumpet your intentions, there’s always one thing or another to deal with. I don’t mean to be vague, but the fog of my mind will eventually clear up and we’ll get to the heart of the matter rather quicker.
I guess I’ve always been this way, meandering thoughts, loosely connected by little tidbits here and there of faceted reality that might not otherwise be known to the outside observer. But wander away we must. Not that I’m trying to figure out a deep meaningful story, or waste your time. I’m just traveling my own path, and if for some reason you seem to be aligned with me, for whatever length of time, then I guess we’ll be travelling together.

I don’t usually get into the habit of deep intellectualism, or intelligent discourse, or something more than the garden variety idiocy that I’ve come to accept as part of of my everyday life. I just like writing, the way the click of the keyboard matches up in an awkward way with the music eventually. I know that I’m going to run out of things to talk about, or write about, or I might simply get distracted yet again.
It’s a worrisome habit of mine. And I do rather like taking the scenic route to reach the heart of the matter. But I like it, there’s no rush, no demand on my time, nothing of the sort. In fact, regarding the discord and Youtube and twitter weirdness, the fervor of the fan bases, the dumbed down regency of the varying users that tend to try and make my life a living hell… You don’t notice it here, on this blank slate of a blog post, you are truly in your own head.
Truly without a companion in the writing sense, and yet, sometime in the future, after I’ve posted and forgotten about this, a random person will read this, and I won’t even get a chance to thank them. But such is the way of things, and such as they will forever remain.

I don’t get many commenters on my posts, never have. I don’t know why that is, I guess I’ve always been a bit bad at getting a following going, despite what the numbers say on twitter, or vine, or live.me, or Youtube, audience interaction is always low. I don’t really have access to engaging topics, or even entertaining stuff. I just have to make do with my own quick witted mind and hope that’s enough…

In the end, I am alone, on my own. And while it does on occasion depress me, I never that I’ve got friends that are just a phone call away, or even fans that I can tweet at for a quick conversation. Although they only want a fan sign, or a video, or something of that meaning, they are kids, so I shouldn’t judge them too harshly. All I know is that I’m far stronger than I was when I first started writing. though I’m mostly just flailing in the darkness, I know that eventually something or someone will latch onto me.

After all, we bloggers are a lonely bunch.

Aren’t we?






@ Colossal and Crazy thing…

I’m in a pensive mood… I would’ve tweeted this out, but there’s not much point in repeated tweeted and filling up things… I dunno. sometimes I’m a bit harsh on myself because I think I’ve got a leg up, and then I screw myself over with one stupid comment, I actually don’t now what the hell I want out of life. But then there are these weird moments, weird flashes of popularity that confuse me in major ways… I’m not sure if they were all trolling me, or if something was genuine, but I don’t want to over think it. Or do I? After all, I randomly, and by chance got mistaken by Daniel Keem for ColossalisCrazy, and then I have my past coming back to haunt me, like something trying to push me back down into this hole… It seems rather altruistic and self fulfilling, that if left to my own devices, I screw things up at some point.

Is this introspection on a level that I’m not aware of? Is there a level of fame that I’m comfortable with? Or do I just not care after a while to the point of simply abandoning one thing? Whatever the reason… I just don’t like it when people try to bully me… And yeah, Daniel’s stuck in my mind for the time being, way too brash, bulldozing, and when he wasn’t getting the response he was looking for he tried … This pointless and ridiculous, and way too insulting to my integrity to be talking about him…  It’s just what he wants. What they want…

A few things just stuck in my craw, a few thing he brought up that gave me pause, but then a bud of mine who works as a moderator for pornhub told me something pretty ironic. That for all his posturing, for all his bragging, bravado, his egotistical meandering, his overtly pushy idiocies, Daniel Keem, in the eyes of regular societal views, doesn’t have a job either. In essence, he is pretty much a toxic hire because of the traits that make him famous, are the same traits that potential employers aren’t attracted to… So, by his definition, that me being a Youtuber isn’t a job, that I don’t have a job, he himself is unemployed as well.

Another thing, in the call, Lemme grab the link, is that after I gave him my condolences about his marriage not working out, he told me that the mother of his child, not introducing her as his wife, or girlfriend, simply as the mother of his child, rather strange, still lives with him. So does that mean he had a child out of wedlock? Or was it just a random chance pregnancy? Or did they have the child when they were still married, but later got divorced and decided to stay in the same house for the sake of the daughter?

I dunno, but it must mean that he cares enough to try and make things work out. I guess. Also, it must be expensive where he lives, otherwise he wouldn’t need a second income to maintain the mortgage/bills/rent to stay where he currently living. Oh well, sometimes you have to wonder about these things.

One more paragraph about Daniel, then I’m moving on. I wouldn’t let him control the conversation at all during the podcast, not one bit, in fact, I dare say that I’m rather proud that I even got him to tell a Fan Tale regarding me and my friend blake, although it was a bit insulting, but what do you expect from a guy whose job it is to ramrod his clickbait views down everyone’s throat?
When you think about Daniel Keem as both Youtuber (Remember, according to him, it’s not a job, so he’s basically mooching) and as a Parent, that the one person who will be the most affected indirectly is his own flesh and blood. It’s not hard to assume that his daughter, later on in life, will have access to Youtube and become curious as to her fathers profession. How would she react to seeing his “Work”? Would it be one of admiration and reward? Or, assuming he taught her never to pick on, bully, spread rumors about, or be mean to other kids, react with disgust at each of his videos and try to distance herself from his long shadow?
I don’t write this antagonistically, nor am I trying to get back at him. In fact, outside of his brutish nature and more or less idiotic tenacity, I rather admire his ability to draw an audience, to enrapture their minds and hearts, but most importantly, to hopefully instill the morals and psychologically positive attributes in his daughter that today’s generation of girls needs in order to hasten their own success in the harsh realities of the world.
More over, I sometimes worry that he’ll post something one day that’ll push someone to the edge, than post something again that’ll drive that one person OVER the edge.

I’d never do something like that, I’m way too docile. But, I rather think he needs to take measures to prevent another tragic loss in the Youtube community. We really don’t need a repeat of Christina Grimmie’s tragic end.

The meat and bones of this topic, ColossalisCrazy himself, a rather intellectual, intelligently spoken man with a habit of taking time to work on his videos instead of just slamming them out like most Youtubers do, because of Daniels ineptitude, we got to know each other a little bit, but he seems like the kind of person I definitely want as a friend. Yeah, Blake’s my main bud and writing partner, and I miss him dearly, (He’s just a phone call away, really.) but there’s something enigmatic about Colossal, something that drives home the point that he’s the type of friend to tell you exactly how he feels and at the same time, when you’re at your lowest, do his best to cheer you up as much as his patience would allow.

I admire a bunch of Creators, (Markiplier, Pewdiepie, Jackscepticeye for their energy. Bob and Wade for their hubris and level of chill. Naader for his ability to consume a fuck ton of food. Von for her ability to simply transform herself into a variety of characters. Keem, and Scarce for their reporting tenacity.  Idubbbz for his brutal no apology honesty. Fousey For his ever cheerful nature.) and yes, one might argue that they each have a variety of faults. I would argue back don’t we all?

But none, not a one compare to ColossalisCrazy! you take all the above mentioned Creators, you put em in a blender, and add a bit of snark and snarl with a touch of mercy thrown in for good measure, and boom! You get Colossal, a man who is dogged to hurry up with his uploads by all the impatient dorks who can’t even hold a candle to his caliber of work, he is literally to youtube what Picasso and DeVinci were and still are to the art community today! A Creator who is transformative to the Community as a whole.

While you might think I am blowing smoke up the asses of many of these creators, be assured that I am not. This is my honest opinion, no one is perfect, we are all simply human at our cores. And regardless of how much you like or dislike someone, at the very center of our DNA, we desperately need one another to make sure that everything is in order.

Thank you taking the time to read this. I don’t now how long our paths will run side by side before they diverge, but I will enjoy the ride none the less.


















Here’s what new!

Holy shit, I’ve got a lot to update y’all on! first off, my YT channel has blown  the fuck up, last we talked it was in the 100 sub range, now it’s at 327 and slowly growing by the day! I mean HOLY FUCK! and on top of that, I’ve got a massive fan base that love the shit out of the stuff I post, I mean engagement and retention just fucking suck all over, but ya know what? They love my stuff anyways. It’s like the family i never knew I had!

On top of that, my Twitter folowers have gone from, I dunno, 1000 to around 1411? It’s a weird experienc,e but i love it all the same! I mean my own real life stuff will come when it comes, but i just wanted to update you on a bunch of different things, and hoefully let my mind kind of wander around a little bit. Anyways, a couple of high profile youtubers are following me, including Colossal is Crazy, and a bunch of people in the COd community! this is isane! seriosuly! If you had told me a few years ago that i’d be this fucking popular on a few websites, I’d’ve kinda laughed. but holy shit, it is a steady fucking progression and now with live streaming, it… is still pretty fucking insane. I’m not sure how well this’ll spread on wordpress, but at the same  time, it’s time i got back into the habit of, well, doing something with my time when I’m not live streaming, podcasting for god knows how long.

Another new thing is discord, it’s only been out for a few months, but already, I’ve been able to get a neat little server going, the first time around with 100 members at its peak, but we had a breach of security, and shit went down. Luckily we were able to recoup the losses, and get a majority of our previous members back onto our server, but there are still a few of them out there, that well, for the most part we aren’t able to locate. Currently we’re at 58 members, maybe more. Sorry, 54 members. We’ve even got a podcast going, so that’s a thing! anyways, writing’s going well, even got a book published out of the whole mess as well!

If you’re interested in joining us, we’d love to have you guys! Here’s the invite link!



First off, fuck you Daniel Hogg! Why!? Because that insult was well, the fuck, overdue, and if anything, it sets the god damned tone of this fucking entry! Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, my inherent anger at the hunchback of trollerdamned isn’t the only focus here. My rage is directed mainly at data, the connection which connects us to connecting connections, so we can hopefully make fuck fuck noises while biologically connecting. This makes no sense to anyone but me, so fuck that logic. fuck it hard, without love, with a barb wired condom, attacked to a train piston, about to explode.

In Trump’s face.

there, we got that out of the way, and why am I raging like a failed Viagra patient? Because, when I’m writing, my mind’s focus, like a laser beam shot gun, and like a laser beam shotgun, I’m going to blow my load of lead pellets, all over somethings face. Like hunters, in the wilderness, going full on Broke Back Grizzly Bear. I have no fucking clue what my aim is anymore, and I’m not even drunk to tell you the truth. I guess most of whatever rage I DID have was spent on Dan’s insult. god I’m so fucking exhausted, but more on that later. Like I was saying, when I’m writing a part for the story, I don’t like my music to be interrupted by something like Battery Doctors prescription of Pissmeoffium, because it does that. On a regular basis, and I’m kind of sick of it.

I guess it’s just age, or whatnot, but…. Hopp, found it! Found my focus! When I’m listening to Trance music for a while, my memory kind of flips out on me, and it brings me back to Kim Kelly. I don’t know why, maybe my subconscious is still trying to figure everything out all over again? I don’t know, I don’t care to be honest, but hey, more power to the little guy, right? It’s a weird set of circumstances when the memories of something from the past coming trouncing back into your mind.

It’s almost like a long forgotten puzzle you’ve just put away, and kind of abandoned over the years, only to find yourself still trying to figure it out later on when no ones looking. to be honest, I’ve been thinking a LOT about Kim, but more in a “Huh, interesting. I wonder what’s on HBO?” kinda way. and it’s not even about the ACTUAL woman herself, it’s more or less about the function of the psychologically created construct that serves as a reminder of who this Kim person was to me, and I can’t shake the feeling she might’ve been someone important in one way or another, either directly or indirectly. Maybe a forced amnesia?

Either way, it’s never really a topic I’ve openly talked about till now. Maybe it’s the fact I’m alone most of the day? So my mind tends to try and figure out these little puzzlebox memories of situations I’ve landed myself in. And the… What do I want to call this? The… Kimcident? works well enough I suppose. the Kimcident was a period of my time at Victorvalley colledge where I learned a few well placed hard truths about adulthood, and my own personal sanity as a result. It taught me to calm the fuck down, dress the fuck up, and instead of flipping the fuck out, try to solve my way out of the situation with a bunch of fail safes, redundancies, and quick fixes, all of which would work well enough together.

But moving on from there,what I originally wanted to talk about was the problem of certain apps auto killing the data connection to phones in order to speed up the charge rates of batteries. Which, due to the technical limitations, can only really do so much in terms to helping the recharge rate. After all, the tines that connect the USB cable to the battery itself are only designed to deliver so much ampage, and any more would ultimately fry the battery, or cause a chemical reaction within the battery acid contained there within.

I just went full on technobabble without any effort! now to edit and post this sick son of a bitch, like the orphaning of the batman all over again! Seriously, we tend to want to see Bruce Wayne’s parents rekilled every couple of years, and even though it’s pretty damned worth it to see the joker get his ICP reject asss handed to him on a silver platter, you’ve gotta admit, killing Bruce Waynes Parents over and over is a sick addiction that the public just can’t get enough of. Fuck you Warner Brothers

I could never leave this site… Completely.

I’m back, again, and I have no idea why, but posthaven seems kind of dull. most blogging sites are in one way or another. Sure, one could argue that the flash and pomp of places like Fubar, myspace, facebook, could be the end times, the signs of destruction and distraction for an already destructive and desctracted populace… but why?

Why are we so distracted by the little things that we can’t really, I mean, truly focus on the big picture? Yes, the internet helps, but in a way, it also hinders. We all know this, we all know that attention spans have gone down considerably because we want things NOW, this instant, immediately! but even with the advent of high speed internet, things still tae time. skype calls aren’t really phone calls, as much as they just precorded messeges being relayed to both parties are a pretty fucking fast rate.

I did some thinking on this a while back while posting vids for youtube. The site is a time capsule of sorts, content creators upload tiny bits of their lives, for people to watch later on in the day. In that way, we’re kind of metaphysical time travelers, and yes, those content creators that do well for themselves, are often the ones that dedicate their lives to the craft. I hope to get to one point where i don’t need to clock in a regular point just to work my ass off for some shlub who’s got the ability to fire me if he doesn’t think I’m up to snuff. Hell I’ve been busting my ass for a long ass time. forgot what the fuck I was writing about.

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